no sex life in relationship

[Hitch894]

Good day ladies and gentlemen,

I have a girlfriend. A beautiful, smart, well-educated woman with a great sense of humor. She is the ultimate, perfect woman, except for one really important thing: We have almost no sex life.

I know how to please a woman, the few times we actually have some fun together, she seems to have enjoyed it very much. She gives me a strong feeling of finding me attractive - heck, I'm working out and stuff.

Since we know each other, which is roughly half a year now, all but one attempts to have sex were initiated by me. I do not force anything, I am gentle and understanding. Even all of the times, she is "not in the mood", "too tired", "headaches", and so on. Which is at least 90% of the time. It frustrates me. A lot. As we only see each other on weekends, you can imagine there are always several weeks going by between our most intimate moments.

"Go talk about that!" - I did, no effect. She does not want to have sex with me more than once every couple of weeks and is not willing or able to understand the importance this has to me. Literally every other girl I dated was a nymphomaniac, compared to her.

Here's the thing: temptation. I'm in a job where I have LOADS of contact with equally attractive and smart women. And almost everyone seems to like me. There would be no problem at all dropping her and finding a new gf within the matter of days (or maybe weeks). As I do not want this to happen again for the 20th time now, I'm not sure whether to make this work somehow or if I'm in my second-to-last relationship.

So why not ask some complete internet strangers for advice?

Cheers,
Hitch894

[Kewbrah]

Dump her

/thread

[chivasregal]

Dump her

/thread

Normally I’d disagree with these insensitive responses, but in this case I do but FIRST:

1. Tell her how important it is to have sex in a relationship, given she’s not a virgin/saving it for marriage.

2. Make sure there are no major insecurities on her part. Talk it out with her. Maybe she had a bad experience before and you pushing for it might be triggering it. Girls are more prone to these anxiety-inducing things.

3. Maybe try doing things a bit differently? Maybe she likes the romantic/spontaneous stuff. Maybe that’s what will get her going and ready. Maybe you need to put in more effort, as frustrating as that may sound for you

[WorstFEELBRO]

I had anex like this once had sex in 2 weeek was so annoying maybe i didn't turn her on but i think its because she was on birth control pills? i don't know i wnder if she puts out more for the guy she is with now? feels ab dman

[etet1919]

You can ask the female miscers if they want to send free nudes. They are located here and in the misc section. That may help get the juices flowing again in your "relationship." This way you won't be tempted to cheat on your girl if you still want to be with her (you don't say how long you've been with her...?).

But it dosen't sound like you two are on the same wave length. I would have a heart-to-heart talk with her (outside of the bedroom) about why she is avoiding you.

[Legz422]

I'd say first have a serious talk about it and let her know that sex is important in a relationship. Try to find out why she isn't interested in having sex. If nothing changes then end it. If you continue you're in for a miserable life.

[Hitch894]

hey guys and gals,

thanks for your messages. I tried to have a talk a few weeks ago, but it has made it rather worse than better. She said it's like a chore to her and I feel she only does it out of pity now. I will maybe try something again, maybe there really is something in the past or whatever.

I would never ever cheat on a girl, so I am really considering breaking up with her and start all over again.

Thanks for your advice on this.

[Legz422]

hey guys and gals,

thanks for your messages. I tried to have a talk a few weeks ago, but it has made it rather worse than better. She said it's like a chore to her and I feel she only does it out of pity now. I will maybe try something again, maybe there really is something in the past or whatever.

I would never ever cheat on a girl, so I am really considering breaking up with her and start all over again.

Thanks for your advice on this.

End it. At the beginning of a relationship you should be having tons of sex. This is a huge red flag. She either has no sex drive or is not physically attracted to you.

[DustinTheHuss]

Maybe she was sexually assaulted? That happened to me once with an ex. She didn't want to get into it but had a low sex drive.

[Aspenextreme03]

Seems like she is cheating on you.

[skinnyfat88]

She said it's like a chore to her

Dealbreaker.
Is she asexual?

I'd tell her I'm more than willing to explore how the two of you can make sex better for her but if she has no interest in that then you don't see it working out due to this incompatibility.

[elterrible987]

"Here's the thing: temptation. I'm in a job where I have LOADS of contact with equally attractive and smart women. And almost everyone seems to like me. There would be no problem at all dropping her and finding a new gf within the matter of days (or maybe weeks). "


then dump her and get a new one. be sure this isnt really grass is always greener syndrome though and your idea that all these sloots want to bang you isnt just in your head

[Ninshark]

Normally I’d disagree with these insensitive responses, but in this case I do but FIRST:

1. Tell her how important it is to have sex in a relationship, given she’s not a virgin/saving it for marriage.

2. Make sure there are no major insecurities on her part. Talk it out with her. Maybe she had a bad experience before and you pushing for it might be triggering it. Girls are more prone to these anxiety-inducing things.

3. Maybe try doing things a bit differently? Maybe she likes the romantic/spontaneous stuff. Maybe that’s what will get her going and ready. Maybe you need to put in more effort, as frustrating as that may sound for you

I'm on spread for this post, read it OP.

[lukefaulky32]

lol at relationships with no sex

[ALEXH-]

Communication man. Talk to her. Maybe she has underlining reasons etc. Tell her it's a deal-breaker for you etc. Good luck

[JustMoved24]

If she doesn’t put my penor in her mouth by the 2nd meet up it’s over. (This has never not happened tho). Couldn’t imagine being Ina sexless relationship

You’re a better man then I OP.

[AWillis]

"well-educated"

there is your first problem lol


by what standard

[EctoPlasmic217]

hey guys and gals,

thanks for your messages. I tried to have a talk a few weeks ago, but it has made it rather worse than better. She said it's like a chore to her and I feel she only does it out of pity now. I will maybe try something again, maybe there really is something in the past or whatever.

I would never ever cheat on a girl, so I am really considering breaking up with her and start all over again.

Thanks for your advice on this.

are you in your 50s? because it says 51, or was that a registration error?

[Luc1fer]

Normally I’d disagree with these insensitive responses, but in this case I do but FIRST:

1. Tell her how important it is to have sex in a relationship, given she’s not a virgin/saving it for marriage.

2. Make sure there are no major insecurities on her part. Talk it out with her. Maybe she had a bad experience before and you pushing for it might be triggering it. Girls are more prone to these anxiety-inducing things.

3. Maybe try doing things a bit differently? Maybe she likes the romantic/spontaneous stuff. Maybe that’s what will get her going and ready. Maybe you need to put in more effort, as frustrating as that may sound for you

This. It's really important to attempt COMMUNICATION on the topic right now. If that goes nowhere, then walk away.

[iloveus]

I get extremely horny when I work out (using both weights[especially legs] and running) and whenever I drink my Chocolate Peanut Butter Protein Smoothie (Tastes like Reese's but is prob 1000 calories and 100g of fat)

[Brosnbroccoli]

Yeah if you have already talked about it, you guys are incompatible and you need to end it.