Ex who is in new relationship "really misses talking to me"

[severagee]

Here are the clifs:
-Start dating my chemistry lab partner in undergrad
-Wonderful relationship, but she unexpectedly break things off because of complicated situation that comes up and because I'm leaving for an in-state dental school she can't go to (I'm a year ahead of her)
-Neither of us date other people and stay together "casually" for another two years, including my first year of dental school
-She regularly says we're like "an old married couple", talk about getting back together if she goes to grad school near me
-We cuddle, kiss on lips, say "I love you", occasionally have sex when together
-She later ends up committing to a dental school over 10 hours away, so it becomes clear we're not getting back together
-COVID hits, my school goes online, move back in with parents and see my ex regularly. Still intimate with her
-A week before she leaves, she starts acting weird. A month after she leaves, she tells me she has a new BF who flies up to see her regularly
-I get pissed cause she hooked up with him behind my back. We partially reconcile, but she and I don't speak for months
-Two months ago she tells me she misses talking to me, but her new BF said he'd be uncomfortable if she and I stay friends

When I first learned of the hook-up and blew up at her, her new BF messaged me saying I needed to move on, and I told him I'd break his jaw if I ever saw him in-person. Ended up apologizing, but that's all he and I have ever said to each other. When my ex broke the news of the new guy to me, she did tell me I'm "more impressive" than he is. Now a couple days ago, she reached out to me saying she and her new BF had a talk, and "they both" decided he over-reacted not wanting her and I to remain friends. Now she wants to FaceTime saying she "really misses talking to me."

What do misc? Keep in mind this girl goes to an Ivy-league doctoral program, so she's very smart, and she always seemed super attracted to my intelligence. Her new BF is struggling to finish undergrad at a local state school, so that's what she meant when she said I'm "more impressive" than he is. But what's her end-game here?

[shirtlessbrah]

Here are the clifs:
-Start dating my chemistry lab partner in undergrad
-Wonderful relationship, but she unexpectedly break things off because of complicated situation that comes up and because I'm leaving for an in-state dental school she can't go to (I'm a year ahead of her)
-Neither of us date other people and stay together "casually" for another two years, including my first year of dental school
-She regularly says we're like "an old married couple", talk about getting back together if she goes to grad school near me
-We cuddle, kiss on lips, say "I love you", occasionally have sex when together
-She later ends up committing to a dental school over 10 hours away, so it becomes clear we're not getting back together
-COVID hits, my school goes online, move back in with parents and see my ex regularly. Still intimate with her
-A week before she leaves, she starts acting weird. A month after she leaves, she tells me she has a new BF who flies up to see her regularly
-I get pissed cause she hooked up with him behind my back. We partially reconcile, but she and I don't speak for months
-Two months ago she tells me she misses talking to me, but her new BF said he'd be uncomfortable if she and I stay friends

When I first learned of the hook-up and blew up at her, her new BF messaged me saying I needed to move on, and I told him I'd break his jaw if I ever saw him in-person. Ended up apologizing, but that's all he and I have ever said to each other. When my ex broke the news of the new guy to me, she did tell me I'm "more impressive" than he is. Now a couple days ago, she reached out to me saying she and her new BF had a talk, and "they both" decided he over-reacted not wanting her and I to remain friends. Now she wants to FaceTime saying she "really misses talking to me."

What do misc? Keep in mind this girl goes to an Ivy-league doctoral program, so she's very smart, and she always seemed super attracted to my intelligence. Her new BF is struggling to finish undergrad at a local state school, so that's what she meant when she said I'm "more impressive" than he is. But what's her end-game here?

Can you live with the thought that at the end of every "good conversation" you had on facetime she then rolls over the bed and proceeds to take her bf's dick deep in her anoos?

If not just cut her out completely. There's no point in remaining friends if she's going to be in a relationship with someone else since you clearly still have romantic feelings for her. That's only going to cause you more grief. You can let her know that and maybe she ends up breaking up with him and if not then you move on.

[randomuser12345]

Why would you want to be friends with girl that left you for another guy and currently taking him balls deep. Are you a cuck?

I never had a girl friends besides the one i currently f*cking or my mates gf. Don't feel like i missed anything.

[legbroke]

she always seemed super attracted to my intelligence.

Unaware

[iloveus]

I miss talking you too

wait wut?!

[wickedman]

Don't be dumb. He's on borrowed time if they are having conversations about her being able to talk with old dudes she used to ****. And he lost 50% of whatever respect she had for him when he agreed that she should be able to talk to dudes she used to ****.

Just tell her you're not interested in that kind of relationship (and don't elaborate on conditions or ultimatums). This has two benefits. One, it lets you keep your self respect and not get caught up in some bull**** love cuck triangle - move on. Two, she's going to leave him eventually anyway and it will probably be a lot faster now that he's cucked himself, and even faster if you tell her no way Jose to her plan of keeping you around as her gay friend - so you'll have an opportunity to get back with her if you really want to and it won't be from a position of weakness.

[lukefaulky32]

You should completely forget this girl. Grow some balls. Do not contact her again.

[RakiaPower]

-A week before she leaves, she starts acting weird. A month after she leaves, she tells me she has a new BF who flies up to see her regularly

If she really said this, she was trying to make you jealous. You are the one who's holding the strings here. She would break up with him for you no doubt. Either give her the ultimatum and keep dragging this so called LDR or break it off completely and go on with your life. Your choice.

[kain89]

Listen here man...

If u guys BOTH "broke up" and kept it casual...i would say "ok", just give her the ultimatum and see what she does.

But from what u said, u were basically on a long distance relationship, feelings were involved and u remained faithful AND she disrespects your feelings for her (and their own for u) and TOOK A DICK INSIDE OF HER, just A FEW HOURS after seeing u. SHE WAS FUKING OTHER DUDE WHILE WRITING U LOVE MESSAGES. ARE U FUKING KIDDING ME? dump that hoe man, she is WORTHLESS.

also, she is trying to keep u on the net saying sweet things, but the truth is SHE WAS GETTING HER PUSY DESTROYED while u wrote that post.

leave that bitx

[turokturok5]

Holy phuck and I thought I was an idiot for responding to my ex's happy new year text. Just go NC on her and maintain your self-respect. Who cares if she said you're "more impressive", she's banging him and not you. Like everyone else has said the new guy has cucked himself and it probably won't last between them, but honestly, self respect man. She chose to fk you off for this new guy and wants to either keep you in her orbit as a back up, or she is using you for your "intelligence".

You say you're in a similar field and you have some more experience than her - when you have these conversations where she misses you, do you talk about work and help her with work-related or study related issues? My ex and I met at college studying the same degree and graduated as a couple. When we both started working in different hospitals, I was a lot more confident than her and had more practical experience. Every day for 4 months after we finished work, she would call me to debrief cases with me, to ask me questions and to get advice. When she dumped me, it took 2 days of no contact for her to start reaching out to me, saying she missed me and wanting to talk about work. Except, she didn't want me back, she just wanted me to tell her how to do her job. What I'm getting at is maybe your ex is doing the same, just wants to benefit from your intelligence instead of having to have any form of commitment

[WafflesBrah]

You sound desperate OP. That other dude is creampieing her everyday while you're at home crying and in your feelings about her. Bro she's using you as a safety net incase her other relationship fails and you're allowing it. You raging over a text threatening her new guy looked so pathetic. She probably swallowed his cum right after you had that childish emotional outburst. Move on and going N/C is the only way to redeem yourself.

[StyleGent]

say yes to face timing and then ghost her

[Murph0408]

it all sounds pretty unhealthy and somebody (you or him) needs to push back and cut her off. she's playing by her own rules and both of you look like suckers. even moreso when he writes you about it and you threaten to hit him in the face. come on now, who's the real heel here? you're both missing the plot

bail on her. hey i can't do the friend thing, good luck. that's it.

your age says 51 but i assume that's incorrect and you're young. you're working on becoming a dentist. you have bigger things going on and down the road better opportunities will present themselves.

[severagee]

it all sounds pretty unhealthy and somebody (you or him) needs to push back and cut her off. she's playing by her own rules and both of you look like suckers. even moreso when he writes you about it and you threaten to hit him in the face. come on now, who's the real heel here? you're both missing the plot

bail on her. hey i can't do the friend thing, good luck. that's it.

your age says 51 but i assume that's incorrect and you're young. you're working on becoming a dentist. you have bigger things going on and down the road better opportunities will present themselves.

Thanks brah, and everyone else who responded. Yea I'm 24, thinking about specializing in Oral and Maxillofacial Surgery, I don't need this added chit in my life. I owe a lot of my academic successes to the fact that I DIDN'T chase women early on.

It's kinda amazing the draw this girl has on dudes. Especially her new BF. He literally buys a plane ticket every single week to fly up and see her, despite being in college himself. And now has apparently "agreed" to let her stay in touch with her ex-BF that she talked about starting a family with, who she was still hooking up with until 2 weeks before she left.

She's one of the most beautiful women I've ever met in my life, just an incredible face that can't be "worked" for, plus she has a super flirty and sexy personality. I think she's also a good person at heart, incredibly empathetic and never cared for drama. Spent 50 hours knitting me a scarf before she left, wrote me tons of notes when I left for dental school about how I was "so worthy of love", that whoever marries me is "really lucky", chit like that. She helped me grow like nobody else in undergrad, so that's why it's hard to cut her out completely.

But she has very significant daddy issues (he was a drug addict who was rarely in her life and cheated on her mom), dealt with sexual abuse from a young age, etc, and I think that's screwed up her relationship with men immensely. She always thinks that they're going to end up hurting her, so it's like she feels the need to break away first as a protective mechanism. Also has a sloot past. Any Misc psychologists able to explain her actions in context of her father?

[severagee]

Listen here man...

If u guys BOTH "broke up" and kept it casual...i would say "ok", just give her the ultimatum and see what she does.

But from what u said, u were basically on a long distance relationship, feelings were involved and u remained faithful AND she disrespects your feelings for her (and their own for u) and TOOK A DICK INSIDE OF HER, just A FEW HOURS after seeing u. SHE WAS FUKING OTHER DUDE WHILE WRITING U LOVE MESSAGES. ARE U FUKING KIDDING ME? dump that hoe man, she is WORTHLESS.

also, she is trying to keep u on the net saying sweet things, but the truth is SHE WAS GETTING HER PUSY DESTROYED while u wrote that post.

leave that bitx

We were basically casually together for those 2 years after we broke up cause the possibility of getting back together down the line was still there. But once I started dental school, she'd flip between saying I should date other girls (she wanted me to have more relationship experience so I could be positive she was the "one"), and being scared that I'd replace her. In my mind I couldn't think about dating other girls, cause I was still attached to her. In fact I tried dating other girls after she and I first broke up, and I literally had no interest in new girls I went on dates with in the slightest.

Around February she got into this Ivy League and committed to it, that's when she and I implicitly realized we weren't getting back together. But we still visited constantly and behaved the same way. About 2 weeks before she left, she told me I'd have to let her know when I started dating someone new, that it'd "break her heart", but she wanted to know. She offered to help me make a Tinder and other things. This is the end of June.

She met this guy a week after that and started acting more distant. But the day she left, said she "loved me so much", and wanted to know about my dating life in the future. It wasn't until a month after she left that she told me about this new guy and the hookup.

[sam212]

We were basically casually together for those 2 years after we broke up cause the possibility of getting back together down the line was still there. But once I started dental school, she'd flip between saying I should date other girls (she wanted me to have more relationship experience so I could be positive she was the "one"), and being scared that I'd replace her. In my mind I couldn't think about dating other girls, cause I was still attached to her. In fact I tried dating other girls after she and I first broke up, and I literally had no interest in new girls I went on dates with in the slightest.

Around February she got into this Ivy League and committed to it, that's when she and I implicitly realized we weren't getting back together. But we still visited constantly and behaved the same way. About 2 weeks before she left, she told me I'd have to let her know when I started dating someone new, that it'd "break her heart", but she wanted to know. She offered to help me make a Tinder and other things. This is the end of June.

She met this guy a week after that and started acting more distant. But the day she left, said she "loved me so much", and wanted to know about my dating life in the future. It wasn't until a month after she left that she told me about this new guy and the hookup.

Did not read. She wants the D. Give it to her but don’t take her back.

[1320it]

Man, she is playing both you and the new guy as complete chumps. I think it speaks a lot about her character that she is willing to text her ex(you) behind her current BF's back. Is this really the type of bitch you wanna **** with and see a future with? That is really shady ass ****. **** that noise, bro.

I know you don't want to hear this but you should move on. She may miss parts of you but she is still choosing everyday to be with someone else. Also, when you give someone the benefit of the doubt all she does is benefit and you always doubt. Move. On. You will find someone way better. Focus your effort on other things. NC does wonders if you commit to it.

[BodyBuildingGo]

She's one of the most beautiful women I've ever met in my life, just an incredible face that can't be "worked" for, plus she has a super flirty and sexy personality. I think she's also a good person at heart, incredibly empathetic and never cared for drama. Spent 50 hours knitting me a scarf before she left, wrote me tons of notes when I left for dental school about how I was "so worthy of love", that whoever marries me is "really lucky", chit like that. She helped me grow like nobody else in undergrad, so that's why it's hard to cut her out completely.

Just have to say that reading this really hit me hard emotionally. I'm going through a breakup from a 4+ year relationship that started in undergrad and went through my first years as a professional, and my ex was exactly like you described, minus the incredible face (imo it was incredible, but not so much to others) and daddy issues/sloot past. Just a super competent (probably will be literally CEO 10/k day within 10 years), intelligent (nearly valedictorian at our elite university), kind, generous, sexy, and fun person. She could always make a friend in any room. I wouldn't be where I am today (ignore sig), without her. I spent months wanting to get back together with her (and declined her offer to get back together 2 months after she broke up with me), but I know that she needs to move on because she deserves someone better than me who's ready to give her what she needs.

Your girl clearly needs help resolving some deep issues, but reading that there are other girls like that, who are fundamentally good, kind of gives me hope.

Edit: I may have been feeling what she's feeling right now. There were times when I was lying in bed with a new girl after the breakup, someone who at times I felt like I really liked, but at night would look at and find myself wishing she were my ex instead. Then, I'd receive messages from my ex every other day or so, and feel guilty that I was keeping communication open despite her breaking up with me. She clearly knew what was best for her, but I was playing a part in stopping her from moving on by not going NC. But at the same time, it made me happy to talk to her because I missed her. It's a ****ty cycle. One of you has to say either we're getting back together and figuring out how to make a future together, or we're cutting all contact and going NC.

[Vertigo5891]

Forget all that lovey dovey bs man, its all just a carrot on a stick

[AKMuzzle]

What a cuck

[severagee]

Just have to say that reading this really hit me hard emotionally. I'm going through a breakup from a 4+ year relationship that started in undergrad and went through my first years as a professional, and my ex was exactly like you described, minus the incredible face (imo it was incredible, but not so much to others) and daddy issues/sloot past. Just a super competent (probably will be literally CEO 10/k day within 10 years), intelligent (nearly valedictorian at our elite university), kind, generous, sexy, and fun person. She could always make a friend in any room. I wouldn't be where I am today (ignore sig), without her. I spent months wanting to get back together with her (and declined her offer to get back together 2 months after she broke up with me), but I know that she needs to move on because she deserves someone better than me who's ready to give her what she needs.

Your girl clearly needs help resolving some deep issues, but reading that there are other girls like that, who are fundamentally good, kind of gives me hope.

Edit: I may have been feeling what she's feeling right now. There were times when I was lying in bed with a new girl after the breakup, someone who at times I felt like I really liked, but at night would look at and find myself wishing she were my ex instead. Then, I'd receive messages from my ex every other day or so, and feel guilty that I was keeping communication open despite her breaking up with me. She clearly knew what was best for her, but I was playing a part in stopping her from moving on by not going NC. But at the same time, it made me happy to talk to her because I missed her. It's a ****ty cycle. One of you has to say either we're getting back together and figuring out how to make a future together, or we're cutting all contact and going NC.

Your story sounds very similar to mine. She sounds like an amazing woman. But no matter how amazing a girl might be, it doesn't always mean they're right for you. As much as I loved (and still love) my ex, even while dating I felt like she and I wouldn't end up married and together. And she kind of alluded to this as well. Asking me if I'd invite her to my eventual wedding, chit like that while we were together. But then she'd get emotional at many points, even after we broke up, and talk about how much she dreamed of starting a family with me. We'd talk about what we'd name our kids, if we had any. I feel like logically we new we weren't right for each other - she wasn't religious, raised in a single parent household, very different levels of dating experience and sexual morals - but we also got along so well, had a connection like few people ever make. Could go on a hike and talk for hours and hours without any moments of silence. And we both helped each other so much, personally and academically. Always nice to hear from another Miscer who has climbed so much academically, especially with a woman you love

She and I FaceTimed today. She was so interested in my dental school progress, if I had dated anyone else, that sort of thing. And she was very respectful to her current BF, didn't try to flirt with me or anything else. To her credit, she was always so loyal when we were together, and remained so for 2 years after we broke up. So as much as I want to be angry at her, for sleeping with someone behind my back, it's difficult to. If I really wanted her loyalty, I should've tried to get back with her.

[superman704]

Op I should kick your ass

[AKMuzzle]

Your story sounds very similar to mine. She sounds like an amazing woman. But no matter how amazing a girl might be, it doesn't always mean they're right for you. As much as I loved (and still love) my ex, even while dating I felt like she and I wouldn't end up married and together. And she kind of alluded to this as well. Asking me if I'd invite her to my eventual wedding, chit like that while we were together. But then she'd get emotional at many points, even after we broke up, and talk about how much she dreamed of starting a family with me. We'd talk about what we'd name our kids, if we had any. I feel like logically we new we weren't right for each other - she wasn't religious, raised in a single parent household, very different levels of dating experience and sexual morals - but we also got along so well, had a connection like few people ever make. Could go on a hike and talk for hours and hours without any moments of silence. And we both helped each other so much, personally and academically. Always nice to hear from another Miscer who has climbed so much academically, especially with a woman you love

She and I FaceTimed today. She was so interested in my dental school progress, if I had dated anyone else, that sort of thing. And she was very respectful to her current BF, didn't try to flirt with me or anything else. To her credit, she was always so loyal when we were together, and remained so for 2 years after we broke up. So as much as I want to be angry at her, for sleeping with someone behind my back, it's difficult to. If I really wanted her loyalty, I should've tried to get back with her.

Bruh you are contradicting yourself. How on earth is she loyal if she cheated? lol

She was never marriage material. She dismissed marrying you WHILST being married JFL. Moreover, shes with current BF but still wants to talk to you wtf. She doesnt have a loyal bone in her buddy. This girl had you fooled man. She literally facetimes you just to keep you her orbiter.

Women dont connect with you because you had so many romantic connecting moments with them, they connect with you when you act like a man. You dont be an emotional boy who spills all his feelings, panders to her and tries to make her happy at all times.

Come on buddy, move on and stop talking to her.

[InsanePain11]

Brah, going to give you some truth here. She's playing you the most, and she's also disrespectign the guy she's with. You need to take that thought that she's an angel, sweetest girl, most beautiful etc out of your mind and look at her ACTIONS.

I've been through similar very long relationships where I was still in love but it had to end. It fuking hurts and the pain is real. But once she starts fuking another guy you need to OFFICIALLY PEACE OUT! Fuk that dude, keep some self respect. Your ego is hurting because you probably felt she wouldn't really move on or fuk someone, but then she did and your brain is warped and you're comparing yourself to him, this is why you mention being 'smarter' than him etc. Brah you probably are better than him and she's with him out of convenience, but the fact is she is still with him. She's playing big games here and still has you wanting to think she's innocent. All the things you described about her almost always are the thoughts guys have after this kind of breakup. You're missing her and it's one of the toughest things you'll go through ever. She misses you too but you can't allow her to be with him, and then go to you for support as well..whether she likes you better or not this is unacceptable. You're going to feel worse unless you start realizing this is wrong and she isn't worthy of your attention now. When you said she started dated him 'behind your back' I'm not sure if you were officially broken up, but it seems she thought so.

Hit the gym hard, work on your studies, NEVER look at her pictures or social media. Keep being open to dating although it will take a good amount of time to get excited about a girl again (if you're anything like me). Honestly I wish you look bro but I hope you look after yourself and don't let her keep walking all over you.

[wickedman]

Damn, decided to cuck yourself. Now she won't feel too bad about staying with her current beta BF knowing that you are also capable of such low self-respect.

It's alright though mane, we've all been there at least once. You'll look back on it as a good learning experience someday.

[Imnew1]

Brah, going to give you some truth here. She's playing you the most, and she's also disrespectign the guy she's with. You need to take that thought that she's an angel, sweetest girl, most beautiful etc out of your mind and look at her ACTIONS.

I've been through similar very long relationships where I was still in love but it had to end. It fuking hurts and the pain is real. But once she starts fuking another guy you need to OFFICIALLY PEACE OUT! Fuk that dude, keep some self respect. Your ego is hurting because you probably felt she wouldn't really move on or fuk someone, but then she did and your brain is warped and you're comparing yourself to him, this is why you mention being 'smarter' than him etc. Brah you probably are better than him and she's with him out of convenience, but the fact is she is still with him. She's playing big games here and still has you wanting to think she's innocent. All the things you described about her almost always are the thoughts guys have after this kind of breakup. You're missing her and it's one of the toughest things you'll go through ever. She misses you too but you can't allow her to be with him, and then go to you for support as well..whether she likes you better or not this is unacceptable. You're going to feel worse unless you start realizing this is wrong and she isn't worthy of your attention now. When you said she started dated him 'behind your back' I'm not sure if you were officially broken up, but it seems she thought so.

Hit the gym hard, work on your studies, NEVER look at her pictures or social media. Keep being open to dating although it will take a good amount of time to get excited about a girl again (if you're anything like me). Honestly I wish you look bro but I hope you look after yourself and don't let her keep walking all over you.

Pretty good post

[severagee]

Bruh you are contradicting yourself. How on earth is she loyal if she cheated? lol

She was never marriage material. She dismissed marrying you WHILST being married JFL. Moreover, shes with current BF but still wants to talk to you wtf. She doesnt have a loyal bone in her buddy. This girl had you fooled man. She literally facetimes you just to keep you her orbiter.

Women dont connect with you because you had so many romantic connecting moments with them, they connect with you when you act like a man. You dont be an emotional boy who spills all his feelings, panders to her and tries to make her happy at all times.

Come on buddy, move on and stop talking to her.

I understand what you’re saying, and I’m really not trying to look at this through rose-tinted goggles. But she was extremely loyal while we were together, told me about every dude who tried to get with her. And she stayed loyal for TWO YEARS after we broke up, only finally moving on a week before she left to start her next stage of life, 500 miles away from me and once it was assured we weren’t getting back together.

If she was a guy posting on the Misc, you’d all tell her she should be fukking other people and not be loyal to a person who won’t actually commit to her. Prior to me she had never been single for over 2 weeks, but she stayed single and loyal to me again for 2 years. And we had talked extensively about dating other people and to keep each other in the loop, prior to her hooking up with this dude. I just got hurt by it all cause I was more attached when she left than I should have been.

I agree with you all on most everything else though. This saga has been difficult to move on from, and she defined my undergraduate romantic life. But she’s 15 hours away, with another dude, and we’ve both started the next stage of our lives. I need to cut her out and focus on my studies and my future

[Imnew1]

Lmao two things you gotta learn

a) Women are hypergamous and 90% will whore without any guilt or remorse if the guy is either better looking or has more resources / status or something that he can offer her (promotions, help at job etc.)
b) Don't be a cuck and you should be banging other women

This situation is easy, you can still be with her and continue banging her but never, ever date her, spend money on her, have any attachments to her or commit to her. You can give her the ILLUSION that you will commit to her but never actually do it and you can continue to keep banging and enjoying variety. Also NEVER reach out to her first any more, when she reaches out, just ask her to meet up and then hook up. If she asks you for "intelligence", just tell her you're really busy and you'll get back to her but never actually get back to her.

Trust me bro, that is the ultimate way to win. All these other bros telling you to just **** off and end it don't really understand that there is a next level of ruthlessness and emotional scarring you can take it to someone who ****s with you like that

But yes, overall, i agree you should hit the gym, work on your studies and date other women on the side. Basically keep her as a side piece but talk to her like she the main chick until you do find someone that is worthy of being the main chick.

Edit: Also the best part is, it sounds like she is struggling professionally. In the long term, as long as you continue to work on yourself, your value increases as a man while her value constantly decreases every year. Since you guys already have an emotional bond, she will continuously try to get you to commit to her over time as the "one that got away". When she gets desperate enough you can bang her one last time and kick her to the curb. Years of her life will probably be wasted while you get to enjoy her pussy but you have to think if she would care about you on the flip side if you were any weaker than you already are.

I kind of did this with my ex without intending to. She monkey branched 2 years ago after being together for a year. Came back missing me like crazy 3 months later, but as expected her respect level was worse than ever. Taking an ex back makes their respect for you drop to an all time low. Family being trashed in front of hers, and then a month later in front of complete strangers on her bday at a $600 winery resort for 1 night, being spit at, always keeping her options open on snapchat and instagram. I just decided to teach her a lesson she could never time wise recover from when she wanted to have kids. Kept dating her as long as she was having sex, and dealing with her ultimatums of me getting my own place, asking me on my own bday did I want to marry her and not to worry that she didn't have to marry me she could find somebody else if I didn't want to. Just an all around disrespectful bitch completely full of herself. Once she cut off sex like she did the previous year I told her this wouldn't work for me and call me when she wanted to be bf/gf again for real. Rejected her friendship, and had hell to pay for the next 1.5 months.

I have no regrets. I wasted her time and biological clock and she deserved every bit of it. Gave her every chance to be a wife and she fked it up at every turn. Should have never taken her back.

To OP. Move on! DO NOT be her friend. Pretend she's dead as hard as that might be. If she's talking to you behind her new bf's back, she was definitely doing it to you too. A decent woman doesn't keep communicating with a person they had sex with, while they're in a committed relationship. Most of us have been there with a chick with thought was loyal, sweet, a family type of girl, only to find out they're all hypergamous with a million options. You remaining friends with her is disrespectful to her new relationship whether she wants to respect it or not, and disrespectful to anybody that you're dating. Cut the cord and tell her "I can't be just friends with you. You left you me for another guy, and fk you have a good day."

[Imnew1]

Yep, you can't have any attachment for any particular woman unless they prove to you that they are worth it. Trust me, she would have 100% done the same to you. Think about all the women that put men on child support and collect monthly checks with batting an eye or take 50% of assets.

Good women are rare, when you find one, treasure her. But like good men, good women are perhaps 5% of the population and they are all looking for 5% men. A man's best investment of energy and mental capital is into himself, always. Regardless if it is a good woman or a bad woman, the best thing a man can do is add value to himself and to those around him that are valuable as well.

One of the truest tests out there for a woman is how she acts when you break up. Good women will be sad and go bitch and cry to their friends and family, but wish you the best with love. Hateful, narcissistic psychos with daddy issues will start smear campaigns, send some of the most vile hateful things you could ever imagine, try to ruin all of your friendships, your job, probably stab you if they could in the monent, and morph into a woman you never knew existed.

TO OP.. Women that have suckers who remain their friends are no better. There's studies that show that people with NPD are the ones who keep their exes around as friends and the reasons why. Cut the cord and forget they ever existed. Yes we all shared good times with exes, but life goes on and there's new people waiting for you. You can always love and care, but from afar. Don't be an emotional tampon she can cry to when the new guy that busted in her vag and in her mouth and on her face turned out to be an jackass that had no care in the world for her and she didn't really like. The grass is usually not that much greener. Water seeks it's own level. She was yours for a reason and a season. She'll hang around as long as you disrespect yourself and allow her to walk all over you and reek the benefits of a friend who is no longer allowed sex, but maybe one day...... If not for your own self respect, do it for her to help her get whatever it is she needs. She'll never get it if you're her emotional tampon ex in the background.

[Imnew1]

To your first paragraph:

That is true, however, if you yourself understand the game and work, to the best of your ability, try to genuinely become a "good" man to a "good" woman AFTER she has proven herself to you, ideally those are the relationships that last a life time and continually get better over time where you both grow and love each other more and more and attain (statistically) highest levels of satisfaction and happiness. HOWEVER, there are far too many garbage-tier women who masquerade as good women, especially in today's day and age with social media etc. that you should be very very slow to confirm what type of person they are. The same applies for men, most men are relatively garbage-tier and get pushed around and deserve to.

To your second paragraph:

Agreed, you never hang around and speak to a woman unless your intention is to be platonic friends only. Far too many women bait men, especially guys that are weak and don't have much experience with women, with merely the possibility of sex and waste literally years of a man's potential and his emotional peace just so she can get her instant dopamine fix b/c she's a dumb hoe with nothing else going on. It's brutal and ruthless really, but that's just biology.

Yeah like I said water seeks it's own level. Every relationship men and women have been in is something that they chose. They were attracted to somebody on their own level. From there, if both are wanting marriage and family then it's their job to show it. There's no way women make it to 30+ and have just dealt with horrible guys who let them down, were cheating, or not husband material, or they just didn't like. It's every woman's job in a relationship who's wanting marriage to show and be her true self on why she should be married. Same for a guy. Guys better have something to offer to be the father of these women's children and husband as well.

Yep I have a Colombian chick that I worked with, cared about on a deep friendship level, and we started hanging out and it was her idea. She never gave me the first damn signal, used the piss out of me for free fun and entertainment, and after a long time of hanging out and being a sucker and paying for everything she hit me with the friendzone talk. We worked together in the same dept which made it worse. I left that company and didn't talk to her about a year, but I genuinely do like her and care for her as a person as does she so we're whatever level of friendship that can be once a guy is rejected and the woman knows he wants to fk her. She's in Colombia now, sending me a text every now in then to wish Merry Christmas, Happy New Year etc. At this point I just give her generic "tu t******". Yeah I care but anything beyond that is a waste of time. I've accepted I will never bang her and appreciate her friendship for whatever I want out of it which is usually just to vent about women lol.