David Goggins explains when you're ready to be in a relationship.

[EnochsProphecy]

cliffs
- you have to be happy with yourself


Do you agree with him?

[Polaris]

I can agree, although something tells me he isn't happy with himself.

Although, I would also question whether one truly happy with themself would even want to bother with a relationship in the first place.

[Muzzlrpress]

Absolutely

[Kev1972]

What if you're only happy fukking sloots?

[syrk]

Love his book but he’s mentally ill

[spazzin]

He’s basically saying until you’re tired of fukkin sloots, stay single. Otherwise you’ll always have FOMO, and ask yourself why you should stay loyal

I agree with him, and I’m a a dumbass settling too early at 27

[Scarrdbutsmartr]

Love his book but he’s mentally ill

This ^^^^...Universally labelled as an insufferable kunt by pretty much every group he has engaged with.....BUT we should definitely take his advice on dating.


Guy is hard as nails but lets not act like he should be giving anybody social advice.

[InsanePain11]

Good post OP thanks.

Goggins is right 100%. You shouldn't rely on others for happiness. Have to get yourself right first. I can relate currently, I want to search for that wifey but I know I'm still fuked up from my last ltr, and I have a lot of stuff to work on about myself. Have to get my career on a better track before I let it go sideways. I can feel that I'm not my true confident self like I used to be, and I need to get that back. Something tells me it's unlikely I'll find the girl I'm looking for until I better myself. Making progress daily but can do better..

[redraider86]

I think that's great advice, and I also think there's something really off about him, and I have never been able to exactly pinpoint why or what it is. I'm glad that others see it too.

[Kev1972]

I think that's great advice, and I also think there's something really off about him, and I have never been able to exactly pinpoint why or what it is. I'm glad that others see it too.

I'm no psychotherapist but I'd venture to say he's got an enormous chip on his shoulder.

[Cass40]

I don't agree. You can never be perfectly happy or "finished", it's just a continuous progress and sometimes you have ups and downs.

[Muzzlrpress]

I don't agree. You can never be perfectly happy or "finished", it's just a continuous progress and sometimes you have ups and downs.

Sloots can't understand.

[redraider86]

I'm no psychotherapist but I'd venture to say he's got an enormous chip on his shoulder.

I've only seen two videos of him, this one and another where he was having a meltdown over some negative feedback. Maybe he's content, I dunno, but I've never seen anyone speak this way who lived a happy life. Knowing about his failed relationships also makes me question his approach.

[Cass40]

Sloots can't understand.

No matter how "finished" you are and perfectly happy, the most horrible tragedy can strike and strip you off your happiness. So what was the point? Life is ups and downs. You work towards bettering your life because that way it's easier when chit hits the fan but there is no finished state of perfect life.

[DSTEE]

Wrong. He is just putting relationship on a pedestal and furthering the distance to a relationship for people who need it. In reality people are good enough as they are, and any kind improvement (and dwindling) can happen while being in one too

If you pass on a good partner because "muh improvement" then LOL

[Cass40]

I've only seen two videos of him, this one and another where he was having a meltdown over some negative feedback. Maybe he's content, I dunno, but I've never seen anyone speak this way who lived a happy life. Knowing about his failed relationships also makes me question his approach.

I don't usually mind cussing at all but I can't listen to him, he's so off putting the way he talks.

[LordBroly]

I think that's great advice, and I also think there's something really off about him, and I have never been able to exactly pinpoint why or what it is. I'm glad that others see it too.

I'm no psychotherapist but I'd venture to say he's got an enormous chip on his shoulder.

This. The guy's father was an aggressive psycho (everyone outside the family thought he was some great family guy meanwhile he was extremely violent and abusive), then he was bullied incessantly in HS because he was one of the only black kids there. So much other stuff like poverty, falling behind academically, the list goes on. The guy hasn't had a pleasant life and it sounds like he had to create this extremely perfectionistic alter ego to cope. I watched a documentary about Herschel Walker, who was also incessantly bullied in his childhood, and in it his psychologist said that he literally created an alter ego to escape his reality.

[nmn]

I ended a relationship for this reason but I don't fully agree. Pick what you want to do and establish yourself, but "finish" is a pipe dream. The feeling of there being more left to do in the world will never go away. Set yourself up so you're in the "game" before wifing up, but whether you're a great scientist, actor, CEO, whatever, you're not gonna hit you're pinnacle until you're 55-60 anyway. I think a good relationship is necessary to even get to the point where you can hit the centre of the bullseye.

[EnochsProphecy]

I can agree, although something tells me he isn't happy with himself.

Although, I would also question whether one truly happy with themself would even want to bother with a relationship in the first place.

Love his book but he’s mentally ill

I think that's great advice, and I also think there's something really off about him, and I have never been able to exactly pinpoint why or what it is. I'm glad that others see it too.

He's just not you.

[Muzzlrpress]

No matter how "finished" you are and perfectly happy, the most horrible tragedy can strike and strip you off your happiness. So what was the point? Life is ups and downs. You work towards bettering your life because that way it's easier when chit hits the fan but there is no finished state of perfect life.

Admittedly I only read the cliffs

[redraider86]

I don't usually mind cussing at all but I can't listen to him, he's so off putting the way he talks.

Cass, he's just not you!

He's just not you.

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Yes, that's the video I was thinking of! I'll say what I said in the other thread about this, he is definitely not me, because I don't curse like a madman, I have not had two? three? divorces, and I do not shirk my responsibilities and make my friends and family wonder if I've died. I don't think those are things to aspire to.

[bfdehewdbyywhn]

you know he’s saying the truth when sloots cry over his words

[Better Unborn]

Dude has self-destructive level of willpower that's respectable as phuq.. but wtf does he know about relationships, etc. srs? I'd listen to what he has to say about determination and achieving your goals, etc.. probably not much else tho.

[Polaris]

Cass, he's just not you!


Yes, that's the video I was thinking of! I'll say what I said in the other thread about this, he is definitely not me, because I don't curse like a madman, I have not had two? three? divorces, and I do not shirk my responsibilities and make my friends and family wonder if I've died. I don't think those are things to aspire to.

Well beyond that - I have a very strong appreciation for discipline, people pushing themselves, etc. but with some of these guys there's a point where them jerking themselves off over how "hardcore" they are just gets cringy, redundant, and obnoxious.

[redraider86]

Well beyond that - I have a very strong appreciation for discipline, people pushing themselves, etc. but with some of these guys there's a point where them jerking themselves off over how "hardcore" they are just gets cringy, redundant, and obnoxious.

Yeah, I think I'm weird there because I actually do appreciate 4:28am GET SOME Instagram posts But that person I'm thinking of also seems to have fulfilling relationships and a handle on their emotions.

[Kewbrah]

I can agree, although something tells me he isn't happy with himself.

100% on both parts.

Firstly, as an old guy who has had happy and miserable relationships, there is no truer truth than the first part. If you aren't happy in yourself then you will be looking to the relationship to fix yourself and it will end in misery.

Secondly, I just finished can't hurt me and (a) it is clear throughout that his journey is one of struggling against the symptoms of ptsd from his abuse and trauma and he is finding ways to cope but only gradually and partially actually facing himself and (b) the book is a building crescendo of his physical achievements in which he just occasionally mentions as asides "she was my wife at the time" and "I was struggling with my divorce at the time" etc etc so clearly none of his self development schtick was evident in his personal relationships.

[syrk]

100% on both parts.

Firstly, as an old guy who has had happy and miserable relationships, there is no truer truth than the first part. If you aren't happy in yourself then you will be looking to the relationship to fix yourself and it will end in misery.

Secondly, I just finished can't hurt me and (a) it is clear throughout that his journey is one of struggling against the symptoms of ptsd from his abuse and trauma and he is finding ways to cope but only gradually and partially actually facing himself and (b) the book is a building crescendo of his physical achievements in which he just occasionally mentions as asides "she was my wife at the time" and "I was struggling with my divorce at the time" etc etc so clearly none of his self development schtick was evident in his personal relationships.

He can work so hard and run for so long he has kidney failure, pisses brown sludge and nearly dies

But can’t put the same effort into his marriage or relationship

[katya422]

100% on both parts.

Firstly, as an old guy who has had happy and miserable relationships, there is no truer truth than the first part. If you aren't happy in yourself then you will be looking to the relationship to fix yourself and it will end in misery.

Secondly, I just finished can't hurt me and (a) it is clear throughout that his journey is one of struggling against the symptoms of ptsd from his abuse and trauma and he is finding ways to cope but only gradually and partially actually facing himself and (b) the book is a building crescendo of his physical achievements in which he just occasionally mentions as asides "she was my wife at the time" and "I was struggling with my divorce at the time" etc etc so clearly none of his self development schtick was evident in his personal relationships.

nailed it.

[Kev1972]

He can work so hard and run for so long he has kidney failure, pisses brown sludge and nearly dies

But can’t put the same effort into his marriage or relationship

any idiot can get rhabdo. Look at all the stupid crossfitters.

[ralphlaurenbrah]

Such bull**** advice, plenty of broken people in relationships way better off in them than without them. Dude is a fuking moron sorry