Dumped out of nowhere.

[mishz]

Keep permanent feelings for permanent people who’ve always been there or those that will be. Not ones that gladly walk out of your life.

Btw, this is so spot on.

[Vertigo5891]

Forgetaboutit! I was seeing a girl for 4 months as well, was great, heaps of chemistry, great company and sex, mutual effort.. then just got that 'vibe' that she was losing interest. I reduced effort, and we didnt end up contacting each other for 2 weeks, for literally no reason. I saw her back on the apps using different names, thought fk her then. She broke NC by 'acknowledging we dropped the ball', i just said i had a feeling she wasnt interested and saw her app aliases so left her alone and moved on. No reply. Seeing a new younger bird shortly after 🤷🏿‍♂️ Fukem bro, dont let them see you sweat.

[mishz]

Just wanted to give an update.

Been 2 months since the breakup, over 1 month NC. When the breakup happened, I was shattered to put it simply, and really going through severe despair. Couldn’t focus on anything and it felt like I wasn’t going to get out the other side for a long tome. I’m still jaded and stung by what happened, but I feel MUCH better now. I still think about her a lot, just on the back of my mind, but it’s becoming less and less. Also, I’m dating a beautiful Japanese girl now (not official gf yet) who is awesome and who I can communicate much better with now, and I don’t constanty feel this girl is just testing me/sizing me up like the other one.

I just wanted to say this for anyone going through something similar: it gets better. Feel the pain, let it sink, let it be, but you’ll get through it. There is always a better girl out there, and any girl is better than one who’d cut you off (especially in a heartless manner).

[BuckNakedinBama]

Thanks for the update OP, glad you're doing well

[goonsondeck]

damn this really does hit home for me

I was w a girl for 2 years we were in love and got married in her religion (not paper)

a few weeks later she broke up w me. It seems sudden but its was on her mind for a while.

I was pretty ****ed up for the first month and she was on my mind for at least the next 6 months - dare I say longer.

But im all good now and met an even better girl. These women that cant commit or bail once the spark is gone are just man eaters and will never be satisfied.

I am grateful for the experience she gave me even though she broke my heart but I realized what type of women to avoid if you want something LTR.

The kicker is she moved onto another guy pretty quickly and im certain that he was in the picture at the tail end of our relo playing his cards. Jokes on him though because shes a whore.

[goonsondeck]

Just wanted to give an update.

Been 2 months since the breakup, over 1 month NC. When the breakup happened, I was shattered to put it simply, and really going through severe despair. Couldn’t focus on anything and it felt like I wasn’t going to get out the other side for a long tome. I’m still jaded and stung by what happened, but I feel MUCH better now. I still think about her a lot, just on the back of my mind, but it’s becoming less and less. Also, I’m dating a beautiful Japanese girl now (not official gf yet) who is awesome and who I can communicate much better with now, and I don’t constanty feel this girl is just testing me/sizing me up like the other one.

I just wanted to say this for anyone going through something similar: it gets better. Feel the pain, let it sink, let it be, but you’ll get through it. There is always a better girl out there, and any girl is better than one who’d cut you off (especially in a heartless manner).

eventually you will just be thankful you had that experience because it just builds your character.

[mishz]

Looks to me like there was no evolution in yours guys's relationship. Did you guys become official? Did you guys become exclusive? Was there a steady increase in the intensity of the emotions being shared? Did you get to learn more about her? Looks to me that this was your standard friends with benefits kind of arrangement. She comes over, you bang her and it ends there. You mentioned trips. Did you guys go on dates often? Did you make her feel special on said dates? Did you guys ever just cuddle and enjoy the moments together? Women are very emotional beings and need to feel special. They gotta be courted. You gotta balance chasing her and living your life. I'm dating a girl right now but I also find time to see my friends and chase my goals in life.

Read your update as well and I'm glad you've been able to move on. However, I think you're jumping way too early into the dating game. I started dating after a year of breaking up with my ex. I essentially started dating when I was ready to do so again. Met a beautiful girl who I am entirely focused on. Just find a girl who's emotionally open to date and a girl who's not gonna put you on a rotation or make you compete with other dudes. You need a girl who's willing to make time for you. Make em feel special and trust me youll be a golden goose. Don't play games with girls and trust me they wont play games with you either. Best of lucks.

Things escalated slowly and quickly at the same time with her, I think in a very good way. We didn't become 'official', but I never make things official verbally in my past relationships, even the very long term ones (5 years), it just becomes understood through actions. To put it plainly, things were going forward in various levels, I was treating her amazing, new experiences, it wasn't just a friends with benefits thing. She dumped me for her personal reasons (another guy probably, or she just didn't like me that much, or maybe I was a rebound).

On the more important note, yes I do think I am jumping into dating too quickly, but consider that this relationship was only 4 months and I am 30 years old. Should I really wait another year just to date? I went on around 10 dates when we broke up, compulsively dating, it was a bit unhealthy but I did it anyways and still miserable, and most chicks I did not like at all and didn't waste my time with on a second date, I just didn't want to stay slumped at home. Through this compulsive dating, and trying to find girls, I did find some girls I like, and as time passed, I started feeling better, less compulsive dating. I mentioned I'm unofficially dating a beautiful girl now, but I'm also dating 3 others, so, I'm not really in anything official, I'm just dating, and if something meaningful comes from any of these options, I'll take it. As mentioned, I'm still not over the break up, even though it was 4 months, but I don't think not dating because it's too soon is the best route for me personally. But to be honest, it kind of sucks going through many dates with girls you don't like after the girl you REALLY liked dumped you.

[fitfinealways]

You seem sweet and you have done nothing wrong. And people assigning you blame her are just doing it out of habit or because they want you to be too conscious of "doing the right thing". Unfortunately there is no dating formula and feelings are uncanny.

May be she is interested in another guy now, may be not. It is possible that her priorities have changed, as you mentioned, she started a master's degree and want it to be the focus of her life and while many people juggle work/study and relationships very well, she may think of this as impediment in her goals. Hence, the pacing issue. May be her feelings have changed.

There is also the possibility, she was just curious about you. Countries that are racially homogenised can have a weird obsession with the exotic. Now that she has dated you, had sex with you, gotten to know you, she has humanised you and therefore you can no longer provide her with the thrill of the unknown.

She is gone now. You can cherish this as a nice chapter in your Tokyo stay that you could reminisce about one day with your friends back home. Move on, don't blame yourself. You gave your best try and you can sleep at night guilt free.