How do I get over the fact i was a bad boyfriend?

[GigaBeta]

Everyone on here ... ALL their ex's hit them up, every single guy on here.. yet my ex never hit me up after she broke up with me..even when the guy she let me for dumped her after a few months. It's because I was a bad boyfriend. I never treated her well or made her feel like she was my girl. Even after years I feel bad about it. I've learnt from the experience and realised i need to treat women better and not take things for granted.
I completely took her for granted. So many things she did for me and i just lapped it all up and gave little in return.


I've made sure to always treat women better in the future but it still hurts to think about even after many years.

What should I do?

[skinnyfat88]

That's not why she doesn't hit you up.
She doesn't hit you up because she lost attraction to you (because you have low self worth).

You'll prob treat a decent women with respect once you find one but your ex didn't respect herself thus you didn't respect her either.

[Ninshark]

Everyone on here ... ALL their ex's hit them up, every single guy on here.. yet my ex never hit me up after she broke up with me..even when the guy she let me for dumped her after a few months. It's because I was a bad boyfriend. I never treated her well or made her feel like she was my girl. Even after years I feel bad about it. I've learnt from the experience and realised i need to treat women better and not take things for granted.
I completely took her for granted. So many things she did for me and i just lapped it all up and gave little in return.


I've made sure to always treat women better in the future but it still hurts to think about even after many years.

What should I do?

If you've already tried and/or succeeded in fixing those problems, but you're still feeling bad about it, it may be time to think about counseling because this is a problem that is coming from within that these changes you're making to yourself don't seem to be able to fix. Therapy will help you come to terms with things that cannot be fixed even if you change. First think about what you've done to get better - are you being truthful to yourself, did you actually make those changes and treat subsequent women better? If so, then yeah, therapy might just be the only way. If not, you may want to reevaluate what you have actually done to be better and see if it were significant or not.

[GigaBeta]

That's not why she doesn't hit you up.
She doesn't hit you up because she lost attraction to you (because you have low self worth).

You'll prob treat a decent women with respect once you find one but your ex didn't respect herself thus you didn't respect her either.

Yea that's a good point, it's hard to make a women feel attracted to you by taking her out and showing her a good time if you don't respect her..

It was difficult to respect my ex due to her poor traits and her lack of self respect herself.

[GigaBeta]

If you've already tried and/or succeeded in fixing those problems, but you're still feeling bad about it, it may be time to think about counseling because this is a problem that is coming from within that these changes you're making to yourself don't seem to be able to fix. Therapy will help you come to terms with things that cannot be fixed even if you change. First think about what you've done to get better - are you being truthful to yourself, did you actually make those changes and treat subsequent women better? If so, then yeah, therapy might just be the only way. If not, you may want to reevaluate what you have actually done to be better and see if it were significant or not.

Thank you, i think it's just hard for me to accept i misstreated someone i genuinely cared for and they cared for me. But it's okay it's been a long time and each day i get better no contact has helped. We didn't even date for that long but she really left a mark on me.

[GigaBeta]

That's not why she doesn't hit you up.
She doesn't hit you up because she lost attraction to you (because you have low self worth).

You'll prob treat a decent women with respect once you find one but your ex didn't respect herself thus you didn't respect her either.

I thought ex's hit their ex's up becaus they treated them well and miss the comfort etc?

Isn't that the entire point? they lost attraction and saw the grass was greener elsewhere only to realise it wasn't and they had it pretty well alrady?

[skinnyfat88]

I thought ex's hit their ex's up becaus they treated them well and miss the comfort etc?

Isn't that the entire point? they lost attraction and saw the grass was greener elsewhere only to realise it wasn't and they had it pretty well alrady?

That can happen but she seems to get comfort from a quick lay so doesn't need emotional comfort from you. Plus she knows if she gives you an inch you'll take a mile and bombard her so it's not worth it. She will only ever reach out if it seems like you may truly be over her.

[dolvioblue]

That can happen but she seems to get comfort from a quick lay so doesn't need emotional comfort from you. Plus she knows if she gives you an inch you'll take a mile and bombard her so it's not worth it. She will only ever reach out if it seems like you may truly be over her.

Why are we having a conversation with sandman? He’s destroyed this forum.

[MirinCanadian99]

Oh look its sandman again. This time he's using another angle to his pathetic little story.

Shame on the miscers that actually responded to you.