Wife and I have been married for 3.5 years.
Outside of lifting weights, I also play hockey two nights per week on two different adult rec teams. The leagues are non-contact. A friend of mine who was at our house last Sunday and who I played hockey with on Monday night just told me he tested positive for COVID. A few months ago another teammate tested positive for COVID. I went and got a test the day I found out and tested negative. I'm now trying to get tested again. Outside of hockey, both our workplaces have had positive COVID cases.
Wife asked me to stop going to hockey and I said I wouldn't stop. I love playing hockey and don't see that it is any more of a risk than leaving the house and going into the office. Wife is now pissed and is talking about how I care more about playing hockey than about exposing her to COVID-19 risk. That isn't true and I understand I am taking a risk but try to do what I can to minimize the risk. To me, anytime either one of us leaves our house and are around others were are taking a risk. Keep in mind, we both go into our respective offices for work voluntarily (both our offices are allowing remote work) and just today she went and sat in a public coffee shop for several hours without a mask.
Am I wrong here? Should I agree to stop playing hockey?
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11-21-2020, 04:42 PM #1
Wife and I had a fight about COVID exposure risks
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11-21-2020, 04:43 PM #2
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11-21-2020, 04:47 PM #3
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11-21-2020, 04:49 PM #4
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11-21-2020, 04:51 PM #5
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11-21-2020, 04:52 PM #6
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11-21-2020, 05:58 PM #7
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11-21-2020, 06:31 PM #8
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11-21-2020, 07:01 PM #9
Hmmm this seems tricky. Women run on emotions where as men run on logic. Explaining the logic of covid and stats won’t go over well if she is just believing the media and scare bs. Would she have acted the same way about your hockey and if you had a flu outbreak last year?
Sounds like she’s maybe personally unhappy about what covid and the change in life has done to her happiness or she’s unhappy with you about other stuff.
I say have a talk and then don’t give in and do what you want. She’ll respect you less and less if you let her tell you what you will and will not do. Next year it might be less and less hockey for you bc you went without it during covid so you don’t love her if you need to go back to playing it that many times per week again. So yeah it makes no sense that this is the real issue. Divorce rates are at an all time high, so it’s not illogical that she’s just unhappy and searching for something to bitch about.
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11-21-2020, 07:10 PM #10
Sorry to sound a little harsh here but there is a reason the USA is the worst country in the world for Covid. It’s not just about giving it to your wife... it’s about you getting it, others getting it from you, others getting it from them and so on... your mindset is a little selfish at this time.
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11-21-2020, 08:14 PM #11
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11-21-2020, 08:23 PM #12
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11-21-2020, 08:25 PM #13
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11-21-2020, 09:17 PM #14
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11-21-2020, 09:35 PM #15
I'd respect your wife's preferences to the extent that you will come to a compromise. You can reason with her about not quitting, but reduce the amount of games you participate in. Also, you can be more mindful while you're out. Think of all the small things you do outside that might be increasing your risk, giving high 5s, close proximity in changing room, passing drinks around? Cut back on some of those things and each time you do, tell your wife to keep her happy so that she can trust you more while you continue playing hockey. Since you guys are married, her preferences are NOT to be ignored.
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11-22-2020, 05:08 AM #16
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11-23-2020, 09:36 AM #17
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11-23-2020, 09:43 AM #18
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11-23-2020, 09:52 AM #19
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11-23-2020, 04:26 PM #20
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If she gave two chits about you she would have asked you about it and not demanded anything in the first place.
Her respect for you is the first and main issue, not what either of you are doing.USMC 0311
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11-25-2020, 05:48 AM #21
YOu have a hobby that you love that doesn't involve her. She wants you to end it so you can be miserable like she is at home.
It has nothing to do with Covid, but the fact that you're away from her. Women HATE when men have hobbies that don't include them.[Dallas Cowboys][Dallas Mavericks][Texas Rangers][TCU*NCAA][DFW Crew]
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11-25-2020, 01:11 PM #22
She sounds retarded.
If she does anything beside work and buy groceries once a week she is exposing you to risk. If she can work from home and doesn’t, she is exposing you to risk.
Lol at going to a coffee place while trying to forbid you to play hockey. Strong selfish woman.Real Madrid, Miami Heat, New York Jets.
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11-25-2020, 02:00 PM #23
Immature tactics by her. She's trying to control you brah. Clearly she's being hypocritical.
Women often times test out their power like this. If you keep playing hockey she may escalate her anger. In reality she's likely unhappy about more issues and is gaslighting arguments.
From my view, the best play here is to remain calm and respectful but to hold your ground. Don't get super pissed and start a yelling match (I've done this and it always backfires). Explain your view calmly and explain why it's important for your happiness to keep playing. If she causes a huge issue over this (while going out to coffee/work/public places hypocritically) stay calm and she will realize her faults in this situation eventually. Keep in mind if she's stubborn she'll never want to admit you're right and that you're being fair.
Do you guys have any kids?
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11-25-2020, 07:24 PM #24
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11-25-2020, 10:07 PM #25
How did she feel about your hockey pre-COVID?
Did she encourage you to play? Wish you good luck before you went and ask you how it was when you got home? Did she ever go watch you?
Or did she become distant the hours leading up to you going and/or constantly make suggestions on things you two could do instead on nights you had hockey and suggest it was not a big deal for you to miss it for whatever she suggested?
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11-25-2020, 10:19 PM #26
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12-10-2020, 12:37 AM #27
I agree with you about her. You do not have to stop playing hockey if she does not stop going outside. If there are so many people around you being positively tested, maybe you have a strong immune system or you have already got the virus without any signs? I do not know. My daughter is in one of the daycare centers in Brooklyn - littlescholarsnyc.com among other kids. And I should say that they do not have any positive case since July, I guess. Of course, they provide a high level of the healthcare system, they check every kid three times a day and do not allow parents to come in. But it still seems unbelievable.
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