Asking a girl out when others are around?

[jazzadude96]

UPDATE!

Hi all,
She was there tonight.
I aimed to get there earlier but there was traffic so I ended up getting there just on time.
But I parked further away and managed to strike up a convo about her new job for about 2 minutes.
We stopped walking to talk face to face, not walking and talk.
She was giving eye contact, as was I and she asked me about my car (before I forgot where I parked).
A lot happier this week but do you think I have a chance?

[EctoPlasmic217]

a reminder of my life-long hatred, resentment towards the status-quo, that society dictates its the guys role to ask the girl out

[dolvioblue]

UPDATE!

Hi all,
She was there tonight.
I aimed to get there earlier but there was traffic so I ended up getting there just on time.
But I parked further away and managed to strike up a convo about her new job for about 2 minutes.
We stopped walking to talk face to face, not walking and talk.
She was giving eye contact, as was I and she asked me about my car (before I forgot where I parked).
A lot happier this week but do you think I have a chance?

You’re asking a bunch of people that don’t know you or her if you have a chance with her because she was nice and stopped to talk to you. It’s been weeks of this. My thoughts are she just sees you as a friend now because you have taken way too long to ask her out. That being said, I would have asked her out by now. If you are this scared to ask someone for coffee then you will not only fail with women in your life but in many aspects which require risk taking.

This is not me being a jerk but rather encouraging you to just go for it. You literally have nothing to lose. You’re not going to die and neither is she. Go for it.

[Ninshark]

nope, you still didn't ask her out, already told you that the longer time passes where nothing happens, the lower the chance. I've been behind your back this whole time, but it's been too long now. I see that you're making progress, such as trying and managing to talk to her 1-1, which is good, so go build up your confidence and use this as a learning exp for the next girl.

Obviously there's still a chance for anything, but purposefully letting your chances go down is just screwing yourself over. That's why I wasn't willing to wait until I graduate and my ex is 35 to have kids because increasing chances of unhealthy baby is just screwing myself over. Give yourself the best chance, don't purposefully lower it!

[jazzadude96]

Hi all, thanks for the replies.

Yep I’m doing it this week. I got to take the shot and this week is when I’m going to do it.

It’s not going to be a ‘date’ but more of a ‘hangout’ where we get coffee or something.
A proper date will hopefully come later.

[ShobzLifts]

JUST DO IT

Don't let your dreams be dreams!

[dolvioblue]

Hi all, thanks for the replies.

Yep I’m doing it this week. I got to take the shot and this week is when I’m going to do it.

It’s not going to be a ‘date’ but more of a ‘hangout’ where we get coffee or something.
A proper date will hopefully come later.

So not ask her to hang out... this is what friends do. Ask her if she’s into dinner sometime.

[elterrible987]

Ask her next time you see her, now you have an easy starting point to a conversation.

If people are ALWAYS around, atleast try to get some more time talking with her. Worse case you could ask her on whats app but she has to know who the hell you are.

OP you cuck you had the perfect opening conversation and didnt use it. now shes going to wonder why the silent weirdo shes seen for the last 3 months is making movies on her. inb4 friendzoned

[sowilson]

Hi, she doesn’t have ******** or Instagram.
Do you mean message her directly?

YES EXACTLY. Geese what do you think we use to do before the Internet and mobile phones?????? We called, or passed a note, or asked the person directly. This isn't rocket science, just ask her out already. Don't overthink this stuff.

[jazzadude96]

Hi all! UPDATE!
So I did it...I asked her out for a coffee and she said yes I said these exact words “did you want to grab a coffee sometime” and she said yeah sure (no hesitation or anything). I then asked for her phone number and then she said just get it in the whatsapp group (I knew that but I wanted her to give it to me).
The only problem is that no definite plans have been made to meet up. She said just text her and we can organise it that way. She has work in the morning so she was in a bit of a rush to leave (it was 9:15pm).
I don’t know how to take this and when I should organise to meet up (she is busy Saturday so I was thinking Sunday arvo).

Any advice??

[dolvioblue]

Hi all! UPDATE!
So I did it...I asked her out for a coffee and she said yes I said these exact words “did you want to grab a coffee sometime” and she said yeah sure (no hesitation or anything). I then asked for her phone number and then she said just get it in the whatsapp group (I knew that but I wanted her to give it to me).
The only problem is that no definite plans have been made to meet up. She said just text her and we can organise it that way. She has work in the morning so she was in a bit of a rush to leave (it was 9:15pm).
I don’t know how to take this and when I should organise to meet up (she is busy Saturday so I was thinking Sunday arvo).

Any advice??

Switch it to a evening drink. Get out of the friend zone... make your intentions clear so there is no confusion for her.

[jazzadude96]

Switch it to a evening drink. Get out of the friend zone... make your intentions clear so there is no confusion for her.

I understand where your coming from to get out of the friend zone but she doesn’t drink alcohol. And I don’t either really.

What about a coffee late in the afternoon (3pm) when the place I was thinking of closes at 5pm. That way if things are going well we can move to a nearby restaurant for dinner.

[dolvioblue]

I understand where your coming from to get out of the friend zone but she doesn’t drink alcohol. And I don’t either really.

What about a coffee late in the afternoon (3pm) when the place I was thinking of closes at 5pm. That way if things are going well we can move to a nearby restaurant for dinner.

Your intent is there but I would't go for a coffee date expecting to make it a 5 hour event with dinner. If neither of you drink alcohol as if she wants to go for taco's or something like that. Chicks love appies and things like tacos... Either pick coffee in the day or dinner but not both. Maybe just go for coffee and don't act like a friend and if you are enjoying the chat part ways after an hour and then leave it at that. Then call her and ask her to dinner.

There is one part that make me think you're in the friend zone and it's when she said "you can get my number off WhatsApp"...

Question for you... are both of you very young and maybe new to dating? Why the no alcohol? Is she Asian? Does she still live with her parents?

[jazzadude96]

Your intent is there but I would't go for a coffee date expecting to make it a 5 hour event with dinner. If neither of you drink alcohol as if she wants to go for taco's or something like that. Chicks love appies and things like tacos... Either pick coffee in the day or dinner but not both. Maybe just go for coffee and don't act like a friend and if you are enjoying the chat part ways after an hour and then leave it at that. Then call her and ask her to dinner.

There is one part that make me think you're in the friend zone and it's when she said "you can get my number off WhatsApp"...

Question for you... are both of you very young and maybe new to dating? Why the no alcohol? Is she Asian? Does she still live with her parents?

Thanks for the advice.

With the whatsapp thing, I am hoping that it was just because she was in a hurry to get home. I would have to sell myself when we meetup if I am in the friendzone.

I am 24 and very inexperienced. I had confidence issues in the past due to me having braces so that has stopped me putting myself out there and dating. I now have no braces and have started lifting.

She is 25 and not sure of her history. Not sure why she doesn't drink either. Lol and not asian and to my knowledge still lives with parents.

[Ninshark]

ok glad you finally did something, have you been texting her? You need to show interest now or else she's going to be thinking - he waited all this time to ask me out, and now he's not even texting? and then she's going to put you on the back burner.

switching to evening drink is a good idea, but if it can't be done, I don't think your AM coffee break is bad. just go with that, don't switch things up, esp if you're inexperienced. Just stick with the plan and see where it goes. Never know, you might even get a lunch date out of it at the end if you ask her what plans she has for the rest of the day. And then you can take her somewhere cool for the afternoon. If miraculously there's chemistry, it could turn into a whole-day thing, but since she's busy, you prob won't get that far. never know..

[skinnyfat88]

You asked her for coffee so I'd stick with the coffee. Don't necessarily try to drag it out into the evening unless she suggests it or it's obvious she is dying to continue the date.
At the end of the coffee date if you think it went well ask her for dinner next time. Try not to overthink it. My only advice would be to not come on too strong by texting her all the time (if she initiates then you can roll with it but still try to limit it), or trying to setup too many dates too often (1-2x per week is plenty at the beginning), and definitely do not buy her flowers or gifts early on.

It's great you're putting yourself out there man. Best of luck.

[legbroke]

You asked her for coffee so I'd stick with the coffee. Don't necessarily try to drag it out into the evening unless she suggests it or it's obvious she is dying to continue the date.
At the end of the coffee date if you think it went well ask her for dinner next time. Try not to overthink it. My only advice would be to not come on too strong by texting her all the time (if she initiates then you can roll with it but still try to limit it), or trying to setup too many dates too often (1-2x per week is plenty at the beginning), and definitely do not buy her flowers or gifts early on.

It's great you're putting yourself out there man. Best of luck.

Feel like this covers everything well for you OP

[jazzadude96]

Hi all! Another update.

So I texted her to meetup this afternoon and she said “I’m a bit busy today. Can we do it another day?” and I responded with “all good, next weekend if your free”.

Not sure about this response.

[jazzadude96]

Hi all! Another update.

So I texted her to meetup this afternoon and she said “I’m a bit busy today. Can we do it another day?” and I responded with “all good, next weekend if your free”.

Not sure about this response.

Ohh she also said that meeting up sounds great.

[Ninshark]

Ohh she also said that meeting up sounds great.

you made a good response, doesn't sound promising, you can't do anything about it.

[jazzadude96]

The text goes exactly like this:
“That sounds great but I’m a bit busy today and have a few things on. Can we do it another day?”
I replied with “All good, yeah next weekend if your free?”
I have not got a reply for this message.

Now to be honest and as much as everyone here said to text her ASAP, I probably did put her on the spot. I texted her at 10:15am to meet up at 3pm the same day but she could of made alternative times...

[jazzadude96]

you made a good response, doesn't sound promising, you can't do anything about it.

By good response do you mean she could be interested?

[sam212]

By good response do you mean she could be interested?

You ain’t going nowhere with this son, you’re far too invested and this girl is being polite to you because you’re in her circle. I’d be surprised if anything comes out of it. Your game is incredibly weak. Just don’t text her, you already asked her about the weekend. Just let her reply. Don’t say anything at all. She’ll either commit (although she’s likely to back out at last moment) or she’ll tell you she’s busy, which really means not a available.

[jazzadude96]

WTF!
So woke up in the middle of the night and found that she replied to my message!
She wrote “Saturday or Sunday? 😊**”.
So I could still have a chance here ?

(** = blushing emoji)

[dolvioblue]

WTF!
So woke up in the middle of the night and found that she replied to my message!
She wrote “Saturday or Sunday? 😊**”.
So I could still have a chance here ?

(** = blushing emoji)

Dude, I’m going to say in a friendly way that you need to calm down a little. I know you don’t have much experience but you’re acting like a 15 year old virgin... and I say this in a laughing way.

Nobody but her knows if you have a chance but you need to start acting like you do. If it were me I would say Saturday night for appetizers some place. This is a date. You need to show her a cool confident side or she’s going to look at you like a 15 year old virgin who’s never been on a date before. Just relax a little

If she bails again then you have no shot and I’d leave her alone.

Good luck.

[dolvioblue]

a pussy

stfu

[jazzadude96]

Dude, I’m going to say in a friendly way that you need to calm down a little. I know you don’t have much experience but you’re acting like a 15 year old virgin... and I say this in a laughing way.

Nobody but her knows if you have a chance but you need to start acting like you do. If it were me I would say Saturday night for appetizers some place. This is a date. You need to show her a cool confident side or she’s going to look at you like a 15 year old virgin who’s never been on a date before. Just relax a little

If she bails again then you have no shot and I’d leave her alone.

Good luck.

Haha Yeah man I agree. I do sound like a loser.

I wasn’t expecting a reply from her so I was just surprised.

But nothing is confirmed until it actually happens so I can’t get my hopes up.

[S0LID]

As I said, the correct move was to text her and keep it simple (IT SAVES SO MUCH TIME OPPOSED TO MESSING ABOUT). She's said "yes" but it's still really hard to tell where her head is at. You can either ask for a phone call (or just do it) and have a chat, then set up a date time or continue over text message. The only thing you need to do is be yourself AKA chat like you're chatting with a friend, then SHOW INTEREST. Once you get your answer always act dignified and polite. DO NOT RAP YOUR HEAD UP IN TECHNIQUE OR PERFORMANCE, only chat as normal and show interest.

[Ninshark]

By good response do you mean she could be interested?

nope, I was saying that your response was good, not her response. and by good, I mean, there's nothing better you could've done. but now that I know you texted and asked her the same day, that's was fkin stupid bro. well w/e man, make all your mistakes on this girl, and then learn and don't do it again next time.

[dolvioblue]

As I said, the correct move was to text her and keep it simple (IT SAVES SO MUCH TIME OPPOSED TO MESSING ABOUT). She's said "yes" but it's still really hard to tell where her head is at. You can either ask for a phone call (or just do it) and have a chat, then set up a date time or continue over text message. The only thing you need to do is be yourself AKA chat like you're chatting with a friend, then SHOW INTEREST. Once you get your answer always act dignified and polite. DO NOT RAP YOUR HEAD UP IN TECHNIQUE OR PERFORMANCE, only chat as normal and show interest.

Yes this.