Give me your most brutal advice (red pill? black pill?) on how to find good men, misc

[Joseph1990]

lol OP you can't be serious. WTF do you even bring to the table other than a vagina to smash?

You've already disqualified yourself from any guy that doesn't already have kids. But you also don't want to marry, so there goes almost any serious man.
Also LOL at economically liberal, but socially conservative. Ass-backward as hell.

All this^

You're basically only going to find that neckbeard, reddit, fedora tipping, died hair incels check these boxes.

[Nicklol]

go for the quiet guy

not the loud guy whos raising his voice, putting down his fellow man and bragging about his dink in public

women always pick the second guy

cons: might seem awkward at first

pros: strong relationship once you get past that awkwardness and wont cheat cuz he doesnt party and has too much anxiety to cold approach girls. Dating apps are always there for them though

[anonymous]

The guys at work, if they go out of their way to talk to you, they're very likely interested and hoping for a sign to continue. If you're interested in any of them, you gotta conquer your fear and go for it.

Like another poster said, hang around somewhere with a bunch of dudes and they WILL approach. Just remember to make yourself approachable. Smile and dress well. That's it. The anxiety is the main thing fukking you over. Just gotta deal with the fear and jump in the deep end.

Do any of your girlfriends invite you out? If so, stop turning them down. You're only messing with your own long term happiness.

Raj is also right. You look autism.

Loled at "You look autism." I thought my real life friends were just trolling me when they mentioned it but apparently not.

Thanks for the advice. I signed up for therapy to deal with my social anxiety so hopefully when life goes back to normal, I'll have fixed myself enough to be more comfortable doing social things.

[Adam16121]

do not do casual sex

So how many “OMG, you know, I never do this” nights does that add up to?

[littlemissy]

Not wanting marriage doesn't mean I don't want long term companionship; I simply do not want to subscribe to the institution, that's all.

I am a good cook and I like cooking. When I like someone, I prioritize their happiness and taking care of them becomes as important to me as my own happiness. I think I am easy to talk to and I have a lot of love to give. I am loyal and honest. Those are my good qualities.

I'm there with you on the marriage bit unless it's a business transaction where I'm benefiting (sounds worse than it is - I just have a lot to lose) otherwise I enjoy long term companionship like you do.

What are some of the qualities you look for in a man? I think that would help narrow down to 'where to look'.

EX: Do you want a guy that .. enjoys cooking as much as you do and learning new things? (take group cooking classes - they're actually pretty fun)

Also.. parachute dresses are not the business.. please at least look like you care about the way you dress.

[Muzzlrpress]

What is parachute dress?

[littlemissy]

What is parachute dress?

It's not flattering.. they're very loose fitting literally one step away borderline moo moos..

[PepperedAngus]

Flaws: Economically liberal; slightly socially conservative; would call myself a social democrat who appreciates certain aspects of dictatorship and communism;

fixed that for you. Those arent good qualities.

[anonymous]

Whats your actual age tho

Almost 35.

go for the quiet guy

not the loud guy whos raising his voice, putting down his fellow man and bragging about his dink in public

women always pick the second guy

cons: might seem awkward at first

pros: strong relationship once you get past that awkwardness and wont cheat cuz he doesnt party and has too much anxiety to cold approach girls. Dating apps are always there for them though

I am naturally attracted to the quiet guys anyway. I have never dated the loud guy. But it turns out quiet doesn't mean decent character.

So how many “OMG, you know, I never do this” nights does that add up to?

I am not promiscuous and I don't judge those who are as long as it's consensual and no one is lying to anyone.

I'm there with you on the marriage bit unless it's a business transaction where I'm benefiting (sounds worse than it is - I just have a lot to lose) otherwise I enjoy long term companionship like you do.

What are some of the qualities you look for in a man? I think that would help narrow down to 'where to look'.

EX: Do you want a guy that .. enjoys cooking as much as you do and learning new things? (take group cooking classes - they're actually pretty fun)

Also.. parachute dresses are not the business.. please at least look like you care about the way you dress.

I don't care if a guy doesn't like cooking, I like feeding people. I want a guy who's kind, and smart, and not a big party animal, preferably one who likes reading. Definitely someone who's a bit of homebody like me so we can chill together and spend hours talking about things. My only physical deal breaker is being fat. Maybe a little overweight but rolls and stuff, I can't do.

[Legz422]

Cliffs

Age: P-Wally would be disgust
Sloot levels: 5 relationships: longest is 4 years; engaged once but called off wedding because guy was a serial cheater and liar; only really loved 2 people; do not do casual sex
Attractiveness: In decent shape; average facial attractiveness; well-educated; have a decent job
Flaws: LDAR tendencies (have not left house in 8 months); do not want kids ever; do not want marriage either; neurotic about cleaning; can be overly sentimental but also detached; some trust issues...obviously others that I am not self aware about
General facts: Economically liberal; slightly socially conservative; would call myself a social democrat who appreciates certain aspects of dictatorship and communism; African
Goals: To be happy; maybe publish a book or two before I die
Hobbies: Reading and writing and day dreaming

Questions:

How do I find good guys? How to know if a guy is interested? How to show interest myself? What can I do to improve? Should I just ldar for life?

U Wot M8?

[CodyZellery]

This is your future OP.

[anonymous]

This is your future OP.

I guess it's a good thing I like cats then.

[Muzzlrpress]

Almost 35.


I am naturally attracted to the quiet guys anyway. I have never dated the loud guy. But it turns out quiet doesn't mean decent character.


I am not promiscuous and I don't judge those who are as long as it's consensual and no one is lying to anyone.



I don't care if a guy doesn't like cooking, I like feeding people. I want a guy who's kind, and smart, and not a big party animal, preferably one who likes reading. Definitely someone who's a bit of homebody like me so we can chill together and spend hours talking about things. My only physical deal breaker is being fat. Maybe a little overweight but rolls and stuff, I can't do.

Your type is also the least likely to approach. Misc is filled with *******s.....I mean quiet, unassuming guys like this. Might as well make a strong online dating profile.

Tell me you at least have an online profile.

[anonymous]

What is parachute dress?

No, do not have an online dating profile. I have considered it but from what people have told me, it sounds like a hookup place and that's not what I am looking for.

[Muzzlrpress]

No, do not have an online dating profile. I have considered it but from what people have told me, it sounds like a hookup place and that's not what I am looking for.

It is, but you're in a unique spot that will make chit harder for you. May as well expand your options.

[Better Unborn]

OP, you can probably find your fellow LDAR chad playing WOW or some chit.

- guaranteed to wanna stay at home and not cheat on you
- probably has the same views as you (reddit brainwashing, etc.)
- gonna be happy just having a gf, not bother with marriage/kids

[Muzzlrpress]

OP, you can probably find your fellow LDAR chad playing WOW or some chit.

- guaranteed to wanna stay at home and not cheat on you
- probably has the same views as you (reddit brainwashing, etc.)
- gonna be happy just having a gf, not bother with marriage/kids

True

[TBO1313]

lol OP you can't be serious. WTF do you even bring to the table other than a vagina to smash?

You've already disqualified yourself from any guy that doesn't already have kids. But you also don't want to marry, so there goes almost any serious man.
Also LOL at economically liberal, but socially conservative. Ass-backward as hell.

Agreed. Gonna be hard to find a long term man who doesn't want marriage or kids. The guys who don't want marriage or kids don't wanna be with just one woman either.

I don't agree about the political stuff. There are a lot of people who are socially conservative and don't agree with libertarian economics. If there was an American party who was socially conservative and economically centrist they'd get a chit ton of votes in poor conservative states. The reason the Dems do bad in the south has nothing to do with economics

[Adam16121]

I am not promiscuous and I don't judge those who are as long as it's consensual and no one is lying to anyone.



I don't care if a guy doesn't like cooking, I like feeding people. I want a guy who's kind, and smart, and not a big party animal, preferably one who likes reading. Definitely someone who's a bit of homebody like me so we can chill together and spend hours talking about things. My only physical deal breaker is being fat. Maybe a little overweight but rolls and stuff, I can't do.

I’d start by focusing on qualities that you like, rather than qualities you don’t. If you want a homebody who is well read, look for somebody who you can talk to about books you enjoy. It should be an easy way to meet somebody who you have stuff in common with, without coming off as your average basic sloot with a list of standards. The standards often follow interests anyway, or become irrelevant in the long run (bodies change and so do people). Also, good character is never a guarantee.

[Omnivium]

-be decent looking
-go outside

That's literally all women have to do

[Jestbrah]

you literally sound like 90% of single women in their mid 20s or early 30s.

Willing to bet there have been some exceptions to that "no casual sex" rule a few times.

[Nicklol]

[katya422]

This may be true. One of my male colleagues who's my friend said I look like a nun because I always wear parachute dresses. Not always but a lot of the time. They are comfortable.

Yeah, that's not it.

yeah you dress like a pleb aswell then, the basics of women dressing is tight on one half and loose on the other half, meaning if you wear a loose shirt then wear tight pants and vice versa, in general it is better to wear tighter stuff on the lower half and looser on upper because if you wear loose pants you look like a hipster

loose bottom really only works well with dresses (then you need a tight top)

you need to femininitymaxx srs, i gave you enough points to improve now

Surprisingly accurate. A miscer that might actually like women vs. hate 'em, but wanna get laid.

No, do not have an online dating profile. I have considered it but from what people have told me, it sounds like a hookup place and that's not what I am looking for.

I relate to your take on online dating.

I'm probably just as lame in this area or even worse. That said I would suggest dressing with a bit more individuality.

Doesn't have to be slooty or a lot of $$$, just coordinated and thought about. I get compliments on what I wear pretty often from men, women, and, yes, sometimes kids. I like cute/funny graphic tees w/jeans and faux Chucks or sometimes flattering dresses. Something as minor as matching your sneakers w/the color of your tee can draw positive attention.

Chances are there is a style of some type that you are drawn to or that is flattering for your figure.

[mesobuild]

You need to be better than the other girls.

Most people want a standard traditional life.

[CodyZellery]

I guess it's a good thing I like cats then.

Sorry, but at 35 your chances to find a good guy are slim. Should have thought about it sooner.

[Muzzlrpress]

You mirin?

[propreffered7]

OP, you can probably find your fellow LDAR chad playing WOW or some chit.

- guaranteed to wanna stay at home and not cheat on you
- probably has the same views as you (reddit brainwashing, etc.)
- gonna be happy just having a gf, not bother with marriage/kids

Yea. Op sounds quiet as fuk

Gurantee she thinks the problem is worse than it is.

She needs to flirt a lil bit and she'll have the opposite problem (too many dudes) in a week

[LordBroly]

All the major ones have been said. Definitely not wanting kids and a traditional marriage is going to make it hard to find and lock down a decent dude. Your social anxiety isn't doing you any favors either, but at least you say you're seeking therapy to help overcome it. GL with the therapy.

How did you end up like this srs? Most Africans, as I'm sure you know, are raised to have pretty traditional values and views when it comes to things like parenthood (especially for women). My family was not that way, however. Where are you from/did you grow up?

[FrankGrimes29]

All the major ones have been said. Definitely not wanting kids and a traditional marriage is going to make it hard to find and lock down a decent dude. Your social anxiety isn't doing you any favors either, but at least you say you're seeking therapy to help overcome it. GL with the therapy.

How did you end up like this srs? Most Africans, as I'm sure you know, are raised to have pretty traditional values and views when it comes to things like parenthood (especially for women). My family was not that way, however. Where are you from/did you grow up?

This. No kids and no marriage? Mix that with your other hobbies and tendencies, I couldn't find one guy for you that you'd like. All the masculine men I know want to get married and want kids.

Good night sweet prince. Gonna have to be the black silencespeaks.

[Ken-O]

Almost 35.

How high are your standards? If you are looking for the good looking in shape succesfull guy, you are going to be competing with girls in their mid 20's, so we better start there. What are your expectations?


If you are down to earth, you may find a companion for life that may aling with your personality, i just hope you arent expecting the type of guy that the rest of women are attracted to as well