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  1. #1
    Registered User NissanskylineN1's Avatar
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    Question Torn between settling or not

    Hey guys,
    Im stuck in a dilemma and was wondering if the counsel of misc could help me out.

    I’ve been dating my gf for the past 2.5 years. She’s probably a 6.5/10 on the misc. attractiveness scale (gummy smile but cute w/ great body). She’s a year younger and just graduated without a job. However she’s been with me through thick and thin and is a phenomenal supportive partner to me. She’s never freaked out at me or even yelled at me when I’ve done dumb **** (text and drive while she’s there, flirt with girls, etc.). Even if she’s not feeling it, she puts out if I’m craving some. Basically 10/10 personality and have great chemistry together.

    However, all my friends and buddies tell me that I can do better in terms of a more attractive girl with a better career. They tell me that I’m settling, but they’re also single themselves. They say that I can probably pull a more attractive girl, and to break up with my current one and not settle. But finding one that is attractive with a decent/not dead end career is hard especially at my age. I’ve looked on Hinge and it’s filled with garbage. Either whales, tall chicks, or mediocre chicks. The best I match with are like a 7/10 with an “average” career in an entry level position - more than half of them can’t hold a conversation

    I’m now torn because my GF is phenomenal and supporting and I know I mean the world to her. However I also don’t know if I can actually do better and find a better girl than what I have now.

    Im in my mid low 20s, 6’1”, make low 6 figures working 9-5. Im attracted to white chicks only but being middle eastern doesn’t make it easy to match with them.

    What is your guys’ advice?
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  2. #2
    Registered User DustinTheHuss's Avatar
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    Strong used car salesman.
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  3. #3
    Registered User skinnyfat88's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by NissanskylineN1 View Post
    She’s never freaked out at me or even yelled at me when I’ve done dumb **** (text and drive while she’s there, flirt with girls, etc.).

    I’ve looked on Hinge and it’s filled with garbage. Either whales, tall chicks, or mediocre chicks. The best I match with are like a 7/10 with an “average” career in an entry level position.

    I’m now torn because my GF is phenomenal and supporting and I know I mean the world to her. However I also don’t know if I can actually do better and find a better girl than what I have now.
    Sounds like you'll jump ship/cheat if you get a chance with someone a bit hotter.

    I suggest breakup now before doing something stupid and if the grass isn't greener you can attempt to get her back (which wouldn't be possible if she's a quality girl and you cheat or dump her for someone else).
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  4. #4
    Registered User dolvioblue's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by NissanskylineN1 View Post
    Hey guys,
    Im stuck in a dilemma and was wondering if the counsel of misc could help me out.

    I’ve been dating my gf for the past 2.5 years. She’s probably a 6.5/10 on the misc. attractiveness scale (gummy smile but cute w/ great body). She’s a year younger and just graduated without a job. However she’s been with me through thick and thin and is a phenomenal supportive partner to me. She’s never freaked out at me or even yelled at me when I’ve done dumb **** (text and drive while she’s there, flirt with girls, etc.). Even if she’s not feeling it, she puts out if I’m craving some. Basically 10/10 personality and have great chemistry together.

    However, all my friends and buddies tell me that I can do better in terms of a more attractive girl with a better career. They tell me that I’m settling, but they’re also single themselves. They say that I can probably pull a more attractive girl, and to break up with my current one and not settle. But finding one that is attractive with a decent/not dead end career is hard especially at my age. I’ve looked on Hinge and it’s filled with garbage. Either whales, tall chicks, or mediocre chicks. The best I match with are like a 7/10 with an “average” career in an entry level position - more than half of them can’t hold a conversation

    I’m now torn because my GF is phenomenal and supporting and I know I mean the world to her. However I also don’t know if I can actually do better and find a better girl than what I have now.

    Im in my mid low 20s, 6’1”, make low 6 figures working 9-5. Im attracted to white chicks only but being middle eastern doesn’t make it easy to match with them.

    What is your guys’ advice?
    Used car guy for sure... You are going to ruin this woman's life when you eventually cheat on her.
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  5. #5
    Registered User Ninshark's Avatar
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    chemistry is kinda hard to find, and so is supportive women. Nowadays, many women (esp the hot ones) are superficial and entitled. You won't be able to easily find that chemistry and support elsewhere. Is a 6.5 really that bad? That's above average isn't it? I bet she's really cute, and you'd be making a big mistake. really think this over in your head because if you really get brainwashed by your buds thand start believing that you can and really want a more attractive gf, then it's time to break it off. My suggestion is to really think this through so at the end, you either go 110% for your gf or 0% and just break it off.
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  6. #6
    Registered User NissanskylineN1's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by DustinTheHuss View Post
    Strong used car salesman.
    Lol no - If I woke up as a used car salesman I’d probably kill myself. I hate sales in general. But I appreciate you telling me how scummy/piece of **** I have to be to have this dilema.

    Originally Posted by skinnyfat88 View Post
    Sounds like you'll jump ship/cheat if you get a chance with someone a bit hotter.

    I suggest breakup now before doing something stupid and if the grass isn't greener you can attempt to get her back (which wouldn't be possible if she's a quality girl and you cheat or dump her for someone else).
    I don’t think I’d be able to get her back if I left her. She has too much self respect and I just don’t have the strength/ability to toy with someone like that. I respect her too much.

    Originally Posted by Ninshark View Post
    chemistry is kinda hard to find, and so is supportive women. Nowadays, many women (esp the hot ones) are superficial and entitled. You won't be able to easily find that chemistry and support elsewhere. Is a 6.5 really that bad? That's above average isn't it? I bet she's really cute, and you'd be making a big mistake. really think this over in your head because if you really get brainwashed by your buds thand start believing that you can and really want a more attractive gf, then it's time to break it off. My suggestion is to really think this through so at the end, you either go 110% for your gf or 0% and just break it off.
    Thanks for talking me through this - there’s no “frameworks” in place for this so this helps! Clearly I have some self-analysis with a few drinks to do tonight. On a second thought you kinda make a good point in terms of am I actually settling in the first place when also considering things other than looks (a more holistic view).

    To be frank and personally speaking, I’m pretty attracted to her. Sure she’s not a model, but she’s really cute. What concerns me is her career (unemployed and her field of study doesn’t make too much but it’s a pandemic so tough to say anything) and her family (slightly wacky).
    Last edited by NissanskylineN1; 10-21-2020 at 04:13 AM.
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  7. #7
    Registered User skinnyfat88's Avatar
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    Your boys who say you can do better, does their dating history suggest they have had meaningful relationships like you currently have or are they just tryna wheel girls at the bar and on tinder and having a grand ole time doing so?

    Is that lifestyle one that you long to try or do you prefer your comfortable companionship?

    Do you think your gf has the ambition and smarts to find a solid career eventually?
    How do you think she will age? Look at the female members of her family and if she has developed good habits for her physical health/appearance.
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  9. #9
    Registered User 1320it's Avatar
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    Hopefully she dumps you and finds someone better. You already downloaded apps to see what else it out there. Negged
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  10. #10
    Registered User NissanskylineN1's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by 1320it View Post
    Hopefully she dumps you and finds someone better. You already downloaded apps to see what else it out there. Negged
    Thanks man - appreciate the honest response.

    Originally Posted by skinnyfat88 View Post
    Your boys who say you can do better, does their dating history suggest they have had meaningful relationships like you currently have or are they just tryna wheel girls at the bar and on tinder and having a grand ole time doing so?

    Is that lifestyle one that you long to try or do you prefer your comfortable companionship?

    Do you think your gf has the ambition and smarts to find a solid career eventually?
    How do you think she will age? Look at the female members of her family and if she has developed good habits for her physical health/appearance.
    You raise a good point - I would say only one of the folks who told me that I can do better has had a healthy but short dating (not wheeling) history. The rest don't have much dating history or are in wack situations (oneitis, chick 10 years older, got back with cheating ex, trying to run through "broads" on Tinder). I mean, men inherently would like to get with as many girls as they can, but I think that time has passed for me and I've had enough headaches from that.

    In terms of ambition and career - I've been doing my best over the past years to try and unlock her full potential since shes smart but not very knowledgable. I personally think her parents should be pushing her more, so I'm trying my hardest to help fill that void. I do my best to spend a couple hours a week alone trying to help her with mock interviews, job apps, etc. She has responded really well to my efforts. Funny enough she got an offer for an entry level position an hour ago. I'd also say the same goes for her health - she's gotten much more fit over the past 2 years. As my duty to her as a BF, I try to push the best out of her in all aspects of life to help her reach her full potential. Its been a long process but I'm finally starting to see really good results and she's a much more mature/well rounded person.

    Aging is a little bit of a tough call - the mom would probably look great if she wasn't large from having three kids. Is the whole thick vs skinny ankles thing true by the way?
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  11. #11
    Registered User skinnyfat88's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by NissanskylineN1 View Post
    Thanks man - appreciate the honest response.



    You raise a good point - I would say only one of the folks who told me that I can do better has had a healthy but short dating (not wheeling) history. The rest don't have much dating history or are in wack situations (oneitis, chick 10 years older, got back with cheating ex, trying to run through "broads" on Tinder). I mean, men inherently would like to get with as many girls as they can, but I think that time has passed for me and I've had enough headaches from that.

    In terms of ambition and career - I've been doing my best over the past years to try and unlock her full potential since shes smart but not very knowledgable. I personally think her parents should be pushing her more, so I'm trying my hardest to help fill that void. I do my best to spend a couple hours a week alone trying to help her with mock interviews, job apps, etc. She has responded really well to my efforts. Funny enough she got an offer for an entry level position an hour ago. I'd also say the same goes for her health - she's gotten much more fit over the past 2 years. As my duty to her as a BF, I try to push the best out of her in all aspects of life to help her reach her full potential. Its been a long process but I'm finally starting to see really good results and she's a much more mature/well rounded person.

    Aging is a little bit of a tough call - the mom would probably look great if she wasn't large from having three kids. Is the whole thick vs skinny ankles thing true by the way?
    Agreed it was checking apps to see what else is out there was a scummy move.

    Is she actively asking for your help on these things you're mentioning and you're obliging or do you have to push her to put the effort in?

    You're so young that both of you are bound to change over the next decade but it seems like you're ambitious and have a lot going for you outside the relationship whereas you make it seem like what she has going for her most is you.
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  12. #12
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    Originally Posted by NissanskylineN1 View Post
    Hey guys,
    Im stuck in a dilemma and was wondering if the counsel of misc could help me out.

    I’ve been dating my gf for the past 2.5 years. She’s probably a 6.5/10 on the misc. attractiveness scale (gummy smile but cute w/ great body). She’s a year younger and just graduated without a job. However she’s been with me through thick and thin and is a phenomenal supportive partner to me. She’s never freaked out at me or even yelled at me when I’ve done dumb **** (text and drive while she’s there, flirt with girls, etc.). Even if she’s not feeling it, she puts out if I’m craving some. Basically 10/10 personality and have great chemistry together.

    However, all my friends and buddies tell me that I can do better in terms of a more attractive girl with a better career. They tell me that I’m settling, but they’re also single themselves. They say that I can probably pull a more attractive girl, and to break up with my current one and not settle. But finding one that is attractive with a decent/not dead end career is hard especially at my age. I’ve looked on Hinge and it’s filled with garbage. Either whales, tall chicks, or mediocre chicks. The best I match with are like a 7/10 with an “average” career in an entry level position - more than half of them can’t hold a conversation

    I’m now torn because my GF is phenomenal and supporting and I know I mean the world to her. However I also don’t know if I can actually do better and find a better girl than what I have now.

    Im in my mid low 20s, 6’1”, make low 6 figures working 9-5. Im attracted to white chicks only but being middle eastern doesn’t make it easy to match with them.

    What is your guys’ advice?
    Sounds like your friends are jealous you've got a ride or die and are planting seeds of doubt. Are your friends female or something? What kinda sh!t are they trying to pull?

    Having said that, the fact you feel like you're "settling" despite how awesome you describe her personality / behavior leads me to believe SHE deserves better.
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    Registered User NissanskylineN1's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by skinnyfat88 View Post
    Agreed it was checking apps to see what else is out there was a scummy move.

    Is she actively asking for your help on these things you're mentioning and you're obliging or do you have to push her to put the effort in?

    You're so young that both of you are bound to change over the next decade but it seems like you're ambitious and have a lot going for you outside the relationship whereas you make it seem like what she has going for her most is you.
    Ever since she got over the anxiety of recruiting (which is normal), shes actively asked me to help her and give her advice. Personally, I want the best for her and I know how competitive recruiting is if you don't have rich parents or a connection (I've been on both sides of this ****ty process), so I always try to push her and make sure she can be the best candidate she can be. She wants this for her own good, but its a difficult process when you do it alone like I did - I went through the hells of depression to land the job that led to the one I have right now. I don't think its right for anyone to waste their life dedicating it to someone else, and I certainly don't want me to be the only thing going for her. I respect and care about her too much to let her do that.

    You're right in the sense that we're both young but I don't think I can't live in the now if I only focus on the cards that will be in my hand in the future.

    Originally Posted by CrimsonSteel View Post
    Sounds like your friends are jealous you've got a ride or die and are planting seeds of doubt. Are your friends female or something? What kinda sh!t are they trying to pull?

    Having said that, the fact you feel like you're "settling" despite how awesome you describe her personality / behavior leads me to believe SHE deserves better.
    I don't know, but I've got much more dating experience than all of them - and you're right, a decent number of them are female. Perhaps they don't understand what a good life partner is?
    I only think I might be settling because I honestly have no idea what my "worth" is. Like is that even a concept that should be used in life?
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    Originally Posted by NissanskylineN1 View Post
    Thanks man - appreciate the honest response.



    You raise a good point - I would say only one of the folks who told me that I can do better has had a healthy but short dating (not wheeling) history. The rest don't have much dating history or are in wack situations (oneitis, chick 10 years older, got back with cheating ex, trying to run through "broads" on Tinder). I mean, men inherently would like to get with as many girls as they can, but I think that time has passed for me and I've had enough headaches from that.

    In terms of ambition and career - I've been doing my best over the past years to try and unlock her full potential since shes smart but not very knowledgable. I personally think her parents should be pushing her more, so I'm trying my hardest to help fill that void. I do my best to spend a couple hours a week alone trying to help her with mock interviews, job apps, etc. She has responded really well to my efforts. Funny enough she got an offer for an entry level position an hour ago. I'd also say the same goes for her health - she's gotten much more fit over the past 2 years. As my duty to her as a BF, I try to push the best out of her in all aspects of life to help her reach her full potential. Its been a long process but I'm finally starting to see really good results and she's a much more mature/well rounded person.

    Aging is a little bit of a tough call - the mom would probably look great if she wasn't large from having three kids. Is the whole thick vs skinny ankles thing true by the way?
    Yes
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    I just have to say.... if I found out my bf was looking at other women on dating apps to see if there’s anyone out there better than me, I would be really heartbroken. Yikes.
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    Luc1fer has a reputation beyond repute. Second best rank possible! (+100000) Luc1fer has a reputation beyond repute. Second best rank possible! (+100000) Luc1fer has a reputation beyond repute. Second best rank possible! (+100000) Luc1fer has a reputation beyond repute. Second best rank possible! (+100000) Luc1fer has a reputation beyond repute. Second best rank possible! (+100000) Luc1fer has a reputation beyond repute. Second best rank possible! (+100000) Luc1fer has a reputation beyond repute. Second best rank possible! (+100000) Luc1fer has a reputation beyond repute. Second best rank possible! (+100000) Luc1fer has a reputation beyond repute. Second best rank possible! (+100000) Luc1fer has a reputation beyond repute. Second best rank possible! (+100000) Luc1fer has a reputation beyond repute. Second best rank possible! (+100000)
    Luc1fer is offline
    Lol at responding to used car salesman
    Lol at believing his “friends” said he can do better
    𝕮𝖍𝖆𝖘𝖊 𝖆 𝖈𝖍𝖊𝖈𝕶, 𝖓𝖊𝖛𝖊𝖗 𝖈𝖍𝖆𝖘𝖊 𝖆 𝖇𝖎𝖙𝖈𝖍
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  17. #17
    Banned RavingRicky's Avatar
    Join Date: Oct 2020
    Age: 50
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    RavingRicky has a little shameless behaviour in the past. (-10) RavingRicky has a little shameless behaviour in the past. (-10) RavingRicky has a little shameless behaviour in the past. (-10) RavingRicky has a little shameless behaviour in the past. (-10) RavingRicky has a little shameless behaviour in the past. (-10) RavingRicky has a little shameless behaviour in the past. (-10) RavingRicky has a little shameless behaviour in the past. (-10) RavingRicky has a little shameless behaviour in the past. (-10) RavingRicky has a little shameless behaviour in the past. (-10) RavingRicky has a little shameless behaviour in the past. (-10) RavingRicky has a little shameless behaviour in the past. (-10)
    RavingRicky is offline
    Good GF's are hard to find man
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  18. #18
    Registered User savageoldman's Avatar
    Join Date: Jul 2019
    Age: 50
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    savageoldman is a splendid one to behold. (+10000) savageoldman is a splendid one to behold. (+10000) savageoldman is a splendid one to behold. (+10000) savageoldman is a splendid one to behold. (+10000) savageoldman is a splendid one to behold. (+10000) savageoldman is a splendid one to behold. (+10000) savageoldman is a splendid one to behold. (+10000) savageoldman is a splendid one to behold. (+10000) savageoldman is a splendid one to behold. (+10000) savageoldman is a splendid one to behold. (+10000) savageoldman is a splendid one to behold. (+10000)
    savageoldman is online now
    I remember when I was young and I had a friend that was dating this girl and she was not the most attractive and I told him he can get a hotter girl. He told me he doesn't care because she makes him happy and they are still together today 20 years later with kids. Looking back I cringe so hard even saying something like that. Who am I to tell someone they can do better? do better in what looks? how shallow.

    grow up kid or break up with her and let someone else cherish her.
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  19. #19
    Registered User savageoldman's Avatar
    Join Date: Jul 2019
    Age: 50
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    savageoldman is a splendid one to behold. (+10000) savageoldman is a splendid one to behold. (+10000) savageoldman is a splendid one to behold. (+10000) savageoldman is a splendid one to behold. (+10000) savageoldman is a splendid one to behold. (+10000) savageoldman is a splendid one to behold. (+10000) savageoldman is a splendid one to behold. (+10000) savageoldman is a splendid one to behold. (+10000) savageoldman is a splendid one to behold. (+10000) savageoldman is a splendid one to behold. (+10000) savageoldman is a splendid one to behold. (+10000)
    savageoldman is online now
    btw get new friends they are ****ing retarded
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