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  1. #1
    Banned RavingRicky's Avatar
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    Only really care about my ex (tunnel vision)

    Sup brahs, i got a problem i only really care about my ex. She has moved on and we broke up a long time ago but i just can't seem to ever generate the same feelings with other girls like I had with her.

    This is causing me tunnel vision in the sense even after such a long time of no contact i can't help but find myself thinking back to past memories of her.

    I'm fairly certain that these memories are influenced by "rose tinted glasses" and she probaby isn't as good as how i remember her

    But the truth is i just don't really ever seem to care or feel anything for women i meet or date or have sex with. She was the only women i really cared for.

    Once i have sex with a women these days i just don't really seem to care about them anymore.

    What's wrong with me?
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  2. #2
    Not actually fat or a kid Fatkidwholifts's Avatar
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  3. #3
    Registered User Ninshark's Avatar
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    I don't think that's abnormal, esp if she were your first love/gf, or if not your first gf, at least your first true love. You'll always have memories, the good ones esp. I still remember all my exes and our good memories, and it's sad, but it's only worth it for what it is for 10 seconds and you let it pass because what are you going to do about it? They're exes, they're gone, no chance. You're going to keep thinking of her, but keep it to 10 seconds; maybe once every 6 months you have a relapse and dwell for 5-10 min, but other than that, don't let it bother you. don't let it hold you back. also, consider not dating for awhile, 6 months out of relationship without trying, and work on yourself. by the time you've accomplished something in those 6 months, you'll be longing for someone to share that with and your next relationship will work out great.
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  4. #4
    Registered User Noobyy's Avatar
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    Same as me bro, hence I don't go looking for a relationship/girls anymore, as much as the misc likes to kid, there's no fun in breaking a girls heart.

    And for some relief, a good bro of mine was the same too, not depressive ****s, but just couldn't get the flame going with anyone else. This was maybe 3 years ago, 4 years since he and said girl broke up. He's just gotten married with a kid on the way, told me the feelings were still with him right up until he met X and then vanished.

    But it doesn't do to dwell either
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  5. #5
    Registered User skinnyfat88's Avatar
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    Why did you breakup OP?

    Many fish in the sea. Be the best version of yourself and you'll catch yourself another good one.
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  6. #6
    Banned RavingRicky's Avatar
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    RavingRicky is offline
    Originally Posted by Ninshark View Post
    I don't think that's abnormal, esp if she were your first love/gf, or if not your first gf, at least your first true love. You'll always have memories, the good ones esp. I still remember all my exes and our good memories, and it's sad, but it's only worth it for what it is for 10 seconds and you let it pass because what are you going to do about it? They're exes, they're gone, no chance. You're going to keep thinking of her, but keep it to 10 seconds; maybe once every 6 months you have a relapse and dwell for 5-10 min, but other than that, don't let it bother you. don't let it hold you back. also, consider not dating for awhile, 6 months out of relationship without trying, and work on yourself. by the time you've accomplished something in those 6 months, you'll be longing for someone to share that with and your next relationship will work out great.
    Thanks buddy, you're right she was my first "true love". As cringe as that sounds. I've never felt such a deep longing to be with someone when i was not with them. Just complete infatuation / love with the girl (lol).

    Anyway, it's been such a long time since we broke up and i just can't seem to shake her out of my mind nor i don't ever seem to really care about other women.

    Originally Posted by Noobyy View Post
    Same as me bro, hence I don't go looking for a relationship/girls anymore, as much as the misc likes to kid, there's no fun in breaking a girls heart.

    And for some relief, a good bro of mine was the same too, not depressive ****s, but just couldn't get the flame going with anyone else. This was maybe 3 years ago, 4 years since he and said girl broke up. He's just gotten married with a kid on the way, told me the feelings were still with him right up until he met X and then vanished.

    But it doesn't do to dwell either
    Hmm, maybe i need to meet someone else to rid those feelings? But it's a bit of a silly situation to be with like i can't fully move on or rid myself of past feelings until i meet someone else.

    Originally Posted by skinnyfat88 View Post
    Why did you breakup OP?

    Many fish in the sea. Be the best version of yourself and you'll catch yourself another good one.
    I feel really embarressed to say this, but it was almost 2 years ago. She has completely moved on (last time i checked her instagram a few moths ago) yet i can't help but think about her. My feelings have certainly faded so have my memories. I know we will never get back together and even if we did it will never be the same... but it just never really feels 'right' or the same, or that real spark that i felt at the time with her.

    Yea, i've certainly improved a lot since her (socially, job wise, mentally) but haven't really been able to make a good romantic connection since. I have gotten laid with a few girls, had a few fwbs etc but never really feel that spark.
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