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  1. #1
    God save the Queen BritishTwit's Avatar
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    Angry Do Girls Who Don't Flirt With "Male Friends" Fukking Exist? (SRS)

    I'm not a controlling guy lol, don't care if a girl has platonic male friends who are ACTUALLY platonic and not "will they wont they" or "they fukked each other accidentally once while drunk", we live in a free country.

    But I've added a lot of Tinder/Hinge/Bumble girls on Instagram, Facebook etc. lately and pretty much EVERY single one of them has about 5 or 10 male friends flirting with her on every other fukking pic, and her commenting back flirtily, lapping up the attention. This is even true of the hotter chicks who probably don't need to boost their self esteem any more, or the ones who seem like more "one of the guys", laid-back and less stereotypically girly girl.

    I am actually sick of this lmao, it's such a turn off - I've just started my first grad job and while at uni I would have been happy to smash and dash/casually date these sloots, I'm not going to entertain this kind of slootery any more. I actually went on a date with a Tinder sloot the other day, was drunk and let slip I prefer women with a low slay count - all of a sudden a girl who was bragging "If I come in late to work tomorrow my boss will know it was because of a guy (me this time, but probably 10 other cawks the previous times)" was saying "Just kidding, I barely even make out with guys these days, I'm really inexperienced!"

    Is online dating just full of trashy sloots? Is that the mistake I'm making? I want a high quality woman, not someone who likes keeping "just male friends tehe" around and sending flirty heart eyes messages into 20 of their DMs. Yeah, I could probably compete aesthetically etc. with the vast majority of these guys - but WTF should I have to just to prove myself to some bish?

    Cliffs:
    -every other sloot I add off Tinder/Bumble/Hinge etc. asks me to add them on social media and has a laundry list of "just male friends tehe" on there, flirting with her on every pic and with her flirting back. God knows what's going down in their DMs.

    -Is it impossible to find women who don't do this chit these days, or am I just wasting time looking for a serious high quality prize doesn't sleep around material type on online dating?


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  2. #2
    Registered User MirinCanadian99's Avatar
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    At this point in societies timeline you'd be hard-pressed to find any female that doesn't have a single male friend. I simply tell them that I'm not a controlling dude and trust them but if I find out they've been sleeping with them while we were dating and or they fuarked in the past I 100% of the time break it off. I'm not gonna live with the thought of my girl being fuked by a dude she brings to friend gatherings and have to shake his hand. They gotta choose between him or me. No buts. If he's just some friend and they've never banged I don't care. But anything romantic and or sexual involved and I'm out of the door personally.

    Recently the girl I've been dating for almost 2 months now (in 10 days it's gonna be 2 months), told me she was going to workout with a guy best friend. Like any sane dude I was kinda shocked because why would any sane person subject the person they are dating to that level of jealousy. She quickly told me the dude already had a girlfriend (I respected her for the transparency) and I told her I trust her. Whatever happened during that workout session is beyond me but she did tell me they ran outside and walked a bit. However, If I found out she slept with him or she was flat out lying I'd leave her.

    I personally don't have females friends and would never go into the same room with a female one on one in a relationship. So I'm kinda like Mike Pence when it comes to those things. It's just a shame that a lot of women can't reciprocate that same level of respect. I don't want the girl I'm dating to be jealous. But at the end of the day I consider myself a nice guy and do what I deem respectful and what I deem to make me happy.

    Trust Op. Trust is required in any relationship. They'll show you how trustful they are with their actions. It's easier to lose trust then building it.
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  3. #3
    rambo CrimsonSteel's Avatar
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    Most girls will play coy but know it's phucked up.
    Most guys will continue being Grima Wormtongue phaggots despite knowing a girl is in a relationship.

    When I've got a girlfriend, I'm definitely not gonna be chatting up former fukbuds and ex-gfs. (And they always seem to pop up whenever I'm in a new relationship, like clockwork.)
    When I know a girl has a boyfriend, I do not pursue her in any way, shape, or form, and pretty much stay "no contact." Not gonna be chat buddies with some chick who is in a relationship, because I find it disrespectful.

    Of course, it's popular and mainstream for women to sell pics of their as$h0les an hour after turning 18, and pretty much anything a guy does short of being a subservient little b!tch is framed as "toxic," so asking for even the most basic of mutual respect can be framed "misogynist" and "controlling" in a flash, these days.
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  4. #4
    Here's beer Mr Beer's Avatar
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    "Cliffs:
    -every other sloot I add off Tinder/Bumble/Hinge etc. asks me to add them on social media and has a laundry list of "just male friends tehe" on there, flirting with her on every pic and with her flirting back. God knows what's going down in their DMs."

    I have no clue about this because I literally know zero women in their 20s. I will say if they are already on a dating site, they're presumably more likely to be using other social media so you may be selecting for it to some extent. So you may try to want to meet women IRL which means building a social network and cold approaching.

    What you describe sounds like a total drag though.
    Cope or Rope boyos.

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  5. #5
    Registered User Legz422's Avatar
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    If you're not officially dating them, then you're both free to do as you wish. Just because you have a first date with someone doesn't mean they're off the market. I'm saying this as someone who doesn't do what you're describing in the OP, but also knows that until you have that kind of discussion about other people you're both free to do as you wish.
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  6. #6
    PHD in Broscience Tough92's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Legz422 View Post
    If you're not officially dating them, then you're both free to do as you wish. Just because you have a first date with someone doesn't mean they're off the market. I'm saying this as someone who doesn't do what you're describing in the OP, but also knows that until you have that kind of discussion about other people you're both free to do as you wish.

    Ok what’s you’re though on “alleged” platonic male friends when you and a girl are in a serious relationship?

    My issue is my GF can be Mary
    Mother of god and I can trust her with the world BUT I know the male she’s “friends” with 9/10 has another agenda
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    Registered User Legz422's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Tough92 View Post
    Ok what’s you’re though on “alleged” platonic male friends when you and a girl are in a serious relationship?

    My issue is my GF can be Mary
    Mother of god and I can trust her with the world BUT I know the male she’s “friends” with 9/10 has another agenda
    I think that if it makes the other person uncomfortable then they shouldn't keep opposite sex friends. They also should not be meeting that person IRL one on one.
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    PHD in Broscience Tough92's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Legz422 View Post
    I think that if it makes the other person uncomfortable then they shouldn't keep opposite sex friends. They also should not be meeting that person IRL one on one.

    That’s how I feel thank you.
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  9. #9
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    Yeah OP, males “friends” are 100% BS in my opinion. They wanna fuk, even if she doesn’t (if they are single).
    ... to be fair, I know some guy/girl friendships that are just that, but it’s very rare.

    It’s a problem that girls keep male friends around, but like other miscers say it’s hard to find one who doesn’t.

    The girl I’m seeing currently has guy friends as well. She never see them
    1v1 and to my knowledge they havn’t texted her or commented anything inappropriate. So we’ll see how it goes. The girls I’ve seen in the past had no guys friends, srs, so this is new and I’m giving it a chance. (It will be good practise to notice red flags with other girls who have guy friends if it indeed goes wrong).

    I hold her responsible for anything her guy friends do. If one tries to kiss her, I view it as she giving him the impression that she would kiss back, or that she at least flirted enough with him for him to wanna kiss her etc.
    Basically, I hold her responsible for their actions towards her and will break up with her if they do anything that crosses my line.
    The reasoning being, that if she doesn’t trust them NOT to try anything, it’s disrespectful to keep talking with them.
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  10. #10
    Grower not a shower sweetneybrian's Avatar
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    No woman is 100% faithful, no matter how big or small your the situation, your wife/gf is doing something you wouldn't approve of behind your back at some point in time.

    To make it simple OP, no they don't exist.
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    Registered User Legz422's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by sweetneybrian View Post
    No woman is 100% faithful, no matter how big or small your the situation, your wife/gf is doing something you wouldn't approve of behind your back at some point in time.

    To make it simple OP, no they don't exist.
    That's fukking bullchit! give an example of what you're talking about.
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    Registered User MirinCanadian99's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Legz422 View Post
    That's fukking bullchit! give an example of what you're talking about.
    99% of miscers have no idea what they are talking about. You expect him to give you an example or back his claim up with science backed data?
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  13. #13
    Grower not a shower sweetneybrian's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Legz422 View Post
    That's fukking bullchit! give an example of what you're talking about.
    Why's an example needed. Do you honestly believe that if you had a hidden camera follow your significant other filming every single female interaction that'd you'd be completely comfortable with everything you saw. Feel free to lie and say that you would but let's be honest....

    This isn't me saying every chick is throwing herself at men or every guy is begging the hot chick at work for a bj, but to say you'd be fine with everything your other half does when you aren't around is bullchit. Whether it be making a sly innuendo or hugging that weirdo from the mailroom that has a crush on her for too long.
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    Originally Posted by BritishTwit View Post
    I'm not a controlling guy lol, don't care if a girl has platonic male friends who are ACTUALLY platonic and not "will they wont they" or "they fukked each other accidentally once while drunk", we live in a free country.

    But I've added a lot of Tinder/Hinge/Bumble girls on Instagram, Facebook etc. lately and pretty much EVERY single one of them has about 5 or 10 male friends flirting with her on every other fukking pic, and her commenting back flirtily, lapping up the attention. This is even true of the hotter chicks who probably don't need to boost their self esteem any more, or the ones who seem like more "one of the guys", laid-back and less stereotypically girly girl.

    I am actually sick of this lmao, it's such a turn off - I've just started my first grad job and while at uni I would have been happy to smash and dash/casually date these sloots, I'm not going to entertain this kind of slootery any more. I actually went on a date with a Tinder sloot the other day, was drunk and let slip I prefer women with a low slay count - all of a sudden a girl who was bragging "If I come in late to work tomorrow my boss will know it was because of a guy (me this time, but probably 10 other cawks the previous times)" was saying "Just kidding, I barely even make out with guys these days, I'm really inexperienced!"

    Is online dating just full of trashy sloots? Is that the mistake I'm making? I want a high quality woman, not someone who likes keeping "just male friends tehe" around and sending flirty heart eyes messages into 20 of their DMs. Yeah, I could probably compete aesthetically etc. with the vast majority of these guys - but WTF should I have to just to prove myself to some bish?

    Cliffs:
    -every other sloot I add off Tinder/Bumble/Hinge etc. asks me to add them on social media and has a laundry list of "just male friends tehe" on there, flirting with her on every pic and with her flirting back. God knows what's going down in their DMs.

    -Is it impossible to find women who don't do this chit these days, or am I just wasting time looking for a serious high quality prize doesn't sleep around material type on online dating?


    Nice girls with self respect, the ones you seem to want, don't paste their insta with selfies. For example, a girl with a lot of hobbies, self respect, not looking to hook up with anyone would have an insta with their art if they like to draw, or music, whatever. Very few to no selfies. You are swimming in a sea of whores but want a self respecting, classy girl.
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    It exists, though I understand why such relationships are viewed with suspicion
    I had a female friend who is attractive, and was good friends with me. I never thought of her in a sexual / romantic way, and never flirted either. Thought of her more as a sister

    Ironically, once she got engaged, she distanced herself from me because her fiance was uncomfortable with her having male friends. Kind of sucks, though I guess I somewhat understand his insecurity.
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    Originally Posted by MirinCanadian99 View Post
    ...or they fuarked in the past I 100% of the time break it off.
    Yup been there, done that.
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    Originally Posted by Mr Beer View Post
    I have no clue about this because I literally know zero women in their 20s. I will say if they are already on a dating site, they're presumably more likely to be using other social media so you may be selecting for it to some extent. So you may try to want to meet women IRL which means building a social network and cold approaching.
    Correct, there are women out there that don't engage vapidly with horny men, but they probably aren't on these online dating sites for the most part.

    Quality women literally recoil at online dating experiences, srs.

    The only way you'll find a quality woman there, is if she just signed up 2 days ago and you meet her before she deletes her account.
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    Originally Posted by MirinCanadian99 View Post
    Recently the girl I've been dating for almost 2 months now (in 10 days it's gonna be 2 months), told me she was going to workout with a guy best friend. Like any sane dude I was kinda shocked because why would any sane person subject the person they are dating to that level of jealousy. She quickly told me the dude already had a girlfriend (I respected her for the transparency) and I told her I trust her. Whatever happened during that workout session is beyond me but she did tell me they ran outside and walked a bit. However, If I found out she slept with him or she was flat out lying I'd leave her.
    It's just suspect. Nothing physical probably happened, but women can still get that emotional high if there's chemistry or if he's interested. Men care more about physical cheating and vice versa.

    Like I said before, it's incredibly difficult to fully separate harmless friendship from the sexual tension that inevitably arises. If he's straight, and she's decent looking I'm 99.9% confident on this one.

    In b4 Rabbitjb defends this as okay.
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    Originally Posted by Legz422 View Post
    If you're not officially dating them, then you're both free to do as you wish. Just because you have a first date with someone doesn't mean they're off the market. I'm saying this as someone who doesn't do what you're describing in the OP, but also knows that until you have that kind of discussion about other people you're both free to do as you wish.
    Agree nobody owes anybody anything after first date.

    But

    If all her male "friends" on social media are first dates that didn't work out, why keep them as friends? What's the purpose? Validation , future backup plans, friend with benefits?. Do you really think girls cut them off when they get into a relationship?
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    Originally Posted by redmelly View Post
    Nice girls with self respect, the ones you seem to want, don't paste their insta with selfies. For example, a girl with a lot of hobbies, self respect, not looking to hook up with anyone would have an insta with their art if they like to draw, or music, whatever. Very few to no selfies. You are swimming in a sea of whores but want a self respecting, classy girl.
    have to agree with this.
    I do in fact know single women on social media who, when posting memes or pics only have other women commenting about how pretty she is ect.
    on the other hand, i know a lot more who have half a dozen or more thirsty dudes telling them how beautiful and hot they are every time the post a selfie and its a turn off to me.
    I know it won't go anywhere.

    as for the flirting, I don't get it myself.

    past my 20's, if a woman I know rejects after flirting with me hard, i don't get butt-hurt or anything about it, but i will ignore or sidestep any further flirtations from them and pay far more attention to other women.

    i don't get dudes who will keep flirting with a chick if it doesn't get them anywhere.
    whats the point?

    I guess when the thirst is strong?
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    Originally Posted by DarthCholo View Post
    If all her male "friends" on social media are first dates that didn't work out, why keep them as friends? What's the purpose? Validation , future backup plans, friend with benefits?. Do you really think girls cut them off when they get into a relationship?
    Validation, acutely. IDK if you noticed this but most women are incredibly insecure, and need consistent validation to maintain ego. Men too, but generally to a lesser extent.

    Behind that desire for validation (maintaining orbiters) is a pretty convincing evolutionary theory about having backups. Particularly the type of men that will commit resources if Plan A falls through.
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    Originally Posted by BritishTwit View Post
    But I've added a lot of Tinder/Hinge/Bumble girls on Instagram, Facebook etc. lately and pretty much EVERY single one of them has about 5 or 10 male friends flirting with her on every other fukking pic, and her commenting back flirtily, lapping up the attention.
    So you look at how girls that accept and probably encourage friend requests from randos behave and you're surprised that they love getting attention?

    Maybe you should look at how your female relatives and friends behave instead, just a tip.
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    Originally Posted by Luc1fer View Post
    It's just suspect. Nothing physical probably happened, but women can still get that emotional high if there's chemistry or if he's interested. Men care more about physical cheating and vice versa.

    Like I said before, it's incredibly difficult to fully separate harmless friendship from the sexual tension that inevitably arises. If he's straight, and she's decent looking I'm 99.9% confident on this one.

    In b4 Rabbitjb defends this as okay.
    It was definitely suspect at first and I think she realized that it made me feel some kind of way which is why she told me the dude already had a girlfriend. But I'm willing to bet the dudes girlfriend was also very jealous or was disturbed a bit by the idea. I like to give the benefit of the doubt to people and like to trust them unless proven otherwise. However if it does become a reoccurring thing I'll probably communicate it with her. However it's only been almost 2 months we've been dating and we do act like a semi-couple and are exclusive but don't consider ourselves an official couple yet and we don't use I love you. So I can't really act like a boyfriend but it did rub me some sort of way.

    It's just sad that females and even dudes have this need for friends of the opposite sex.
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    Originally Posted by Brosnbroccoli View Post
    if she doesn’t trust them NOT to try anything, it’s disrespectful to keep talking with them.
    This is a pretty good rule of thumb for friendships of the opposite sex.
    It's not a genuine friendship unless both parties are on the same page.
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    Originally Posted by MirinCanadian99 View Post
    It was definitely suspect at first and I think she realized that it made me feel some kind of way which is why she told me the dude already had a girlfriend. But I'm willing to bet the dudes girlfriend was also very jealous or was disturbed a bit by the idea. I like to give the benefit of the doubt to people and like to trust them unless proven otherwise. However if it does become a reoccurring thing I'll probably communicate it with her. However it's only been almost 2 months we've been dating and we do act like a semi-couple and are exclusive but don't consider ourselves an official couple yet and we don't use I love you. So I can't really act like a boyfriend but it did rub me some sort of way.

    It's just sad that females and even dudes have this need for friends of the opposite sex.
    Why do you talk all that chit about loyalty and dating, "good girls" but then your gf does this to you even AFTER you expressed that you wasn't ok with it??

    Also, why doesn't she just go gym with you?

    you got personal-time mogged and fitness mogged by a dude with a gf.

    You'll rationalize or twist any event in your head as some example of "trust" or what's "right" in a relationship, but you have no sway over this girl or respect clearly.
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    Originally Posted by DBoyDaRealest View Post
    Why do you talk all that chit about loyalty and dating, "good girls" but then your gf does this to you even AFTER you expressed that you wasn't ok with it??

    Also, why doesn't she just go gym with you?

    you got personal-time mogged and fitness mogged by a dude with a gf.

    You'll rationalize or twist any event in your head as some example of "trust" or what's "right" in a relationship, but you have no sway over this girl or respect clearly.
    It was her first time doing it. I told her that I trust her but it seemed odd. If it happens again I'll have a more in depth conversation. I'm not a controlling dude and believe trust is important. They've been best friends for a longer time and I'm just some dude she knows for almost 2 months. Who is she gonna pick?

    She didn't really go to the gym. They did a workout circuit outside (they are in the same class at school and are in the same program) (I'm also in her program but I live 30 mins away by car). We are going to workout together this Saturday.

    Personal-time mogged and fitness mogged? I saw her the afternoon of that same day and as mentioned above we are gonna workout this Saturday.

    I know she's a good girl because she quite clearly told me the dude had a girlfriend so the chances of him doing something is 0.1%. We had a conversation after the fact and we made ourselves clear. If I learn that the dude was a prior ex or she had sexual relations with him I'll leave her. In this case I don't wanna come to any to conclusions or come off as paranoid.
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    Originally Posted by sweetneybrian View Post
    Why's an example needed. Do you honestly believe that if you had a hidden camera follow your significant other filming every single female interaction that'd you'd be completely comfortable with everything you saw. Feel free to lie and say that you would but let's be honest....

    This isn't me saying every chick is throwing herself at men or every guy is begging the hot chick at work for a bj, but to say you'd be fine with everything your other half does when you aren't around is bullchit. Whether it be making a sly innuendo or hugging that weirdo from the mailroom that has a crush on her for too long.
    I am a woman and I call bullchit to what you said. When I'm in a relationship I do nothing inappropriate with other men. Not one thing to catch if I were followed 24/7.

    Originally Posted by DarthCholo View Post
    Agree nobody owes anybody anything after first date.

    But

    If all her male "friends" on social media are first dates that didn't work out, why keep them as friends? What's the purpose? Validation , future backup plans, friend with benefits?. Do you really think girls cut them off when they get into a relationship?
    Don't really know as I don't do that, but I'd guess validation.
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    Originally Posted by MirinCanadian99 View Post
    It was definitely suspect at first and I think she realized that it made me feel some kind of way which is why she told me the dude already had a girlfriend. But I'm willing to bet the dudes girlfriend was also very jealous or was disturbed a bit by the idea. I like to give the benefit of the doubt to people and like to trust them unless proven otherwise. However if it does become a reoccurring thing I'll probably communicate it with her. However it's only been almost 2 months we've been dating and we do act like a semi-couple and are exclusive but don't consider ourselves an official couple yet and we don't use I love you. So I can't really act like a boyfriend but it did rub me some sort of way.

    It's just sad that females and even dudes have this need for friends of the opposite sex.
    How long have they known each other?

    It's tough in your early 20s when everyone is a social butterfly looking to expand their network. Lots of people don't yet have their solid core social group (some people never develop one) and when new friends arise of the opposite sex it can cause tensions in relationships for sure. Even people who don't have intentions of being shady can be oblivious to how certain friendships may affect their relationship negatively and how frienships with the opposite sex may be perceived.
    I'm friends with women but I've known them since highschool or before. Perhaps adults can make friends of the opposite sex too through work or something but it seems less natural as you get older and if your SO isn't encouraging you to be friends with their friends it's a red flag (though I've seen people claim to be friends in front of their SO's and still hookup on the side).

    Your outlook on dating is unique and mature for someone your age and you're prob miles ahead of where I was at your age in some aspects but there are also things you can really only learn with experience and I can assure you in 10 years from now you will realize it and some of your perspectives may change as a result.
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    So I don’t believe the OP has responded since he made the thread BUT what is the verdict here?

    Is this something we live with if it’s possible present? It seems even the goodest of girls will have a beta orbiter in a work setting and she can be 100% platonic with him but he may have another agenda.

    Remember the #1 thing you should never ever do is show a girl you’re jealous in any way shape or form.

    That being said Is it something you address or something you leave out? Granted different situations can arise.
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    Originally Posted by Tough92 View Post
    So I don’t believe the OP has responded since he made the thread BUT what is the verdict here?

    Is this something we live with if it’s possible present? It seems even the goodest of girls will have a beta orbiter in a work setting and she can be 100% platonic with him but he may have another agenda.

    Remember the #1 thing you should never ever do is show a girl you’re jealous in any way shape or form.

    That being said Is it something you address or something you leave out? Granted different situations can arise.
    The problem is likely the type of girl he is going for. I'd bet money that he's going for the instagram socialite type that makes sure every picture is perfect. There is nothing wrong with going for that girl if you know what you are getting yourself into. He's probably a decent looking guy if he's matching these types and they do have legit guy friends up in their bizness.

    He just needs to calibrate his expectations a little bit. These girls 21-26 with tons of guy friends who are always posting stories and doing stuff every weekend just aren't going to be serious material. Work your way in and see if you can get a fwb out of it or some nice dates but dont catch real feels.

    There are plenty of hot girls on these apps who don't carry a large social media presence like he is describing. Otherwise, real life would be the place to chat girls but it's weird now with covid obv
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