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  1. #1
    Registered User Vertigo5891's Avatar
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    Do i have trust issues?

    So I've been in a few relationships, but have broken up with all of them for different reasons between myself and them. I read the stories on here about women being so scornful, cheating/justifying it, taking everything the guy has post breakup. I also had 2 friends that killed themselves when their partners cheated, split, took the kids and pulled the 'poor me' chit. One mate at my nightschool, going through the split now, bitch was a stay at home mum while he made the cheddar to support them, just blindsided him outta nowhere, poor bugger.

    It seems the more you give a girl, the more they take, until nothing left to give, then throw their chit at you like a monkey.
    Ive never knocked up a girl or proposed to them, and mid 30's now they're getting desperate which i aint got no time for.

    I always stay a little guarded these days (am 34), i've been cheated on once and big lied to once, but when i date new girls i dont bring the past into the present. But the thing about my friends definitely keeps the newb at arms length, almost the HEAT mantra of never being afraid to drop everything and bolt. I dont have any problems detaching and moving on, got lots of work, hobbies, other options etc.

    Part of me thinks its just being aware and safe. But part of me also thinks i might have trust issues. My parents were toxic toward each other growing up and split when i was a teen, but i still remember all of it, have read that can be a factor in my 'problem'. I definitely do not think all women are the same, and as said, do not bring the past into the present.

    So what say you, reckon i have trust issues or is my 'awareness'/learning the easy way warranted?
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  2. #2
    Registered User Ninshark's Avatar
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    doesn't matter if your trust issues being warranted, they're not gonna help you in your future interactions with anybody. Rather than focus on your trust issues and giving yourself excuses to have them, you should work on getting over them and slowly training yourself to trust again. You can do it man, you can totally train your non-trusting self into a more trusting and pleasant person to be around. It could take 1-2 yrs, but you'd see a lot of progress after 6 months. fear is really a big inhibitor and I make it a point not to be swayed by fear, and not to let fear take away my opportunities. I would start with building up some self-confidence, and having something going for you that can always back you up whenever you fail (get betrayed). so that you don't have those trust issues, whenever you think you might not want to trust them, having something going for you in the back will give you the confidence that should something go wrong (get betrayed), you'll still be fine. It's cool that you know about the dangers of this and that, but it'd be better if you could navigate the treacherous waters with courage and confidence.
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  3. #3
    Registered User MirinCanadian99's Avatar
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    Trust is the biggest component in any healthy relationship. If you don't have trust you should work on building it back up.
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  4. #4
    Registered User Rattelsnake's Avatar
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    Rattelsnake is offline
    Originally Posted by Vertigo5891 View Post
    So what say you, reckon i have trust issues or is my 'awareness'/learning the easy way warranted?
    No, you don't have trust issues; having a healthy awareness is the most sensible approach.

    I posted this elsewhere, might be applicable here also:

    That's very wise to have a healthy sense of caution about when to open your heart and whom to share with.

    For a woman to gain access to a man's heart, it might be a safe bet to vet the woman's ability to:

    1} nurture his heart
    2) soothe his heart
    3) protect/guard his heart from incurring pain

    When watching how a woman treats a man's heart, how does she react? does she do any of the above? does she value/treat it like a treasure chest of gold, keeping it close to her own heart?

    If she can't or won't, it might be too high risk of providing her further access to it.

    Kind of like refraining from showing all cards at once. Safer to test/display one heart card at a time.
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  5. #5
    Registered User kauseemcee's Avatar
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    I have never EVER trusted a woman like I trust the one I am with now. Never doubted my trust for her not once. You'll just know bro. Bishes are shady.
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