Matches have pretty much died ³

[TBO1313]

Next time this girl comes over I plan to directly ask her if she’s having sex with any other guy. I prefer not to go by arbitrary speculation.

Inb4 there’s no point in asking, she could lie. Please don’t be the idiot to say that.

I used to straight up ask girls if they were having sex with other guys before I took them on proper dates like dinner or movies. If we were just gonna hang out and drink at a party then it was whatever but I always asked before "real" dates. No way in hell I was gonna take some chick out like I was her bf only for her to go hook up with some other guy right after I leave. That's the ultimate disrespect in my book

[Luc1fer]

I'm surprised you didn't talk about it before having sex for the first time. Of course you have every right to ask.

We did talk about the last times we both had sex, she seemed interested in knowing too. So there's some implicit acknowledgement there, but I didn't explicitly set my boundary/requirement.

As you know it's important to be explicit, otherwise people will rationalize a breach of a vague/implicit social contract.

[DustinTheHuss]

Online dating is going to be MISERABLE for the next month or so.

Maybe it’s time to take a break......

Why? Because of the election?

I think it's miserable election or not.

I was texting this hot 8.5/10 back and forth all day Saturday, and then she adds me to SnapCrap and I accidentally screen shotted her profile pic, then she freaked out and blocked me even after I apologized. Fuuarrrkk

I wasted most of Saturday texting her. I'm never texting a girl on a hike before. Talk about ruining my existence with nature.

[Luc1fer]

Why? Because of the election?

I think it's miserable election or not.

I was texting this hot 8.5/10 back and forth all day Saturday, and then she adds me to SnapCrap and I accidentally screen shotted her profile pic, then she freaked out and blocked me even after I apologized. Fuuarrrkk

I wasted most of Saturday texting her. I'm never texting a girl on a hike before. Talk about ruining my existence with nature.

One tiny slip up and you're done with an 8+. Everything has to go perfectly, and then you have to schedule the date - that's the flakiest part.

You're competing with literally every other guy on the app.

My ex of 3 years was in that ballpark. She had just signed up, I sent a witty opener (it was when the sites allowed messages) which she said caught her attention, crafted some good messages, worked to get a date scheduled asap (within a couple days ideally), when she arrived she had already been on like 4/5 dates in 2 days. She had 2 before meeting me. It was my first date in weeks.

It's an accomplishment to beat out all those other guys, if nothing else.

The dating game is incredibly rigged in women's favor. But you have to understand the difficulty for women is finding a decent guy that will stick around. Finding a guy to date or sleep with? lmao.

[brightbrah]

Condom sex sucks, another huge drawback of non exclusive sex.

Inb4 people fuk randoms raw on top of everything else

I mean, I wouldn't say that it's super uncommon

I used to straight up ask girls if they were having sex with other guys before I took them on proper dates like dinner or movies. If we were just gonna hang out and drink at a party then it was whatever but I always asked before "real" dates. No way in hell I was gonna take some chick out like I was her bf only for her to go hook up with some other guy right after I leave. That's the ultimate disrespect in my book

Good strategy.

Online dating is going to be MISERABLE for the next month or so.

Maybe it’s time to take a break......

Why's that?

[DustinTheHuss]

One tiny slip up and you're done with an 8+. Everything has to go perfectly, and then you have to schedule the date - that's the flakiest part.

You're competing with literally every other guy on the app.

My ex of 3 years was in that ballpark. She had just signed up, I sent a witty opener (it was when the sites allowed messages) which she said caught her attention, crafted some good messages, worked to get a date scheduled asap (within a couple days ideally), when she arrived she had already been on like 4/5 dates in 2 days. She had 2 before meeting me. It was my first date in weeks.

It's an accomplishment to beat out all those other guys, if nothing else.

The dating game is incredibly rigged in women's favor. But you have to understand the difficulty for women is finding a decent guy that will stick around. Finding a guy to date or sleep with? lmao.

It's so annoying. She was really cool, too, and talked about surfing and stand-up paddleboarding with me. I thought maybe she was fake since her pics were so good for someone on a dating app.

True. It's hard to find hookups or dates for guys, whereas it's hard for find women to get a decent guy who will stick around.

With the exception of the feminists (who are all over California) and the younger girls, women over 30 will be shamed by their friends if they do hookups. Plus it isn't in their best interest like you said. Condom sex sucks, and unprotected sex leads to a risk of pregnancy. It's against a woman's biology to have sex with random hookups because of the risk of pregnancy and not knowing who the father is.

[Luc1fer]

It's so annoying. She was really cool, too, and talked about surfing and stand-up paddleboarding with me. I thought maybe she was fake since her pics were so good for someone on a dating app.

True. It's hard to find hookups or dates for guys, whereas it's hard for find women to get a decent guy who will stick around.

With the exception of the feminists (who are all over California) and the younger girls, women over 30 will be shamed by their friends if they do hookups. Plus it isn't in their best interest like you said. Condom sex sucks, and unprotected sex leads to a risk of pregnancy. It's against a woman's biology to have sex with random hookups because of the risk of pregnancy and not knowing who the father is.

It's difficult to find hookups with decent looking women unless you're in the top 5%. If you're in that top tier of looks, it's probably the best ever time for you.

It's easy to find hookups generally if you aren't picky.

On that biology thing, I think it holds true generally to some extent (especially in comparison to men), but plenty of women are really slutty and horny. Of course the young feminists you mention, actually celebrate high counts and ONS.

[skinnyfat88]

I was texting this hot 8.5/10 back and forth all day Saturday, and then she adds me to SnapCrap and I accidentally screen shotted her profile pic, then she freaked out and blocked me even after I apologized. Fuuarrrkk

I wasted most of Saturday texting her. I'm never texting a girl on a hike before. Talk about ruining my existence with nature.

That's a pretty big mistake... I can see where her head went and why it messed things up.

Lesson to be learned: If you're busy say so and talk later (if she's quality she'll respect that you're doing cool things with your time).

My personal experience (which is limited) with dating apps is that you don't have to swoop in and snag the quality girls before someone else does - sometimes patience is key.

Met about 6 women off apps in my life and the best two were not consistent communicators on the app at all. Days between responses. Ended meeting up with them 3-4 weeks after first messaging. Both said they just didn't prioritize the app and found taking their time weeded out a lot of guys (who they presumed were impatient and just looking for a quick hookup).

Each scenario is different though.

[Luc1fer]

Met about 6 women off apps in my life and the best two were not consistent communicators on the app at all. Days between responses. Ended meeting up with them 3-4 weeks after first messaging. Both said they just didn't prioritize the app and found taking their time weeded out a lot of guys (who they presumed were impatient and just looking for a quick hookup).

Each scenario is different though.

That's one thing, and I've experienced that too. But what about women that respond with "haha" after you write a message with reasonable effort? I just ghost them.

Quid-pro-quo is my philosophy.

[jamestown0101]

Edition¹ - https://forum.bodybuilding.com/showt...hp?t=175993141
Edition² - https://forum.bodybuilding.com/showt...hp?t=177145981

During pandemic, an absurd amount of women felt lonely and wanted just to time vampire dudes. I don't give a flying **** if its pandemic or mad ****in max outdoors. Smash or next. Repeat till d falls off or dead.

Sup brahhhhh? Been a minute. I found that during the craze of lockdowns and no gyms, many outdoor parks, dog parks, trails, workout parks, and anywhere with a proclivity to fitness is target rich.

Met several chicks at the beach, dog parks, workout parks, outdoor tracks, and trails. I cannot stress enough about the quality in contrast to land whale OLD or catfish. Gyms are open again BUT, i highly advise said environments. Simple search in your location. I met a girl at the track. She said she lives alone and is dying cabin fever.

Sounded like a invitation.

[Luc1fer]

Met several chicks at the beach, dog parks, workout parks, outdoor tracks, and trails. I cannot stress enough about the quality in contrast to land whale OLD or catfish. Gyms are open again BUT, i highly advise said environments. Simple search in your location. I met a girl at the track. She said she lives alone and is dying cabin fever.

Good stuff, how do you approach them given some people being concerned about covid? Do you keep your distance and introduce yourself?

[skinnyfat88]

That's one thing, and I've experienced that too. But what about women that respond with "haha" after you write a message with reasonable effort? I just ghost them.

Quid-pro-quo is my philosophy.

Oh ya 100%. Has to be a 2 way street but I somewhat expect to be the conversation driver but that's just part of the game.

[DustinTheHuss]

That's a pretty big mistake... I can see where her head went and why it messed things up.

Lesson to be learned: If you're busy say so and talk later (if she's quality she'll respect that you're doing cool things with your time).

My personal experience (which is limited) with dating apps is that you don't have to swoop in and snag the quality girls before someone else does - sometimes patience is key.

Met about 6 women off apps in my life and the best two were not consistent communicators on the app at all. Days between responses. Ended meeting up with them 3-4 weeks after first messaging. Both said they just didn't prioritize the app and found taking their time weeded out a lot of guys (who they presumed were impatient and just looking for a quick hookup).

Each scenario is different though.

Yeah my bad. I don't like SnapCrap so I had it deleted for awhile. I think it's a generational thing as my teen daughter loves it it, and I don't like the filters and making silly faces when you chat. I know it alerts the other person if you take screen shots of their pics, but I didn't know it did that with their profile.

Plus it's hard to read the Bumble yellow background at night, so I'm constantly screenshooting and enlarging the text to read it as the light is bad in my place.

I can communicate on Kik, WhatsApp, text/Messages, and the dating apps but I need to overcome my reluctance and annoyance to use Snapchat.

Once I get into texting it's hard to stop for other activities since I have poor impulse control, especially if the other person and I have a lot of interests and just keep texting over and over. That's rare though. Most of the time I have so many messages that I forget about the person and don't keep up unless I have a high interest, then I go back on the app and start swiping for something new. It's like gambling.

I have zero free time to meet anyone over the next 2 weeks with Halloween, my birthday and adventure club activities, so that also makes it tough. Yeah each scenario is different. I just fuked that one up. Oh well, lesson learned. Sigh.

I do have a gut feeling her pics were fake, though, or outdated. The Snaps all looked the same, too, and someone let me know there is an app that makes it look like you're sending Snaps with fake pics.

[skinnyfat88]

I can communicate on Kik, WhatsApp, text/Messages, and the dating apps but I need to overcome my reluctance and annoyance to use Snapchat.

Once I get into texting it's hard to stop for other activities since I have poor impulse control, especially if the other person and I have a lot of interests and just keep texting over and over. That's rare though. Most of the time I have so many messages that I forget about the person and don't keep up unless I have a high interest, then I go back on the app and start swiping for something new. It's like gambling.

Why did you screenshot her profile? Or was it an accident?

You absolutely do not need to give in and use Snapchat. This will absolutely not be a dealbreaker when you find the right women and as you just learned, using it poorly when you're not comfortable with it is more likely to mess things up than anything.

"Poor impulse control" and over texting and the incessant swiping and having dozens of convo's going on at once indicates you either crave validation or are desperate in one way or another so the problem lies further beneath the surface than what you mentioned.

[InsanePain11]

A lot of ghosting and attention seeking by girls on the apps. I’ve come to the realization I’ve wasted too much time on there lately. As others say a lot of girls are bored during the pandemic especially in very strict lockdown areas. Thinking I should wait a while before going back on. There’s too many downsides and hoops to jump through. Time is better spent elsewhere.

[Luc1fer]

A lot of ghosting and attention seeking by girls on the apps. I’ve come to the realization I’ve wasted too much time on there lately. As others say a lot of girls are bored during the pandemic especially in very strict lockdown areas. Thinking I should wait a while before going back on. There’s too many downsides and hoops to jump through. Time is better spent elsewhere.

I don't find it much worse than before the pandemic. Always wasted time on there, you just have to do your best to limit time wasted by detecting early signs and bailing to protect your time.

#1 if she does not write a proper message back in response to yours, she isn't high interest. Worst case of this is "haha" or one word responses. Just ghost her.

[FemaleWarriorxo]

Thought things were going semi good with the classmate until he invited me over to “study”.

Told him I’m not into that and now we haven’t talked much. Oh well onto the next lul

[TBO1313]

Thought things were going semi good with the classmate until he invited me over to “study”.

Told him I’m not into that and now we haven’t talked much. Oh well onto the next lul

Are you sure he wasn't actually just trying to study with you?

[Luc1fer]

Thought things were going semi good with the classmate until he invited me over to “study”.

Told him I’m not into that and now we haven’t talked much. Oh well onto the next lul

I hope you didn’t make too many assumptions and were open with him about your expectations on not sleeping around early. He might be okay with that.

Almost all guys are gonna at least make the attempt to sleep with you after a few dates. That would be too strict of a weeding out strategy, if all of what I’m assuming about the situation is accurate.

My view is that guys will try, women can control/wait, and then the guy will react accordingly.

Maybe that is how it went down though.

[FemaleWarriorxo]

Are you sure he wasn't actually just trying to study with you?

Yes lol What he stated; “We can quiz each other and we can also do a little special studying also ”

Also made him clarify it so I wasn’t making assumptions like luci stated.

I hope you didn’t make too many assumptions and were open with him about your expectations on not sleeping around early. He might be okay with that.

Almost all guys are gonna at least make the attempt to sleep with you after a few dates. That would be too strict of a weeding out strategy, if all of what I’m assuming about the situation is accurate.

My view is that guys will try, women can control/wait, and then the guy will react accordingly.

Maybe that is how it went down though.

Not assumptions. I was open with everything like I am with everyone.

Obviously I know 99% of men will be that way and I expect it. I’ve only went on one date with my classmate lol I’ve stated how I am about sex and he said it was fine. That he understands and still wants to go on a second lol

[TBO1313]

Yes lol What he stated; “We can quiz each other and we can also do a little special studying also ”

Also made him clarify it so I wasn’t making assumptions like luci stated.



Not assumptions. I was open with everything like I am with everyone.

Obviously I know 99% of men will be that way and I expect it. I’ve only went on one date with my classmate lol I’ve stated how I am about sex and he said it was fine. That he understands and still wants to go on a second lol

Tell me if I'm understanding the situation.

- You clarify with classmate your position on sex timing on the first date. He says he understands and wants to go on a second

- After one date he makes sexual innuendo and then clarifies that yes he does want to do the grownup

- You tell him no and refuse the 2nd date

If this is the case, I'm not sure I'd kick him to the curb for just that unless he's being rude about it or just keeps pestering you about it. You have to understand a lot of girls say stuff like that even if they don't mean so guys won't think they're sloots. It may just be an isolated incident where he decided to shoot his shot. Shooting him down may have put him in his place so he knows he's not dealing with sloot and he could be a perfect gentleman from now on

[FemaleWarriorxo]

Tell me if I'm understanding the situation.

- You clarify with classmate your position on sex timing on the first date. He says he understands and wants to go on a second

- After one date he makes sexual innuendo and then clarifies that yes he does want to do the grownup

- You tell him no and refuse the 2nd date

If this is the case, I'm not sure I'd kick him to the curb for just that unless he's being rude about it or just keeps pestering you about it. You have to understand a lot of girls say stuff like that even if they don't mean so guys won't think they're sloots. It may just be an isolated incident where he decided to shoot his shot. Shooting him down may have put him in his place so he knows he's not dealing with sloot and he could be a perfect gentleman from now on

Somewhat right. I didn’t refuse the second date just stated I won’t be sexual. He insists that’s what they all say lol then I sent him a Trump gif saying “wrong”. He laughed. So I told him we can do a regular study date and to let me know when he’s available. He just hasn’t responded much lol I didn’t cut him out. I actually enjoy his company and I expect a man to push for sex lol

[TBO1313]

Somewhat right. I didn’t refuse the second date just stated I won’t be sexual. He insists that’s what they all say lol then I sent him a Trump gif saying “wrong”. He laughed. So I told him we can do a regular study date and to let me know when he’s available. He just hasn’t responded much lol I didn’t cut him out. I actually enjoy his company and I expect a man to push for sex lol

Ok I just misread the situation

[FemaleWarriorxo]

Ok I just misread the situation

I just didn’t give enough info lol

But seriously liked the classmate and I didn’t even make a big deal about the sex question. never do unless they throw a fit lmao

[TBO1313]

I just didn’t give enough info lol

But seriously liked the classmate and I didn’t even make a big deal about the sex question. never do unless they throw a fit lmao

Well it sucks that you seemed to like him cause if he instantly slowed down communication when he realized sex wasn't on the table its a very bad sign

[Luc1fer]

Well it sucks that you seemed to like him cause if he instantly slowed down communication when he realized sex wasn't on the table its a very bad sign

It’s the signal she was looking for, I’d say that’s success. But ye still gonna be disappointing.

I love that there’s still women like you out there btw. My ex and her friends disturbed me I think in this area.

It still slightly bothers me that she slept with so many men and had such a lax attitude on sex. I’m not sure why it bothers me tbh, we aren’t together anymore, just the thought of it kept bothering me. I guess I’ll just accept that I can’t be with women with high counts and promiscuous nature.

[FemaleWarriorxo]

Well it sucks that you seemed to like him cause if he instantly slowed down communication when he realized sex wasn't on the table its a very bad sign

Yeah, definitely a bad sign. Which sucks. Our personalities matched 90%. Oh well. No need to get upset over someone ghosting basically.

It’s the signal she was looking for, I’d say that’s success. But ye still gonna be disappointing.

I love that there’s still women like you out there btw. My ex and her friends disturbed me I think in this area.

It still slightly bothers me that she slept with so many men and had such a lax attitude on sex. I’m not sure why it bothers me tbh, we aren’t together anymore, just the thought of it kept bothering me. I guess I’ll just accept that I can’t be with women with high counts and promiscuous nature.

In a way it was a signal, but it honestly blows when you truly like someone. It also gets tiring after awhile. Hyper sexual feminism has basically ruin the dating market for me.

Yee, I love how I am and will never change it. I’m sure you’ll find that rare gem one day. Can’t imagine how long it’ll take in that area tho lol

Do you hate yourself for getting involved with her over it? That, or are you regretting the fact you let your standards down a bit?

[Luc1fer]

Yeah, definitely a bad sign. Which sucks. Our personalities matched 90%. Oh well. No need to get upset over someone ghosting basically.

In a way it was a signal, but it honestly blows when you truly like someone. It also gets tiring after awhile. Hyper sexual feminism has basically ruin the dating market for me.

Yee, I love how I am and will never change it. I’m sure you’ll find that rare gem one day. Can’t imagine how long it’ll take in that area tho lol

Do you hate yourself for getting involved with her over it? That, or are you regretting the fact you let your standards down a bit?

Ye, sorry that sucks. I can see how rough it is out there for women like you - hypersexual feminism has hurt you too. I do actually think it ultimately hurts most of those women too.

No, I never hate myself over it. I consciously let my standards down tbh, people think they're too high (here and then IRL I've had mentions), so I wanted to be humble and let go a bit.

Turned out lowering my standards resulted in me being with someone with low integrity, who viewed sexual relations very liberally, and as you know ended up fulfilling those flags I consciously tried to look past.

[DustinTheHuss]

Why did you screenshot her profile? Or was it an accident?

You absolutely do not need to give in and use Snapchat. This will absolutely not be a dealbreaker when you find the right women and as you just learned, using it poorly when you're not comfortable with it is more likely to mess things up than anything.

"Poor impulse control" and over texting and the incessant swiping and having dozens of convo's going on at once indicates you either crave validation or are desperate in one way or another so the problem lies further beneath the surface than what you mentioned.

I screenshotted her profile on purpose because it's so easy to slip your finger and unmatched someone on Bumble. I figured I could at least get her Snapchat and have a friend message her if I accidentally unmatched her. I was overthinking.

Yup you hit the nail on the head. I've been working on it with a professional. It's kind of a waste of the other person's time when I have little to no time to meet someone. I last had time for one coffee date 4 weeks ago, and that took up way too much time on a Sunday for me, in between taking care of my aunt, daughter and other responsibilities. The coffee date wasn't a match at all, and we both agreed to part our separate ways. Since then I just had multiple root canals and other family stuff, as well as getting ready for a camping trip, so I was out hiking a lot.

I kind of miss how it was in the early part of the pandemic when I wasn't rushing around everywhere. Now I feel like I'm getting back to that.

[skinnyfat88]

I screenshotted her profile on purpose because it's so easy to slip your finger and unmatched someone on Bumble. I figured I could at least get her Snapchat and have a friend message her if I accidentally unmatched her. I was overthinking.

Yup you hit the nail on the head. I've been working on it with a professional. It's kind of a waste of the other person's time when I have little to no time to meet someone. I last had time for one coffee date 4 weeks ago, and that took up way too much time on a Sunday for me, in between taking care of my aunt, daughter and other responsibilities. The coffee date wasn't a match at all, and we both agreed to part our separate ways. Since then I just had multiple root canals and other family stuff, as well as getting ready for a camping trip, so I was out hiking a lot.

I kind of miss how it was in the early part of the pandemic when I wasn't rushing around everywhere. Now I feel like I'm getting back to that.

I'm confused. She already added you on snapchat. Why did you need a screenshot??

Sorry to hear man. That sucks when you want to get out and date but don't have the time so I see how it's easy to get impatient and think you've found something before you actually have.

Lesson learned though and be smarter next time.