Matches have pretty much died ³

[skinnyfat88]

I randomly got a gf and all I can say is literally everything I was told about women was wrong. It is almost 100% based on emotional connection and "spark". Your flaws will become meaningless if she feels it. She will actively ignore all red flags and just go with it and throw herself at you even when you are objectively a trash pick.

Based on my anecdotal and limited evidence, dating success is based on psychological responses and chemical factors leading to emotional bonds. Physical attractiveness, wealth, etc help, but don't really make the difference. Ultimately, very little of any of this is actually in your control. We are just biological machines. It's purely a numbers game. But this should shock no one since this is how business success and so many other things in life work. Literally everything just boils down to math so this shouldn't shock people at all.

Yes but typically the more emotionally mature someone is the less likely they will be won over (at least beyond something very short-term) by charm/spark and will look for integrity and compatibility in addition to chemistry.

[fishnbrah]

girl sent me an opener "I can tell by the size of your forehead, I'll always be on your mind."

BLocked her. Reaelly hurt by **** like this. hate women

A chick with a sense of humor? Lucky.

Seems every girl I’ve ever talked to gets butt hurt over anything

[imbored21]

Ugh anohter female family member got engaged to a dating app Chad. These apps are life changing for women and life ruining for men.

[LogicalLifts]

I can't believe this thread (version) is still going after years. Has OP made any progress?

On another note, if you truly want to be left alone, you need to make sacrifices such as not going to places where the majority of people are men especially the pool places. Lol. You cannot expect men to stop trying to pick you up since you are an attractive woman. You just have to avoid them.

To be fair, a single person should be able to go out and have a drink with friends and not have folks trying to pick them up all the time. In my single phases I did this, and had women hit on me - perversely, my saying I'm not looking for anything had some go into a frenzy for me. But folks who aren't "looking" for anything shouldn't have to be shut-ins to avoid being flirted with, right? Body language counts for a lot - or it should.

[imbored21]

A chick with a sense of humor? Lucky.

Seems every girl I’ve ever talked to gets butt hurt over anything

she was 300 pounds and black. i blocked her

[skinnyfat88]

To be fair, a single person should be able to go out and have a drink with friends and not have folks trying to pick them up all the time. In my single phases I did this, and had women hit on me - perversely, my saying I'm not looking for anything had some go into a frenzy for me. But folks who aren't "looking" for anything shouldn't have to be shut-ins to avoid being flirted with, right? Body language counts for a lot - or it should.

If people don't want to be flirted with or talk to "strangers," they should just need to be polite and direct and say they aren't interested/want to be left alone/etc

& people who get rejected politely need to not continue to persist and not make the rejecter feel bad for doing so.

[WINeCELlar]

Yes but typically the more emotionally mature someone is the less likely they will be won over (at least beyond something very short-term) by charm/spark and will look for integrity and compatibility in addition to chemistry.

She might look for all those things.

[imbored21]

I gotta get off the apps and start htting on ABGs in the gym. Sucks cause I'm soo shy. Wish a girl would just ask me out.




Reddit girl wonders if it's normal to get 2700 likes in 24hrs on bumble

https://www.reddit.com/r/Bumble/comm...2500_likes_is/



Reddit guy wonders why he hasn't got 1 like in 4 months on bumble



https://www.reddit.com/r/Bumble/comm..._in_4_what_am/

[gericon]

girl sent me an opener "I can tell by the size of your forehead, I'll always be on your mind."

BLocked her. Reaelly hurt by **** like this. hate women

I would do the same

[InsanePain11]

Feel like I’m not great at scheduling dates sometimes. Like making it easy and straightforward. What’s your guys strategy typically and what works for you?
If I text a girl Thursday I usually ask if they’re free early the following week. I don’t ask for the weekend since I feel it makes it seem like I have no plans (half the time I don’t). Is this a dumb strategy? On the other hand, if I text Monday or tues I’ll try and schedule weekend.

Also many times after work Monday Tuesday people seem less energetic since it’s so early in the work week. Maybe I’m overthinking this based on one or two experiences.

I’m pretty choosy with who I invite on dates. I’d say when I try to schedule via text it ends up happening like 66% of the time or it fizzled out. Admittedly sometimes I lose interest too so it goes both ways. But if they gave me their number I’m gonna try and schedule a date at least. Then I gauge their interest and if they seem worth the time (which I also gauge during messaging)

Girl I’m texting, I just suggested drinks either Monday or Tuesday (gave me certain times). So I’ll probably go for Tuesday with her. She’s from hinge, we’re different in some ways, not sure we’re each others type besides initial attraction but she’s cute with a great smile and seems like she has a positive attitude.

I have a tentative date this Saturday with another hinge girl. Short blonde, Seems like she’s down to just hangout go to the beach and drink.

I shall report back y’all. We need more date logs in here. This forum has gotten quite slow recently. Does everyone go to other forums?

[4North1Side2]

Feel like I’m not great at scheduling dates sometimes. Like making it easy and straightforward. What’s your guys strategy typically and what works for you?
If I text a girl Thursday I usually ask if they’re free early the following week. I don’t ask for the weekend since I feel it makes it seem like I have no plans (half the time I don’t). Is this a dumb strategy? On the other hand, if I text Monday or tues I’ll try and schedule weekend.

Also many times after work Monday Tuesday people seem less energetic since it’s so early in the work week. Maybe I’m overthinking this based on one or two experiences.

I’m pretty choosy with who I invite on dates. I’d say when I try to schedule via text it ends up happening like 66% of the time or it fizzled out. Admittedly sometimes I lose interest too so it goes both ways. But if they gave me their number I’m gonna try and schedule a date at least. Then I gauge their interest and if they seem worth the time (which I also gauge during messaging)

Girl I’m texting, I just suggested drinks either Monday or Tuesday (gave me certain times). So I’ll probably go for Tuesday with her. She’s from hinge, we’re different in some ways, not sure we’re each others type besides initial attraction but she’s cute with a great smile and seems like she has a positive attitude.

I have a tentative date this Saturday with another hinge girl. Short blonde, Seems like she’s down to just hangout go to the beach and drink.

I shall report back y’all. We need more date logs in here. This forum has gotten quite slow recently. Does everyone go to other forums?

"Hey we should meet sometime, just let me know when you are free"

Lol I don't know why y'all turn dating into algebra making it hard for no damn reason.

[imbored21]

"Hey we should meet sometime, just let me know when you are free"

Lol I don't know why y'all turn dating into algebra making it hard for no damn reason.

this only works for Chads. Us normies gotta jestermax.

[InsanePain11]

"Hey we should meet sometime, just let me know when you are free"

Lol I don't know why y'all turn dating into algebra making it hard for no damn reason.

I tend to make everything more difficult lately. Shiet. Gotta relax and not over analyze.

[Luc1fer]

I tend to make everything more difficult lately. Shiet. Gotta relax and not over analyze.

It isn't lately though, you've been overthinking for years. Probably worth addressing. I've worked on mine.

[InsanePain11]

It isn't lately though, you've been overthinking for years. Probably worth addressing. I've worked on mine.

True brah. I am working on it for sure. I’ve been practicing some good things regarding being more conscious of these thoughts and remembering to observe them. Getting better at letting go (little and big things) and living in the moment. I can feel improvement the last couple months even. I read a couple books that really resonated. I’m sticking with it to grow better habits daily, this will be a lifelong thing but I’m seeing an immediate impact because I’m practicing it. There will be some bumps in the road but I’ll keep improving.

[InsanePain11]

Just met a hinge date. We’re supposed to meet at a bar I suggested but we rerouted because it was unexpectedly closed. I suggest another bar and we go there. Decent convo but for whatever reason a spark probably wasn’t there. Sweet girl but not sure we have same goals. Again, got the vibe she hangs with too many dudes.

Anyways she texted me before I got home to text her. She said just wanted to say thanks for the drink. And it was nice to meet you 🙃. I’m taking that as it was nice but she also felt like we won’t move forward. I’m just curious if you read that text the same way?

[Luc1fer]

Anyways she texted me before I got home to text her. She said just wanted to say thanks for the drink. And it was nice to meet you ������. I’m taking that as it was nice but she also felt like we won’t move forward. I’m just curious if you read that text the same way?

There's no way to know, but it's usually a sign of interest. So I'd say stop guessing before we have 10 speculative responses on here, and just ask her if she's interested in meeting again (if you are).

[InsanePain11]

There's no way to know, but it's usually a sign of interest. So I'd say stop guessing before we have 10 speculative responses on here, and just ask her if she's interested in meeting again (if you are).

For sure brahtha. Gonna sleep on it. For me it was an ok date, she’s harder to read than normal. She did show interest/engagement with me. I’d maybe be up for seeing her again. She said she was tired from work, have a feeling she’s normally a bit more outgoing. I did feel a slight connection but my gut is saying if I ask her she won’t say yes about a second date. Whenever I get a text saying “it was nice to meet you” I read that as “for the last time” lol. Something about it.

I replied just saying my pleasure, was just going to text you. Had a nice time with you tonight

Will keep posted if I ask her out again.

[Luc1fer]

For sure brahtha. Gonna sleep on it. For me it was an ok date, she’s harder to read than normal. She did show interest/engagement with me. I’d maybe be up for seeing her again. She said she was tired from work, have a feeling she’s normally a bit more outgoing. I did feel a slight connection but my gut is saying if I ask her she won’t say yes about a second date. Whenever I get a text saying “it was nice to meet you” I read that as “for the last time” lol. Something about it.

I replied just saying my pleasure, was just going to text you. Had a nice time with you tonight

Will keep posted if I ask her out again.

I've had dates which I think didn't go great, and then she's been interested in meeting again.

I just learned how terrible my competition is in the dating world. A lot of men are weirdos, creeps, arrogant, fake/superficial etc.

Getting the initial date with reasonably attractive (even looksmatched) women via online dating is the difficult part.

[xbluexhawkx]

I've had dates which I think didn't go great, and then she's been interested in meeting again.

I just learned how terrible my competition is in the dating world. A lot of men are weirdos, creeps, arrogant, fake/superficial etc.

Getting the initial date with reasonably attractive (even looksmatched) women via online dating is the difficult part.

Dates are about as random as job apps I swear

I've had women way less attractive than me not want another date while HBB's would be hooked

Makes no sense

[skinnyfat88]

I've had dates which I think didn't go great, and then she's been interested in meeting again.

I just learned how terrible my competition is in the dating world. A lot of men are weirdos, creeps, arrogant, fake/superficial etc.

Getting the initial date with reasonably attractive (even looksmatched) women via online dating is the difficult part.

More or less agree with this.

I've definitely begun to understand the appeal of approaching IRL more (not just at bars/events).

[Luc1fer]

Dates are about as random as job apps I swear

I've had women way less attractive than me not want another date while HBB's would be hooked

Makes no sense

Women do have a lot more variation in what they find attractive vs men. There’s a term called nichemaxxing in autistpill community which indexes on the concept.

I've definitely begun to understand the appeal of approaching IRL more (not just at bars/events).

If you have a semi decent personality it’s probably the way to go. I do like the filtering aspect of online dating though.

[legbroke]

Women do have a lot more variation in what they find attractive vs men. There’s a term called nichemaxxing in autistpill community which indexes on the concept.

Nichemaxxing isn't just an ibby thing? Also is autistpill real or a joke term? Can't tell srs

[Luc1fer]

Nichemaxxing isn't just an ibby thing? Also is autistpill real or a joke term? Can't tell srs

I just made up autistpill

[legbroke]

I just made up autistpill

Gotcha, just can't tell at this point lol.

Intredasting. I feel like it's got some merit and is a development in the right direction for struggling people - seems closer to accepting your faults and working with them and developing yourself into someone you want to be rather than just trying to be really really good looking.

[InsanePain11]

I've had dates which I think didn't go great, and then she's been interested in meeting again.

I just learned how terrible my competition is in the dating world. A lot of men are weirdos, creeps, arrogant, fake/superficial etc.

Getting the initial date with reasonably attractive (even looksmatched) women via online dating is the difficult part.

Agreed. That’s definitely true about competition. Some people are trainwrecks, inconsiderate, obnoxious, or have no self awareness. If a girl is smart enough to care about and read those cues, she’ll weed those out and be more likely to appreciate a man with good traits.

Anyways, I reached back out to that girl for a second date. She replied by venting about a work situation from today, then said yeah sounds good to me. Gonna see when she’s free and meet up again most likely. Not sure about this girl but the traits I did like lured me enough to message.

Pros are she can converse, is cute, seems family oriented and responsible. She was respectful in terms of thanking me for the date which I always appreciate. Also there was a first date tmi moment where I told her about something sad that happened, didn’t mean to but it came up on topic, and she showed empathy about it which I like.

Cons for me are we prob aren’t aligned a lot politically, she just went on a 10 day trip overseas and I learned in the first date it was with a guy..I thought I heard her say he’s a friend so I don’t want to judge too much. But I wondered how much she’s known him and if they were ever romantic. He could be gay for all I know. I think she mentioned another guy friend once, actually she knew the bartender from another bar he worked at, and he I think mentioned some guy they both know. Just thought that was interesting and took a mental note. I don’t usually care for the types of girls that hang with guys a lot, but I don’t want to judge too much since I don’t know her.

[Luc1fer]

Cons for me are we prob aren’t aligned a lot politically, she just went on a 10 day trip overseas and I learned in the first date it was with a guy..I thought I heard her say he’s a friend so I don’t want to judge too much. But I wondered how much she’s known him and if they were ever romantic. He could be gay for all I know. I think she mentioned another guy friend once, actually she knew the bartender from another bar he worked at, and he I think mentioned some guy they both know. Just thought that was interesting and took a mental note. I don’t usually care for the types of girls that hang with guys a lot, but I don’t want to judge too much since I don’t know her.

Reminds me of a date I went on, and the girl mentioned she lived with a guy when it came up in conversation. I questioned her on it. Claimed he was just a friend, but I dug in more and they had a history - he had helped her with stuff professionally too. And wasn't gay.

Just a massive red flag. IDK wtf these women are thinking, but there's all sorts of people out there so I guess some don't care, are sexually liberal, poly, don't see it as an issue (rationalize it as: if a guy cares, he's insecure) etc.

[InsanePain11]

Reminds me of a date I went on, and the girl mentioned she lived with a guy when it came up in conversation. I questioned her on it. Claimed he was just a friend, but I dug in more and they had a history - he had helped her with stuff professionally too. And wasn't gay.

Just a massive red flag. IDK wtf these women are thinking, but there's all sorts of people out there so I guess some don't care, are sexually liberal, poly, don't see it as an issue (rationalize it as: if a guy cares, he's insecure) etc.

Yea man. It was at the very start of our date when I asked about her trip, I decided not to grill her on it in the moment. But it stood out and it is a flag for sure. It was tough because I was having trouble hearing her with the music that was on. I’ll have to ask her to get clarity if I see her again. But I don’t like it. I’m not naive so I know Most people would be fuking on a 10 day trip if they are staying together. Although I have seen people just be friends with no interest before. Yea if she’s that type to fuk around or not want monogamy I’m not wanting to waste time with her.

[Luc1fer]

Yea man. It was at the very start of our date when I asked about her trip, I decided not to grill her on it in the moment. But it stood out and it is a flag for sure. It was tough because I was having trouble hearing her with the music that was on. I’ll have to ask her to get clarity if I see her again. But I don’t like it. I’m not naive so I know Most people would be fuking on a 10 day trip if they are staying together. Although I have seen people just be friends with no interest before. Yea if she’s that type to fuk around or not want monogamy I’m not wanting to waste time with her.

I also try not to judge too much, but these early indicators are a good thing to take a note of and watch out for patterns.

It's amazing how much signal you can get early on in dating by just listening.

Example: if you came out the gate and indicated your dislike for women that have lots of guy friends, she would just hide all that info.

It's better for both parties if each person reveals more of themselves early on. But fine to dig in for context. Context can eliminate a red flag.

[InsanePain11]

I also try not to judge too much, but these early indicators are a good thing to take a note of and watch out for patterns.

It's amazing how much signal you can get early on in dating by just listening.

Example: if you came out the gate and indicated your dislike for women that have lots of guy friends, she would just hide all that info.

It's better for both parties if each person reveals more of themselves early on. But fine to dig in for context. Context can eliminate a red flag.

I totally agree. I try to balance the not judging too much with also being honest with myself about red flags. It’s a bit harder in the very beginning because you barely know the person. Right now I don’t feel that great that she was on a long trip with a dude just a couple weeks ago, but again I don’t know the context.
I’ve ended things or stopped pursuing a couple girls even in the past 2 years over things that looking back, didn’t probably have to be deal breakers. But I have to trust my gut and know I made those calls for real reasons. Also it’s important to differentiate potential small personality flaws, with red flag dealbreakers.

So I’m making 2nd date plans with this recent hinge girl. Thursday I texted her and that night she said shes pretty free Sunday Monday.. Texted her Friday morning to suggest a spot for drinks Sun afternoon. She didn’t reply all day Friday and texted to confirm this AM, saying’sorry I realized I never replied but yea that sounds good to me 🙃”
I think I’ll meet her tomorrow but little things like that don’t look great to me.