Matches have pretty much died ³

[Luc1fer]

Has any woman here ever paid more than their share in a relationship?

I feel like I've always ended up paying a bit more, but it's varied a lot depending on the girl and her financial situation.

Across the board though, women seem to be perfectly content with allowing men to pay for stuff. While I always feel the urge to pay my share.

It's weird how society just doesn't accept this as an innate difference between the sexes. Women have careers blah blah. Honestly, it doesn't change their natural/innate desires and behavior.

Am I wrong? Biased? What is it within your mind as a woman that makes you not feel the desire to pay your share?

I'm convinced it's an innate (protector/provider desire) thing, but curious if any woman here can articulate it.

[FemaleWarriorxo]

Has any woman here ever paid more than their share in a relationship?

I feel like I've always ended up paying a bit more, but it's varied a lot depending on the girl and her financial situation.

Across the board though, women seem to be perfectly content with allowing men to pay for stuff. While I always feel the urge to pay my share.

It's weird how society just doesn't accept this as an innate difference between the sexes. Women have careers blah blah. Honestly, it doesn't change their natural/innate desires and behavior.

Am I wrong? Biased? What is it within your mind as a woman that makes you not feel the desire to pay your share?

I'm convinced it's an innate (protector/provider desire) thing, but curious if any woman here can articulate it.

I’m going to answer the bold first.

Traditional training. However, I stopped viewing dating as that and now I will mostly expect my husband to become the provider. Not some guy I’ve barely known.

Society doe not accept the differences because of many reasons. You will never get one answer to this question.

I have paid more in relationships and it has made some men feel bad. I will probably do it more often due to the fact some men will like they are owed something if they pay more than you lol

[Luc1fer]

I’m going to answer the bold first.

Traditional training. However, I stopped viewing dating as that and now I will mostly expect my husband to become the provider. Not some guy I’ve barely known.

Society doe not accept the differences because of many reasons. You will never get one answer to this question.

I have paid more in relationships and it has made some men feel bad. I will probably do it more often due to the fact some men will like they are owed something if they pay more than you lol

Thanks, I think it’s difficult to even get an honest answer to this question. And that includes the male perspective.

I agree with you on the distinction between gf and wife (with children involved and stay home role). My LTR ex and I got into some arguments about this exact topic.

From my perspective, I will admit that there’s an innately good feeling to paying for dinner or whatever. It fulfills some innate desire which is difficult to pinpoint, related to being a provider/protector. I have talked to women that admitted the opposite role. It makes them feel good deep down when the man is taking care of her (regardless of her own ability to pay).

As to men who pay expecting sex, I’m sure they exist too.

This is why I draw a nuanced distinction between gold diggers and just regular women with innate desires.

[DustinTheHuss]

Has any woman here ever paid more than their share in a relationship?

I feel like I've always ended up paying a bit more, but it's varied a lot depending on the girl and her financial situation.

Across the board though, women seem to be perfectly content with allowing men to pay for stuff. While I always feel the urge to pay my share.

It's weird how society just doesn't accept this as an innate difference between the sexes. Women have careers blah blah. Honestly, it doesn't change their natural/innate desires and behavior.

Am I wrong? Biased? What is it within your mind as a woman that makes you not feel the desire to pay your share?

I'm convinced it's an innate (protector/provider desire) thing, but curious if any woman here can articulate it.

Yes, I've paid more than my share with the much younger ones, or one broke one in Florida who was in his 30s.

Now husband was much older than I am so he was already working when I was in high school and college. I would pay the tip and try to contribute somewhat when we went out to dinner. Then when I finally graduated college I was making half than he was, but we just got married then. I felt badly about my hourly rate, yet he said "it's better than nothing". Then I started to advance and catch up to him in terms of income. Still, he controls the finances and I have to ask him for permission to buy a big purchase, but he would never ask me. Even now that annoys me.

Since you are most likely going to be the higher earner and you date younger women, I think in most cases you will be paying more than your share in a relationship.

[Luc1fer]

Since you are most likely going to be the higher earner and you date younger women, I think in most cases you will be paying more than your share in a relationship.

Is that “fair”? If a younger woman is earning good money with expendable income, should I pay more even if I earn twice as much? Genuine question.

[DustinTheHuss]

Is that “fair”? If a younger woman is earning good money with expendable income, should I pay more even if I earn twice as much? Genuine question.

No I don't think you should while you date. If she is earning good money with expendable income, then you should split the expenses in half.

[FemaleWarriorxo]

Is that “fair”? If a younger woman is earning good money with expendable income, should I pay more even if I earn twice as much? Genuine question.

https://voca.ro/16qXiclGhY4p

[Luc1fer]

No I don't think you should while you date. If she is earning good money with expendable income, then you should split the expenses in half.

https://voca.ro/16qXiclGhY4p

We’re all in agreement logically but per my points above, it never really works out that way in practice.

And ye lol at women in 2021. They have no idea what they want.

[DustinTheHuss]

We’re all in agreement logically but per my points above, it never really works out that way in practice.

And ye lol at women in 2021. They have no idea what they want.

I have a friend who is dating a wealthier man and he pays for my dinner and hers when I'm in town! Talk about getting the royal treatment.

[FemaleWarriorxo]

We’re all in agreement logically but per my points above, it never really works out that way in practice.

And ye lol at women in 2021. They have no idea what they want.

It never really works out easily in relationships. Most people like putting on a cover lul

Men and women my age don’t know what they want in 2021. Drives me crazy

[Luc1fer]

I have a friend who is dating a wealthier man and he pays for my dinner and hers when I'm in town! Talk about getting the royal treatment.

I could afford to do stuff like that, but my sense of justice/fairness wouldn’t align to it.

To be fair in terms of examples, most women I’ve dated have either been in (student) debt or close to broke. So I’d feel okay paying a bit more in general. One or two just straight up always paid 50/50 though.

I don’t want to overthink it too much, but I was mostly curious about how male vs female mind works in these situations. There’s obviously a big difference.

[DustinTheHuss]

Finances is such a tough one, as you can see with this guy, he will pay for everything. Some men, especially ones over 40, still believe they have to pay for the dates.

Edit: At least I called you a "Chad of the Misc" in EOD's thread.

Remember that he saw me in the FA Chat cam, so he stated that I'm a woman.

[Luc1fer]

You never know, I could be a woman.

[FemaleWarriorxo]

You never know, I could be a woman.

[FemaleWarriorxo]

Lmao not opening the dating apps anymore today

Obviously a catfish account lul


Bleh.

[DustinTheHuss]

^^^^^ Yikes! This is what I hate about dating apps, is that so many men ask about sex . See what we women have to deal with, Lucy? We get a lot of matches, but a lot of them are dirty old men.

From his profile he sounds like a decent guy with a lot of prospects, but then he shows his true self. Or he could be married or have a gf.

You never know, I could be a woman.

Hahahah I deserve that one

[DoYouEvenNEM]

^^^^^ Yikes! This is what I hate about dating apps, is that so many men ask about sex . See what we women have to deal with, Lucy? We get a lot of matches, but a lot of them are dirty old men.

From his profile he sounds like a decent guy with a lot of prospects, but then he shows his true self. Or he could be married or have a gf.



Hahahah I deserve that one

That's because there's too many autistic bishes on these dating apps who are "friendship only" in spite of there being a literal BFF mode on Bumble that they should be using but don't.


BTW it says a lot about a woman if she can't make friends in real life the normal way (and please don't go "it's a pandemic". These bishes were on the apps before it started).

[DustinTheHuss]

That's because there's too many autistic bishes on these dating apps who are "friendship only" in spite of there being a literal BFF mode on Bumble that they should be using but don't.


BTW it says a lot about a woman if she can't make friends in real life the normal way (and please don't go "it's a pandemic". These bishes were on the apps before it started).

I've never heard of women being on there just for "friends", except for SS who likes sexting partners, but that's not just friends. Do you seriously see profiles like that?

I have plenty of female friends that I text daily from high school and tennis. I'm not on dating apps to make "friends", I just would rather have a dating partner who is interested in more than the fact that I have DDs and wants to see what they look like.

[SwimLiftRunGrl]

she's had blood work done and all that jazz recently and she is surprisingly healthy for her age.

My buddy had the same breed and his dog went 18 yrs. (black lab hound mix) for a large dog she is old.
before her i only had shepherd mixes and they usually lived 10-12 yrs.

Yay! That is great news that she is healthy. Hope she feels better and get back to her normal self. Thank you for the information on dog's life span. Mine is half basenji/chihuahua.

Awww it’s so hard to watch them get old.

I just gave my kitty his fluids under the skin this morning. It’s not easy to put a needle in a moving cat for two minutes.

Hope he feels better soon. I should not be reading these sad news in the morning.

Yeah, surprisingly I was semi lucky with that lol
In a way, it makes sense for men that are insecure or narcissistic.

Thick? Well, most men in my area prefer women like

Even Christina Hendricks I’d consider thick lol

Took out the images. But yes the first two images are pretty hefty to me. lol. The last pic is nice but somehow it does not look right to my eyes with her hips. But again I like Chun-Li's body. Lol.

Has any woman here ever paid more than their share in a relationship?

I feel like I've always ended up paying a bit more, but it's varied a lot depending on the girl and her financial situation.

Across the board though, women seem to be perfectly content with allowing men to pay for stuff. While I always feel the urge to pay my share.

It's weird how society just doesn't accept this as an innate difference between the sexes. Women have careers blah blah. Honestly, it doesn't change their natural/innate desires and behavior.

Am I wrong? Biased? What is it within your mind as a woman that makes you not feel the desire to pay your share?

I'm convinced it's an innate (protector/provider desire) thing, but curious if any woman here can articulate it.

If I said that I paid more than my share in the relationship would you still believe it? I have a feeling you won't because you already made up your mind.

Growing up I see my parents always fighting to pay the bills with their friends when we go out to eat. Maybe this is more of an Asian thing than being traditional. In turn my siblings and I always fight over to pay the bill when we go out to eat. I fight with my friends to pay the bills when we go out to eat too. lol

With all my relationships, I paid more because I make more than them. I feel bad for them to pay more when they make less than me. Of course they pay too but not as much. As long as I know they are not cheapskates then I don't mind.

Now if I was to be a SAHM then yes the husband should pay. But I will be like my sister and be a day trader to bring additional income. Lol

If my husband wants to be a SAHD then I am fine working and paying everything.

[Luc1fer]

BTW it says a lot about a woman if she can't make friends in real life the normal way

I disagree. What does it say about a woman?

There are no rules about how people can or should make friends. The internet can be a great way for like-minded people to find friendships.

What if a person just moved to a new area, for example?

If I said that I paid more than my share in the relationship would you still believe it? I have a feeling you won't because you already made up your mind.

With all my relationships, I paid more because I make more than them. I feel bad for them to pay more when they make less than me. Of course they pay too but not as much. As long as I know they are not cheapskates then I don't mind.

Now if I was to be a SAHM then yes the husband should pay. But I will be like my sister and be a day trader to bring additional income. Lol

If my husband wants to be a SAHD then I am fine working and paying everything.

I believe it. I think it's unfair for you to assert I've already made up my mind. I actually know one of my exes paid the majority in one of her relationships.

I find myself in the same position w.r.t paying a bit more because I make more.

How do you think about that in terms of "fairness" though? I assume you feel it's fair for you to pay more. Can you articulate why, if they also have expendable income?

[twovalvekid]

May be late to the party, but downloaded Tinder again a few weeks ago and got the usual new user boost. Got gold to snag matches and the 5 superlikes a day.

Looks like they've "nerfed" super likes since it actually shows up to the other person as a "superlike" and not just add me to the top of their pile.

[Mr Beer]

That's because there's too many autistic bishes on these dating apps who are "friendship only" in spite of there being a literal BFF mode on Bumble that they should be using but don't.

BTW it says a lot about a woman if she can't make friends in real life the normal way (and please don't go "it's a pandemic". These bishes were on the apps before it started).

Sounds more like they're "attention only"?

[FemaleWarriorxo]

^^^^^ Yikes! This is what I hate about dating apps, is that so many men ask about sex . See what we women have to deal with, Lucy? We get a lot of matches, but a lot of them are dirty old men.

From his profile he sounds like a decent guy with a lot of prospects, but then he shows his true self. Or he could be married or have a gf

On the 5th guy today. Gave my # to all and 3/4 automatically jumped to sex. Makes me lol.

On a side note, doing that lesbian profile has lead me to make a friend in the same field as me. We plan to meet up for coffee.

[SwimLiftRunGrl]

I believe it. I think it's unfair for you to assert I've already made up my mind. I actually know one of my exes paid the majority in one of her relationships.

Because I read this in your post. If I am wrong then I apologize.

Across the board though, women seem to be perfectly content with allowing men to pay for stuff. While I always feel the urge to pay my share.

It's weird how society just doesn't accept this as an innate difference between the sexes. Women have careers blah blah. Honestly, it doesn't change their natural/innate desires and behavior.

I find myself in the same position w.r.t paying a bit more because I make more.

How do you think about that in terms of "fairness" though? I assume you feel it's fair for you to pay more. Can you articulate why, if they also have expendable income?

This is my reasoning. I need to take responsibility of my decisions. If I choose to pay then I should not feel unfair if the other person does not pay. It was my decision to do so I have only myself to blame. If I feel that the person is a cheapskate or don't want to spend money on me then of course I stop paying. You can tell over time. Hope that makes sense.

On the 5th guy today. Gave my # to all and 3/4 automatically jumped to sex. Makes me lol.

On a side note, doing that lesbian profile has lead me to make a friend in the same field as me. We plan to meet up for coffee.

They probably feel braver over dating apps so they say whatever they want because they know that they can just go to another woman. Nothing for them to lose to ask for sex.

[Luc1fer]

Because I read this in your post. If I am wrong then I apologize.

Fair point, I meant generally but I did word it too strongly.

This is my reasoning. I need to take responsibility of my decisions. If I choose to pay then I should not feel unfair if the other person does not pay. It was my decision to do so I have only myself to blame. If I feel that the person is a cheapskate or don't want to spend money on me then of course I stop paying. You can tell over time. Hope that makes sense.

No, I’m asking what you think is objectively fairest?

If that conflicts with your subjective feeling of what’s fair (you paying more according to income differential), I’m curious how you resolve that.

E.g. if you earned $200k and he earned $100k, would you still pay more? For me it comes down to financial hardship. I care about the person and would contribute to removing some of that hardship.

I think for many guys, even if they both earned $200k, he’d end up paying the most due to the innate dynamics at play.

[FemaleWarriorxo]

They probably feel braver over dating apps so they say whatever they want because they know that they can just go to another woman. Nothing for them to lose to ask for sex.

They 100% feel a lot of braver over the internet.

Talking to a 20yr EMT. Enjoying it so far but the age..

[Luc1fer]

They 100% feel a lot of braver over the internet.

Talking to a 20yr EMT. Enjoying it so far but the age..

Ye that’s how I feel talking to 24yo

[FemaleWarriorxo]

Ye that’s how I feel talking to 24yo

I’d say the 4 years give an advantage but touché luci

[Luc1fer]

I’d say the 4 years give an advantage but touché luci

Ye it’s enough time to rack up 20+ count as per my ex, so pluses and minuses.

[MediocreGains]

E.g. if you earned $200k and he earned $100k, would you still pay more? For me it comes down to financial hardship. I care about the person and would contribute to removing some of that hardship.

I think for many guys, even if they both earned $200k, he’d end up paying the most due to the innate dynamics at play.

I paid more even when dating women who made more than me, at least in the beginning. Some of it is likely innate instinct, which has then been further reinforced through social norms.

With friends, I always go Dutch.