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  1. #301
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    Originally Posted by skinnyfat88 View Post
    I'm confused. She already added you on snapchat. Why did you need a screenshot??

    Sorry to hear man. That sucks when you want to get out and date but don't have the time so I see how it's easy to get impatient and think you've found something before you actually have.

    Lesson learned though and be smarter next time.
    I took the screenshot just so I had a record of her Snapchat info, but it was a bad idea.

    Well just like anything, if the person is extra special, then I would shift my time around to open up some free time. I think it's just finding that person.
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  2. #302
    Registered User Rebel012's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Luc1fer View Post
    It’s the signal she was looking for, I’d say that’s success. But ye still gonna be disappointing.

    I love that there’s still women like you out there btw. My ex and her friends disturbed me I think in this area.

    It still slightly bothers me that she slept with so many men and had such a lax attitude on sex. I’m not sure why it bothers me tbh, we aren’t together anymore, just the thought of it kept bothering me. I guess I’ll just accept that I can’t be with women with high counts and promiscuous nature.
    What was her count at 23? Honestly, that hang-up of yours is partly (though not completely) based on social construction. Promiscuity can be troubling in my view only because it signals that someone could potentially be unfaithful or lack loyalty in the context of a monogamous relationship. It sounds like your ex did lack those important traits, but my two cents is that you should still judge each person on an individual level.
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  3. #303
    🅳🅰🆂 🅸🆃 Luc1fer's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Rebel012 View Post
    What was her count at 23? Honestly, that hang-up of yours is partly (though not completely) based on social construction. Promiscuity can be troubling in my view only because it signals that someone could potentially be unfaithful or lack loyalty in the context of a monogamous relationship. It sounds like your ex did lack those important traits, but my two cents is that you should still judge each person on an individual level.
    I may be conflating my distaste for her general attitude and behavior towards sex and sexual stuff with her count.

    It bothered me so much though, I couldn't get the image of her having sex with some guy in the bathroom of the bar. It's difficult to shake the feeling of being a sucker building commitment to a woman that ****ed some random in a restroom. And given her 20 count [could be much higher] I'm sure that isn't isolated.

    Edit: can you believe this forum wouldn't let me post this with parentheses "(", I had to use "["
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  4. #304
    Registered User Legz422's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Luc1fer View Post
    I may be conflating my distaste for her general attitude and behavior towards sex and sexual stuff with her count.

    It bothered me so much though, I couldn't get the image of her having sex with some guy in the bathroom of the bar. It's difficult to shake the feeling of being a sucker building commitment to a woman that ****ed some random in a restroom. And given her 20 count [could be much higher] I'm sure that isn't isolated.

    Edit: can you believe this forum wouldn't let me post this with parentheses "(", I had to use "["
    If that bathroom incident was with a random then yeah, that's super trashy. I'd have a different opinion if with a boyfriend. I had a friend that once we were out dancing and she went outside and gave some random guy a bj, I was like WTF is wrong with you?!
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  5. #305
    Never Registered TBO1313's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Luc1fer View Post
    I may be conflating my distaste for her general attitude and behavior towards sex and sexual stuff with her count.

    It bothered me so much though, I couldn't get the image of her having sex with some guy in the bathroom of the bar. It's difficult to shake the feeling of being a sucker building commitment to a woman that ****ed some random in a restroom. And given her 20 count [could be much higher] I'm sure that isn't isolated.

    Edit: can you believe this forum wouldn't let me post this with parentheses "(", I had to use "["
    If she had sex with a random in the bar bathroom and told you she had only slept with 20 people there are 4 possibilities here.

    1. She didn't actually have sex in a bar bathroom (Why would she lie about this? Extremely unlikely)

    2. She was the chick raped by Ben Rothelisberger and too embarrassed to tell you (Again, extremely unlikely)

    3. She got a very late start on her sloot game and you caught her right as she was hitting her slooting stride (2nd most likely answer)

    4. She lowballed the chit outta that number and it is likely 3x higher than what she told you (Most likely answer)
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  6. #306
    Whale whale whale... FemaleWarriorxo's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Luc1fer View Post
    I may be conflating my distaste for her general attitude and behavior towards sex and sexual stuff with her count.

    It bothered me so much though, I couldn't get the image of her having sex with some guy in the bathroom of the bar. It's difficult to shake the feeling of being a sucker building commitment to a woman that ****ed some random in a restroom. And given her 20 count [could be much higher] I'm sure that isn't isolated.

    Edit: can you believe this forum wouldn't let me post this with parentheses "(", I had to use "["
    Yee, they honestly need to work on this forum.

    I wouldn’t say a “sucker” if you would have committed to her. More of settling for something you truly don’t want. Which I don’t see your standards as high, but this is coming from someone that probably has higher standards lol

    Settling is idiotic and doomed to fail. Lowering standards for fun? Sure. If that’s what you are into, but never lower them for commitment.

    Your ex’s count is definitely higher lol It’s common for women my age to do and it’s encouraged by our friends.
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  7. #307
    🅳🅰🆂 🅸🆃 Luc1fer's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Legz422 View Post
    If that bathroom incident was with a random then yeah, that's super trashy. I'd have a different opinion if with a boyfriend. I had a friend that once we were out dancing and she went outside and gave some random guy a bj, I was like WTF is wrong with you?!
    The incident lines up with her attitude on sex. That's my point about correlation. I think people that diminish the value, and view sex as nothing but harmless fun, are less likely to be loyal. What's wrong with that reasoning?
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  8. #308
    Registered User Legz422's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Luc1fer View Post
    The incident lines up with her attitude on sex. That's my point about correlation. I think people that diminish the value, and view sex as nothing but harmless fun, are less likely to be loyal. What's wrong with that reasoning?
    Nothing wrong with your reasoning, I agree.
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  9. #309
    Registered User Rebel012's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Luc1fer View Post
    The incident lines up with her attitude on sex. That's my point about correlation. I think people that diminish the value, and view sex as nothing but harmless fun, are less likely to be loyal. What's wrong with that reasoning?
    That correlation can and certainly does exist. My issue with it is that the inference you're drawing only works on the assumption that humans operate solely on impulse when it comes to these decisions, which isn't always the case. There could be an underlying cause driving both their attitude towards sex and their tendency to lack loyalty in a relationship, making the other correlation you mentioned spurious. I've known some people who treat sex in that fashion occasionally when single, but are committed and loyal when in a monogamous relationship.

    As an aside, that bathroom sex story with your ex happened to me when I was 27 or so. New Year's eve, at a club, she just came and kissed me on the dance floor, and the deal was closed later that night. Never really thought about what motivated her. It is kinda sleazy though, and I wouldn't do that again at this age.
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  10. #310
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    Originally Posted by FemaleWarriorxo View Post

    It’s common for women my age to do and it’s encouraged by our friends.
    Are you talking about lying about your count or having sex in dirty bathrooms?
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  11. #311
    Whale whale whale... FemaleWarriorxo's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by TBO1313 View Post
    Are you talking about lying about your count or having sex in dirty bathrooms?
    Kind of both? Mostly lying about the counts. However, a lot of women are encouraging sexual freedom so much that a lot will encourage you to get dink anywhere lol
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  12. #312
    Registered User SwimLiftRunGrl's Avatar
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    Was in the IT thread and got nosy and decided to poke into this thread. Hope everyone is doing well! Gotta go interview someone now.
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  13. #313
    Registered User Legz422's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by SwimLiftRunGrl View Post
    Was in the IT thread and got nosy and decided to poke into this thread. Hope everyone is doing well! Gotta go interview someone now.
    Hey girlo! How are you doing?
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  14. #314
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    Originally Posted by Rebel012 View Post
    That correlation can and certainly does exist. My issue with it is that the inference you're drawing only works on the assumption that humans operate solely on impulse when it comes to these decisions, which isn't always the case. There could be an underlying cause driving both their attitude towards sex and their tendency to lack loyalty in a relationship, making the other correlation you mentioned spurious. I've known some people who treat sex in that fashion occasionally when single, but are committed and loyal when in a monogamous relationship.

    As an aside, that bathroom sex story with your ex happened to me when I was 27 or so. New Year's eve, at a club, she just came and kissed me on the dance floor, and the deal was closed later that night. Never really thought about what motivated her. It is kinda sleazy though, and I wouldn't do that again at this age.
    I agree with the fact the correlation in general holds true but the "outliers" are not one-in-a-million by any means. They're likely pretty common.

    Bathroom story happened to me too. The woman was ~38 I think. Single mom who hired a sitter for a night out with no desire for a relationship. Said she had a solid FWB situation but hadn't seen him in a month or two. Honestly, I understood where she was coming from and her idgaf attitude. Not shaming women who do the same thing with someone they just met at a much younger age but if word gets out about your reputation it could definitely hurt your chances at finding a quality guy longterm.
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    Originally Posted by Legz422 View Post
    Hey girlo! How are you doing?
    Hi Legzzzzzz!

    Been busy with work and life but mostly work. Just finished interviewing another candidate.

    How are you and your son doing? Anything new?

    Sorry if I don't reply back in time.

    inb4 just pm each other lol
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    Originally Posted by SwimLiftRunGrl View Post
    Hi Legzzzzzz!

    Been busy with work and life but mostly work. Just finished interviewing another candidate.

    How are you and your son doing? Anything new?

    Sorry if I don't reply back in time.

    inb4 just pm each other lol
    I hope you and your family have been well. We are doing good, staying healthy. My son started college this fall. Online which stinks but oh well. He also finally got a job after months of looking.
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    Originally Posted by skinnyfat88 View Post
    Honestly, I understood where she was coming from and her idgaf attitude. Not shaming women who do the same thing with someone they just met at a much younger age but if word gets out about your reputation it could definitely hurt your chances at finding a quality guy longterm.
    Idk if “shame” but I’ll judge her for being an irresponsible slut.

    And yes it hurt her chances at finding a quality guy. Almost just stopped dating her after I learned that. I definitely diminished her to FWB material, and like Mediorcegains said, I should’ve kept her there. Lesson learned.
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    Originally Posted by Luc1fer View Post
    Idk if “shame” but I’ll judge her for being an irresponsible slut.

    And yes it hurt her chances at finding a quality guy. Almost just stopped dating her after I learned that. I definitely diminished her to FWB material, and like Mediorcegains said, I should’ve kept her there. Lesson learned.
    Again, you might be conflating a correlation with a cause here. And your own bias is seeping in on this judgement. I'm not immune to this tendency either, but I actually have the opposite reaction. I judge women for being prudes, and then dismiss them, which I'm working on. In the past, if she wouldn't get touchy and semi-sexual by the first or second date, I'd bail.
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    Originally Posted by Rebel012 View Post
    Again, you might be conflating a correlation with a cause here. And your own bias is seeping in on this judgement. I'm not immune to this tendency either, but I actually have the opposite reaction. I judge women for being prudes, and then dismiss them, which I'm working on. In the past, if she wouldn't get touchy and semi-sexual by the first or second date, I'd bail.
    But your tendency is clearly not conducive to finding a quality woman. It's the opposite. At least mine is leaning the right direction.

    I agree with your point about there being a set of women who might be major sluts while single, fuk randomers in bar restrooms, might completely diminish the value of sex, and love CardiB WAP, but be perfectly loyal while in a relationship. Sure, it's possible.

    The question is: is my rule of thumb reasonable or not. Is that correlation rare enough to negate my practical application of the rule.
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    Originally Posted by Luc1fer View Post
    But your tendency is clearly not conducive to finding a quality woman. It's the opposite. At least mine is leaning the right direction.

    I agree with your point about there being a set of women who might be major sluts while single, fuk randomers in bar restrooms, might completely diminish the value of sex, and love CardiB WAP, but be perfectly loyal while in a relationship. Sure, it's possible.

    The question is: is my rule of thumb reasonable or not. Is that correlation rare enough to negate my practical application of the rule.
    With 19% or 20% of the SA population in the 15-49 old age bracket having HIV here... Yeah no, no bathroom cum dumpsters for me.
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    Here's beer Mr Beer's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by witblitz550 View Post
    With 19% or 20% of the SA population in the 15-49 old age bracket having HIV here... Yeah no, no bathroom cum dumpsters for me.
    Jesus, that's horrific. So when people partner up, do they usually get HIV tests? Obviously not for hookups but relationships.
    Cope or Rope boyos.

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    Originally Posted by Legz422 View Post
    I hope you and your family have been well. We are doing good, staying healthy. My son started college this fall. Online which stinks but oh well. He also finally got a job after months of looking.
    Thank you! So glad to hear that you and your son are doing well too. Wow time sure flies by so fast. Can't believe he is in college. Congrats to him for the new job especially since the job market sucks now. Sorry about online. Whatever happens always stay positive. Don't go to the dark side. lol.

    Have a great Halloween weekend everyone. Get that extra hour of sleep this Sunday.
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    Originally Posted by FemaleWarriorxo View Post
    Yee, they honestly need to work on this forum.
    Yeah bb.com is in Boise, which isn't exactly going to attract the same talent as Silicon Valley.

    Still, they can have people remote working on the forum.

    Obviously with Covid it shows that you don't have to have people sitting in office cube prisons 9-5 to be effective.
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    Originally Posted by SwimLiftRunGrl View Post
    Thank you! So glad to hear that you and your son are doing well too. Wow time sure flies by so fast. Can't believe he is in college. Congrats to him for the new job especially since the job market sucks now. Sorry about online. Whatever happens always stay positive. Don't go to the dark side. lol.

    Have a great Halloween weekend everyone. Get that extra hour of sleep this Sunday.
    Yep! Always try to stay positive. Have a great weekend!
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    Originally Posted by SwimLiftRunGrl View Post
    Thank you! So glad to hear that you and your son are doing well too. Wow time sure flies by so fast. Can't believe he is in college. Congrats to him for the new job especially since the job market sucks now. Sorry about online. Whatever happens always stay positive. Don't go to the dark side. lol.

    Have a great Halloween weekend everyone. Get that extra hour of sleep this Sunday.
    I'm single again, you have a short open window
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    Registered User Legz422's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Luc1fer View Post
    I'm single again, you have a short open window
    I better be invited to the wedding!
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    Originally Posted by Legz422 View Post
    I better be invited to the wedding!
    You can be bridesmaid
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    Originally Posted by Luc1fer View Post
    You can be bridesmaid
    Deal!
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