Matches have pretty much died ³

[MediocreGains]

He hit me up twice before but I said no as once it was at 8:30pm on a Saturday night and the other one was at 11:30pm on a Saturday night. It's not like I can easily shower and get ready to leave without raising suspicion, especially from my daughter.

Yeah he should have just texted that he couldn't make it instead of just going silent. I'm sure with his looks and his suave Latin language texts that he gets a ton of girls. He just hasn't had an older woman. I guess I'm just on his bucket list, sheesh.

At least you were raised properly to know the etiquette of canceling.

Oh no, that's too bad that the girl was at the location. I would feel bad, too, but it sounds like you weren't that interested.

To be fair, he's probably used to dealing with girls who are already out partying as well around that time. When I sent weekend booty calls, that was usually the expectation. Young guy, so he's not going to have the understanding that someone might have family responsibilities and so on.

Anyways, my own experiences did give me some perspective on how a lot of women were so prone to flaking, forgetting, etc. If even I could be forgetful, what about an attractive young woman with basically endless options?

My gut instinct says the same.

I'm tempted to reach out and as to plan a second date and re-ask for her number but I'm finding these days that it's always better to go with the gut.

Been a brutal week on the dating front. It's the hope that kills you in the end lol.

This is why you have to close the deal when you have the chance. Not necessarily sex or even a kiss, but at least getting her number rather than expecting her to offer it whenever it is that she cares to or remembers it. Like I said earlier in my post, attractive women have endless options.

Honestly, it likely wouldn't have made any difference, but it could possibly help a little bit to be a guy who texts her rather than just be among another 100+ guys messaging her on an app (doubt she even checks most of them). Might as well try to maximize your chances, even if it's by a tiny bit, since you were quite taken with her.

[DustinTheHuss]

To be fair, he's probably used to dealing with girls who are already out partying as well around that time. When I sent weekend booty calls, that was usually the expectation. Young guy, so he's not going to have the understanding that someone might have family responsibilities and so on.

Anyways, my own experiences did give me some perspective on how a lot of women were so prone to flaking, forgetting, etc. If even I could be forgetful, what about an attractive young woman with basically endless options?

This is why you have to close the deal when you have the chance. Not necessarily sex or even a kiss, but at least getting her number rather than expecting her to offer it whenever it is that she cares to or remembers it. Like I said earlier in my post, attractive women have endless options.

Honestly, it likely wouldn't have made a difference, but it could possibly help a little bit to be a guy who texts her rather than just be another a 100 guys messaging her on an app (doubt she even checks most of them). Might as well try to maximize your chances, even if it's by a tiny bit, since you were quite taken with her.

Yeah I've had to educate a lot of young guys that I can't just head over at the last minute at 11:30pm at night with family responsibilities. Especially back in the day when I had to line up someone to watch my daughter. You're right, they have no clue as young girls are usually out partying then.

Some of the college guys would text at 2am on a weekday! Hello, I have work at 9am the next day. They don't understand a Mom who works a corporate job.

It shows why I prefer a man my age who understands kids and timing for work. Plus they are usually asleep by 11:30pm

[Luc1fer]

Well I posted on here that in January a guy drove 1.5 hours to meet me. He texted me that he was leaving his house so I got all ready, and then I called him and he had blocked me. That's a major flake right there.

Canceling ahead of time is fine if it's done a couple of hours. As you know, it takes awhile for women to get ready!

2 hours isn’t enough at all. 5 hours absolute minimum. If I cancelled a date 2 hours beforehand, I’d feel incredibly guilty and it would have to be some emergency.

An entire day may need to be planned around a date, and women especially can take a couple hours to get ready, not including thinking about outfit etc depending on venue.

Cancelling the day-of in general is not cool.

[DustinTheHuss]

2 hours isn’t enough at all. 5 hours absolute minimum. If I cancelled a date 2 hours beforehand, I’d feel incredibly guilty and it would have to be some emergency.

An entire day may need to be planned around a date, and women especially can take a couple hours to get ready, not including thinking about outfit etc depending on venue.

Cancelling the day-of in general is not cool.

Yeah I would prefer 5 hours or more advance notice.

Or how the Gen Z do it is they don't even show up or they cancel at the last minute. When you talk to people in their generation, they say the same sex flakes all of the time. They just weren't taught the right things from their parents.

When are you talking to the lady you are seeing? Next week?

[Luc1fer]

Yeah I would prefer 5 hours or more advance notice.

Or how the Gen Z do it is they don't even show up or they cancel at the last minute. When you talk to people in their generation, they say the same sex flakes all of the time. They just weren't taught the right things from their parents.

Bu...bu...but everyone does it, so that makes it okay right. Aren't a lot of their dates just Netflix and chill anyway though? I am shocked when I hear about women allowing strange guys over to their place.

[DustinTheHuss]

Bu...bu...but everyone does it, so that makes it okay right. Aren't a lot of their dates just Netflix and chill anyway though? I am shocked when I hear about women allowing strange guys over to their place.

Pretty much every young guy on dating apps want to come over but they can't so many just stop talking to me when they realize it isn't a possibility.

There was a place with a private hot tub and bed that I used to go to for $40 an hour, but that closed with the pandemic. Hotels are an option but pricey.

In our area the problem with Netflix and chill is that no one lives alone to host.

[Luc1fer]

There was a place with a private hot tub and bed that I used to go to for $40 an hour, but that closed with the pandemic. Hotels are an option but pricey.

Like a whorehouse?

[DustinTheHuss]

Like a whorehouse?

No it was a hot tub place. A lot of couples and young people used it.

I’m sure there were hookers using it too lol.

It made more economic sense than a hotel.

[Kev1972]

No it was a hot tub place. A lot of couples and young people used it.

I’m sure there were hookers using it too lol.

It made more economic sense than a hotel.

A hot tub rental by the hour? If this is real can you imagine the amount of jizz floating around in the hot tub? Mixed with ass juice from homos? They literally clear swimming pools for hours when some little kid lets loose, imagine a ******* gang bang just finished up before your rental.

[NitrogenWidget]

A hot tub rental by the hour? If this is real can you imagine the amount of jizz floating around in the hot tub? Mixed with ass juice from homos? They literally clear swimming pools for hours when some little kid lets loose, imagine a ******* gang bang just finished up before your rental.

lol. real talk.
I rented a cabin in the woods for early next month and the chick going with me isn't sure she wants to get in the hot tub because of this.
it's winter so we know it hasn't been emptied.
hell, we don't even know if it's been shocked.

it will probably come down to a village council type vote with everyone there to decide if we want to get in.
since i have a hot-tub I should probably just bring a few test strips to check the chlorine levels.
though the last time we rented a place with a hot tub everyone said "no-way" then after many hrs of drinking we all ended up in it for the rest of the evening. lol!

[NitrogenWidget]

An old FWB reached out to me on Saturday night.
asked what I was doing and told her i was cleaning my basement out so i could build a new workshop down there and she offered to come out last night to help.

i thought it was weird she was hitting me up wanting to help when i barely heard from her the last few yrs.
Anyway i told her i had my kids all weekend and wanted to spend time with them.

then it dawned on me this morning.
last night was valentines day.
I creeped her FB page and it states she is still in a relationship.


the same night another chick i used to bang hit me up with a picture of us from 5 yrs ago out of the blue which i thought was weird because she is living with a dude.
she started reminiscing about the good times we used to have.
it was late so i just didn't respond.

While I usually get random texts from women around V-Day it's weird AF.

the only thing i can surmise is their relationships are starting to run their course and they are exploring their options.
though I'm pretty sure if the first one would rather drive 2 hrs to see me on V-day instead of spend it with her "boyfriend" she was looking to bang.

however I don't mess with women who are officially with someone and FB = official as sad as that sounds.
I also don't spend V-day with chicks i'm not dating.

alternatively, a week ago a chick i know that i also hadn't heard from in a while hit me up and she made it a point to tell me she was single.
and i was like "ok".
not realizing V-day was just a week away. lol.

[FemaleWarriorxo]

A hot tub rental by the hour? If this is real can you imagine the amount of jizz floating around in the hot tub? Mixed with ass juice from homos? They literally clear swimming pools for hours when some little kid lets loose, imagine a ******* gang bang just finished up before your rental.

Now I can’t finish my soda biscuits and gravy that I made for breakfast

Just gross.

[NitrogenWidget]

Now I can’t finish my soda biscuits and gravy that I made for breakfast

Just gross.

to much sodium?

[FemaleWarriorxo]

to much sodium?

No. Not enough protein

[DustinTheHuss]

A hot tub rental by the hour? If this is real can you imagine the amount of jizz floating around in the hot tub? Mixed with ass juice from homos? They literally clear swimming pools for hours when some little kid lets loose, imagine a ******* gang bang just finished up before your rental.

We had several in our area and they were sanitized after each use. One was part of a spa, so it had nice aromatherapy and new age music playing.

But yeah there was some shady activity in one. My former FWB of 4 years got involved in ******* and meth dealing and did something weird there. He was high and texted me something asking if I had any older female friends who would pay him for sex, but of course he always gave it to me for free??

He said he had some weird thing going. I hope he wasn't soliciting men for sex in exchange for drug money. Ugh.

I only dealt with him because he was my type - blonde surfer look 8/10, and I understood his struggle with addiction since I have the eating disorder. But now he blocked me because he had messages that the police took photos of and wanted his phone number as a witness in the trial. I met him IRL as he was friends with a guy I used to date so he hit me up on ********.

He's now in a sober living environment after getting out of jail for being high on meth and destroying some guy's car. Well, he went to jail for destroying property in the thousands I think.

Meanwhile he gets tons of women, especially when he was selling *******. Chad + they wanted drugs = a lot of sex.

He was my best in bed. He obviously had a lot of practice and luckily I didn't get an STD.

[DustinTheHuss]

An old FWB reached out to me on Saturday night.
asked what I was doing and told her i was cleaning my basement out so i could build a new workshop down there and she offered to come out last night to help.

i thought it was weird she was hitting me up wanting to help when i barely heard from her the last few yrs.
Anyway i told her i had my kids all weekend and wanted to spend time with them.

then it dawned on me this morning.
last night was valentines day.
I creeped her FB page and it states she is still in a relationship.


the same night another chick i used to bang hit me up with a picture of us from 5 yrs ago out of the blue which i thought was weird because she is living with a dude.
she started reminiscing about the good times we used to have.
it was late so i just didn't respond.

While I usually get random texts from women around V-Day it's weird AF.

the only thing i can surmise is their relationships are starting to run their course and they are exploring their options.
though I'm pretty sure if the first one would rather drive 2 hrs to see me on V-day instead of spend it with her "boyfriend" she was looking to bang.

however I don't mess with women who are officially with someone and FB = official as sad as that sounds.
I also don't spend V-day with chicks i'm not dating.

alternatively, a week ago a chick i know that i also hadn't heard from in a while hit me up and she made it a point to tell me she was single.
and i was like "ok".
not realizing V-day was just a week away. lol.

LOL at how these women were acting with Valentines Day!

Still in a relationship? Jeez. And she wanted to drive 2 hours instead of spending it with her boyfriend?

Yeah their relationships are probably going downhill and they are looking to monkey branch, as women do so well. I know a lot of women who monkey branch at the tennis club. They play mixed doubles and line up their next husband with their short skirts lol.

[Imnew1]

An old FWB reached out to me on Saturday night.
asked what I was doing and told her i was cleaning my basement out so i could build a new workshop down there and she offered to come out last night to help.

i thought it was weird she was hitting me up wanting to help when i barely heard from her the last few yrs.
Anyway i told her i had my kids all weekend and wanted to spend time with them.

then it dawned on me this morning.
last night was valentines day.
I creeped her FB page and it states she is still in a relationship.


the same night another chick i used to bang hit me up with a picture of us from 5 yrs ago out of the blue which i thought was weird because she is living with a dude.
she started reminiscing about the good times we used to have.
it was late so i just didn't respond.

While I usually get random texts from women around V-Day it's weird AF.

the only thing i can surmise is their relationships are starting to run their course and they are exploring their options.
though I'm pretty sure if the first one would rather drive 2 hrs to see me on V-day instead of spend it with her "boyfriend" she was looking to bang.

however I don't mess with women who are officially with someone and FB = official as sad as that sounds.
I also don't spend V-day with chicks i'm not dating.

alternatively, a week ago a chick i know that i also hadn't heard from in a while hit me up and she made it a point to tell me she was single.
and i was like "ok".
not realizing V-day was just a week away. lol.

Yeah it's the end of cuffing season. God help the men who are dumb enough to get into relationships during that time of the year. Cuffing season is sucker season for a reason.

[DustinTheHuss]

Yeah it's the end of cuffing season. God help the men who are dumb enough to get into relationships during that time of the year. Cuffing season is sucker season for a reason.

What/when is cuffing season? Just V day or before summer? Lol

[Imnew1]

What/when is cuffing season? Just V day or before summer? Lol

Starts around Halloween after the women have spent the hot girl spring and summer making damn sure they've had their fun and hooking up with a guy or a few guys and doing their thing. This guy is usually somebody they don't want to waste time bringing around on the holidays for to meet the family or anything, or their long term ex they just don't see a future with anymore so why even go through the holidays with that guy. But they can't be alone during this time either. So they line up a new guy to play dress up on Halloween with and they officially begin sleeping together. Then comes Thanksgiving and winter where a warm snuggly body is so nice to lay next to and all there is to do is have sex and cuddle. Then comes Christmas where this chump buys them a gift and makes them feel special and then they go run off to be with their family on that day telling them all the things they can't wait to do to them in bed when they get back. Then they're ready to bring in a new year together. Lot's of fun that night and plenty of sex, but this guy is really just a holdover until somebody they're really in love with comes along. Valentine's Day usually concludes it. This guy is really not what they're looking for long term, but he was really what she needed during this time period. They get taken out for fun, and the thrill of knowing they have a man on this day. Rewarded with roses, dinner, and he's rewarded with some pity pussy, bc the woman also know this was just a cuffing season guy and this has came to an end and hot girl summer will be back before you know it when everybody has their best body and best skin and maybe the next long term bf is really out there where there's no more cuffing season ever needed. Cuffing season guy gets until maybe mid-March until they're ready to move on and get back out there ready for hot girl summer.

[brightbrah]

then it dawned on me this morning.
last night was valentines day.

lol, I too had an "out of the blue" contact this weekend.

[Luc1fer]

Here’s a question, after mulling over some of this self-interested v-day behavior. Women using men for validation with the secret plan of monkey branching.

Almost everyone is selfish and acts according to their own self interest. That is to some degree how society and dating must operate. But how many people do you have in your life that genuinely would act against their own selfish interest to benefit you?

For me I think it may be limited to my parents. I guess the, perhaps naive, goal is to find a partner with whom we can both say the same thing about each other.

I don’t believe the vast majority of relationships or marriages have this sort of love. I understand one can philosophically argue that all acts are selfish, but I think what I said is reasonable for discussion purposes.

Part of this is human nature, but part is also western ideals of individualistic self-interest imo. Modern America might be the worst.

[SwimLiftRunGrl]

An old FWB reached out to me on Saturday night.
asked what I was doing and told her i was cleaning my basement out so i could build a new workshop down there and she offered to come out last night to help.

i thought it was weird she was hitting me up wanting to help when i barely heard from her the last few yrs.
Anyway i told her i had my kids all weekend and wanted to spend time with them.

then it dawned on me this morning.
last night was valentines day.
I creeped her FB page and it states she is still in a relationship.


the same night another chick i used to bang hit me up with a picture of us from 5 yrs ago out of the blue which i thought was weird because she is living with a dude.
she started reminiscing about the good times we used to have.
it was late so i just didn't respond.

While I usually get random texts from women around V-Day it's weird AF.

the only thing i can surmise is their relationships are starting to run their course and they are exploring their options.
though I'm pretty sure if the first one would rather drive 2 hrs to see me on V-day instead of spend it with her "boyfriend" she was looking to bang.

however I don't mess with women who are officially with someone and FB = official as sad as that sounds.
I also don't spend V-day with chicks i'm not dating.

alternatively, a week ago a chick i know that i also hadn't heard from in a while hit me up and she made it a point to tell me she was single.
and i was like "ok".
not realizing V-day was just a week away. lol.

Which part of the US do you live in? Seems like you live around trashy people all the time. lol.

But how many people do you have in your life that genuinely would act against their own selfish interest to benefit you?

Can you give an example of what might constitute that non-selfish act? I would say that my close friends and family will act against their own selfish interest to benefit people not just me. If the example is that who would my friends save if her kids and I were drowning then of course I would expect my friends to save their kids first. We have a saying in Chinese that translate into this:

If the person helps you then it is a favor
If the person does not help you then it is logical or their right

It sounds so much better in Chinese. Lol.

[Luc1fer]

Can you give an example of what might constitute that non-selfish act? I would say that my close friends and family will act against their own selfish interest to benefit people not just me. If the example is that who would my friends save if her kids and I were drowning then of course I would expect my friends to save their kids first. We have a saying in Chinese that translate into this:

If the person helps you then it is a favor
If the person does not help you then it is logical or their right

It sounds so much better in Chinese. Lol.

I don’t like that quote but I’m sure it works better in Chinese. That’s a very individualistic mindset. I especially dislike the “logical” piece. There are certainly expectations of friends and family that should exist in a healthy society.

I’m hesitant to provide specific examples because people will zone in on the specific example, which could deflect from the core message. If an example helps visualize the core message, I’ll provide a vague illustration:

A person sacrificing a major life opportunity for the sake of another person’s welfare.

I reckon you’d be shocked at how few people would be willing to do this in westernized nations. Yet, in some family-first cultures, this is a default mindset.

[FemaleWarriorxo]

Here’s a question, after mulling over some of this self-interested v-day behavior. Women using men for validation with the secret plan of monkey branching.

Almost everyone is selfish and acts according to their own self interest. That is to some degree how society and dating must operate. But how many people do you have in your life that genuinely would act against their own selfish interest to benefit you?

For me I think it may be limited to my parents. I guess the, perhaps naive, goal is to find a partner with whom we can both say the same thing about each other.

I don’t believe the vast majority of relationships or marriages have this sort of love. I understand one can philosophically argue that all acts are selfish, but I think what I said is reasonable for discussion purposes.

Part of this is human nature, but part is also western ideals of individualistic self-interest imo. Modern America might be the worst.

Just my parents and brothers. Never came across a people that wanted something like that in a relationship. Most people are self righteous

[NitrogenWidget]

Here’s a question, after mulling over some of this self-interested v-day behavior. Women using men for validation with the secret plan of monkey branching.

Almost everyone is selfish and acts according to their own self interest. That is to some degree how society and dating must operate. But how many people do you have in your life that genuinely would act against their own selfish interest to benefit you?

For me I think it may be limited to my parents. I guess the, perhaps naive, goal is to find a partner with whom we can both say the same thing about each other.

I don’t believe the vast majority of relationships or marriages have this sort of love. I understand one can philosophically argue that all acts are selfish, but I think what I said is reasonable for discussion purposes.

Part of this is human nature, but part is also western ideals of individualistic self-interest imo. Modern America might be the worst.

family and a few bro's who I have been friends with since highschool.
I've had a few women act against their own selfish interests but once the "had me" that chit seemed to change and then it was just me being the un-selfish one.
sometimes it takes me a while to notice it because i'm really into them.
but once I do i start getting selfish and it doesn't last too long after that.

[NitrogenWidget]

Which part of the US do you live in? Seems like you live around trashy people all the time. lol.

I met a few at work post divorce who had friends who had friends and well birds of a feather...
i've met women between then and now who i dated but it never lasted more than a few months and it was uneventful. i don't talk about those women. that's boring.

But, the last yr NYS has been on total lockdown and online dating is chit.
Now, faced with re-opening, i've realized i just have zero desire to be around drunk strangers in a bar again even if my friends are there.

So, the women i met and banged and who were ok with just hanging out and having fun or FWB, I saw no reason not to stay friendly when they found a BF.
when that implodes (and it does) they sometimes hit me up to have some fun because they just want to be single for a while.

i just found it funny at how I won't hear from them for months to a yr and then right around V-day I had 3 hitting me up.
so I posted about it.

[NitrogenWidget]

I don’t like that quote but I’m sure it works better in Chinese. That’s a very individualistic mindset. I especially dislike the “logical” piece. There are certainly expectations of friends and family that should exist in a healthy society.

I’m hesitant to provide specific examples because people will zone in on the specific example, which could deflect from the core message. If an example helps visualize the core message, I’ll provide a vague illustration:

A person sacrificing a major life opportunity for the sake of another person’s welfare.

I reckon you’d be shocked at how few people would be willing to do this in westernized nations. Yet, in some family-first cultures, this is a default mindset.

oh.
I thought you meant like drop what they're doing and come a running because your electrical panel went kablooie and they are an electrician.

I would never expect someone to **** up something in their life to help me.
I'd rather just take the F'ing dry because i don't think i could ever face a close friend again if they made a great sacrifice for me that didn't involve saving my life.

[DustinTheHuss]

I don’t like that quote but I’m sure it works better in Chinese. That’s a very individualistic mindset. I especially dislike the “logical” piece. There are certainly expectations of friends and family that should exist in a healthy society.

I’m hesitant to provide specific examples because people will zone in on the specific example, which could deflect from the core message. If an example helps visualize the core message, I’ll provide a vague illustration:

A person sacrificing a major life opportunity for the sake of another person’s welfare.

I reckon you’d be shocked at how few people would be willing to do this in westernized nations. Yet, in some family-first cultures, this is a default mindset.

That would be my parents, and some of the life opportunities I've sacrificed for my daughter like to stay home to be with her, and I even sacrificed a life of going away to college so I could be closer to my then fiancé. Then I guess I never got the college experience and have been trying to make it up lately.

But I'm not surprised about the monkey branching in today's society. It's just too easy to cheat, whereas even in my generation you would have to call someone's land line and risk talking to their boyfriend/husband.

[DustinTheHuss]

It's starting to get comical how many times I've been ghosted, flaked on this year.

I had a date tonight and I hadn't heard from the guy since last night, so I just confirmed if we were on around noon. Then I saw that he unmatched me on Bumble. I haven't heard from him since, which is fine as my kitty is in bad shape so I can take care of him and be with him.

[Luc1fer]

I've sacrificed for my daughter like to stay home to be with her

This goes without saying, it's kinda weird to even classify that as a sacrifice because it implies you might resent her.

I wouldn't feel very good if I was her and read that.