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  1. #6301
    Registered User DustinTheHuss's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by fishnbrah View Post
    you guys are amazing, you actually get matches and dates. forever mirin. its hard af to get a date. if i get a match, which is rare, they usually dont respond.
    How does that happen with your physique? Do you have pics like your avi in your profile? I would definitely swipe on that!
    Make It a Great Day!

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  2. #6302
    Registered User SwimLiftRunGrl's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by InsanePain11 View Post
    It feels freeing that I don’t really care.
    That is great! Keep it that way. Less stress on you. There is always a new batch of young single women every day. Lol.

    Originally Posted by antman12 View Post
    To follow up on this part...

    I matched with a girl and set up a date back in like march. I had to cancel the day of after snowboarding all day and not getting home in time. All my fault. We reconnected a few months later but never set up a date. Well she again reached out and we reconnected on an app this past Monday night. I set up a coffee date for tonight back on Monday. Well since then ive been dealing with a head cold/nasal congestion all week. I messaged her this morning letting her know, while also saying im still down to hang out if she wants to. I cant imagine she will and I havent heard back from her yet. I fully expecting to be unmatched with no chance at rescheduling.

    Lmaaoooooo. Gonna take the L and move on lol.
    wow you had some bad luck on making first dates. Dental issue, snowboarding and head cold/nasal congestion. She's probably thinking "Not again on canceling the date". LOL. You don't seem to have issue with getting dates so don't worry too much about the L.
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  3. #6303
    Registered User skinnyfat88's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by antman12 View Post
    Frustrating couple weeks of dating.

    Matched with a girl, exchanged a few really good messages. Lots in common with a lot of similar core beliefs. Set up a date which I unfortunately had to cancel due to a random dental issue that came up. To her credit she was very understanding and we ended up having a really nice FT call that night. Set up and went on a coffee/walk date a few days later which went great with physical escalation and some kissing and making out to end the night. That was wed night and we set up a date for Sunday. Friday night rolled around and we ended up going on a really cute impromptu "date" that again went great!

    Saturday I was out all day and had a 30 minute drive home. I give her a call to pass time and we ended up having a 2 hour conversation of which the first 90 minutes went great. The last 30 minutes not so much.

    On our original FT call she lead on to being previously married and I just flat out asked her if she was. She said yes she was. So I followed up and asked if theres anything that I should know about or any crazy stories. She said no, I believed her and didnt want to ruin the mood on the call.

    Saturday night on our call, through conversation this topic came up and I asked her if she wouldn't mind elaborating on what happened without going into any specific or too personal details. She did and long story short they met halfway through college, got married shortly after college but quickly realized being in a relationship in the "real world, after college" was much more difficult and they got divorced. No cheating or anything like that and they havent talked in 4+ years. Okay cool.

    Im feeling pretty good at this point and ask her if there's anything else I should know about. And man I did not expect what came next. She talked about some childhood trauma, which lead to terrible behavior in high school, early college years and more trauma in that time period. I told her I had to sleep on what she said and kind of digest what she told me, even though I knew I couldn't continue seeing her during the conversation.

    Woke up the next morning, called her and let her know I didnt think it was a good idea to continue seeing each other. To her credit she was understanding although I knew I hurt her. I did genuinely feel terrible for her being comfortable enough with me to tell me all of that, only for me to call it off right away. I know I made the right decision and although it was an easy decision it still sucked.
    At first I was thinking you were moving exceptionally fast with a 2hr phonecall after only 2 dates and opening up about her past but I guess it worked in your favor if it's something you would've broken up over it when you found out eventually.

    Pretty wild she jumped right from that phase of trauma and acting out into the relationship that became her marriage.
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  4. #6304
    brb Acquiring gains InsanePain11's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by antman12 View Post
    Frustrating couple weeks of dating.

    Matched with a girl, exchanged a few really good messages. Lots in common with a lot of similar core beliefs. Set up a date which I unfortunately had to cancel due to a random dental issue that came up. To her credit she was very understanding and we ended up having a really nice FT call that night. Set up and went on a coffee/walk date a few days later which went great with physical escalation and some kissing and making out to end the night. That was wed night and we set up a date for Sunday. Friday night rolled around and we ended up going on a really cute impromptu "date" that again went great!

    Saturday I was out all day and had a 30 minute drive home. I give her a call to pass time and we ended up having a 2 hour conversation of which the first 90 minutes went great. The last 30 minutes not so much.

    On our original FT call she lead on to being previously married and I just flat out asked her if she was. She said yes she was. So I followed up and asked if theres anything that I should know about or any crazy stories. She said no, I believed her and didnt want to ruin the mood on the call.

    Saturday night on our call, through conversation this topic came up and I asked her if she wouldn't mind elaborating on what happened without going into any specific or too personal details. She did and long story short they met halfway through college, got married shortly after college but quickly realized being in a relationship in the "real world, after college" was much more difficult and they got divorced. No cheating or anything like that and they havent talked in 4+ years. Okay cool.

    Im feeling pretty good at this point and ask her if there's anything else I should know about. And man I did not expect what came next. She talked about some childhood trauma, which lead to terrible behavior in high school, early college years and more trauma in that time period. I told her I had to sleep on what she said and kind of digest what she told me, even though I knew I couldn't continue seeing her during the conversation.
    Sorry to hear it brah. It always sucks when you’re feeling like you’re connecting with a girl and then flags/bombs start popping off. I assume what she told you in regards to her history must have been pretty disturbing for you to back out. It’s good you’re being true to yourself though since you know it was a dealbreaker.

    Secondly, if that next girl doesn’t reschedule with you for being sick, she’s not worth your time anyway imo. If she likes you and is a decently nice person she should reschedule.
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  5. #6305
    Registered User antman12's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by skinnyfat88 View Post
    At first I was thinking you were moving exceptionally fast with a 2hr phonecall after only 2 dates and opening up about her past but I guess it worked in your favor if it's something you would've broken up over it when you found out eventually.

    Pretty wild she jumped right from that phase of trauma and acting out into the relationship that became her marriage.
    Yea I can understand you thinking that. TBF I just wanted to kill 30 minutes driving then that turned into a great unsolicited conversation. And agreed on your last 2 thoughts. Happy she opened up about it when she did and IDK what was going through her EXs mind dealing with her past so quickly after.

    Originally Posted by InsanePain11 View Post
    Sorry to hear it brah. It always sucks when you’re feeling like you’re connecting with a girl and then flags/bombs start popping off. I assume what she told you in regards to her history must have been pretty disturbing for you to back out. It’s good you’re being true to yourself though since you know it was a dealbreaker.

    Secondly, if that next girl doesn’t reschedule with you for being sick, she’s not worth your time anyway imo. If she likes you and is a decently nice person she should reschedule.
    Yea it was definitely a gut punch. Like I said I knew as she was telling me this stuff that I couldn't move forward, but at least wanted to sleep on it. But that only gave my mind more time to override my feelings I had to her.

    In regards to girl #2...
    To be fair to her, if a girl flaked on me twice I probably wouldnt give her a 3rd chance. lol

    She did respond back and was reasonable. Asked If I wanted to reschedule and told her that would be nice. So well see how that plays out.

    Edit - Damn she even hit me with the double message 20 minutes later flirting and basically saying now I really owe her. lol
    Last edited by antman12; 09-30-2022 at 12:11 PM.
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  6. #6306
    brb Acquiring gains InsanePain11's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by antman12 View Post

    Yea it was definitely a gut punch. Like I said I knew as she was telling me this stuff that I couldn't move forward, but at least wanted to sleep on it. But that only gave my mind more time to override my feelings I had to her.

    In regards to girl #2...
    To be fair to her, if a girl flaked on me twice I probably wouldnt give her a 3rd chance. lol

    She did respond back and was reasonable. Asked If I wanted to reschedule and told her that would be nice. So well see how that plays out.

    Edit - Damn she even hit me with the double message 20 minutes later flirting and basically saying now I really owe her. lol
    Ah I see, didn’t realize you had to postpone twice. Nbd though people can sometimes understand as long as they feel you’re being honest.

    Sounds good on the update with the second girl! GL brah
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  7. #6307
    Banned imbored21's Avatar
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    want to talk on the phone first
    want to face time first
    do u have instagram??

    WOW f*ck women seriously.
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  8. #6308
    Registered User fishnbrah's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by DustinTheHuss View Post
    How does that happen with your physique? Do you have pics like your avi in your profile? I would definitely swipe on that!
    well youre a guy soo...
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  9. #6309
    Registered User DustinTheHuss's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by imbored21 View Post
    want to talk on the phone first
    want to face time first
    do u have instagram??

    WOW f*ck women seriously.
    Well now I do that because I don't want to waste 2 hours getting ready and driving for a first date only for it to fizzle into nothing.

    Originally Posted by fishnbrah View Post
    well youre a guy soo...
    Oh yes, gay men like jacked physiques . I have taken cell tech in the past and I'm in menopause so I guess I'm a borderline guy.
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  10. #6310
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    Originally Posted by DustinTheHuss View Post
    Well now I do that because I don't want to waste 2 hours getting ready and driving for a first date only for it to fizzle into nothing.



    Oh yes, gay men like jacked physiques . I have taken cell tech in the past and I'm in menopause so I guess I'm a borderline guy.
    my radius is set to 5 miles. these girls literally have to drive 4 minutes for coffee but they want to facetime first
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  11. #6311
    Registered User iloveus's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by imbored21 View Post
    want to talk on the phone first
    want to face time first
    do u have instagram??

    WOW f*ck women seriously.
    Reminds me of interviews process for this job I had

    1st it was a phone interview

    2nd was a video of yourself answering these questions

    3rd was a zoom interview with a powerpoint

    4th was an in person interview

    This was all for a Roofing sales position lmao
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  12. #6312
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    Originally Posted by iloveus View Post
    Reminds me of interviews process for this job I had

    1st it was a phone interview

    2nd was a video of yourself answering these questions

    3rd was a zoom interview with a powerpoint

    4th was an in person interview

    This was all for a Roofing sales position lmao
    this is to jestermax a 5/10
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  13. #6313
    Registered User imiscubb's Avatar
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    is it all a #s game?? just have to keep fishing ?
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    Registered User iloveus's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by imbored21 View Post
    this is to jestermax a 5/10
    Go no contact
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    what's with girls covering their face in every single picture??

    1st pic snowboarding
    2nd back shot
    3rd wearing a mask
    4th another back shot
    5th a meme

    This **** is so common too. It's not like I just came around 1 account and posted this.
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    Originally Posted by imbored21 View Post
    what's with girls covering their face in every single picture??

    1st pic snowboarding
    2nd back shot
    3rd wearing a mask
    4th another back shot
    5th a meme

    This **** is so common too. It's not like I just came around 1 account and posted this.
    Ever thought it was a bot? Where are you located?
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    Originally Posted by DustinTheHuss View Post
    How does that happen with your physique? Do you have pics like your avi in your profile? I would definitely swipe on that!
    The obvious answer is usually the correct one.
    Forever alone? Attraction and keeping the girl chasing you - http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=131498033

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  18. #6318
    Registered User antman12's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by antman12 View Post
    Yea I can understand you thinking that. TBF I just wanted to kill 30 minutes driving then that turned into a great unsolicited conversation. And agreed on your last 2 thoughts. Happy she opened up about it when she did and IDK what was going through her EXs mind dealing with her past so quickly after.



    Yea it was definitely a gut punch. Like I said I knew as she was telling me this stuff that I couldn't move forward, but at least wanted to sleep on it. But that only gave my mind more time to override my feelings I had to her.

    In regards to girl #2...
    To be fair to her, if a girl flaked on me twice I probably wouldnt give her a 3rd chance. lol

    She did respond back and was reasonable. Asked If I wanted to reschedule and told her that would be nice. So well see how that plays out.

    Edit - Damn she even hit me with the double message 20 minutes later flirting and basically saying now I really owe her. lol
    Update:

    Remade the same plans from last Friday for this Friday (tomorrow). Checked in today to make sure we're still good and as expected she canceled. Saying she "forgot I had to baby sit my niece and nephew tomorrow night and don't want to cut it too close." It took her 2.5 hours to respond and asked if I was available for coffee on Sat or Sun but frankly I dont even care to respond. I could add some side notes here to you guys but dont want to come off any type of way. Just going to bail out.

    Think im going to remake my Tinder. I just cut off 12" of hair (donated it of course) about 6 weeks ago and look soooooo much better now and have far better pictures. Problem is I "missed out" on 9+ months of potential matches. Probably going to look into making a Hinge account as well.
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    Originally Posted by antman12 View Post
    Update:

    Remade the same plans from last Friday for this Friday (tomorrow). Checked in today to make sure we're still good and as expected she canceled. Saying she "forgot I had to baby sit my niece and nephew tomorrow night and don't want to cut it too close." It took her 2.5 hours to respond and asked if I was available for coffee on Sat or Sun but frankly I dont even care to respond. I could add some side notes here to you guys but dont want to come off any type of way. Just going to bail out.

    Think im going to remake my Tinder. I just cut off 12" of hair (donated it of course) about 6 weeks ago and look soooooo much better now and have far better pictures. Problem is I "missed out" on 9+ months of potential matches. Probably going to look into making a Hinge account as well.
    Wait. Weren't you the one who cancelled a couple times in a row? And now you're mad she had to cancel Friday? She offered an alternative which means she's interested.
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    Originally Posted by Legz422 View Post
    Wait. Weren't you the one who cancelled a couple times in a row? And now you're mad she had to cancel Friday? She offered an alternative which means she's interested.
    Correct. I acknowledge and understand your point.

    I probably shouldn't haven't set plans up with her to begin with for a couple different reasons. She hit me up at a time when I wasn't thinking straight and jumped to make plans. Best for me to move on.
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    Originally Posted by antman12 View Post
    Correct. I acknowledge and understand your point.

    I probably shouldn't haven't set plans up with her to begin with for a couple different reasons. She hit me up at a time when I wasn't thinking straight and jumped to make plans. Best for me to move on.
    Fair enough brah. You know what’s best. But I say get off tinder and try hinge/bumble unless you are strictly looking for hookups. No judgment if you are, tinder is still good for that but there’s a lot of trash there hate to say it.
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    Just had a date and would love your interpretations of how this unfolded.

    Met for drinks at a fun Restaurant that is also a gin/vodka/ other stuff distillery. Fun time but she was hard to read. She is cute and had a good demeanor overall. At first I thought it went really well, good vibes and convo..but it was up and down.

    Here’s me just overthinking. She did order a second drink when we could have left.. part of me thinks that’s great because she was having g a good ass time, other part says maybe she wanted a free drink. but she also gave me a quick hug when I walked her to her car, not a long hug so I didn’t go for a kiss. I walked back to my car thinking it went OK, but did it really go that well not sure..

    Anyways I texted her asking if she got home, she said yes and “ yes! It was great meeting you! Good way to roll into Friday”

    I told her definitely I had a fun time and I’d like to see her again soon.
    She replied “Yes, that sounds good !”

    What do you all think? Does her saying it was “great meeting me” mean she isn’t interested and let’s leave it there type of thing. Also I’m used to interested girls responding with more enthusiasm than “yes that sounds good”. Let me know and for the record I’ve been drinking so apologies if I ramble.
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    Originally Posted by InsanePain11 View Post
    Just had a date and would love your interpretations of how this unfolded.

    Met for drinks at a fun Restaurant that is also a gin/vodka/ other stuff distillery. Fun time but she was hard to read. She is cute and had a good demeanor overall. At first I thought it went really well, good vibes and convo..but it was up and down.

    Here’s me just overthinking. She did order a second drink when we could have left.. part of me thinks that’s great because she was having g a good ass time, other part says maybe she wanted a free drink. but she also gave me a quick hug when I walked her to her car, not a long hug so I didn’t go for a kiss. I walked back to my car thinking it went OK, but did it really go that well not sure..

    Anyways I texted her asking if she got home, she said yes and “ yes! It was great meeting you! Good way to roll into Friday”

    I told her definitely I had a fun time and I’d like to see her again soon.
    She replied “Yes, that sounds good !”

    What do you all think? Does her saying it was “great meeting me” mean she isn’t interested and let’s leave it there type of thing. Also I’m used to interested girls responding with more enthusiasm than “yes that sounds good”. Let me know and for the record I’ve been drinking so apologies if I ramble.
    I think it means she had a great time meeting you and she's going to be in a good mood for the weekend

    Just ask her out again. This time go for the kiss.
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    Originally Posted by InsanePain11 View Post
    Fair enough brah. You know what’s best. But I say get off tinder and try hinge/bumble unless you are strictly looking for hookups. No judgment if you are, tinder is still good for that but there’s a lot of trash there hate to say it.
    Oh tinder is by and large a cesspool. And I’m not looking for hook ups, quite the opposite. The only reason I “like” or use tinder is because it’s by far the most used app. Just gotta weed through the trash.

    Originally Posted by InsanePain11 View Post
    Just had a date and would love your interpretations of how this unfolded.
    Sounds like it went well! Don’t overthink it. Hopefully she texts you in the next couple days but if not follow up with her, she how she’s doing and try to plan another date.

    I typically try to plan a second date on the first date when things are going well.

    Originally Posted by iloveus View Post
    I think it means she had a great time meeting you and she's going to be in a good mood for the weekend

    Just ask her out again. This time go for the kiss.
    Agreed with all this.

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    Originally Posted by InsanePain11 View Post
    Does her saying it was “great meeting me” mean she isn’t interested and let’s leave it there type of thing.
    lmao bro how da fuq did u come to this conclusion
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    Originally Posted by InsanePain11 View Post
    What do you all think? Does her saying it was “great meeting me” mean she isn’t interested and let’s leave it there type of thing.
    I think so. Sounds like she didn't have a great time on the date.


    Originally Posted by InsanePain11 View Post
    Also I’m used to interested girls responding with more enthusiasm than “yes that sounds good”. Let me know and for the record I’ve been drinking so apologies if I ramble.
    Yeah, she actually meant "sounds bad" here. Don't let her fool you with her advanced trickery.
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    Originally Posted by InsanePain11 View Post
    Just had a date and would love your interpretations of how this unfolded.

    Met for drinks at a fun Restaurant that is also a gin/vodka/ other stuff distillery. Fun time but she was hard to read. She is cute and had a good demeanor overall. At first I thought it went really well, good vibes and convo..but it was up and down.

    Here’s me just overthinking. She did order a second drink when we could have left.. part of me thinks that’s great because she was having g a good ass time, other part says maybe she wanted a free drink. but she also gave me a quick hug when I walked her to her car, not a long hug so I didn’t go for a kiss. I walked back to my car thinking it went OK, but did it really go that well not sure..

    Anyways I texted her asking if she got home, she said yes and “ yes! It was great meeting you! Good way to roll into Friday”

    I told her definitely I had a fun time and I’d like to see her again soon.
    She replied “Yes, that sounds good !”

    What do you all think? Does her saying it was “great meeting me” mean she isn’t interested and let’s leave it there type of thing. Also I’m used to interested girls responding with more enthusiasm than “yes that sounds good”. Let me know and for the record I’ve been drinking so apologies if I ramble.
    I think it sounds like she is interested. She's prob waiting for you to ask her out again. I always liked it when things were going well and the guy would say right there during the date that he'd like to see me again. Took out all that wondering afterwards. If you're having a good time on a date and feel like you're clicking maybe start saying that and ask her availability right then and there.
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    Way too much overthinking

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    Originally Posted by InsanePain11 View Post
    Just had a date and would love your interpretations of how this unfolded.

    Met for drinks at a fun Restaurant that is also a gin/vodka/ other stuff distillery. Fun time but she was hard to read. She is cute and had a good demeanor overall. At first I thought it went really well, good vibes and convo..but it was up and down.

    Here’s me just overthinking. She did order a second drink when we could have left.. part of me thinks that’s great because she was having g a good ass time, other part says maybe she wanted a free drink. but she also gave me a quick hug when I walked her to her car, not a long hug so I didn’t go for a kiss. I walked back to my car thinking it went OK, but did it really go that well not sure..

    Anyways I texted her asking if she got home, she said yes and “ yes! It was great meeting you! Good way to roll into Friday”

    I told her definitely I had a fun time and I’d like to see her again soon.
    She replied “Yes, that sounds good !”

    What do you all think? Does her saying it was “great meeting me” mean she isn’t interested and let’s leave it there type of thing. Also I’m used to interested girls responding with more enthusiasm than “yes that sounds good”. Let me know and for the record I’ve been drinking so apologies if I ramble.
    you should have left it after the night to see if she reached out to you - then you would know if she was half interested

    you contacting her so soon also removes the mystery for her on if you like her

    leave it a few days and see what happens
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    Originally Posted by iloveus View Post
    I think it means she had a great time meeting you and she's going to be in a good mood for the weekend

    Just ask her out again. This time go for the kiss.
    Sweet, I pretty much feel that way. After sobering and letting it sink in, I feel I’m in a good spot. We went out Thursday and I’ll probably text her Sunday or Monday to set up another date.
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