Matches have pretty much died ³

[twovalvekid]

#1 Hinge
#2 CMB

The rest are trash.

TFW hinge is nothing but harpooning in my area.

Guess i really need to jump on CMB. Any opportune time best?

[FemaleWarriorxo]

What are flyer boys? Lol. No idea what I'm looking for, prob just casual dating right now till I find someone I really hit it off with. Not sure when I'll download the app but def trying not to have too much expectations.

Have you met many guys from these apps? I'm always wary about meeting strangers lol

I meant fk boys lol my phone did amazing at autocorrect. Nothing wrong with casual dating (: I’d just keep your expectations to reality lol

I met maybe around 10 in person. Just make sure it’s in public and trust your gut feeling.

[Legz422]

Do ya not use dating apps anymore? Yeah, I've been on a first date at this fancy schmancy restaurant once and the guy went all out. Bill was prob $200 just for dinner, I offered to pay my portion and he didn't let me. Felt really bad cus I wasn't feeling him. Much less guilt if a guy buys me a burrito bowl and it doesn't work out lol

What are flyer boys? Lol. No idea what I'm looking for, prob just casual dating right now till I find someone I really hit it off with. Not sure when I'll download the app but def trying not to have too much expectations.

Have you met many guys from these apps? I'm always wary about meeting strangers lol

I'd pass on that. Something I've learned over the years (doesn't even have to do with dating), is that people will make time for what's important to them. No one is so busy that they can't carve some time out for a lunch/dinner date. Pretty chitty of her to waste your time though to only say she's too busy to fit you into her schedule.

Nope, haven't seriously been on apps in many years. Every blue moon I'll download one and take a look through and then delete within a day. Even when I was on them 5 years ago I'd be on for a month or two, get disgusted, get off, then try again. lol I just really dislike the whole thing. It's so hard to find someone that you really click with.

Never meet for meals for a first meet. I've gone to dinner with guys I've met IRL. Because I already know I'm interested. Pretty much always meet in a public place. I met a lot of guys and never had a problem or felt unsafe.

[Luc1fer]

Out with the girl on 2nd date. She’s touching my leg, added me on FB etc - guess she’s interested eh, hopefully not too crazy.

Also, I might be a little drunk.

[InsanePain11]

I took a break from hinge and came back. They went from charging 20 bucks for premium to 40 where I’m at. The fuk. I guess they are taking advantage of everyone on there because of corona..

[Legz422]

Out with the girl on 2nd date. She’s touching my leg, added me on FB etc - guess she’s interested eh, hopefully not too crazy.

Also, I might be a little drunk.

Sounds promising!

[Luc1fer]

Sounds promising!

Had a good day, several more hours together - brought her back to mine, and we had sex. I don't think she expected to be having sex tbh (she was embarrassed about her panties lol), but the chemistry was high.

Some light signs of possessiveness; asked me if I still talked to my ex. So she's appearing very high interest.

I always feel a bit weird in these situations - I don't want to get attached too quickly, but I also don't want her to. I know that her feelings technically isn't my responsibility but we barely know each other, so I tend to take a somewhat realistic position early during that honeymoon period to protect expectations and emotions.

[brightbrah]

Had a good day, several more hours together - brought her back to mine, and we had sex. I don't think she expected to be having sex tbh (she was embarrassed about her panties lol), but the chemistry was high.

Some light signs of possessiveness; asked me if I still talked to my ex. So she's appearing very high interest.

I always feel a bit weird in these situations - I don't want to get attached too quickly, but I also don't want her to. I know that her feelings technically isn't my responsibility but we barely know each other, so I tend to take a somewhat realistic position early during that honeymoon period to protect expectations and emotions.

Glad to hear that it was a good night, man.

[spazzin]

had a good day, several more hours together - brought her back to mine, and we had sex. I don't think she expected to be having sex tbh (she was embarrassed about her panties lol), but the chemistry was high.

Some light signs of possessiveness; asked me if i still talked to my ex. So she's appearing very high interest.

I always feel a bit weird in these situations - i don't want to get attached too quickly, but i also don't want her to. I know that her feelings technically isn't my responsibility but we barely know each other, so i tend to take a somewhat realistic position early during that honeymoon period to protect expectations and emotions.

gjdm

[twovalvekid]

Had a good day, several more hours together - brought her back to mine, and we had sex. I don't think she expected to be having sex tbh (she was embarrassed about her panties lol), but the chemistry was high.

Some light signs of possessiveness; asked me if I still talked to my ex. So she's appearing very high interest.

I always feel a bit weird in these situations - I don't want to get attached too quickly, but I also don't want her to. I know that her feelings technically isn't my responsibility but we barely know each other, so I tend to take a somewhat realistic position early during that honeymoon period to protect expectations and emotions.

Nice. FHRITP.

[Luc1fer]

Question for guys with high counts, that evidently slept around. Firstly how do you deal with the natural escalation over time with a woman? I assume you have to keep her at some sort of distance.

Every new girl I date, we tend to grow more intimate and closer over time. Even now, I'd feel guilty if I had sex with another girl -- hell, I feel a bit guilty right now about meeting up with other girls.

Second question: Do you just not feel this guilt of being with multiple women while one may be getting attached, and figure that technically what you're doing is fine?

Not that I desire it, but I know technically I'm free to meet up with and have sex with other women; however I'd feel so guilty because it might hurt this girl to discover that.

[Luc1fer]

^^ as a complete aside, after typing that I recognize what a complete piece of **** my recent ex is. She knew I respected her and the relationship, and would NEVER meet up with women behind her back. Yet she did it... it's fuked up.

[DustinTheHuss]

Why even bother being on dating apps then? I'd guess that if it was someone you were really interested in, you'd find the time and energy to see them.

That's true. I'm on Bumble and Hinge but rarely swipe on them. My schedule is crazy and I'm going camping next week with my adventure group and sailing the next weekend after. I guess they have taken away time from dating apps. So far I haven't met anyone I like in the adventure group, but it beats staying home swiping. Camping will be easier to meet people as we will spend a lot of time together. Even a new friend is good. I signed up for stand-up paddleboarding again in the ocean, too. There's kayaking and surfing. I did the surfing. The problem is that I have friends from my high school in the adventure group, so I end up talking to them more than others. Luckily they won't be on the camping trip.

I'm in kind of a depressed mode lately where I want to work on myself first before meeting anyone else. Just a lot of bad things have happened lately. But yeah I'm sure it isn't fun for those who swipe on me and get nothing or delayed responses.

[Legz422]

Question for guys with high counts, that evidently slept around. Firstly how do you deal with the natural escalation over time with a woman? I assume you have to keep her at some sort of distance.

Every new girl I date, we tend to grow more intimate and closer over time. Even now, I'd feel guilty if I had sex with another girl -- hell, I feel a bit guilty right now about meeting up with other girls.

Second question: Do you just not feel this guilt of being with multiple women while one may be getting attached, and figure that technically what you're doing is fine?

Not that I desire it, but I know technically I'm free to meet up with and have sex with other women; however I'd feel so guilty because it might hurt this girl to discover that.

I thought you were on the pro exclusive side when it comes to sex? I'll never be that person that has sex with multiple guys so will never understand the mindset when it comes to having multiple partners.

[Luc1fer]

I thought you were on the pro exclusive side when it comes to sex? I'll never be that person that has sex with multiple guys so will never understand the mindset when it comes to having multiple partners.

I am on the pro exclusive side. Just curious, because it's confusing to me.

[FemaleWarriorxo]

Question for guys with high counts, that evidently slept around. Firstly how do you deal with the natural escalation over time with a woman? I assume you have to keep her at some sort of distance.

Every new girl I date, we tend to grow more intimate and closer over time. Even now, I'd feel guilty if I had sex with another girl -- hell, I feel a bit guilty right now about meeting up with other girls.

Second question: Do you just not feel this guilt of being with multiple women while one may be getting attached, and figure that technically what you're doing is fine?

Not that I desire it, but I know technically I'm free to meet up with and have sex with other women; however I'd feel so guilty because it might hurt this girl to discover that.

I think most people think “well if they are doing it then I’m doing it too”

[Legz422]

I am on the pro exclusive side. Just curious, because it's confusing to me.

I really hope you don't turn into one of those guys. It always gives me hope to know there are some (albeit few) people out there who share my same thoughts on this.

I think most people think “well if they are doing it then I’m doing it too”

I think that's why it's good to talk about up front. That way you know if you're both of the same page and there's no misunderstanding or assumptions.

[Luc1fer]

I think most people think “well if they are doing it then I’m doing it too”

I suspect defensiveness is part of it, I know the thought crossed my mind before. Why am I holding back, if she's potentially doing it. So that's why I just set my expectations upfront. If she is going to break them, then she has to explicitly lie. And it's more difficult to explicitly lie than avoid the conversation.

I really hope you don't turn into one of those guys. It always gives me hope to know there are some (albeit few) people out there who share my same thoughts on this.

I think that's why it's good to talk about up front. That way you know if you're both of the same page and there's no misunderstanding or assumptions.

I can't escape that fact that it's shady on some level, unless both parties have explicit and open conversations about it.

However, I think most guys (or girls) intentionally avoid the conversation. And most people are too afraid of seeming clingy/insecure by asking the questions.

I think it's incredibly secure to set boundaries and get the information you require, for your physical and emotional health.

[Legz422]

I suspect defensiveness is part of it, I know the thought crossed my mind before. Why am I holding back, if she's potentially doing it. So that's why I just set my expectations upfront. If she is going to break them, then she has to explicitly lie. And it's more difficult to explicitly lie than avoid the conversation.

I can't escape that fact that it's shady on some level, unless both parties have explicit and open conversations about it.

However, I think most guys (or girls) intentionally avoid the conversation. And most people are too afraid of seeming clingy/insecure by asking the questions.

I think it's incredibly secure to set boundaries and get the information you require, for your physical and emotional health.

Yeah, I agree it's a hard conversation to start. People might think oh, they just want to immediately be boyfriend/girlfriend kind of thing which is not at all what my intention of being physically exclusive is about. We're all adults, we have sex drives. I don't want to wait 3, 6, or whatever months that it would take to say "we're in a relationship" but I also want to know my health is safe with that person because they're not out f'ing around. I also don't want to have sex with someone who has no interest in the possibility of it turning into a relationship down the road. I think it's a good way to weed those kind of people out.

[Luc1fer]

Yeah, I agree it's a hard conversation to start. People might think oh, they just want to immediately be boyfriend/girlfriend kind of thing which is not at all what my intention of being physically exclusive is about. We're all adults, we have sex drives. I don't want to wait 3, 6, or whatever months that it would take to say "we're in a relationship" but I also want to know my health is safe with that person because they're not out f'ing around. I also don't want to have sex with someone who has no interest in the possibility of it turning into a relationship down the road. I think it's a good way to weed those kind of people out.

I'll probably invent and start to use the term "proactive selection" because I think this is a good example.

The type of woman that responds well to my boundary, is more likely to be the type of woman that I want to be with long term. And vice versa.

With proactive selection, you will lose more women than you would otherwise, but you'll also be more likely to be attractive to the right ones.

This is a concept I heard years ago and it resonated with me. Too many people think of dating as maximizing your pool; unfortunately that pool is full of poop.

[Legz422]

I'll probably invent and start to use the term "proactive selection" because I think this is a good example.

The type of woman that responds well to my boundary, is more likely to be the type of woman that I want to be with long term. And vice versa.

With proactive selection, you will lose more women than you would otherwise, but you'll also be more likely to be attractive to the right ones.

This is a concept I heard years ago and it resonated with me. Too many people think of dating as maximizing your pool; unfortunately that pool is full of poop.

That's a great term for it and I totally agree with everything you said.

[FemaleWarriorxo]

I suspect defensiveness is part of it, I know the thought crossed my mind before. Why am I holding back, if she's potentially doing it. So that's why I just set my expectations upfront. If she is going to break them, then she has to explicitly lie. And it's more difficult to explicitly lie than avoid the conversation.

I’d say you hit the nail on the head.

I really hope you don't turn into one of those guys. It always gives me hope to know there are some (albeit few) people out there who share my same thoughts on this.



I think that's why it's good to talk about up front. That way you know if you're both of the same page and there's no misunderstanding or assumptions.

I agree with you on the top part also mama legz.

It’s always good to talk up front. I always try to and most of the time it keeps the time wasters away.


On a side note. My job offered me a position at the Newport Beach research center. Don’t know if Cali would be my thing. Especially since it’s mostly liberal men there. Also want to be around my niece since she’s coming February.

[Luc1fer]

On a side note. My job offered me a position at the Newport Beach research center. Don’t know if Cali would be my thing. Especially since it’s mostly liberal men there. Also want to be around my niece since she’s coming February.

Ye, you might hate it if you're single. I'm leaving asap.

[FemaleWarriorxo]

Ye, you might hate it if you're single. I'm leaving asap.

Yee. That’s what I was thinking about even with making new friends. At least I have a few conservative friends now. I can’t imagine how hard it’ll be in Cali. I’d rather stick in Michigan.

I don’t blame you for wanting to leave. However, if you are wanting to leave Cali then do you expect your LTR lady to dip out of Cali also?

[skinnyfat88]

I suspect defensiveness is part of it, I know the thought crossed my mind before. Why am I holding back, if she's potentially doing it. So that's why I just set my expectations upfront. If she is going to break them, then she has to explicitly lie. And it's more difficult to explicitly lie than avoid the conversation.



I can't escape that fact that it's shady on some level, unless both parties have explicit and open conversations about it.

However, I think most guys (or girls) intentionally avoid the conversation. And most people are too afraid of seeming clingy/insecure by asking the questions.

I think it's incredibly secure to set boundaries and get the information you require, for your physical and emotional health.

If you start having sex regularly (weekly) and monogamy doesn't happen even without "the conversation" then you were probably never on the same page to begin with.

[newbuck]

Question for guys with high counts, that evidently slept around. Firstly how do you deal with the natural escalation over time with a woman? I assume you have to keep her at some sort of distance.

Every new girl I date, we tend to grow more intimate and closer over time. Even now, I'd feel guilty if I had sex with another girl -- hell, I feel a bit guilty right now about meeting up with other girls.

Second question: Do you just not feel this guilt of being with multiple women while one may be getting attached, and figure that technically what you're doing is fine?

Not that I desire it, but I know technically I'm free to meet up with and have sex with other women; however I'd feel so guilty because it might hurt this girl to discover that.

Why do you feel guilt? Uncondition your mind, try meditating, and don’t listen to these outdated female virtual signalers ITT.
Men since the dawn of time have courted multiple women at the same time, only people who have been sold on these 1920 movie fantasies believe otherwise.

Biologically speaking it is in a mans best interest to connect with as many women as possible, before choosing one, and the opposite is for women.

Back on topic, I don’t feel guilt and never will personally. I don’t lie and straight up tell girls I am talking with other women and if they talk with other men I don’t get upset or jealous either.

Even if you don’t have this talk, I still wouldn’t see why you would feel guilt as neither of you owe each other any exclusivity without having talked about it.

I’m not here to convince you to change your ways, but I do think you should look inside yourself as to why you feel bad about something, that objectively speaking is morally fine.

[DustinTheHuss]

Yup I matched with a hottie and all of a sudden my sex drive returned. That must have been it. I lowered my standards to find a more relationship oriented type but I had no sex drive to go out with any of them.

[Luc1fer]

If you start having sex regularly (weekly) and monogamy doesn't happen even without "the conversation" then you were probably never on the same page to begin with.

This is the type of vagueness I’m referring to. Just be direct, and drop the “probably”.

Why not just be direct?

[Legz422]

This is the type of vagueness I’m referring to. Just be direct, and drop the “probably”.

Why not just be direct?

I'm with Luci. I think honesty and directness are important. I feel like people don't do this because they want that vagueness because they're sketchy. They want their cake and want to eat it too.

[Luc1fer]

I'm with Luci. I think honesty and directness are important. I feel like people don't do this because they want that vagueness because they're sketchy. They want their cake and want to eat it too.

Sounds like he's okay with both people having sex with multiple partners at the same time though.

Honestly that's disgusting and idk how anyone can be consciously okay with it. However, if both people agree to it, that's their choice.