Matches have pretty much died ³

[Austin317]

Had a busy couple of weeks so haven’t been using tinder and just jumped back on tinder after a good few months off. Still haven’t updated my photos and the match ratio shows.

A girl from work stayed over mine a few weeks back but then I found out the day after someone I am in direct contact with in work had corona and I wasn’t informed about it by any managers so had to get a test, could’ve caused a bit of drama, fortunately I came back negative. Gym also got shut down last week due to not following safety protocols regarding wearing a mask when inside and machines weren’t distanced 6 feet apart. Chits getting out of hand, not allowed in friends or family’s houses anymore but they’re keeping pubs and clubs open. Seems as if things are getting worse.

[Mr Beer]

So I have a question for all of you. What do you think of someone requesting that you both get tested before having sex? Would you feel insulted that someone asked? I'm petrified of STDs and the fact you can have something and be asymptomatic terrifies me. I just want to make sure I'm safe and I'm completely willing to get tested myself.

If I was serious about her, I'd feel pretty good about it because there's a great chance she's going to be clear too and it sounds like we're ditching the rubbers for the whole thing.

If I wasn't serious yeah not so much because I'd be planning on safe sex anyway plus it sounds like she's heading in a different direction to me on this.

Eh. Some of tried to say it’s offensive to ask them to but I just shrug. Caring about your health isn’t offensive. It can be annoying but not offensive. Then again I don’t mind offending people. I’d rather be up front and get things out of the way. People are way too sensitive but I have been told I can be “cold”. Can’t help it lol

It's not offensive because you're both getting tested. If it's "you get tested because I'm clean but while I totally trust you, you might secretly be a diseased skank/fukboi", well yeah.

[Legz422]

If I was serious about her, I'd feel pretty good about it because there's a great chance she's going to be clear too and it sounds like we're ditching the rubbers for the whole thing.

If I wasn't serious yeah not so much because I'd be planning on safe sex anyway plus it sounds like she's heading in a different direction to me on this.



It's not offensive because you're both getting tested. If it's "you get tested because I'm clean but while I totally trust you, you might secretly be a diseased skank/fukboi", well yeah.

Yeah, it's not about heading in another direction for me, I just want to make sure it's safe if I'm going to have sex with someone. And lets be honest, condoms suck, even for women. I'd rather not use them if I don't have to. Also, they don't prevent herpes or HPV. I'm quite sure guys would rather not use a condom for bjs.

I've only been with the same guy for the past 4+ years and haven't been tested since that ended so I'm going to definitely get tested just to be sure. So this asking about testing first is new for me.

[Luc1fer]

I understand what you mean. That’s why I always tell them up front while getting to know one another. It’s one of the best ways to weed out some people. Decent amount of men don’t take it serious until they try something and get a big ol’ no.

Women seeking commitment have weeded out men for centuries. Withholding sex for whatever reason, or even implying that you may for a period of time, is THE most effective way for a woman to weed out deceptive men.

Even complete in-denial sluts like my ex and her friends will (and probably do deep down already) realize this and will execute on it in the future.

[TBO1313]

Well I wouldn't ask right as we're about to have sex. lol Also don't get not wanting to know. Then you'd be going around infecting people.

It's just the fact of talking about doing the deed that in depth beforehand would take the excitement out of it for me. I could just be a weirdo though. As long as you stay away from men who have sex with other men and IV drug users your safe from all the bad STDs. The herp is really the only lifelong one you need to be worried about which I understand since I sure as hell wouldn't want to catch it but I was never worried enough to demand clean tests before doing the grownup

Women seeking commitment have weeded out men for centuries. Withholding sex for whatever reason, or even implying that you may for a period of time, is THE most effective way for a woman to weed out deceptive men.

Even complete in-denial sluts like my ex and her friends will (and probably do deep down already) realize this and will execute on it in the future.

Yeah this is just standard operating procedure for women weeding out fukbois. I'd wouldn't take it personally. The only way it might cause an issue is if she didn't seem that into me and made me think she was either trying to friendzone me or get free meals or something. As long as she gave the signals that she really was into me I'd be cool

[FemaleWarriorxo]

If I was serious about her, I'd feel pretty good about it because there's a great chance she's going to be clear too and it sounds like we're ditching the rubbers for the whole thing.

If I wasn't serious yeah not so much because I'd be planning on safe sex anyway plus it sounds like she's heading in a different direction to me on this.



It's not offensive because you're both getting tested. If it's "you get tested because I'm clean but while I totally trust you, you might secretly be a diseased skank/fukboi", well yeah.

It is what it is tbh. I offer to get tested myself since I ask them. I get tested every year either way lol

Plus every guy that had an issue with me asking were the emotionally unstable ones lol

Women seeking commitment have weeded out men for centuries. Withholding sex for whatever reason, or even implying that you may for a period of time, is THE most effective way for a woman to weed out deceptive men.

Even complete in-denial sluts like my ex and her friends will (and probably do deep down already) realize this and will execute on it in the future.

Pretty much lol While building trust it’s my mission to weed unstable/douchebags men out. Which doesn’t take long for me lol

[Legz422]

It's just the fact of talking about doing the deed that in depth beforehand would take the excitement out of it for me. I could just be a weirdo though. As long as you stay away from men who have sex with other men and IV drug users your safe from all the bad STDs. The herp is really the only lifelong one you need to be worried about which I understand since I sure as hell wouldn't want to catch it but I was never worried enough to demand clean tests before doing the grownup

Yeah this is just standard operating procedure for women weeding out fukbois. I'd wouldn't take it personally. The only way it might cause an issue is if she didn't seem that into me and made me think she was either trying to friendzone me or get free meals or something. As long as she gave the signals that she really was into me I'd be cool

I've never asked before either. The few ONS I've had in my life we used condoms. That was also before I knew that you can get herpes and HPV even when using condoms. There's no way I'm going to have casual sex now, so this is just something I want before having sex with someone. Since I would understand and not be offended if someone asked me for testing prior, I feel like it's a reasonable request. Just wanted to get some other opinions.

[skinnyfat88]

Plus every guy that had an issue with me asking were the emotionally unstable ones lol

This does not surprise me whatsoever.

It's honestly a pretty good way to vet your potential dates.

When do you ask them usually?

[FemaleWarriorxo]

This does not surprise me whatsoever.

It's honestly a pretty good way to vet your potential dates.

When do you ask them usually?

Im upfront with everything in the first week of talking. I dislike wasting my time lol I’d rather offend someone because if they can’t handle it then it saves me time from dealing with someone that won’t match with me

I don’t have an issue with asking personal, or “too serious” of subjects.

[skinnyfat88]

Im upfront with everything in the first week of talking. I dislike wasting my time lol I’d rather offend someone because if they can’t handle it then it saves me time from dealing with someone that won’t match with me

I don’t have an issue with asking personal, or “too serious” of subjects.

Word.
When I was on bumble a few years back I told women I had a kid before we ever met up.
Didn't get into deep/personal topics by any means but might as well get dealbreakers outta the way.

[Luc1fer]

Im upfront with everything in the first week of talking. I dislike wasting my time lol I’d rather offend someone because if they can’t handle it then it saves me time from dealing with someone that won’t match with me

I don’t have an issue with asking personal, or “too serious” of subjects.

You just have to be aware of the set of guys that see it as a challenge, and almost prefer if you're hard to get. Some guys will spend months chasing a woman (it's actually mind boggling), eventually convincing her he's in it for more, they have sex and then he immediately loses interest. Some guys claim it isn't intentional and something just switches in their brain.

I've spoken to some guys on this forum that have that exact mindset; and know some IRL.

They are more difficult to weed out, but I suspect "what's the longest relationship you've had" is a reasonable indicator. Also many of them will start saying chit like how special you are compared to every other girl, and how special your connection is etc.. stuff that emotionally insecure women absolutely love to hear and self-delude themselves to believe. Similar to people vulnerable to "love bombing" BPDs/NPDs.

[FemaleWarriorxo]

You just have to be aware of the set of guys that see it as a challenge, and almost prefer if you're hard to get. Some guys will spend months chasing a woman (it's actually mind boggling), eventually convincing her he's in it for more, they have sex and then he immediately loses interest. Some guys claim it isn't intentional and something just switches in their brain.

I've spoken to some guys on this forum that have that exact mindset; and know some IRL.

They are more difficult to weed out, but I suspect "what's the longest relationship you've had" is a reasonable indicator. Also many of them will start saying chit like how special you are compared to every other girl, and how special your connection is etc.. stuff that emotionally insecure women absolutely love to hear and self-delude themselves to believe. Similar to people vulnerable to "love bombing" BPDs/NPDs.

I’ve ran into a few of them and know what to kinda look for. Obviously we all fall for bs at times. One of the reasons why I always try to be slightly “cold” before even getting serious with a guy.

I’d say “what’s the longest relationship” is a good way to weed them out also bring up “how do you feel about marriage?” And pay attention to their body language. Ahhh I can’t imagine playing any stupid games to get laid.

[twovalvekid]

What's a good go to "opener" these days?

[witblitz550]

I had a date from a girl I met on Tinder last night. On my recent Tinder stint, she was one of two women I found interesting enough to move a conversation from Tinder to WhatsApp. The other smokes so it was a no from me and she understood it.

- I have been single for many years and have not been on any proper dates so I did not really know what to expect or do. Of all years I chose 2020 to to put myself out there for a change.
- The date was with a Russian lady that was previously married and has no kids.
- I suggested getting drinks two weeks ago but she cancelled. I decided to give her a second chance as our government essentially said on day of the date that her industry will need to remain shut for a few more months.
- When we spoke earlier this week she suggested meeting last night.
- Met up after work.
- No awkward silences.
- The conversations were very free flowing. We are both quite direct and straight forward.
- Grabbing a drink turned into a meal and desert as well. I guess I did something right then.
- Now she has asked me if I could teach her how to ride a motorcycle.
- All in all a good date.
- 10/10
- Would do again.

[wutevs]

Tips for someone new to the dating apps game? Which app do you all recommend?

Trying to find guys that aren't in my circle of friends, less gossip and less drama to deal with if it doesn't work out. Should I wait till after covid?

[twovalvekid]

I had a date from a girl I met on Tinder last night. On my recent Tinder stint, she was one of two women I found interesting enough to move a conversation from Tinder to WhatsApp. The other smokes so it was a no from me and she understood it.

- I have been single for many years and have not been on any proper dates so I did not really know what to expect or do. Of all years I chose 2020 to to put myself out there for a change.
- The date was with a Russian lady that was previously married and has no kids.
- I suggested getting drinks two weeks ago but she cancelled. I decided to give her a second chance as our government essentially said on day of the date that her industry will need to remain shut for a few more months.
- When we spoke earlier this week she suggested meeting last night.
- Met up after work.
- No awkward silences.
- The conversations were very free flowing. We are both quite direct and straight forward.
- Grabbing a drink turned into a meal and desert as well. I guess I did something right then.
- Now she has asked me if I could teach her how to ride a motorcycle.
- All in all a good date.
- 10/10
- Would do again.

The biggest indicator is how easy conversation is. If it isnt, then at least my opinion, run.

[ItsJamesthefin]

Pretty good 2nd date. We were having alot of fun joking around and flirting. Only thing that kind of bothered me was not even offering to split the check. I don't mind paying especially if I ask you out but atleast offer. Am I in the wrong thinking that it should be that way? I most likely will see her again and see where things go from there. In the mean time I'm gonna still date other people and feel things out.

[brightbrah]

Pretty good 2nd date. We were having alot of fun joking around and flirting. Only thing that kind of bothered me was not even offering to split the check. I don't mind paying especially if I ask you out but atleast offer. Am I in the wrong thinking that it should be that way? I most likely will see her again and see where things go from there. In the mean time I'm gonna still date other people and feel things out.

Glad to hear it went well, and best of luck on the 3rd. I see miscers going both ways on this subject, possibly influenced by where you are from, but I've never encountered a situation like you mentioned. It's not a big deal, everyone pays their own way when first meeting (or one person buys the first round of drinks (me) and they buy the 2nd round), no biggie.

Actually, I think I'm at a net gain as far as girls buying me things goes. Most memorable is a 2nd date where she offered to pay our tab, we went back to her place, and she sent me home with a case of Mountain Dew Baja Blast.

[Luc1fer]

Pretty good 2nd date. We were having alot of fun joking around and flirting. Only thing that kind of bothered me was not even offering to split the check. I don't mind paying especially if I ask you out but atleast offer. Am I in the wrong thinking that it should be that way? I most likely will see her again and see where things go from there. In the mean time I'm gonna still date other people and feel things out.

That's a yellow flag for me too, unless she's broke or jobless etc. There's nuance to this though...

Most women I've dated are perfectly happy to let me pay for stuff, some were just equitable as default. It's difficult to tease out if it's culture/tradition, innate (I certainly believe this is part of it regardless), or gold digging on some level. Or a mix of all of those factors.

As a man, I can't relate - I always want to pay my share or it bothers me.

The innate factor is pretty interesting, and lines up well with evolutionary biology/psychology. Even non gold-digging women, in my opinion, will trigger innate attraction if you signal that provide/protect instinct. Being capable of paying is just one small part of that equation. This also lines up with the idea of "dating up", where career women are struggling.

[deltakappabrah]

Tips for someone new to the dating apps game? Which app do you all recommend?

Trying to find guys that aren't in my circle of friends, less gossip and less drama to deal with if it doesn't work out. Should I wait till after covid?

hinge is best imo

cmb and bumble are ok

also if you're a girl, doesn't really matter

[twovalvekid]

hinge is best imo

cmb and bumble are ok

also if you're a girl, doesn't really matter

Havent tried CMB yet. Hinge is....yeah no after going through.

[Luc1fer]

#1 Hinge
#2 CMB

The rest are trash.

[FemaleWarriorxo]

Tips for someone new to the dating apps game? Which app do you all recommend?

Trying to find guys that aren't in my circle of friends, less gossip and less drama to deal with if it doesn't work out. Should I wait till after covid?

Yeeee I didn’t expect you in this thread chick <3

Like the boyo’s stated hinge is the best. Bumble is alright since you’re a female.

Don’t wait until after COVID but just be safe.

[wutevs]

hinge is best imo

cmb and bumble are ok

also if you're a girl, doesn't really matter

Hm, a lot of my friends uses Hinge as well, will have to try that and/or CMB. Is it usually the same people on all these apps? Can't imagine the pool to be completely different across all apps if it's the same location.

Yeeee I didn’t expect you in this thread chick <3

Like the boyo’s stated hinge is the best. Bumble is alright since you’re a female.

Don’t wait until after COVID but just be safe.

Haha, the thought of dating makes me so lazy esp with my work schedule, but your girl needs to start dating again! How has your experience been? I browsed a few pages in the other thread and saw some guy going crazy and accusing you of talking to others! Lawdddd imagine being in a relationship with someone like that.

Pretty good 2nd date. We were having alot of fun joking around and flirting. Only thing that kind of bothered me was not even offering to split the check. I don't mind paying especially if I ask you out but atleast offer. Am I in the wrong thinking that it should be that way? I most likely will see her again and see where things go from there. In the mean time I'm gonna still date other people and feel things out.

That's definitely weird, especially if she didn't offer the first time either. I'd drop her like a hot potato if she doesn't offer on the third date cus I don't think anyone is that clueless. It's always nice if a guy pays on the first date but I still offer or at least try to cover the tip.

Do you all think it's weird for a girl to suggest going to Chipotle on the first date? I don't want first dates to be this whole ordeal of sitting in a restaurant for a few hours, would rather spend 30 mins in a fast food restaurant and see if I click with the guy, but I'm not really into coffee dates either (I need to eat either way lol).

[Luc1fer]

I was chatting back and forth with this one girl for a few days, I suggested meeting, and she says she works 80 hour weeks so it would be difficult and would have to squeeze something in some weekend evening.

I don't even believe her, and if I did wtf is she doing on the app if she's too busy to barely meet. Attention I guess...

[DustinTheHuss]

I was chatting back and forth with this one girl for a few days, I suggested meeting, and she says she works 80 hour weeks so it would be difficult and would have to squeeze something in some weekend evening.

I don't even believe her, and if I did wtf is she doing on the app if she's too busy to barely meet. Attention I guess...

It can happen. I'm in a similar boat where I don't have the time to meet someone with my work/athletic schedule, but it's easy to swipe as it takes little effort. Meeting someone takes a lot of effort. As I'm older I'm more tired after working out and don't have the energy to shower and go meet someone.

[Legz422]

Hm, a lot of my friends uses Hinge as well, will have to try that and/or CMB. Is it usually the same people on all these apps? Can't imagine the pool to be completely different across all apps if it's the same location.

Haha, the thought of dating makes me so lazy esp with my work schedule, but your girl needs to start dating again! How has your experience been? I browsed a few pages in the other thread and saw some guy going crazy and accusing you of talking to others! Lawdddd imagine being in a relationship with someone like that.

That's definitely weird, especially if she didn't offer the first time either. I'd drop her like a hot potato if she doesn't offer on the third date cus I don't think anyone is that clueless. It's always nice if a guy pays on the first date but I still offer or at least try to cover the tip.

Do you all think it's weird for a girl to suggest going to Chipotle on the first date? I don't want first dates to be this whole ordeal of sitting in a restaurant for a few hours, would rather spend 30 mins in a fast food restaurant and see if I click with the guy, but I'm not really into coffee dates either (I need to eat either way lol).

Around my area, it seems to be mostly the same people on all the different apps from what I remember when I online dated 5 years ago.

I always did either meet for a drink or at a coffee place. I like the first meet to be really low key and no pressure since you don't even know if you'll like each other in person.

I was chatting back and forth with this one girl for a few days, I suggested meeting, and she says she works 80 hour weeks so it would be difficult and would have to squeeze something in some weekend evening.

I don't even believe her, and if I did wtf is she doing on the app if she's too busy to barely meet. Attention I guess...

Yeah, don't get that either. Why bother if you're too busy to meet?!

It can happen. I'm in a similar boat where I don't have the time to meet someone with my work/athletic schedule, but it's easy to swipe as it takes little effort. Meeting someone takes a lot of effort. As I'm older I'm more tired after working out and don't have the energy to shower and go meet someone.

Why even bother being on dating apps then? I'd guess that if it was someone you were really interested in, you'd find the time and energy to see them.

[FemaleWarriorxo]

Haha, the thought of dating makes me so lazy esp with my work schedule, but your girl needs to start dating again! How has your experience been? I browsed a few pages in the other thread and saw some guy going crazy and accusing you of talking to others! Lawdddd imagine being in a relationship with someone like that.

I get what you mean Lmafo! Work, school, taking care of family, then volunteer work. It all makes me want to chill but I enjoy a good male companionship lol

My experience? Has been up and down. A few crazies as you can see lol also a few “flyer boys” but you just have to weed them out.

What are you exactly looking for?

I was chatting back and forth with this one girl for a few days, I suggested meeting, and she says she works 80 hour weeks so it would be difficult and would have to squeeze something in some weekend evening.

I don't even believe her, and if I did wtf is she doing on the app if she's too busy to barely meet. Attention I guess...

What is her career? Sometimes I can hit 60-70hrs in a week due to work, school, family life, and volunteer stuff. Especially if the engineers hate the designs

But like I always say, if there’s a will then there is a way. It’s not hard to slide in a quick date lol

[Luc1fer]

Why even bother being on dating apps then? I'd guess that if it was someone you were really interested in, you'd find the time and energy to see them.

Maybe they're waiting for a unicorn, while wasting everyone else's time.

[wutevs]

Around my area, it seems to be mostly the same people on all the different apps from what I remember when I online dated 5 years ago.

I always did either meet for a drink or at a coffee place. I like the first meet to be really low key and no pressure since you don't even know if you'll like each other in person.

Do ya not use dating apps anymore? Yeah, I've been on a first date at this fancy schmancy restaurant once and the guy went all out. Bill was prob $200 just for dinner, I offered to pay my portion and he didn't let me. Felt really bad cus I wasn't feeling him. Much less guilt if a guy buys me a burrito bowl and it doesn't work out lol

I get what you mean Lmafo! Work, school, taking care of family, then volunteer work. It all makes me want to chill but I enjoy a good male companionship lol

My experience? Has been up and down. A few crazies as you can see lol also a few “flyer boys” but you just have to weed them out.

What are you exactly looking for?

What are flyer boys? Lol. No idea what I'm looking for, prob just casual dating right now till I find someone I really hit it off with. Not sure when I'll download the app but def trying not to have too much expectations.

Have you met many guys from these apps? I'm always wary about meeting strangers lol

Maybe they're waiting for a unicorn, while wasting everyone else's time.

I'd pass on that. Something I've learned over the years (doesn't even have to do with dating), is that people will make time for what's important to them. No one is so busy that they can't carve some time out for a lunch/dinner date. Pretty chitty of her to waste your time though to only say she's too busy to fit you into her schedule.