Matches have pretty much died ³

[skinnyfat88]

Update 2:

So I proposed to have dinner at my place and that I would cook for us. She agreed.

The morning before we were supposed to meet she texts me that she thinks I'm a wonderful guy, but we're too different and shouldn't meet anymore. **** kind of hurt, since I really liked hanging out with her and I thought it was mutual.

I thanked her for the nice moments and wished her all the best.

Not sure if I did something wrong or it just wasn't meant to be.

Chit sucks and feels like my confidence took a hit. Time to hit the gym again I guess.

Your confidence shouldn't take a hit. You had her all over you both dates so you clearly did enough in the attraction department.

IMO your actions showed your primary focus was escalating towards sex. Did she (or either of you) say if you were looking for just casual or something more?

While she was clearly into you, she probably also felt like this was leading to something physical and nothing more, and even if she wasn't looking for something serious she might've been put off by how aggressive you were. IMO it's best to be assertive with the escalating up to making out (& touching/grabbing their legs/hips/butt/back etc but nothing more). Usually to go past that point I either let them take it to the next level or just ask if they want to move it to the bedroom.

If by any chance you are looking to legitimately date then probably slow it down quite a bit. If you're just looking for primarily casual/fwb/etc, keep escalating quick but just pause at that last point and use a bit more words and less actions.

[bradlehman]

^Good advice above.

[GYMPsycho]

Thanks to all you brahs for the advice (ran out of reps, but will get you on recharge).

I was looking to date her, not just a FWB type of thing and I do remember her asking me what I'm looking for on our first date. I told her that I'm just looking for the right company (someone to have a good time with) and if we click - progress into something more serious/relationship. She looked pleased with my answer from what I could tell. And if that answer was the problem we wouldn't have met a second time. I didn't ask her what she was looking for though.

Yes, it was clear I wanted to have sex with her, but she wanted it too (was pretty obvious). First date she was moaning, talking about not minding being choked and saying I'm such a gentleman for not grabbing her ass (which I slapped right after she said that, and yes she liked it). On our second date I clearly remember her saying stuff like "I've heard our zodiacs make a great sex combo" and "wow you have large hands - I heard that means you have something else that's large" (inb4 proudmanlet). Not to mention I just put her hand in my pants but she was the one that whipped my entire cawk out, lol. Yeah I probably shouldn't have asked her to suck it, but hey - she didn't mention anything about this later on or the next day. On the contrary - the next day we even joked about how we could've spent the entire night "talking" and she said it's great that I would like to do that.

And then in the last text she sent me she said "I think we are too different" not "we are looking for different things". If I was too aggressive she could've just slowed down a bit or confronted me and ask me if all I'm after is just sex. That's just what I think, I could be wrong of course.

Anyways I will take notes of this and hopefully improve myself. I feel a bit chitty, because she looked like a decent girl and I actually felt something for her (which happens rarely), so it would be a shame if I pushed her away with unclear intentions. I was never after just sex.

To be honest I think probably some guy (ex) showed up the days after our second date and that's what caused the sudden 180 degree change from wanting to come over and have dinner together to directly rejecting me.

She hasn't removed me from social media, but I guess it's out of the question to contact her and ask her why she thinks we're so different, because I honestly don't know?

[bradlehman]

To be honest I think probably some guy (ex) showed up the days after our second date and that's what caused the sudden 180 degree change from wanting to come over and have dinner together to directly rejecting me.

Would not surprise me at all based on what you have said. Very common with girls who just got out of relationships or got mad at an existing FWB sort of guy for whatever reason and decided to look around at possible replacements. One girl I was hanging out with the other day (just hanging out as part of a group, not on a date) was telling me how she is currently hooking up with a few guys and talking to several more but would likely go straight over and bang her ex (whom she dumped) if he called her and suggested she come over. In a lot of cases that will result in talking about "working things out," and so the prospects she had end up getting ghosted for at least some period of time and maybe permanently.

[Luc1fer]

To be honest I think probably some guy (ex) showed up the days after our second date and that's what caused the sudden 180 degree change from wanting to come over and have dinner together to directly rejecting me.

Probably. My advice is to stop overthinking this. We're all slightly autistic on this forum, and will conjure reasons and scenarios for every outcome.

If you didn't obviously do anything wrong, there's nothing to change.

[mryamamoto]

Thanks to all you brahs for the advice (ran out of reps, but will get you on recharge).

I was looking to date her, not just a FWB type of thing and I do remember her asking me what I'm looking for on our first date. I told her that I'm just looking for the right company (someone to have a good time with) and if we click - progress into something more serious/relationship. She looked pleased with my answer from what I could tell. And if that answer was the problem we wouldn't have met a second time. I didn't ask her what she was looking for though.

Yes, it was clear I wanted to have sex with her, but she wanted it too (was pretty obvious). First date she was moaning, talking about not minding being choked and saying I'm such a gentleman for not grabbing her ass (which I slapped right after she said that, and yes she liked it). On our second date I clearly remember her saying stuff like "I've heard our zodiacs make a great sex combo" and "wow you have large hands - I heard that means you have something else that's large" (inb4 proudmanlet). Not to mention I just put her hand in my pants but she was the one that whipped my entire cawk out, lol. Yeah I probably shouldn't have asked her to suck it, but hey - she didn't mention anything about this later on or the next day. On the contrary - the next day we even joked about how we could've spent the entire night "talking" and she said it's great that I would like to do that.

And then in the last text she sent me she said "I think we are too different" not "we are looking for different things". If I was too aggressive she could've just slowed down a bit or confronted me and ask me if all I'm after is just sex. That's just what I think, I could be wrong of course.

Anyways I will take notes of this and hopefully improve myself. I feel a bit chitty, because she looked like a decent girl and I actually felt something for her (which happens rarely), so it would be a shame if I pushed her away with unclear intentions. I was never after just sex.

To be honest I think probably some guy (ex) showed up the days after our second date and that's what caused the sudden 180 degree change from wanting to come over and have dinner together to directly rejecting me.

She hasn't removed me from social media, but I guess it's out of the question to contact her and ask her why she thinks we're so different, because I honestly don't know?

Gotta let the cake bake a little more than that. Learnt it myself the hard way. Females want some time to fantasize about doing physical ****, before getting down and dirty. Not talking about the all out sloot types. They have the need to romanticize their future partners.

You're right, usually when a girl goes full cold on you, 95% it's because of an another man. She might be back, the physical interest is there, you're just the option B or C at this point now. Females rarely unfollow/unfriend the guys they next, they never want to burn the bridges completely. They like to keep their admirer line as long as possible.

No need to feel down. Let her deal with her own issues.

[skinnyfat88]

How old are you/her?

She might just have regret for unzipping your pants and taking it out and looking slooty so early on.

[GYMPsycho]

How old are you/her?

She might just have regret for unzipping your pants and taking it out and looking slooty so early on.

I'm 30, she's 32 (doesn't bother me at all). I'm not saying it's not possible for her to regret it, but to completely cut me off like that (after accepting to meet) doesn't make much sense. She could've handled it in many different ways if she wanted things to keep going, even if she regretted this. Could've said she doesn't feel comfortable to come over yet, to slow things down, to meet some place else, etc. Instead she made the decision to cut the cord completely.

A few things I forgot to mention - on our first date she said she's going to a therapist and I told her that's fine and I don't really care (which is true). She then told me it was a "test" and I passed it, lol. I didn't ask her why she's going, since I didn't want to press the subject so early on, but would've asked her soon.

Then on our second date when we were in the car she told me that when her therapist asked her what she's looking for in a man - she thought a man like this doesn't exist. However, she then said that she sees these qualities in me now. Of course I took that as a big compliment. That's why I was even more stunned by her decision to call things off.

In order to get a better picture of the situation - the complete text of her last message to me was: "Hey, I thought about this a lot during the past few days and I think we're very different and shouldn't meet anymore. You're a wonderful man and I don't want to waste your time. I wish with all my heart that you manage to find what you're looking for".

I responded with "Hey, you're also an amazing girl and I want to thank you for all the nice moments. I really had a great time with you, even if it was quite short. I hope I didn't push you away with something. I wish you all the best." (and she hearted it).

In my opinion I either pushed her away by showing too much interest or there's someone else in the picture.

So yeah, I do admit I need to slow things down and will take it easier next time, but I just felt a big attraction towards her and couldn't help myself. Live and learn I guess.

[mattb717]

Get off the apps.

[bradlehman]

I'm 30, she's 32 (doesn't bother me at all). I'm not saying it's not possible for her to regret it, but to completely cut me off like that (after accepting to meet) doesn't make much sense. She could've handled it in many different ways if she wanted things to keep going, even if she regretted this. Could've said she doesn't feel comfortable to come over yet, to slow things down, to meet some place else, etc. Instead she made the decision to cut the cord completely.

A few things I forgot to mention - on our first date she said she's going to a therapist and I told her that's fine and I don't really care (which is true). She then told me it was a "test" and I passed it, lol. I didn't ask her why she's going, since I didn't want to press the subject so early on, but would've asked her soon.

Then on our second date when we were in the car she told me that when her therapist asked her what she's looking for in a man - she thought a man like this doesn't exist. However, she then said that she sees these qualities in me now. Of course I took that as a big compliment. That's why I was even more stunned by her decision to call things off.

In order to get a better picture of the situation - the complete text of her last message to me was: "Hey, I thought about this a lot during the past few days and I think we're very different and shouldn't meet anymore. You're a wonderful man and I don't want to waste your time. I wish with all my heart that you manage to find what you're looking for".

I responded with "Hey, you're also an amazing girl and I want to thank you for all the nice moments. I really had a great time with you, even if it was quite short. I hope I didn't push you away with something. I wish you all the best." (and she hearted it).

In my opinion I either pushed her away by showing too much interest or there's someone else in the picture.

So yeah, I do admit I need to slow things down and will take it easier next time, but I just felt a big attraction towards her and couldn't help myself. Live and learn I guess.

Not sure, brah, but something about her sounds a bit "off" based on the additional details provided. Seems very weird to mention on a first date that you're in therapy (not judging since I also go to one now and then, but it's odd to bring up so early) and then on a second date to tell a guy you barely know that he seems to check the boxes of your ideal man. Might have a bit of a screw loose or maybe just an unusually open person. I would find those sorts of things odd so early on.

[GYMPsycho]

Not sure, brah, but something about her sounds a bit "off" based on the additional details provided. Seems very weird to mention on a first date that you're in therapy (not judging since I also go to one now and then, but it's odd to bring up so early) and then on a second date to tell a guy you barely know that he seems to check the boxes of your ideal man. Might have a bit of a screw loose or maybe just an unusually open person. I would find those sorts of things odd so early on.

Yeah, I also don't judge, but to be honest I missed a few more "odd" details when I think about it.

1. When we first met and I asked her how she's doing, she told me that she's feeling pretty nervous and when I asked her why she said "Well, idk.. you could be a psycho or a serial killer" (inb4 strong username to post correlation). I lold and told her to relax and that we're going to a public place.
2. On the second date she told me she knows where I work and I was a little taken aback. I asked her how she knows this and she said she just checked my linkedin profile. She also asked me if I checked hers and I said "nah, I'm not a stalker, lol". She does have a good job in a similar field to mine though, which is cool.
3. Said she has gay friends (both men and women) and asked me if that's a problem for me - told her I don't care, as long as she's straight, lol. Then she told me this was also some sort of "test" and at that point a red lamp started to flash a bit, lol.

Besides those things we clicked pretty well and all was great. Especially the physical attraction was definitely there.

[xbluexhawkx]

Been talking to this girl/hanging out/banging for 3 months and I don't think I want a relationship with her anymore

She's been pissing me off about chit and I am young and entering my prime

I miss slooting around and I don't feel like giving up a fun life for a sloot that's already giving me doubts

Been thinking about this for the past week

[Mountaineer92]

Been talking to this girl/hanging out/banging for 3 months and I don't think I want a relationship with her anymore

She's been pissing me off about chit and I am young and entering my prime

I miss slooting around and I don't feel like giving up a fun life for a sloot that's already giving me doubts

Been thinking about this for the past week

then you know what to do. you will grow to resent her more the longer this goes on.



anyhow i ended up on a FB group of "are we dating the same guy" that a bunch of women i guess post in lol. women on apps can see 10 guys a week, "talk" to 50 guys... i talk to a few, maybe go on some dates, i end up on fb groups.


this is why im glad i quit online dating too. they tend to have mental issues

[xbluexhawkx]

yeah it's over now lmao

I opened the roster back up before it officially ended

city boy summer incoming

[FastBack6]

I'm 30, she's 32 (doesn't bother me at all). I'm not saying it's not possible for her to regret it, but to completely cut me off like that (after accepting to meet) doesn't make much sense. She could've handled it in many different ways if she wanted things to keep going, even if she regretted this. Could've said she doesn't feel comfortable to come over yet, to slow things down, to meet some place else, etc. Instead she made the decision to cut the cord completely.

A few things I forgot to mention - on our first date she said she's going to a therapist and I told her that's fine and I don't really care (which is true). She then told me it was a "test" and I passed it, lol. I didn't ask her why she's going, since I didn't want to press the subject so early on, but would've asked her soon.

Then on our second date when we were in the car she told me that when her therapist asked her what she's looking for in a man - she thought a man like this doesn't exist. However, she then said that she sees these qualities in me now. Of course I took that as a big compliment. That's why I was even more stunned by her decision to call things off.

In order to get a better picture of the situation - the complete text of her last message to me was: "Hey, I thought about this a lot during the past few days and I think we're very different and shouldn't meet anymore. You're a wonderful man and I don't want to waste your time. I wish with all my heart that you manage to find what you're looking for".

I responded with "Hey, you're also an amazing girl and I want to thank you for all the nice moments. I really had a great time with you, even if it was quite short. I hope I didn't push you away with something. I wish you all the best." (and she hearted it).

In my opinion I either pushed her away by showing too much interest or there's someone else in the picture.

So yeah, I do admit I need to slow things down and will take it easier next time, but I just felt a big attraction towards her and couldn't help myself. Live and learn I guess.

There’s definitely someone else. Either an ex or some guy who was just hitting it and not giving her commitment. They contacted her and her ego has to go try to see if she can make them dance to her tune.

That’s all it is. Women don’t go from 100 to 0 like that unless they have unfinished business with another man that they want to try again.

[HockeyBacon18]

lmao was at a party last week and my buddy brought over a couple girls. 30 people or so at the party, so I didn't really talk to either of them. Next day, one adds me on FB. Okay cool. Didn't really bother to message her or anything.

So then Thursday I get a hinge notification that I matched with the SAME girl, I mean I figured when she randomly added me on fb that was the girl version of shooting her shot.

But here's the kicker, on hinge you can see the date you "swiped right" or whatever. Mine was from DECEMBER 8th. LMAO did this girl just go through hundreds of "likes" to find me.

[xbluexhawkx]

Since I broke up with that girl on Monday, 2 girls that I used to fw alot randomly hit me up yesterday and today

How'd they know lmfao

I told one of them to fk off and the other one I have a soft spot for (im an idiot)

[HockeyBacon18]

lmao was at a party last week and my buddy brought over a couple girls. 30 people or so at the party, so I didn't really talk to either of them. Next day, one adds me on FB. Okay cool. Didn't really bother to message her or anything.

So then Thursday I get a hinge notification that I matched with the SAME girl, I mean I figured when she randomly added me on fb that was the girl version of shooting her shot.

But here's the kicker, on hinge you can see the date you "swiped right" or whatever. Mine was from DECEMBER 8th. LMAO did this girl just go through hundreds of "likes" to find me.

met her at a bar last night, stayed at her place

[Eggiesinabasket]

I know I mainly just lurk this thread instead of contributing.
And I know there's no context to this post
But I just needed a place to vent--it is related to relationships:

https://vocaroo.com/1bH5OdewwMQh

That is all.


^^^also I hope that if you stayed over at hers last night, that generally means things are going well. Have you made plans to hang out again?

[HockeyBacon18]

I know I mainly just lurk this thread instead of contributing.
And I know there's no context to this post
But I just needed a place to vent--it is related to relationships:

https://vocaroo.com/1bH5OdewwMQh

That is all.


^^^also I hope that if you stayed over at hers last night, that generally means things are going well. Have you made plans to hang out again?

gonna try and set something up for later this week/weekend. Were in the same program but different years so the week is busy for me and her too I imagine

[awwchit2]

Since I broke up with that girl on Monday, 2 girls that I used to fw alot randomly hit me up yesterday and today

How'd they know lmfao

I told one of them to fk off and the other one I have a soft spot for (im an idiot)

city boy

[Eggiesinabasket]

gonna try and set something up for later this week/weekend. Were in the same program but different years so the week is busy for me and her too I imagine

So how are things progressing?

I find it works better when 2 people are sorta in the same field or in school together because they tend to understand each other's schedules and time limitations

[iloveus]

Eggiesinabasket

[Eggiesinabasket]

>_< I don't know how much you know, but at this point I agree... I pretty much am a bass tard from a basket. But it's better than living with regrets.

[HockeyBacon18]

So how are things progressing?

I find it works better when 2 people are sorta in the same field or in school together because they tend to understand each other's schedules and time limitations

things are going slow, as to be expected as the semester ends. She ended up cancelling a date since she had a buncha school work to do (very fair) but we met up again last night and had a great night and I stayed over again

[brightbrah]

It is fascinating how these girls let you know loud and clear that they're into you after the first date.
Went for drinks with this girl on Wednesday, now she's constantly texting me and it's getting annoying. Prior to hanging out, her responses took forever and she rescheduled the time we were originally supposed to hang out, etc.

We had a good conversation but she went to an Ivy League so we come from different backgrounds for sure... Been a while since I've been laid boys so I guess I'll pursue lol

[Luc1fer]

It is fascinating how these girls let you know loud and clear that they're into you after the first date.

It's always easy when both people are interested.

[brightbrah]

It's always easy when both people are interested.

How's it going luci? still seeing that one girl consistently?

[HockeyBacon18]

things are going slow, as to be expected as the semester ends. She ended up cancelling a date since she had a buncha school work to do (very fair) but we met up again last night and had a great night and I stayed over again

hung out again a few nights ago... now im down bad, she's got me checking up on her. not a great look for the kid

[brightbrah]

3rd date she wouldn't let me hit it. But still texts me first everyday with less enthusiasm compared to before. I assume I'm being backburnered?