Matches have pretty much died ³

[Ninshark]

woke up to 6 matches. All meh. None have responded.

Also going to stop fapping/watching porn this entire month.

let's see pics of these meh matches.

[DustinTheHuss]

I agree actually, that nothing is fun without a gf. This is not a guy thing that Dustin doesn't understand, this is just an us thing, that some people experience. I know it will be frustrating, but if nothing happens on those apps at the end, it's time to try something different. Take a break from girls and just work on yourself for half a year, you might even find someone during the process, and then get back into it.

I think it's even more brutal for me as for 12 years my life was all about my daughter--taking her to birthday parties, amusement parks, play dates, to the playground, etc. Then all of a sudden that stopped and I was only good for driving to soccer practice, and now that she's driving I'm really not needed at all, except for a bank account.

It's hard to move forward a build a new lifestyle with the adventure group and returning to tennis league, Bible study, and doing volunteer work. But I know otherwise I'll just take 3 hour naps and be depressed most of the weekend and not leave the house. Who wants to do that?

Yeah I miss having a male companion. I really haven't had one more than a couple of months for 16 years. But I just don't even get a connection with a 40+ guy on the first date, and I haven't even gotten to a first date since May. We just message and then it sort of dies out because the guy will say something creepy that he wants anal, toys and threesomes (that was 2 days ago).

The 40+ guys on Bumble are creepy af. The 3 guys I talk to under 25 don't bother me for nude pics and talk about anal and 3somes. Sheesh. We talk about our everyday lives on Snapchat, even though I don't like that app, but they love it.

[randomuser12345]

I think it's even more brutal for me as for 12 years my life was all about my daughter--taking her to birthday parties, amusement parks, play dates, to the playground, etc. Then all of a sudden that stopped and I was only good for driving to soccer practice, and now that she's driving I'm really not needed at all, except for a bank account.

It's hard to move forward a build a new lifestyle with the adventure group and returning to tennis league, Bible study, and doing volunteer work. But I know otherwise I'll just take 3 hour naps and be depressed most of the weekend and not leave the house. Who wants to do that?

Yeah I miss having a male companion. I really haven't had one more than a couple of months for 16 years. But I just don't even get a connection with a 40+ guy on the first date, and I haven't even gotten to a first date since May. We just message and then it sort of dies out because the guy will say something creepy that he wants anal, toys and threesomes (that was 2 days ago).

The 40+ guys on Bumble are creepy af. The 3 guys I talk to under 25 don't bother me for nude pics and talk about anal and 3somes. Sheesh. We talk about our everyday lives on Snapchat, even though I don't like that app, but they love it.

Is it creepy cos you don't find them attractive sexually?

[DustinTheHuss]

Is it creepy cos you don't find them attractive sexually?

It’s creepy that men over 40 would write like that. I would expect men over 40 to want more of a companion vs just a sexual partner.

Don’t they get lonely on weekends and want to do fun things like weekend trips or concerts?

[imbored21]

hinge says i've seen everyone who meets my preference and now it's only showing me uggos. lmao. So how do you meet girls if you have no social circle?? This is lame.

[imbored21]

let's see pics of these meh matches.

this is an example of a "meh" match.

An average looking girl who is extremely ****ign weird. (9.5% of my matches)
I'd be down if it was painless (message + instant number+ meetup, no bs, and they are fun in person)

Spoiler!

and this is an uggo (90% of my matches) just can't do it :/

Spoiler!

this is a cute match that I'd actually have fun with and be excited to meet (0.5% of my matches)

Spoiler!

[randomuser12345]

It’s creepy that men over 40 would write like that. I would expect men over 40 to want more of a companion vs just a sexual partner.

Don’t they get lonely on weekends and want to do fun things like weekend trips or concerts?

What i don't get about girls and their need for a friends of opposite gender. If i get lonely i would go and meet male friends that i know for decades. The only thing i can't do with them - sex. So naturally, i want that from girls at 1st place and everything else - bonus.

Or, you wouldn't mind waiting if you were guaranteed sex. You've made this transactional.

A girl has a ONS, or sleeps with a guy the first time they meet after matching on a dating app. Your thought process turns that in to "she did sex with him but not me, what's wrong with me?" Or even worse, "she's manipulative and toxic." In both cases you've taken her actions, actions that had nothing to do with you, and injected insecurities. You're looking at it from your perspective.

You have also done her a disservice in believing that she is incapable of learning from past experiences and altering future behavior. Could she be stringing you along? Sure. That's a part of dating, a part of life. We take the good with the bad, and most importantly we learn from such experiences and hopefully not become jaded.

What do you lose by not placing a judgement on her and simply seeing where things go? You don't have to commit large amounts of time or money or emotion. The possible reward, however, could be someone who has lived some life and is better for it; making her a stronger partner and less likely to fuk you over in the worst way.

/dear diary

Nope. I do mind waiting even if sex is guaranteed knowing her ex didn't wait at all. If she has the same policy for every guy - i'm okay with that. I don't care about sex all that much. For me it's more about feeling desired and respect.

In fact i had a girl that was ready to f*ck with me on the 2 date, but when she mentioned that she slept with a guy on a 1st date i completely lost interest in her and told her to piss off. Not even a bragging cos God knows i have big drought spells caused by such actions.

[imbored21]

tried hitting up girls I've met before on dating apps.

Got told I'm too introverted and the most introverted person they've ever met
(btw these girls just sat there quietly and barely said anything too)

Autism is a death sentence guys. Girls just want guys to do all the work and they get what they want because they have options.

It's completely over for me. I need to take a face first dive off the Statue of Liberty.

[kimm4]

It’s creepy that men over 40 would write like that. I would expect men over 40 to want more of a companion vs just a sexual partner.

They want both. They are looking for a companion but the other part is a sexual fantasy that they most likely never got to experience.

Don't ask me how I know.

[GayCumLord]

tried hitting up girls I've met before on dating apps.

Got told I'm too introverted and the most introverted person they've ever met
(btw these girls just sat there quietly and barely said anything too)

Autism is a death sentence guys. Girls just want guys to do all the work and they get what they want because they have options.

It's completely over for me. I need to take a face first dive off the Statue of Liberty.

dont sweat it bro ur the biggest chad in my book

[imbored21]

dont sweat it bro ur the biggest chad in my book

nohomo??


demiwhale said she'd hang out but she's 35 miles away. threw my phone against the wall. **** that bro

[xbluexhawkx]

talking to a girl that has the EXODIA of red flags, what do

she's hot

[InsanePain11]

Alright all, back from a great vacay. Kept in touch a little bit with the girl I went on a date with night before I left. We setup an early dinner date For tonight (btw I see no problem with dinner dates unless you are broke no offense, easy to talk/drink and if I’m driving to meet them I’m gonna get hungry anyways and I don’t mind covering a moderately priced dinner, but anyways I digress and that’s just IMO) But she asked politely to reschedule because of a Christmas family thing her dad setup and could only do that day..sounded legit. She is very family oriented which I like, and am inclined to believe her.

I realize delaying dates is not a good sign, but she was very apologetic and stressed A LOT that she’s normally not like this and she’s really sorry, and suggested meeting other times, and said she really wants to meet with me etc..so I said no worries and we planned a date for Wednesday.

I’m just taking things casually and going to have a good time with her again, learn more about her etc, see if I notice red flags. If she flakes I’ll definitely pull back big time and put efforts elsewhere. I don’t think she will again though. She does check a lot of boxes I like but I’m not going to make the same mistake I’ve been making with others by acting too serious too early, or acting needy. That said, I’m driving slightly further this time and going to see if she’ll come to see me next time closer to where I live (if this 2nd date goes well). So I’ll be mindful of HER interest level before I continue to put more effort after this upcoming date. I’ll keep you posted on how things go Wednesday brahs.

[InsanePain11]

talking to a girl that has the EXODIA of red flags, what do

she's hot

Date her casually. Have fun but don’t invest your feelings.

[xbluexhawkx]

Date her casually. Have fun but don’t invest your feelings.

hopefully she doesn't try to ruin my life.

[DustinTheHuss]

They want both. They are looking for a companion but the other part is a sexual fantasy that they most likely never got to experience.

Don't ask me how I know.

Lol thanks.

Yeah for a guy age 49 whom I hardly know to say, “I’m looking for anal, toys and threesomes” was kind of shocking. I just told him that we are looking for different things

The younger guys I talk to didn’t come off super sexual like that right away. Young or old, if they start talking about sex right away I disregard them.

[Ninshark]

@imbored21 thanks for posting pics bro. Any luck with the 9.5% of matches who are average? Just go for those. The hottie is fake or swiped you by accident.

I actually got 1 match today! very rare for me, and she told me she showed her friend my profile; she said I was so ugly I wouldn't even be fit to lick her feet! LOL, I'm right there with you bro.

[W.I.N.]

there's nothing else to do.
No gf = stay inside all weekend and rot
no gf = no vacations or things to look forward to
no gf = nothing to spend money on (except fake gfs)
no gf = sad and lonely
no gf = outcast to family/friends/society

It's just boring as hell not having a girl by your side.

You don't sound like you enjoy spending time with yourself, why would anyone else? Asking that to make you think, not trying to point out you're undesirable or anything.

I would reverse those lines:

stay inside all weekend and rot = no gf
no vacations or things to look forward to = no gf
nothing to spend money on (except fake gfs) = no gf
sad and lonely = no gf
outcast to family/friends/society = no gf

Go out more, spend money on yourself, take vacations, try to make some friends while you're at it then you'll sound more like someone a girl might want to date.

I read in your other post you're a person with autism, I believe that can make things more difficult, but it's not impossible, you got this! Talk about this stuff with your therapist and if you don't find them very helpful don't be afraid to look for a new one.

[xbluexhawkx]

Date her casually. Have fun but don’t invest your feelings.

99.9% sure she's borderline lol (srs)

[Eggiesinabasket]

talking to a girl that has the EXODIA of red flags, what do

she's hot

what red flags do you notice?

Spoiler!

[xbluexhawkx]

what red flags do you notice?

Spoiler!

I thank the misc everyday for educating me on cluster b women

anyways

- said she's "crazy"
- told me everyone thinks she's "too much"
- "love really hard and expect the same in return"
- traumatic childhood
- doesn't talk to family
- journaling to heal "inner child"
- sent me texts that scream abandonment issues
- texted me literally all day, screams attachment issues, it's weird for a girl to do that I literally just met
- "im not that smart and all of the guys I have been with are dumber than me" (victim complex much)

I just started talking to her today lol

like I said, the EXODIA of red flags

this is 100% bpd lol

[xbluexhawkx]

clearly I am in the lovebombing everything is amazing about this person stage and we all know what happens next lol

[DustinTheHuss]

I thank the misc everyday for educating me on cluster b women

anyways

- said she's "crazy"
- told me everyone thinks she's "too much"
- "love really hard and expect the same in return"
- traumatic childhood
- doesn't talk to family
- journaling to heal "inner child"
- sent me texts that scream abandonment issues
- texted me literally all day, screams attachment issues, it's weird for a girl to do that I literally just met
- "im not that smart and all of the guys I have been with are dumber than me" (victim complex much)

I just started talking to her today lol

like I said, the EXODIA of red flags

this is 100% bpd lol

She definitely sounds like she has BPD. I took a class with BPDs for a year, so I definitely know the signs and symptoms.

I get criticized so much on this site about my mental illness but it's not anywhere NEAR that level of instability.

BPD is really a mix of nature and nurture. She may have the genes, but then a traumatic childhood didn't help and could have lead to the disorder. I used to text all day yet Dialectical Behavioral Therapy, which I use for an eating disorder but it was designed for BPDs (yet I also have abandonment issues), helped me to reduce that to one text every day or two.

The fact that she doesn't talk to her family also is a red flag as you indicated.

Why would you tell someone that you're crazy the first day you met them?!! Even I hide my mental issues and don't bring up anything about therapy or medication until months in.

[xbluexhawkx]

She definitely sounds like she has BPD. I took a class with BPDs for a year, so I definitely know the signs and symptoms.

I get criticized so much on this site about my mental illness but it's not anywhere NEAR that level of instability.

BPD is really a mix of nature and nurture. She may have the genes, but then a traumatic childhood didn't help and could have lead to the disorder. I used to text all day yet Dialectical Behavioral Therapy, which I use for an eating disorder but it was designed for BPDs (yet I also have abandonment issues), helped me to reduce that to one text every day or two.

The fact that she doesn't talk to her family also is a red flag as you indicated.

Why would you tell someone that you're crazy the first day you met them?!! Even I hide my mental issues and don't bring up anything about therapy or medication until months in.

because they're crazy

met a crazy bpd girl back in college and she rocked my world, ever since that I got educated on it

[DustinTheHuss]

because they're crazy

met a crazy bpd girl back in college and she rocked my world, ever since that I got educated on it

Well many times they will mirror what you do and like and be great in bed, so men get sucked in.

I've used mirroring myself. It seems to work better with younger men who are not as educated as the older men. It's a technique that we learned in sales, too. People like to talk about themselves, and of course they like it when you share their interests.

[Luc1fer]

Why would you tell someone that you're crazy the first day you met them?!! Even I hide my mental issues and don't bring up anything about therapy or medication until months in.

I don’t tell women I have 30k posts on an autistic “bodybuilding” forum until at least 10 years in.

[DustinTheHuss]

I don’t tell women I have 30k posts on an autistic “bodybuilding” forum until at least 10 years in.

Lmao. Or a gay Indian bodybuilding forum.

[TonyTriangles]

Lol thanks.

Yeah for a guy age 49 whom I hardly know to say, “I’m looking for anal, toys and threesomes” was kind of shocking. I just told him that we are looking for different things

The younger guys I talk to didn’t come off super sexual like that right away. Young or old, if they start talking about sex right away I disregard them.

what if a young chad asked you said “I’m looking for anal, toys and threesomes”? would you still be looking for different things?

[W.I.N.]

what if a young chad asked you said “I’m looking for anal, toys and threesomes”? would you still be looking for different things?

So many weird questions itt, this is answered in the last line of the very post you quoted, but I guess when you're looking for confirmation to a belief you already have it's easy to overlook the obvious.

[TonyTriangles]

So many weird questions itt, this is answered in the last line of the very post you quoted, but I guess when you're looking for confirmation to a belief you already have it's easy to overlook the obvious.

young guy vs young chad. my wife is friends with a divorced chick in her 40s and she tells my wife everything; she goes on dates all the time and smashes but mostly vanilla. she goes head over heels for the young chads and they get to do whatever they want.