Overweight Disabled Vet

[MurdockOfSpade]

I guess I will start this off as generically as anyone...

I am Murdock. I currently am 34 years old and am suffering severe depression as I have basically been confined to my home after a work related incident and have gained even more weight furthering my issue with weight. I am not what most would consider obese, but I am definitely over where I should be standing at 5'10". With the whole COVID issue, this makes things worse as right before the whole quarantine thing I had started a gym membership in hopes of bettering myself. What an epic flop. Now, My wife has since had to get a job to help take care of the household since I can't work, and I just sit at home watching movies, take care of the kids, cook, and eat... a LOT.

Backstory time. When I was young I had a weight problem. I got a lot of flack for it too. I held that weight from 4th grade to the 6th until one summer I went home with a friend whos family was less fortunate than mine... and I stayed there the entire summer. I lost 50lbs in that summer. I didn't learn anything from that timeframe, except that I NEVER wanted to get overweight again. Later in life, I joined the army (in 2006) and got to peak physical condition within my time served. I would deploy twice while in service. Once to Iraq and once to Afghanistan. My body took a beating. I won't go into specifics, but I will say that IEDs do, in fact, suck. Come 2012, I was out of the army and was an 80% disabled vet. I was 190lbs at that time. By 2016 I was up to 220. Why? I became a trucker. Come mid 2019, I weighed in at 240lbs. I was overweight, suffered PTSD, had a jacked up back and neck, TBI and a strong addiction to smoking. Then, in October of 2019, three days before my wedding, I was climbing into my truck, and when I pulled myself up to the top step of the tractor, my foot slipped off the step and I came down with 240lbs of pressure onto my right foot. My knee buckled backwards and twisted. I fell under the drive tires of a bob tail that was parked beside me. He didn't see it happen. I tried to yell for him but he couldn't hear me over his Pete. He released his parking breaks and slid it in gear. I just managed to shrimp out before he took his foot off the clutch.

Needless to say, after tearing every ligament, crushing my meniscus and fracturing my tibia and femur... I haven't been too terribly active. They did a reconstructive surgery, but that was in December and now my doctor has given me a 10% permanent disability rating, capping it with a 30lb max lifting restriction and a no-kneeling order. My career is over and I don't know what to do. I saw a beautiful video on an individual who lost more weight than anyone else on this sight and though, maybe... MAYBE, someone could possibly help me... Cause even though I am not obese... I grow heavier by the day and really haven't found much motivation even by that... I feel lack of care anymore. lack of drive. Motivation. My kids, wife, dogs... I feel terrible for saying they don't give me that, but I came here with the intent of being completely honest. I can't even find enjoyment in my hobbies anymore. With that said... if even they don't give me the motivation or will to keep going, what will???

Here's hoping a group of strangers can help.

[xsquid99]

With all of the things you have in your life to motivate you (wife, kids, dogs) if they don't motivate you then I'm not sure what a bunch of strangers on the internet can do for you. But at the end of the day its not motivation you need, its discipline. Discipline will keep you going when your motivation fails you (trust me, nobody is motivated all the time). I go to the gym 5-6 days a week because I'm disciplined about it and its part of my routine, but believe me I don't always want to be there.

This post reeks of self-pity too, so pick yourself up and get your a$$ in gear and do something about it.

I recommend that you just start by reading this: https://forum.bodybuilding.com/showt...hp?t=165843261

And then this, because it all just comes down to calories in vs. calories out: https://forum.bodybuilding.com/showt...hp?t=173439001

This guy lost almost 200 lbs in a year, if he can do it so can you: https://forum.bodybuilding.com/showt...6646961&page=1

If you need specific questions answered please go to the Losing Fat and Nutrition Forums and post there, you'll get all the help and good information you need in those forums. Stay out of the MISC, unless of course you enjoy hanging out in cesspools.

[magnesium50]

Strongly agree with reply above! Self pity is your worst and biggest enemy in life. You have a family to love and life on your hands, no one else but you have to make it going, no one can put you in position of making your life better but yourself. As you stated you do not work, staying at home that only means you have so much more time on your hands to focus on your health/wellbeing. Start doing sports, try to see what kind of sport activities youd prefer, gym shouldn't be a mandatory thing. Start with the hike, go for a swim, explore the posibilities. Read books, self develop your mindset. You gotta open eyes and realise that whole world is open around you as far you get moving and reach for the goals.

Good luck!

[derekneighbors]

The community is here to help, but you have to do the work. Every journey starts with a step. Hopefully your ask for help here is the start of an amazing transformation journey for you.