Do women give a rat's ass about men's mental health and emotional well-being?

[BetaAsPhuck]

The difference in generations is odd to me...

30-40 years ago we simply didnt talk about mens feelings and mental health. Talking about your feelings was weakness and it was bullied out of you at a young age...

..and Im not so sure men talking about their feelings is a good thing. We didnt talk about our feelings and we didnt have the amount of suicides, anxiety, medication, etc.

Its almost as if a weak society of men generate problems and strong men face adversity better.

Instead - it seems - alcoholism, gambling, and domestic violence was rife, that seems to be the male coping mechanism. Get chitfaced drunk regularly, gamble, and/or beat your wife.

If any of the bad stories I've heard from boomer marriages are the general truth. I'm not saying everyone was like that, but male mental health problems were coped with differently in those times.

(Edit: I just did a web search for Boomer Alcoholism... Research confirms the alcholism/binge drinking part of what I said. The generation least likely to talk about mental health problems, have the highest rates.

https://www.salon.com/2019/08/10/bab...als-heres-why/

https://www.independent.co.uk/life-s...-a9211141.html

https://theconversation.com/baby-boo...ng-less-121659)

[DizzySmalls]

Nobody cares about grown men, it isn't just women. Be happy we haven't sent you off to die on the front lines yet and please do your part to enhance GDP

[BetaAsPhuck]

I've thought and discussed this issue with people in the past online, in hardcore red pill fashion. This are my quick thoughts OP.

1) There are - as we know - women who want/expect men to be stoic, and only rarely in their lifetime shed tears. These are women who don't question stereotypes, or 'traditional women' who actively search for men who embody the ideal of men being stoic. If you want empathy and compassion regarding emotional vulnerability or distress, it's best to avoid those women. If you want a trad women, then she will want/expect you to be a trad man, so you really can't complain when she is turned off by you not being stoic.

2) Some women are simply selfish, and want consolation and compassion, but don't want to give it. The want you to be their emotional support, but don't want to give emotional support. Again, these women are simply self-centred people. Best avoided. The traditional male of being a 'rock' benefit them, even if they themselves are traditional women. They are the kind of women who want traditional chivalry from a man, whilst behaving like a 3rd wave feminist hedonist.

3) There are women who value empathy and compassion, both giving and receiving. These women are as rare as men who value those things. They value men with high emotional intelligence. These are the kind of women who are attracted to men who are highly emotionally expressive (though that doesn't mean they are attracted to depressed or emotionally unstable men). Anyone remember that girl who bit her lip when that bodybuilding was tearing up and his voice was cracking when he was talking about his mother? That's the kind of girl who finds masculine men who are open about their feelings attractive. It will literally turn them on, not off.



Honestly OP, from what I've observed and researched women are attracted to assertiveness. Men who 'own their space'. That can be a quiet assertiveness, or a extroverted social butterfly assertiveness.

Lacking assertiveness and wearing your heart on your sleeve is likely the combination that turns most women off. In the UK we call it 'being a drip'.

[ErnieMccracken]

My girlfriend (of 1 1/2 years) and I follow an "FLR" which means female led relationship. It's basically a lifestyle fetish thing. Without being too specific I basically have dedicated my life to making her happy in a seemingly selfless way (it's not really selfless I guess because I enjoy it myself, but that's all I get from it). She controls all the finances, we only do stuff if she wants to do it, we never do what I want, sex is only for her, I do all the chores, etc. The whole relationship is basically about double standards that benefit her and that don't benefit me, to put it simply. But that's just how our relationship is. I've struggled with it at times but I enjoy it overall.

I have a sciatica issue with my back. It's normally not a big deal but over the weekend I seriously screwed it up. It was totally agonizing and I had to go to the hospital. My girlfriend was completely unsupportive and didn't care about me at all. She told me to power through the pain but I was like rolling around in pain almost. It was clearly impossible. I called her by her first name by accident and she yelled at me for being disrespectful. I had to drive myself to the hospital because she wouldn't let me use the phone. She was just completely annoyed about the whole thing. I think she told me that she hopes I catch the virus but I wasn't sure. I was out of it as I was leaving the house. They gave me some muscle relaxers in the hospital and I'm doing better now, but I'm trying not to exert myself too much until the disk completely goes back into place.

Also, while she does sometimes treat me badly as part of the "role", she didn't seem to be doing that here. I mean she knew it was serious, and I think she just revealed exactly how she felt. I always thought that even though we had this relationship, that she did actually care about me. But because of the way our relationship was, it didn't come out much. She loved me in her own way, I thought. But these last days, I realized that she actually just views me as a literal servant. She doesn't care about me as a person, only as submissive partner. Even calling it a partnership doesn't make sense.

Maybe this is the wrong place to post this but I wanted to get a vanilla perspective with people that have normal, healthy relationships. Am I overthinking this? Do you think I might be able to make the relationship work long-term? And if you have dabbled in d/s stuff I'd be curious to hear if any of you have had similar experiences. Thanks.

[DizzySmalls]

Maybe this is the wrong place to post this but I wanted to get a vanilla perspective with people that have normal, healthy relationships. Am I overthinking this? Do you think I might be able to make the relationship work long-term? And if you have dabbled in d/s stuff I'd be curious to hear if any of you have had similar experiences. Thanks.

I refuse to believe that this chit isn't just male fantasy. This isn't what women want, it's what weak men want. Women would rather just not even associate with men like this, rather than having them as servants

[Tdriin]

Ok so here in Uk most places promote mental health and in some ways it’s good, some ways not always.

There are people who have mental health illness and talk about it to everyone yet don’t seek actual help. It makes them look like they are using it as an excuse which will not make them look good in anyone’s eyes. They’ll make everything about themselves and not do anything to help themselves. Many may use mental health sick days just because.

There are people who have mental health illness but they don’t say it to anyone who isn’t close to them and they often seek actual help. They are likeable people. They don’t want anyone’s pity and fake friendships.

If you fall into the second group, you are okay. I met a guy who was in the first group and I quickly realised what he is like and I would distance myself day by day. He still goes on about it online without actually doing anything. But I have met people in the second group who show they put effort into overcoming whatever they deal with. They either seek professional help or practice self-help like working on whatever issues they have in a good way (not using alcohol or drugs to cope). A decent girl will accept a guy who has issues but who is actively trying to better themselves. It shows that if there was a hardship that person has strength to overcome rather than give up. So have a cry and then make a plan what to do next.

[imbored21]

Ya'll acting like you gotta choose between your spouse or your kids. That's a damning mindset to have and you shouldn't even have kids in the first place if that's your mentality. This isn't a competition.

Reminds me of that creep on 90 day fiance who gets jealous when his wife tends to their newborn rather than spending more time with him. LOL

why does he have to be a creep because he feels jealousy??

[imbored21]

Yes if you are good looking

[MikeLowrrrey]

karma.

none of us are caring aout women and their mental health right now.

But it's okay. Women are primed to handle bad times better than men. Evolution. They need to be strong to take care of the kids while the men lose it, fight and die.

Karma? I don't know about that. Women have everything. Thousands upon thousands of simps. Fat acceptance. Holidays. Programs. etc. A 7/10 sloot can literally be living on the street with nothing and some rich guy will scoop her up. Good luck with that happening to you as a man LMAO

[DanielleGreen]

very few people care about one another. your parents are legit the only people that care about you..and that is if they are "NORMAL" parents. which are few and far between these days.

All of this^

[DizzySmalls]

Ok so here in Uk most places promote mental health and in some ways it’s good, some ways not always.

There are people who have mental health illness and talk about it to everyone yet don’t seek actual help. It makes them look like they are using it as an excuse which will not make them look good in anyone’s eyes. They’ll make everything about themselves and not do anything to help themselves. Many may use mental health sick days just because.

There are people who have mental health illness but they don’t say it to anyone who isn’t close to them and they often seek actual help. They are likeable people. They don’t want anyone’s pity and fake friendships.

If you fall into the second group, you are okay. I met a guy who was in the first group and I quickly realised what he is like and I would distance myself day by day. He still goes on about it online without actually doing anything. But I have met people in the second group who show they put effort into overcoming whatever they deal with. They either seek professional help or practice self-help like working on whatever issues they have in a good way (not using alcohol or drugs to cope). A decent girl will accept a guy who has issues but who is actively trying to better themselves. It shows that if there was a hardship that person has strength to overcome rather than give up. So have a cry and then make a plan what to do next.

Just lol at using self help instead of drugs and alcohol.

[ZeroPercentTip]

My girlfriend (of 1 1/2 years) and I follow an "FLR" which means female led relationship. It's basically a lifestyle fetish thing. Without being too specific I basically have dedicated my life to making her happy in a seemingly selfless way (it's not really selfless I guess because I enjoy it myself, but that's all I get from it). She controls all the finances, we only do stuff if she wants to do it, we never do what I want, sex is only for her, I do all the chores, etc. The whole relationship is basically about double standards that benefit her and that don't benefit me, to put it simply. But that's just how our relationship is. I've struggled with it at times but I enjoy it overall.

I have a sciatica issue with my back. It's normally not a big deal but over the weekend I seriously screwed it up. It was totally agonizing and I had to go to the hospital. My girlfriend was completely unsupportive and didn't care about me at all. She told me to power through the pain but I was like rolling around in pain almost. It was clearly impossible. I called her by her first name by accident and she yelled at me for being disrespectful. I had to drive myself to the hospital because she wouldn't let me use the phone. She was just completely annoyed about the whole thing. I think she told me that she hopes I catch the virus but I wasn't sure. I was out of it as I was leaving the house. They gave me some muscle relaxers in the hospital and I'm doing better now, but I'm trying not to exert myself too much until the disk completely goes back into place.

Also, while she does sometimes treat me badly as part of the "role", she didn't seem to be doing that here. I mean she knew it was serious, and I think she just revealed exactly how she felt. I always thought that even though we had this relationship, that she did actually care about me. But because of the way our relationship was, it didn't come out much. She loved me in her own way, I thought. But these last days, I realized that she actually just views me as a literal servant. She doesn't care about me as a person, only as submissive partner. Even calling it a partnership doesn't make sense.

Maybe this is the wrong place to post this but I wanted to get a vanilla perspective with people that have normal, healthy relationships. Am I overthinking this? Do you think I might be able to make the relationship work long-term? And if you have dabbled in d/s stuff I'd be curious to hear if any of you have had similar experiences. Thanks.

[mesobuild]

Perfect way to break off with a woman you don't want, but are afraid because she knows where you live etc., just become too clingily, fake cry in front of her, then you're free. Works every time.

hilarious.

Just build a network of fraternal support. best you can do.

Maybe this is the wrong place to post this but I wanted to get a vanilla perspective with people that have normal, healthy relationships. Am I overthinking this? Do you think I might be able to make the relationship work long-term? And if you have dabbled in d/s stuff I'd be curious to hear if any of you have had similar experiences. Thanks.

If you're not joking, Absolutely zero chance you can survive a relationship where you express overt submission like this in an abnormal way. You need to lead, in the traditional sense, and never break stride in front of her.

Your support will only come from your children or network. None of this alternative stuff will work for women. Do the meditative exercises at your dojo or whatever if you need other support.

This and I'm surprised it's so shocking to some of you. It's the entire reason financial experts will tell you to take care of your own future before your children's.

Likewise, do not allow anyone - family, friends or otherwise - the ability to use your money without permission. Do not let them know how much you have or where. They WILL take advantage of you at the first sign of trouble before pursuing the other options.

[nnodcvcker]

Perfect way to break off with a woman you don't want, but are afraid because she knows where you live etc., just become too clingily, fake cry in front of her, then you're free. Works every time.

Lol
Cope
I've told girls that I was suicidal ( albeit always with a smile). They still wanted to fukc or get into a relationship

[DizzySmalls]

Lol
Cope
I've told girls that I was suicidal ( albeit always with a smile). They still wanted to fukc or get into a relationship

Aren't you supposed to be a midgetcel

[ReyDelMundo]

They absolutely give zero fuks, srs.

I’ve dated some incredibly nice and kind women, but when it came down to wanting to hear any of my emotional chit, they weren’t about that life. Better to keep it inside or save it for your therapist, srs.

[ChaliHo]

like would they care for a man who just lost his job, got dumped by his girlfriend, and just wants to break down in tears

or would they consider him a weak worthless person because he wants to just let out his sadness

Nope, if you notice they only cry when a guy they left or hurt and cheated on becomes successful or famous. Womenh do not care they are selfish creatures its why they like gossiping and tell you their day but the moment you need them to listen to you they have to go or go to sleep.

[FrankGrimes29]

They absolutely give zero fuks, srs.

I’ve dated some incredibly nice and kind women, but when it came down to wanting to hear any of my emotional chit, they weren’t about that life. Better to keep it inside or save it for your therapist, srs.

This. And they expect you to sit there and listen to all their chit because in their eyes the world revolves around them. Even in the workplace.

I'll never open up to a woman irl about my struggles. Ever. They are some of the most conceited and selfish people when it comes to it. If you even mention you're unsure about life or are having a hard time pushing through in life, they're gone. They'll listen and act like they care, but then poof they're gone soon after.

They'll crumble emotionally daily and we have to put up with it, and if we go one day with having a rough mental go of it, they think we're pussies. But on instagram and twitter they'll sure play it up about how we need to talk about men's mental health and men can cry and be emotional too! It's sexy when a guy shows emotion!

Fkn lmao

[MustardTiger17]

I learned very early not to confide in people. I was at an ODP camp when I was like 13 or 14 and my roommate would almost cry to me about how he gets picked on at school. I opened up just a little to him and he made fun of me with what I told him with other kids. I was the only one in that camp from around my area when most of the kids knew each other.

In my experience women are even more emotionally manipulative so I've never opened up to any woman.

[JoocyMane13]

you've come to the wrong forum for this kind of advice

[AgentSkyhawk]

The answer if FCUK NO They don't. Don't get me wrong yo If you lose your job yo girl gonna understand or if your dog died or something...But for the latter we can argue it's because they can relate more to their dog dying cause bitches love dogs more than men. But dawg anything else, don't tell these bitches chit. Either talk to a therapist, talk to your homies, or for the miscers that are writers, write/dump all of that into a journal. Your homies aint gonna throw that chit back in your face or your therapist....But there's too many stories where fellas, even on the misc try to open to their girls about some chit and they throw that chit back at their fcuking face in the next argument.

Bitches get dry as a desert when you open up to em. When they say they want emotionally available men, They don't mean men being emotional, they mean we are AVALIABLE when they want to vent their EMOTIONS. They actually think men don't/can't cry LMAO I say fcuk em and keep em in that la la land mentality

I remember once I was going through a really rough time. I had lost my grandfather, lost a pet, and lost a friend all in the same two week span. My studies kind of dropped, I was out of it mentally, and this girl I was talking to started to notice. I was pretty much on the verge of tears most of the time and needed to take breaks just to breathe. All of these people were incredibly close to me, so it hit harder than it should have. This girl kind of called me out and was like "you're a guy, you're supposed to be able to deal with these things lol". I flipped out on her, and pretty much realized right then and there is that men who have issues are led to believe that they are "taboo" and that they shouldn't be feeling those things.

One of many examples here OP

so if I ever find a wife..the chances are that she won't be a great person?

Bro if you're thinking about marriage in these times you're on the wrong track G. Even if she's a decent person, she won't be the same person when the divorce goes down. Ask Dr. Dre. You think he imagined his wife trying to tear down his name and empire when he was saying his vows?

This. Your GF will pretend to care and actually might believe she does care, but deep down her attraction diminishes and her pussy dries up. Last thing they want is a man showing sign of being beta. The younger the worse IMO. A BF could lose a fist fight right in front of his girl and deep down she'd want to fuk the winner - unless he's really ugly.

Another example OP. There was a video of this example.She won't even help you up or open the door for you to get in yoru ride when ya'll leave, she'll just look at the dude running away, wondering if she could be dropped off where he parked so she can get piped down by him.

I remember once I was going through a really rough time. I had lost my grandfather, lost a pet, and lost a friend all in the same two week span. My studies kind of dropped, I was out of it mentally, and this girl I was talking to started to notice. I was pretty much on the verge of tears most of the time and needed to take breaks just to breathe. All of these people were incredibly close to me, so it hit harder than it should have. This girl kind of called me out and was like "you're a guy, you're supposed to be able to deal with these things lol". I flipped out on her, and pretty much realized right then and there is that men who have issues are led to believe that they are "taboo" and that they shouldn't be feeling those things.

Yet another example OP. But had the script been flip, JStrez would have been expected to be a shoulder to cry on before she get piped down by someone else who don't give a fcuk about her feelings.

Sorry about your losses bro

[Evolutionary1]

This. And they expect you to sit there and listen to all their chit because in their eyes the world revolves around them. Even in the workplace.

I'll never open up to a woman irl about my struggles. Ever. They are some of the most conceited and selfish people when it comes to it. If you even mention you're unsure about life or are having a hard time pushing through in life, they're gone. They'll listen and act like they care, but then poof they're gone soon after.

They'll crumble emotionally daily and we have to put up with it, and if we go one day with having a rough mental go of it, they think we're pussies. But on instagram and twitter they'll sure play it up about how we need to talk about men's mental health and men can cry and be emotional too! It's sexy when a guy shows emotion!

Fkn lmao

Treat them the way they treat you

[zarathu5tra]

Does anyone care about anyone these days if theres no gain in it for them?

[BetaAsPhuck]

Ok so here in Uk most places promote mental health and in some ways it’s good, some ways not always.

There are people who have mental health illness and talk about it to everyone yet don’t seek actual help. It makes them look like they are using it as an excuse which will not make them look good in anyone’s eyes. They’ll make everything about themselves and not do anything to help themselves. Many may use mental health sick days just because.

There are people who have mental health illness but they don’t say it to anyone who isn’t close to them and they often seek actual help. They are likeable people. They don’t want anyone’s pity and fake friendships.

If you fall into the second group, you are okay. I met a guy who was in the first group and I quickly realised what he is like and I would distance myself day by day. He still goes on about it online without actually doing anything. But I have met people in the second group who show they put effort into overcoming whatever they deal with. They either seek professional help or practice self-help like working on whatever issues they have in a good way (not using alcohol or drugs to cope). A decent girl will accept a guy who has issues but who is actively trying to better themselves. It shows that if there was a hardship that person has strength to overcome rather than give up. So have a cry and then make a plan what to do next.

^^^ OP please listen to this woman.

[propreffered7]

It's 100% true, never EVER cry in front of a woman or seem sad/depressed.

idk man.. im glad i learned about abundance mentality. i know it gets a little harder the more youre invested in a relationship but still

just lol @ having to bottle up that character; force yourself into some caricature in order to please your significant other.

if you happen to show vulnerability and she leaves... my fuken god she should have. why on gods green earth would you force yourself into this little box for her when there are so many women out there?

funnily enough, i think the mindset i just described is just what is needed to play the game. don't like when i cry? peace bitch, later. get the fuk out my face.. the opposite of clingy. add clinginess onto the crying and it's a recipe for disaster

now, of course, i say this when you're actually crying or something over something you should be crying about. otherwise you're just a bish. it's kinda understandable when you think about women being the emotional ones and composed of their hormones why they wouldn't be attracted to too much of it

i get the feeling some of y'all are talking talking about sadness and transitioning to sexy time [which is hard] vs. outright leaving

im pretty sure another big problem is when you creep toe around an issue trying to hide it and she knows you're lying. so now you've added lying on top of it; it could be difficult to discern the two

[DizzySmalls]

Does anyone care about anyone these days if theres no gain in it for them?

They never did bro.

[AgentSkyhawk]

You think too much.

This means NO they don't OP

Ya'll acting like you gotta choose between your spouse or your kids. That's a damning mindset to have and you shouldn't even have kids in the first place if that's your mentality. This isn't a competition.

Reminds me of that creep on 90 day fiance who gets jealous when his wife tends to their newborn rather than spending more time with him. LOL

Lol OP didn't even bring up kids, he asked do women care about men's mental health and emotional well being

This also means a no they dont' OP

[FrankGrimes29]

Treat them the way they treat you

I pretty much do. Most girls and exes from my 20s until now would joke how I am a robot emotionally.

I basically enacted stoicism irl before I even knew what it was.

[wasp9166]

Best I can tell ,no

[Hicksbrah]

Only guys care about guys feelings and even then it's not that noticeable but you can tell when you're in some run down bar the guy across you looks just slightly off and you can suspect he's drinking his misery away from being fired, his wife taking his half of his chit, his kids turning out to be drug addicts, gambling his savings away etc. etc. and your eyes briefly meet and you both know that life sucks and that it's just one long series of pain with some nice moments mixed in if you're lucky. And then you go home and reflect on the fact that you have running water and a roof over your head and that in some third world ****hole people just die in the streets from hunger or get their heads chopped off by cartels or work in diapers 20 hours a day for $1 and you realize you have it pretty good but boy the world sucks.

And the thing is your role as a man is basically to just accept it. You're gonna go down like hundreds of millions of men before you...faceless, anonymous, just one infinitely small piece in the mosaic of human history and those few good moments you had that don't seem that terribly good in the first place, are actually all there is to it, it doesn't get better than that. That's it. And the worst thing is nobody cares, only some other men whom you can have a bro-moment with might care or at least understand, but women certainly don't. And I thought of this just a week ago visiting a WW2 War Cemetery and seeing all those New Zealand kids, most younger than 25 some buried anonymously not even having a name, just dying for basically no good reason in a foreign land halfway across the globe away from their hometown, 20 years old...nobody knows who this guy was, what his passions and interests were, what he cared about...he didn't even have time to get any life experience and there's just lines and lines of these graves some with names some anonymous and that's what it all basically boils down to.