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  1. #1
    Banned sandman2019's Avatar
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    Accepting a life that was ruined by bodybuilding/nutrition obsession.

    Hey Guys, I know there is a thread on here about eating disorder support but I would like to share my story and was wondering if anyone has gone through something similar? I will try and keep it short.


    So long story short When i was 19-20, I became with obsessed with bodybuilding, looking "shredded" and being "aesthetc". I began eating huge caloric defecits combined with long fasts and extreme training (2-3 hours a day).

    I noticed that I started getting a tonne of attention from women (my goal) but my hormones and energy were completely destroyed. I barely had enough energy to study. I did this for years. It got to the point where i could barely get out of bed each day. I felt like i had been hit by a truck. I was in a constant state of depression and just this extreme low energy. Here's the funny part - the only way for me to feel good was training. It become an addiction. I had to go to the gym and train so hard for so long so i could feel good. I'm not sure of the exact reasoning behind this but i think maybe my serotonin/dopamine was so low i had to train mega hard to gene ate those feelings again. The only time i ever felt good was in the moment of training hard. I also had super anxiety as well.


    I wasted my time at university, I got fired from 4 jobs... i didn't date or do anything with my life for years. During this time i managed to get a girlfriend and dated her for 6-7 months. Fell in love. But even when i was with her i was in a constant state of depression and overtraining. I remember this time i was with her and she said "you look like you are going to cry". We broke up 1.5 years ago yet it still haunts me because she was a great girl.



    The only thing that saved my life was COVID and gyms shutting down. Once gyms shut down. I trained at home but over time i realised i started feeling better less tired and my mood increase I was also able to hold down a job.


    I look back and it really hurts realising i spent 19-25 completely wasted and ruined. Has anyone had a similar situation how did you cope with it? It even hurts when i think of my ex sometimes and the relationship we could of had, or the better jobs i culd of had if i was normal.
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  2. #2
    Registered User TheIronAsylum's Avatar
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    damn this sounds familiar
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  3. #3
    I love my power hour MrCarrot's Avatar
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    I must admit my bodybuilding endevours over the years have typically led me to eat a crap ton of food, because food + lifting = growth.

    Sorry to hear your story. But at least you can now see what was wrong and go down the path of fixing it. Besides which you're still young, there's still plenty of time for new jobs, new relationships and new starts. Between the ages of 19-25 nobody is perfect, even though they might think they are at the time.
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    team ketchup AdamWW's Avatar
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    Eating disorders and body image issues are a HUGE problem in bodybuilding/fitness, mainly due to marketing, product pushes, and of course social media doesn't help.

    My experiences in fitness and lifting were highly connected to my eating disorder, which I am only now (after living with it for over 15 years) starting to resolve.
    Last edited by AdamWW; 09-27-2020 at 09:27 AM.
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    You may be surprised at how many passengers have boarded this boat.

    I know I have. Still have trouble with it from time to time. But I too found that pulling back, even against every fiber of my being, helped a lot over time mentally and physically.
    Life is constant learning. Give advice about things you know. Ask questions about things you don't.

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    Gaintaining Mrpb's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by sandman2019 View Post
    I look back and it really hurts realising i spent 19-25 completely wasted and ruined. Has anyone had a similar situation how did you cope with it? It even hurts when i think of my ex sometimes and the relationship we could of had, or the better jobs i culd of had if i was normal.
    I used to have thoughts that hurt me too. Learning how to deal with those thoughts so they no longer hurt me is probably the best thing I've ever learned.

    There's a couple of ways to go about it. One of the most well known ones (and supported by research) is CBT. You could go to a therapist that has been trained in CBT. They can help you deal with the painful thoughts you have. Alternatively you could learn CBT on your own (but this isn't for everyone).

    The thing that helped me most is something called The Work of Byron Katie. It has a lot of similarities with CBT but it's also different. It's got a bit of a spiritual veneer to it, which not everyone enjoys. For me The Work of Byron Katie changed my life and reading the book "Loving What Is" is what got it started.

    Feel free to ask questions here or through PM. Good luck.
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    Registered User EliKoehn's Avatar
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    As someone not quite out of that age range myself, I can't speak from the wisdom of hindsight, but remain convinced that this era suffers from a serious unseen poverty of purpose, to which training offers some kind of a hope of refuge, both therapeutically and as a means of social validation to quell that sense of lack.

    There is, I think, an existential wealth from of old that we are all down to the dregs on as a civilization.

    Sorry to hear about your breakup man. Don't know how serious it was, but that is a scarring and deep hurt and I wish you the best.
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