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  1. #1
    Registered User GYMPsycho's Avatar
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    Gf acted rude and disrespectful

    We've been together for about 2 years now.

    What happened was I went over to her place to have dinner one night and we were actually eating in bed. I wasn't that hungry and didn't eat all of my food and honestly I was feeling horny. So I started getting a little touchy-feely with her and take parts of her gown off, but nothing that would obstruct her eating. I was just teasing and playing with her. Then suddenly she got all mad, looked at me with crazy eyes and fuking bitched out on me asking me stuff like "Why aren't you eating?! Wtf do you wanna do, eat or fuk?! Make up your mind!" I told her I'm done eating and yea I wanna fuk, but it's all good and I'll just wait for her to finish her meal and then she bitched out again "So I have to eat under pressure now?! I hate eating like that, I don't wanna eat alone! So now I'm not going to eat, because of you!" and at this point I got both mad and honestly hurt by her rude reaction which came out of nowhere and just said "fine, I'm not touching you anymore" and just left her alone.

    That seriously ruined my mood though. It's not the fact that she wanted me to leave her alone (that's fine), but it's the WAY she bitched out at me. It was totally rude and disrespectful. I felt like some little puppy being swooshed with a newspaper for behaving badly. A few minutes later she realized her harsh reaction and tried to apologize. I said it's fine, but didn't feel like talking to her after that.

    Then after about 10 minutes she started acting crazy again throwing stuff and saying how she can't take it anymore and how I probably want to leave again. We had a similar situation where she did something wrong, apologized and then started bitching out on me for stuff I didn't do and throwing it all one me, at which point I couldn't take it anymore and told her I'm out and just left - a week later she apologized and we got back together. Anyways - my night was ruined and my head was with a banging headache from her bitch rants. I decided to wait until morning and I was going to give her another chance if she acted more affectionate and tried to apologize in a normal, respectful manner, but she didn't. Instead she started acting even more distant and tried to accuse me somehow - saying I'm acting cold to her (I fukin wonder why). So in the morning I just got up, got dressed and left.

    This is something she would do when she is in the wrong - it ALWAYS goes through these stages:
    - she does something out of order
    - apologizes
    - then attacks me again and tries to accuse me for all the wrong in the world
    - sometimes I can't take it anymore and just leave

    Right now I'm on full NC, but tbh I'm not sure how to proceed. Did I overreact or am I right for leaving? The way I see it that was disrespectful to me and I won't take that.

    The thing is I can't even imagine doing the same thing to her. Yeah I could tell her to stop playing around, but that would be in a normal, calm and respectful manner. I always treat her with respect, but I DEMAND the same, so why should I sit there and take it? Not having proper mutual respect is something I will NOT tolerate and this is what I plan on telling her when/if she contacts me again. If she does not contact me for more than a week I'll think about breaking it off.
    Last edited by GYMPsycho; 09-20-2020 at 06:06 AM.
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  2. #2
    Registered User randomuser12345's Avatar
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    she seems crazy, bruh. I guess every couple go through that **** from time to time. At least i heard enoguh crazy stories from guys in a relationship.
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  3. #3
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    Originally Posted by GYMPsycho View Post
    We've been together for about 2 years now.

    What happened was I went over to her place to have dinner one night and we were actually eating in bed. I wasn't that hungry and didn't eat all of my food and honestly I was feeling horny. So I started getting a little touchy-feely with her and take parts of her gown off, but nothing that would obstruct her eating. I was just teasing and playing with her. Then suddenly she got all mad, looked at me with crazy eyes and fuking bitched out on me asking me stuff like "Why aren't you eating?! Wtf do you wanna do, eat or fuk?! Make up your mind!" I told her I'm done eating and yea I wanna fuk, but it's all good and I'll just wait for her to finish her meal and then she bitched out again "So I have to eat under pressure now?! I hate eating like that, I don't wanna eat alone! So now I'm not going to eat, because of you!" and at this point I got both mad and honestly hurt by her rude reaction which came out of nowhere and just said "fine, I'm not touching you anymore" and just left her alone.

    That seriously ruined my mood though. It's not the fact that she wanted me to leave her alone (that's fine), but it's the WAY she bitched out at me. It was totally rude and disrespectful. I felt like some little puppy being swooshed with a newspaper for behaving badly. A few minutes later she realized her harsh reaction and tried to apologize. I said it's fine, but didn't feel like talking to her after that.

    Then after about 10 minutes she started acting crazy again throwing stuff and saying how she can't take it anymore and how I probably want to leave again. We had a similar situation where she did something wrong, apologized and then started bitching out on me for stuff I didn't do and throwing it all one me, at which point I couldn't take it anymore and told her I'm out and just left - a week later she apologized and we got back together. Anyways - my night was ruined and my head was with a banging headache from her bitch rants. I decided to wait until morning and I was going to give her another chance if she acted more affectionate and tried to apologize in a normal, respectful manner, but she didn't. Instead she started acting even more distant and tried to accuse me somehow - saying I'm acting cold to her (I fukin wonder why). So in the morning I just got up, got dressed and left.

    This is something she would do when she is in the wrong - it ALWAYS goes through these stages:
    - she does something out of order
    - apologizes
    - then attacks me again and tries to accuse me for all the wrong in the world
    - sometimes I can't take it anymore and just leave

    Right now I'm on full NC, but tbh I'm not sure how to proceed. Did I overreact or am I right for leaving? The way I see it that was disrespectful to me and I won't take that.

    The thing is I can't even imagine doing the same thing to her. Yeah I could tell her to stop playing around, but that would be in a normal, calm and respectful manner. I always treat her with respect, but I DEMAND the same, so why should I sit there and take it? Not having proper mutual respect is something I will NOT tolerate and this is what I plan on telling her when/if she contacts me again. If she does not contact me for more than a week I'll think about breaking it off.
    You did the right thing. I think you are a bit more invested in her than she is in you. Ya gotta fix that frame
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  4. #4
    Registered User skinnyfat88's Avatar
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    Obviously she needs to tone down her mood swings and stop taking things out on you.

    Talk to her about it when you two are calm and tell her it's unfair to you for her to take things out on you. If she feels a mood swing like that coming on, she needs to find a way to cool off and reset before it gets to that point.

    One more time though and you gotta peace out for good.
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    Sounds like yโ€™all have other issues going on
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    Switch girlfriend man,
    she may be nuts.
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    you wanna eat or fuk
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  9. #9
    ๐Ÿ…ณ๐Ÿ…ฐ๐Ÿ†‚ ๐Ÿ…ธ๐Ÿ†ƒ Luc1fer's Avatar
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    Do you feel like you walk on eggshells frequently with her?

    It's the frequency of this stuff that really matters. When you get a completely unwarranted reaction on a regular enough basis, and it puts you on edge.

    That's emotional instability, and lashing out (borderline traits).

    I had to end it with my LTR for reasons like this; I couldn't see myself marrying her nor could feel comfortable with her behaving that way with children.
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  10. #10
    Registered User Imnew1's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Luc1fer View Post
    Do you feel like you walk on eggshells frequently with her?

    It's the frequency of this stuff that really matters. When you get a completely unwarranted reaction on a regular enough basis, and it puts you on edge.

    That's emotional instability, and lashing out (borderline traits).

    I had to end it with my LTR for reasons like this; I couldn't see myself marrying her nor could feel comfortable with her behaving that way with children.
    Yeah this reminds me of my ex of 2 years. I was always walking on egg shells after breaking up with her bc I knew she wanted marriage and kids and was rushing everything and then decided I should give it more time. She took me breaking up but apologizing and wanting to make it work the next week to suddenly do whatever the hell she pleased and acting as disrespectful as she wanted. I dealt with years of passive aggressive, borderline stuff from her and her breaking up with me, crawling back, then breaking up again anytime she got mad or disappointed that I didnโ€™t get my own place or move in with her. Shallow, disrespectful, crazy chick. Nobody needs to go through life walking on egg shells over another person.

    OP your gf sounds passive aggressive too. All she had to do was tell you to let her eat her food or make a โ€œnot nowโ€ type of moan or something. She didnโ€™t have to throw a fit or cause drama. You should also probably just let her eat vs trying to fk her at that moment but hey no big deal. Itโ€™s even worse when they try to act like nothing just happened and then get pissed at you all over again bc you still remember that it just happened and arenโ€™t in a great mood as a result of their disrespect.

    These type of women need to know that youโ€™ll leave them and never look back if they do it again. They flip and instantly become passive and sorry at that point. Donโ€™t take them back if they disrespect you ever. Girls with this personality problem just use it as a license to continue doing it. It doesnโ€™t matter how nice you are back, or how much you want to make the relationship work, they just view it as theyโ€™ve been trained to be disrespectful and get away with it and that becomes their new level of respect for you. And youโ€™re left walking on egg shells as a result.
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  11. #11
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    Originally Posted by Imnew1 View Post
    These type of women need to know that youโ€™ll leave them and never look back if they do it again. They flip and instantly become passive and sorry at that point. Donโ€™t take them back if they disrespect you ever. Girls with this personality problem just use it as a license to continue doing it. It doesnโ€™t matter how nice you are back, or how much you want to make the relationship work, they just view it as theyโ€™ve been trained to be disrespectful and get away with it and that becomes their new level of respect for you. And youโ€™re left walking on egg shells as a result.
    It's honestly tiring though, maintaining strong boundaries is critical but it's so exhausting needing to do it repeatedly, even every few weeks. Of course it's better than letting someone run you over, but at times I was so exhausted I could empathize with those men that just "gave up" and lament to their wives wishes.

    If someone rubs up against your boundaries repeatedly, bad sign and not worth it.
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    Originally Posted by Luc1fer View Post
    It's honestly tiring though, maintaining strong boundaries is critical but it's so exhausting needing to do it repeatedly, even every few weeks. Of course it's better than letting someone run you over, but at times I was so exhausted I could empathize with those men that just "gave up" and lament to their wives wishes.

    If someone rubs up against your boundaries repeatedly, bad sign and not worth it.
    Trust me I know. That's why at the first sign of disrespect that crosses your boundaries you should walk away and never look back, and never give them a chance again. Once they disrespect you over the line once and you stay with them or take them back, they view it as a license to do whatever they want and have the arrogance to think they're above you now and that you don't have a backbone to leave them, don't have other options, and you must worship the ground they walk on or whatever goes on in their minds. It's hard to walk away when you love the person, but you should before they put you through total disrespect as a lover for years, and ultimately lose all respect by the end for their own ****ty behavior and personality disorder.

    These type of women can't be saved or helped. There's nothing you can do other than encourage therapy and leave them. Something from their childhood is ingrained into them. My ex punched me in the face once, trashed my family drunk in front of her own family, and then 3 weeks later in front of total strangers, spit at me, always keeping her options open, flirting on snap chat etc. Always sorry the next day and crying ashamed of herself saying she'd go to the hospital and stuff if I didn't call her back. Her own sister told me to check her more. That's unfortunately what she knows as standing your ground is fighting and getting physical and total disrespect. Her dad beat her mom in front of her and her sister when she was like 5 and went to prison over it. Uncle is serving life for almost murdering his ex gf. Mom has been married 4x and cheated on her dad. Just a disaster environment of a family to grow up in. I got to experience all of that trauma in her and at key moments saw all of that terrible upbringing brought out on me. The only thing she knew was for me to hit her back or get physical which I just don't do. Better to get out while you can before you have a kid or marry somebody like this. Only a few years of therapy can fix these type of women. Not a decent bf from a decent background or a family that respects people.
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    "Ex Gf acted rude and disrespectful"

    Fixed it for you OP
    -The world needs more givers and less takers. The nature of mankind is selfishness, not enough know of selflessness.

    -A poor man will do terrible things for money, a rich man will do even worse things to keep it.

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    she sounds like a crazy b*tch. yet all girls i've known pull sh*t like this.
    call her out for being a crazy sloot, bang once more and nc

    edit: also she had you in a double bind with the eating thing
    she wanted you to let her eat (or at least passive aggressively implied as such) and when you did just that, she berated you for pressuring her to eat quickly

    you couldn't win in that situation. as the person below said, if this is common it's emotional abuse. NC the stupid bish
    Last edited by smashedurgfx10; 09-21-2020 at 07:45 AM.
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    icewill36 is a jewel in the rough. (+500) icewill36 is a jewel in the rough. (+500) icewill36 is a jewel in the rough. (+500) icewill36 is a jewel in the rough. (+500) icewill36 is a jewel in the rough. (+500) icewill36 is a jewel in the rough. (+500) icewill36 is a jewel in the rough. (+500) icewill36 is a jewel in the rough. (+500) icewill36 is a jewel in the rough. (+500) icewill36 is a jewel in the rough. (+500) icewill36 is a jewel in the rough. (+500)
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    Shes cheating
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  19. #19
    Registered User SteadyFlexOnU's Avatar
    Join Date: Mar 2020
    Age: 50
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    SteadyFlexOnU is just really nice. (+1000) SteadyFlexOnU is just really nice. (+1000) SteadyFlexOnU is just really nice. (+1000) SteadyFlexOnU is just really nice. (+1000) SteadyFlexOnU is just really nice. (+1000) SteadyFlexOnU is just really nice. (+1000) SteadyFlexOnU is just really nice. (+1000) SteadyFlexOnU is just really nice. (+1000) SteadyFlexOnU is just really nice. (+1000) SteadyFlexOnU is just really nice. (+1000) SteadyFlexOnU is just really nice. (+1000)
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    U call urself gym fk psycho then wonder why ur sloot acts like that? Im guessing u act like a moody emo bitch and think urself as the joker or some sht and u allow disrespect. Work on yourself and avoid toxic relationships and situations my guy
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  20. #20
    Registered User DrumsNotDead's Avatar
    Join Date: Jun 2019
    Age: 50
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    DrumsNotDead is a splendid one to behold. (+10000) DrumsNotDead is a splendid one to behold. (+10000) DrumsNotDead is a splendid one to behold. (+10000) DrumsNotDead is a splendid one to behold. (+10000) DrumsNotDead is a splendid one to behold. (+10000) DrumsNotDead is a splendid one to behold. (+10000) DrumsNotDead is a splendid one to behold. (+10000) DrumsNotDead is a splendid one to behold. (+10000) DrumsNotDead is a splendid one to behold. (+10000) DrumsNotDead is a splendid one to behold. (+10000) DrumsNotDead is a splendid one to behold. (+10000)
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