Girlfriend suddenly broke up with me today (LONG)

[Mercworx]

"ok ________ thanks for letting me know. I enjoyed our time together, take care"



The ONLY response. Then NC and move on.

-The biggest thing... We started dating pretty much immediately after her last relationship, which was a 2-3 year relationship
-She's on lexapro (don't know for how long, but probably since before we met)
-She had a kidney infection the past week and stopped taking her birth control last Wednesday, then just got back on it yesterday or something

Or it could be that she just doesnt like you that much like she clearly stated.

[FrankGrimes29]

She made the right choice OP.

Your comments in this thread make it clear that you were freaking her the fuk out so she bailed. You've only been together for 4 months man. My last ex we didn't even have sex until 3 months in (legit conservative good girl), then called each other bf/gf, and didn't say I love you until maybe 7 months in. Then we lasted for 3 years.

4 months is borderline actual relationship. She was definitely feeling you because you were new and were enthusiastic about being with her, but then I guarantee she felt your feelings moving way faster than hers and being more intense then hers, and she's noped the fuk out because she isn't ready for heavy feelings again yet.

You proved in this thread you're too overbearing with this chit. Then you had the audacity to send a text talking about her anti-depressants like that's the reason why she broke up with you.

Wtf dude. Chill out. You have to realize the problem here isn't her. This is on you. She didn't just leave for no good reason or because of pills, she left because of you. Move on. Take this L and learn from it. Become a better man and a more stoic steadfast man. Stop being so emotionally invested in 4 months.

[Luc1fer]

She made the right choice OP.

Your comments in this thread make it clear that you were freaking her the fuk out so she bailed. You've only been together for 4 months man. My last ex we didn't even have sex until 3 months in (legit conservative good girl), then called each other bf/gf, and didn't say I love you until maybe 7 months in. Then we lasted for 3 years.

4 months is borderline actual relationship. She was definitely feeling you because you were new and were enthusiastic about being with her, but then I guarantee she felt your feelings moving way faster than hers and being more intense then hers, and she's noped the fuk out because she isn't ready for heavy feelings again yet.

You proved in this thread you're too overbearing with this chit. Then you had the audacity to send a text talking about her anti-depressants like that's the reason why she broke up with you.

Wtf dude. Chill out. You have to realize the problem here isn't her. This is on you. She didn't just leave for no good reason or because of pills, she left because of you. Move on. Take this L and learn from it. Become a better man and a more stoic steadfast man. Stop being so emotionally invested in 4 months.

OP FWIW, I get a similar impression. You seem wayyyyy too invested in this girl after 4 months. You're acting like it was 4 years.

I know you claim she felt the same way, but clearly not. Don't be too clingy, even if it seems like the girl is receptive. It's a huge turn off for women (even though they claim otherwise).

And yes, she's also a fake ass bitch for acting like everything was amazing.

[smashedurgfx10]

She made the right choice OP.

Your comments in this thread make it clear that you were freaking her the fuk out so she bailed. You've only been together for 4 months man. My last ex we didn't even have sex until 3 months in (legit conservative good girl), then called each other bf/gf, and didn't say I love you until maybe 7 months in. Then we lasted for 3 years.

4 months is borderline actual relationship. She was definitely feeling you because you were new and were enthusiastic about being with her, but then I guarantee she felt your feelings moving way faster than hers and being more intense then hers, and she's noped the fuk out because she isn't ready for heavy feelings again yet.

You proved in this thread you're too overbearing with this chit. Then you had the audacity to send a text talking about her anti-depressants like that's the reason why she broke up with you.

Wtf dude. Chill out. You have to realize the problem here isn't her. This is on you. She didn't just leave for no good reason or because of pills, she left because of you. Move on. Take this L and learn from it. Become a better man and a more stoic steadfast man. Stop being so emotionally invested in 4 months.

whilst this may be true, the point still stands that she wouldn't have left OP if there wasn't another guy she was into and had on the backburner ready to go

girls don't leave without another option. they'd rather have a overbearing ******* than no one.

[FrankGrimes29]

whilst this may be true, the point still stands that she wouldn't have left OP if there wasn't another guy she was into and had on the backburner ready to go

girls don't leave without another option. they'd rather have a overbearing ******* than no one.

False. Even though a lot of girls do, if things are looking rough, they will nope the fuk out. Actually most females I know that are single around my age do this rather than hold on. They do find someone quickly though.

[Pterodactyl314]

I remember receiving my first midnight novel. It’ll be ok. Srs

4 months down the f*cking drain. We were texting today and she randomly sent me this:

"Hey.

I have been thinking a lot about us lately

Ignore everything after this. It’s irrelevant and a waste of energy to analyze, she has made her decision.

I called her after I got this and we talked for a few minutes. She essentially said that she liked me, felt we had chemistry, and blah blah blah, but she was waiting for feelings to come and they never did. She also said she feels "heartless" or like she doesn't have emotions right now.

Calling for closure is fine. I guess if you’re looking for the reason that’s fine too but it won’t change anything, maybe help you identify your mistakes but that’s something you should be able to identify on your own.

A few other things to note:

-The biggest thing... We started dating pretty much immediately after her last relationship, which was a 2-3 year relationship

Risky, but relationships will always be a gamble. Girls can jump ship fast as you have just experienced.

-She's on lexapro (don't know for how long, but probably since before we met)

Red flag

Per the usual post-breakup I feel absolutely horrendous. This totally took me by surprise. I'm shocked, hurting to a point I can't even describe, and I feel like everything I was looking forward to in the near future has totally crumbled. I'm trying not to think about the good times we had, but I can't help it, and whenever I do it breaks me even further. We were supposed to hangout tomorrow, we were going to take a trip to the beach in two weeks (which I made reservations for), and she told me she would be there for me/with me when I moved (moving to a new place in the same area next month). All gone. All of it plus 4 months of time, memories, and me falling in love with her.

It’s completely normal to feel this way. I’ve felt the bolded before. If you make a girl your world, when you break up, you've lost the entire world. They’re only a partner, you should be able to operate as usual with or without them. You now have a new future ahead of you. Build it as you’d like. You will emotionally recover but it will take time. To help speed that process up start a new or old hobby and spend time with friends. Stay busy. Do not communicate with your ex and do not view her social media or else you will be taking steps backwards. Do not make another thread on this girl. The first one is fine but it’s time to move on.

I sent her this text after:

"Hey I just wanted to say a few things that are on my mind because you said you feel heartless or like you don't have emotions right now. You told me that you're on anti-depressants. They can be great, but they also numb your emotions and make you think/feel differently than you otherwise would. Also, you said you stopped taking your birth control last week. I'm sure you already know this, but birth control messes with your hormones and starting/stopping can change the way you feel. On top of those factors, you just had a traumatic experience with that stalker guy and having this kidney infection. And lastly, I honestly don't think you gave "us" enough time. 3 months isn't even long enough to get over your ex of 2-3 years, let alone catch feelings for someone else. If you would have given us longer you might have caught feelings like I did. I'm not trying to change your mind and I respect your decision even though it crushes me, but I just wanted to make you aware of these things if you aren't already, because they may be influencing your feelings."

This sounds like a logical Hail Mary. There’s nothing left to say after the phone call.

It was from a 98% rational perspective. I really am not sure if it's a good thing she's breaking it off now, or if there was a chance she'd have eventually gotten feelings in the future if we kept seeing each other.

Better now than 3 years deep. If she’s not feeling whatever she’s supposed to be feeling, it’s not going to magically appear and if it did would you want to really deal with those emotional fluctuations?

It's all even more confusing, because a few weeks ago I sat down with her and told her if she needed/want space, or to see other people, or just to break it off or whatever--she could, and that she should do it right away. But she didn't want to. Then a few weeks later she does this.

Sounds like she took your advice.

The best way I can sum up how I'm feeling is... Hopeless. Completely hopeless. I don't even know what to do or where to go now.

There’s always hope. Now go workout.

[smashedurgfx10]

False. Even though a lot of girls do, if things are looking rough, they will nope the fuk out. Actually most females I know that are single around my age do this rather than hold on. They do find someone quickly though.

if you agree that most females harbour orbiters and plan B's (which I don't even need your agreement for, it's just fact)

then what i said makes total sense and is undeniable.

you think you've seen girls 'nope out' and then find guys very shortly after - what you don't realise is that they were grooming guys to be their replacement boyfriend 1 months before they left.

maybe this has happened to you so it sucks to hear. truth hurts buddy mcBoyo

[Bonesbrahh]

No sh!t to her leaving because of me... She left because I wanted a relationship and she didn't/wasn't ready (although it taking her 4 months and agreeing to be exclusive with me as well as all the other relationshippy sh!t we did is pure f*cking evil whether she did it deliberately or not. It only takes 3-5 dates and definitely no longer than a month to determine if you see a future with someone, and if you don't why the f*ck would you agree to be exclusive with them?). She wasn't even a month out of her 2-3 year relationship when we first started seeing each other (might not have even been 2 weeks out). She didn't want something serious, and I didn't think I did either, then she grew on me and my feelings changed and I wanted more. An extremely rare occurrence for me considering I've only had true feelings for one other girl, and heavy infatuation (but not true feelings) with only 2 other girls, in over a decade of dating. That's why there was a difference in investment--because she CAN'T have those feelings she "was waiting for" for anyone until she gets over her ex. She is literally not able to. Where as I've been single and casually dating for-f*cking-ever and at 30 was ready for and wanted those feelings. I've probably f*cked over 100 girls at this point, but I was ready to be in a relationship and feel that "love" with someone I legitimately liked. The only way this would have "worked" ("worked" as in her not ending it) was if I didn't care/had no emotional chemistry with her and we just continued hooking up without any investment or exclusivity. But if that was the case it wouldn't even have lasted 4 months because I would have gotten bored like I usually do. Or she would have eventually found another guy to act as her placeholder BF like I was in this topic and we would've stopped hooking up.

There was literally no scenario where her and I ended up in a long-term relationship and living happily ever after--she is too emotionally unavailable and this was doomed from the start. I beat out the other guys she went on dates with, and we were legitimately perfect for each other in almost every single way (aside from her red flags). It's f*cking devastating that timing f*cked everything up. I hate to say "woe is me", but god damn WOE IS F*CKING ME. I am almost 100% sure that any other girl who is NORMAL and NOT f*cked up emotionally would have shared the same feelings and been in love with me. Of course I have to fall for one of the f*cked up ones.

It's been 19 days and my depression from this is still at an all time high. Anxiety is better, but the sadness/depression is not. There is barely a second in any day that I'm not thinking about this and her. I have never felt this emotionally low in my entire life, and at some point every day I have broken down and cried. Srs. 19 days STRAIGHT. I'm tempted to try lexapro for for 2-3 months, because if it's able to numb this girl's emotions, maybe it can do the same to mine until I move on.

By the way, 3 months and not having sex? That's just ridiculous. By those standard, my 4 month relationship with this girl is equal to a 12+ month relationship considering how intense and fast it was and how often we saw each other.

Another note: Everyone I've talked to who's been on lexapro says it numbs you/levels you out. You don't get the low-lows, but you don't get the high-highs either. You're essentially numb.

[Kev1972]

I know it's tough man. I'm going through the same thing with a girl about the same time frame. I was ready to knock her up after 5 months dating. Was raw dogging every night. She was telling me I was the one and we were getting married and everything. Then she pulled the rug out from under me.

So I hopped in bed with a few other women. I've got plenty of exes and ex-fwb and am dating a new girl I'm even more comfortable with.

Fuk these hoes. Outside of their gash they have little to offer anyway. There's a new one right around the corner every time.

It sucks when you let yourself fall in love and get burned but it is what it is. I gave it my all and have no regrets.

[JStrez]

She also said she feels "heartless" or like she doesn't have emotions right now.

That right there is a big enough red flag to drop her right there. But you might be the 1 out of 10 guy who has actually had a woman tell them straight up that you aren't compatible, and that it's not going to work. In all of your incessant rambling, you talked about how YOU were upset, YOU were crying, YOU were this, no real mention of how she was doing. Maybe you fell in love to fast, maybe you didn't pay more attention, but its obvious that you fell harder than her and now you're mad at her for not loving you back the same way. Maybe you're a FA virgin who doesn't know how to read the situation and are just overreacting. OR maybe you actually though that you guys were both good for each other.

OP I have been here in this like exact scenario, except it was for a year and it was a semi-long distance relationship. She didn't tell me that we weren't compatible, and kind of strung me along. At least your's told you straight up from the get-go. Take your blessing and leave.

[Bonesbrahh]

I know it's tough man. I'm going through the same thing with a girl about the same time frame. I was ready to knock her up after 5 months dating. Was raw dogging every night. She was telling me I was the one and we were getting married and everything. Then she pulled the rug out from under me.

So I hopped in bed with a few other women. I've got plenty of exes and ex-fwb and am dating a new girl I'm even more comfortable with.

Fuk these hoes. Outside of their gash they have little to offer anyway. There's a new one right around the corner every time.

It sucks when you let yourself fall in love and get burned but it is what it is. I gave it my all and have no regrets.

I've hooked up with a couple other girls since the breakup and am talking to others, but it doesn't help much. Well, it hasn't helped me at least.

She also said she feels "heartless" or like she doesn't have emotions right now.

That right there is a big enough red flag to drop her right there. But you might be the 1 out of 10 guy who has actually had a woman tell them straight up that you aren't compatible, and that it's not going to work. In all of your incessant rambling, you talked about how YOU were upset, YOU were crying, YOU were this, no real mention of how she was doing. Maybe you fell in love to fast, maybe you didn't pay more attention, but its obvious that you fell harder than her and now you're mad at her for not loving you back the same way. Maybe you're a FA virgin who doesn't know how to read the situation and are just overreacting. OR maybe you actually though that you guys were both good for each other.

OP I have been here in this like exact scenario, except it was for a year and it was a semi-long distance relationship. She didn't tell me that we weren't compatible, and kind of strung me along. At least your's told you straight up from the get-go. Take your blessing and leave.

You consider leading me on for 4 months and into falling in love then crushing me "from the get-go"? No, telling me within 3-5 dates/a month of dating MAX would've been "from the get-go". She led me to believe we had an amazing future together, then out of nowhere tells me she's "unsure". It's insane.

Meeting my parents, agreeing to come to my cousins wedding with me before it was canceled (where she would have met one whole side of the family), agreeing to take a trip to the beach together for a few days (dumped before it happened), telling her family/friends about me, introducing me to her best girlfriends, working out together every tuesday (most of the time at my DAD'S house because he has a home gym but also a few times at the actual gym), hanging out 2-4 times a week, sleeping over 1-2 times a week, all the passionate sex & cuddling we had 99.5% of the times we hung out, immediately wanting to see me when she was freaked out because she had an encounter with this dude who was stalking her, which I did and consoled her as she got emotional/cried, spending the night two nights in a row (because she WANTED me to) when she was sick with a kidney infection so that I could be there for her as well as help take care of her dogs, chilling at her apartment and taking care of her dogs for half a day because she went to the hospital (related to kidney infection), her going on other dates (early on) but agreeing to be exclusive and saying part of the reason was because "everything felt natural" with us, us agreeing that we had incredible, rare chemistry that's extremely hard to find, telling each other we cared about each other, her telling me she'd be there for me during my move to my new place, her saying we were going to get really cozy during the winter months because my new place has a fireplace, her calling me her boyfriend at times and me calling her my girlfriend at times.

The whole situation makes even less sense when I write all this out because all that sh!t = LOVE. You don't do all that stuff with someone you're "unsure" about. If you're unsure about someone you don't even date them for a month, let alone agree to be exclusive with them and especially not do all that other relationshippy stuff with them. And women ESPECIALLY don't do this because they have tons of other options. Why be locked down by a guy they aren't "feeling" when it's so easy for them to find someone else?

Also, she gave me that heartless/no emotions line on the phone call after breaking up with me. The only other clue was when she said "her heart felt closed" during our sit-down a month before the breakup, and of course the red flags about her talking to her ex as friends and still wearing his clothes. Other than that, no, she like never discussed her feelings towards me or how she felt about our relationship. Just boom... Done.

[skinnyfat88]

Yeah if she was still hurtin over her ex when you met it was kinda doomed.

Lotsa guys think they need to swoop in at that time because said wont remain single for long but it's just another indicator that you're capable of putting women on a pedestal and getting too invested too quick (not to mention women who can't remain single for more than a few weeks are usually trouble to begin with).

Regardless of the woman, that situation is a huge red flag and the relationship needs to be treated as such accordingly (ie short term fun). Once in a while it still works out if they realize they weren't all that into said ex anyways but that's the exception, not the rule.

[Bonesbrahh]

Yeah if she was still hurtin over her ex when you met it was kinda doomed.

Lotsa guys think they need to swoop in at that time because said wont remain single for long but it's just another indicator that you're capable of putting women on a pedestal and getting too invested too quick (not to mention women who can't remain single for more than a few weeks are usually trouble to begin with).

Regardless of the woman, that situation is a huge red flag and the relationship needs to be treated as such accordingly (ie short term fun). Once in a while it still works out if they realize they weren't all that into said ex anyways but that's the exception, not the rule.

Don't know what to say. I can't deny it's partially on me because I knew she had just broken up with the guy. But I figured because SHE did the breaking up she wasn't hurting, and maybe even mentally distanced herself long before the breakup. I guess it was a bigger red flag than I thought when she said she still talked to him as friends and when I saw her wearing his clothes. Otherwise though, she almost never mentioned him/brought him up.

The ONLY time she mentioned she was hurting from it was during that sit-down I keep referencing... I remember now... God damnit. I remember her saying something like "just because I'm the one who broke it off doesn't mean I'm not hurting," then mentioned how he moved to another state that day. Then of course the "my heart feels closed right now" comment.

Once again, partially on me, but for f*cks sake... Why lead me on like this? Why let me fall in love with her and even lead me into it? It's crazy

[xvicknumber7x]

you sure are making a ton of assumptions.

that's love to you. it isnt to everyone. suck it up. some people are just manipulators and don't really consider the feelings of others. this is a good lesson for ya and itll benefit you in the future. never care more than the other person. sad, but true.

[Caldef]

Straight up, I don't think there's any chance of her contacting me again except to MAYBE check on me after I move in October or something. And there's no way I could keep my feelings in check

My only advantage in all this is that before we went exclusive and were still seeing other people she said we had chemistry and everything felt natural, where as with the other guys she went out with she didn't feel any connection. And I had the same experience

You guys are saying bpd, but I'm kinda still leaning towards I was the rebound guy and got f*cked over. You all could be right, but I think it's relatively normal to be emotionally unavailable after a LTR breakup, and it seems like that's what she is. If I had met her down the road I feel like things might have been different. Nonetheless I'm not any less miserable knowing this isn't my fault/essentially has nothing to do with me

OP I think your response here is very rational and mature, and I'd tend to agree with your analysis.

From what you've described I don't think she meets the criteria for BPD, I do however think a lot of people (both male and female) tend to throw labels around when they get hurt, and it's not helpful. So good on you for resisting the urge to do that.

It does suck but I think you're right, it was possibly a rebound thing and she possibly isn't over her ex.... It could also be like you said, seeing that stalker guy and switching her.medication around is messing with her head and she's starting to get anxious over nothing.

You do sound like a decent guy, and tbh I'd be 50/50 on chances of her coming back saying that she's made a big mistake in the next couple of weeks. Up to you how you want to proceed at that point.

But kudos for acting like a gentleman about it, not getting all psycho or falsely labelling her. You sound like a good guy.

[Bonesbrahh]

you sure are making a ton of assumptions.

that's love to you. it isnt to everyone. suck it up. some people are just manipulators and don't really consider the feelings of others. this is a good lesson for ya and itll benefit you in the future. never care more than the other person. sad, but true.

Love as in most people wouldn't do all that with someone if they weren't in love or didn't have strong feelings for the person.

But you're right, some people are master manipulators and don't care. I can't say this was the case with her because I don't fully believe she did this deliberately. I think she was/is so emotionally messed up between her ex, me, and all her other issues that her thoughts and feelings were probably fluctuating like crazy day-by-day. I don't even think she could answer these questions even if she wanted to. Unfortunately none of this makes it hurt any less.

[skinnyfat88]

Don't know what to say. I can't deny it's partially on me because I knew she had just broken up with the guy. But I figured because SHE did the breaking up she wasn't hurting, and maybe even mentally distanced herself long before the breakup. I guess it was a bigger red flag than I thought when she said she still talked to him as friends and when I saw her wearing his clothes. Otherwise though, she almost never mentioned him/brought him up.

The ONLY time she mentioned she was hurting from it was during that sit-down I keep referencing... I remember now... God damnit. I remember her saying something like "just because I'm the one who broke it off doesn't mean I'm not hurting," then mentioned how he moved to another state that day. Then of course the "my heart feels closed right now" comment.

Once again, partially on me, but for f*cks sake... Why lead me on like this? Why let me fall in love with her and even lead me into it? It's crazy

She did it to essentially not have to process and heal from her previous breakup because she filled her mind with the fun and attention you were providing her.

But in the end her breakup was something serious enough that she needed to get over it before beginning another relationship.

[Bonesbrahh]

OP I think your response here is very rational and mature, and I'd tend to agree with your analysis.

From what you've described I don't think she meets the criteria for BPD, I do however think a lot of people (both male and female) tend to throw labels around when they get hurt, and it's not helpful. So good on you for resisting the urge to do that.

It does suck but I think you're right, it was possibly a rebound thing and she possibly isn't over her ex.... It could also be like you said, seeing that stalker guy and switching her.medication around is messing with her head and she's starting to get anxious over nothing.

You do sound like a decent guy, and tbh I'd be 50/50 on chances of her coming back saying that she's made a big mistake in the next couple of weeks. Up to you how you want to proceed at that point.

But kudos for acting like a gentleman about it, not getting all psycho or falsely labelling her. You sound like a good guy.

I just don't think there's any reason to throw labels/insults around without absolute proof. She certainly has a LOT of emotional baggage, but I can't say for sure if a personality disorder is mixed in too. She always seemed like a good person, but I will admit that what she did--deliberately or not--was really messed up (evil even) because she could have nipped our relationship in the bud long before I fell for her and saved me all this pain and her the guilt of giving it to me. And she KNOWS what she did because she didn't even want to tell me in person because she knew I was going to be broken. Literally all she had to do was be like "Bones, I'm sorry but I don't want to lead you on.. I'm just not ready for anything even close to serious right now" when I said we should be exclusive. That's it. Then I could've made the decision to walk or stay and it would've been fully on me. This? This is 90% on her.

Her coming back to me... Ehhhh I guess anything is possible, but I think it's very doubtful. The way she dumped me just seemed cold (I'm sure you read the breakup text). It just seemed like "well, I tried, but I don't really have feelings for you and now I want to see other people." And it was a FULL break. Not like "hey I need space to figure things out--let's take a break for a while". The only way I seeing her hitting me up is A.) to check on me just in a platonic way, B.) if she gets lonely and actually misses me/what we had, C.) if she dates other guys and realizes I was better/she had a better connection with me.

[Luc1fer]

Once again, partially on me, but for f*cks sake... Why lead me on like this? Why let me fall in love with her and even lead me into it? It's crazy

BIG life lesson for you here. Don't let it jade you too much, but next time don't allow yourself to get so fcuking attached before you know someone's character.

I assume you're young and inexperienced.

[Kev1972]

It might have something to do with pair bonding too.

You obviously bonded to her rather quickly, which is all love is, a chemical reaction in your brain. Where she is probably still bonded to her ex and was not able to form the same type of bond with you. Which is why they call you the rebound guy.

[Bonesbrahh]

BIG life lesson for you here. Don't let it jade you too much, but next time don't allow yourself to get so fcuking attached before you know someone's character.

I assume you're young and inexperienced.

I'm 30 and have a lot of experience in casual dating and hooking up. Barely any in relationships and falling in love.

She did it to essentially not have to process and heal from her previous breakup because she filled her mind with the fun and attention you were providing her.

But in the end her breakup was something serious enough that she needed to get over it before beginning another relationship.

It might have something to do with pair bonding too.

You obviously bonded to her rather quickly, which is all love is, a chemical reaction in your brain. Where she is probably still bonded to her ex and was not able to form the same type of bond with you. Which is why they call you the rebound guy.

Yeeep... You're both probably right. What's gonna f*ck me up is when I DO eventually hit her up again, because I know will at some point, if she tells me she's seeing someone (as in seriously dating). It would feel like a total betrayal. Her dating and f*cking other dudes? Bothers me yeah, but honestly not THAT much because I don't expect her to be totally alone. But dating someone seriously after just telling me all that stuff during the breakup about not being over her ex, having no emotions, needing to be alone, etc.? THAT would f*ck me up

[skinnyfat88]

Yeeep... You're both probably right. What's gonna f*ck me up is when I DO eventually hit her up again, because I know will at some point, if she tells me she's seeing someone (as in seriously dating). It would feel like a total betrayal. Her dating and f*cking other dudes? Bothers me yeah, but honestly not THAT much because I don't expect her to be totally alone. But dating someone seriously after just telling me all that stuff during the breakup about not being over her ex, having no emotions, needing to be alone, etc.? THAT would f*ck me up

If she takes the time she needs to get over it and work on herself and grows up then you can chalk it up to bad timing.

If she moves onto the next guy right away then her habits are toxic and immature and it was never going to work out with you regardless.

[Luc1fer]

WTF, you’re gonna hit her up again? What am I missing

[Bonesbrahh]

WTF, you’re gonna hit her up again? What am I missing

Addiction? Obsession?

Not anytime soon anyways. Originally I was planning on doing it after a month because I thought I'd be 80% moved on. Turns out I'm not even close to that and for that "plan" to work she probably needs more time away from me anyways. Now I'm thinking about doing it after 2 months no contact.

[cannon300]

Addiction? Obsession?

Not anytime soon anyways. Originally I was planning on doing it after a month because I thought I'd be 80% moved on. Turns out I'm not even close to that and for that "plan" to work she probably needs more time away from me anyways. Now I'm thinking about doing it after 2 months no contact.

Whatever you do, don’t do this. No contact means no contact, not for a few months then caving in. All that’s going to happen is all your feelings will come flooding back and you’ll be back at square one.

[Luc1fer]

Addiction? Obsession?

Not anytime soon anyways. Originally I was planning on doing it after a month because I thought I'd be 80% moved on. Turns out I'm not even close to that and for that "plan" to work she probably needs more time away from me anyways. Now I'm thinking about doing it after 2 months no contact.

You deserve whatever pain you get if you contact her again. If you post back on here after she fuks you over emotionally again, you’ll get zero sympathy. I will personally mock you.

[skinnyfat88]

Addiction? Obsession?

Not anytime soon anyways. Originally I was planning on doing it after a month because I thought I'd be 80% moved on. Turns out I'm not even close to that and for that "plan" to work she probably needs more time away from me anyways. Now I'm thinking about doing it after 2 months no contact.

You're thinking that way because you're still in the phase where you want her back.
So the answer is yes, wait until you're more "over her" to unleash your plan.

But in reality, once you are in fact more "over her," you'll have realized by that point you have no reason to ever reach back out to her.

[AlexNYC7]

She broke up with you over text, tells you flat out is selfish, and takes pills for everything. You should be celebrating that she broke it off if anything.

[WafflesBrah]

lol OP comes off as a needy insecure beta. lol @ a guy wanting exclusivity. Women are the ones that should be hinting or initiating that step or she won't respect you srs. You fell hard for in 4 months, fkn lol. She saw how clingy and pathetic you are and dipped. You did all the steps a women should be doing when she has high interest in a guy. The only thing you got going for you is you don't have to deal with a mentally fuked up chick with herpes anymore. Women are walking contradictions so in the future take anything they say during a relationship wth a grain of salt. lol @ thinking she ever cared about your clingy ass. Get out your own head, kid.

[bananastand11]

That reply was so cringeworthy.

I specifically liked you mansplaining to her the medication she herself was on.

Jesus christ.

You clearly suffocated her and she couldn't btfo fast enough.