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  1. #121
    endangered species xvicknumber7x's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Luc1fer View Post
    Look who it is, you single again?
    no actually but just in a pretty casual thing right now, not gunna marry this one but it works. but now I work from home so I get a bit bored during the day.
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  2. #122
    Registered User MuricaaBrah's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by smashedurgfx10 View Post
    Lmao you cant be serious. Unsure hes into her? So she just breaks it off?

    Women logic at its finest
    She obviously didn't read or didn't understand everything ITT.

    The reason the girl in the OP broke it off is BECAUSE she knew he was serious. She knew he wanted more with her, but she didn't want more with him. Whether she was truthful about not being over her ex (and thus not being able to "love" anyone else) or not, THAT is why she broke it off.

    I 100% believe this girl knew what she was doing the entire time and used him in an attempt to "cure" her own lonliness and pain from her previous relationship. Then when things started getting super-duper-serious, she started feeling guilty.
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  3. #123
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    UPDATE:

    So I spoke with her again and she admitted that she's been hanging out with a new dude and still talking to her ex. I actually ran into them (new guy) near the place I moved into since it is down the block from her which I planned when I met her. The guy seemed like a huge ass at first but we were having drinks and had a 1on1 with him. I basically got to know him better and since I really care about this girl I gave him my approval. He gave me a weird look when I told him but he doesnt understand the special connection that me and the girl had. When we got back to the table with Sarah she was randomly talking to another guy (this made me kind of laugh, she really is the inclusive type) and we all had a good time as they drank and I didn't, just had a spritzer. Long story short, at the end of the night we agreed that if I take her out with a +1 we can continue to be friends and see where our relationship could possibly go. I actually really appreciate her coming to her senses and realizing I am the one she should be with. I left her with a hug (I know she liked it bc she was against me the entire time) and the 2 guys and her went back somewhere for a last minute drink until they all separated. Sent a text the next morning of a flower emoji and she hearted it. Things are looking good and we have a date set up with the guy she met at the bar this Friday, gonna take them out and show her that she can take her time and I will be there for her.

    Sometimes things just workout fellas, if you need any advice on how I got to this point, let me know.
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  4. #124
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    Originally Posted by BullittEV View Post
    UPDATE:

    So I spoke with her again and she admitted that she's been hanging out with a new dude and still talking to her ex. I actually ran into them (new guy) near the place I moved into since it is down the block from her which I planned when I met her. The guy seemed like a huge ass at first but we were having drinks and had a 1on1 with him. I basically got to know him better and since I really care about this girl I gave him my approval. He gave me a weird look when I told him but he doesnt understand the special connection that me and the girl had. When we got back to the table with Sarah she was randomly talking to another guy (this made me kind of laugh, she really is the inclusive type) and we all had a good time as they drank and I didn't, just had a spritzer. Long story short, at the end of the night we agreed that if I take her out with a +1 we can continue to be friends and see where our relationship could possibly go. I actually really appreciate her coming to her senses and realizing I am the one she should be with. I left her with a hug (I know she liked it bc she was against me the entire time) and the 2 guys and her went back somewhere for a last minute drink until they all separated. Sent a text the next morning of a flower emoji and she hearted it. Things are looking good and we have a date set up with the guy she met at the bar this Friday, gonna take them out and show her that she can take her time and I will be there for her.

    Sometimes things just workout fellas, if you need any advice on how I got to this point, let me know.
    Always fun to mock someone while they're in what might be the greatest pain a human being can feel, right brah?
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  5. #125
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  6. #126
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    Not to be a dick but the simple truth is while OP felt a lot of 'chemistry' with her. She didn't feel anything. While you were falling in love with her, she never developed those feelings towards you. While you are thinking about how attractive/amazing she is and that you may never find anyone like her again, she's thinking about how she's looking for someone attractive and amazing. And it aint you.



    The fact that you consider it 'four months down the drain' is just bizarre to me. That's how women think/talk when they are getting older, are still single, want kids and they know their biological clock is ticking. Instead you should think of it as a good four months that you enjoyed. And now on to the next best thing.



    She's most likely still in love with her ex and she never felt anything for you. I'd really just move on because at this point you've just been used as an emotional tampon.
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  7. #127
    Registered User MuricaaBrah's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by guest89 View Post
    Not to be a dick but the simple truth is while OP felt a lot of 'chemistry' with her. She didn't feel anything. While you were falling in love with her, she never developed those feelings towards you. While you are thinking about how attractive/amazing she is and that you may never find anyone like her again, she's thinking about how she's looking for someone attractive and amazing. And it aint you.



    The fact that you consider it 'four months down the drain' is just bizarre to me. That's how women think/talk when they are getting older, are still single, want kids and they know their biological clock is ticking. Instead you should think of it as a good four months that you enjoyed. And now on to the next best thing.



    She's most likely still in love with her ex and she never felt anything for you. I'd really just move on because at this point you've just been used as an emotional tampon.
    Unfortunate truth.

    Also, she probably actually believes all the things she said when patronizing OP in that breakup text about him being attractive, funny, good in bed, blah blah, but just didn't get those crazy love feels that she felt in her previous relationship. Thing is, like you said, she's still in love with her ex and probably can't get those feels from anyone anyways and nothing OP did/didn't do would have changed that.

    OP one thing you DON'T want to do is blame this on yourself. This was NOT your fault. Thinking it was your fault in some way or thinking it would have been different if you had done this or not done that will destroy you. This is on her. This girl has issues she needs to work out on her own and dating is not going to help her.

    Honestly, for the sake of the next guy(s) she dates, I hope to God that text about her needing to be alone is the truth and she actually takes some time to heal. Otherwise there's going to be more dudes in OP's position because of her.
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  8. #128
    ๐Ÿ…ณ๐Ÿ…ฐ๐Ÿ†‚ ๐Ÿ…ธ๐Ÿ†ƒ Luc1fer's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by guest89 View Post
    Not to be a dick but the simple truth is while OP felt a lot of 'chemistry' with her. She didn't feel anything. While you were falling in love with her, she never developed those feelings towards you. While you are thinking about how attractive/amazing she is and that you may never find anyone like her again, she's thinking about how she's looking for someone attractive and amazing. And it aint you.
    Not sure that's accurate. Seems more likely she felt chemistry with him, but had longer term reservations for whatever reason.

    It is what it is, compatibility is weird.

    The fact that you consider it 'four months down the drain' is just bizarre to me. That's how women think/talk when they are getting older, are still single, want kids and they know their biological clock is ticking. Instead you should think of it as a good four months that you enjoyed. And now on to the next best thing.
    Completely agree. Perspective is important; and it isn't a waste especially if you learn something.

    She's most likely still in love with her ex and she never felt anything for you. I'd really just move on because at this point you've just been used as an emotional tampon.
    I wouldn't say she felt nothing, but it was probably more fun/chemistry that anything real.

    Yes, ex was probably top of mind the entire time. It's actually very selfish from her perspective.
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  9. #129
    Registered User MuricaaBrah's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Luc1fer View Post
    Not sure that's accurate. Seems more likely she felt chemistry with him, but had longer term reservations for whatever reason.

    It is what it is, compatibility is weird.



    Completely agree. Perspective is important; and it isn't a waste especially if you learn something.



    I wouldn't say she felt nothing, but it was probably more fun/chemistry that anything real.

    Yes, ex was probably top of mind the entire time. It's actually very selfish from her perspective.
    She probably had longer term reservations because, like you said, her ex was top of mind the entire time. Fun/chemistry should turn into more as time goes on. It's the natural progression. Did you see the red flags he posted on the last page? Two stuck out:

    She admitted to still talking to her ex "as friends".

    One night she was wearing a shirt that her ex gave her. And it wasn't just a normal shirt. It was a navy shirt with his last name on the back (he's in the navy). She also gave me a shirt to wear one night that he had made for her. It had a graphic of a spider she kept as a pet or something and she told me it was an inside joke between them.
    Dafuq? This is clearly someone who has not moved on. I mean no wonder her feelings weren't progressing like his.
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  10. #130
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    Originally Posted by BullittEV View Post
    UPDATE:

    I basically got to know him better and since I really care about this girl I gave him my approval. He gave me a weird look when I told him but he doesnt understand the special connection that me and the girl had. Long story short, at the end of the night we agreed that if I take her out with a +1 we can continue to be friends and see where our relationship could possibly go. I actually really appreciate her coming to her senses and realizing I am the one she should be with. I left her with a hug (I know she liked it bc she was against me the entire time) and the 2 guys and her went back somewhere for a last minute drink until they all separated. .
    LMAO at all the srs replies in this thread. def roll bread but funny as hell.
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  11. #131
    ๐Ÿ…ณ๐Ÿ…ฐ๐Ÿ†‚ ๐Ÿ…ธ๐Ÿ†ƒ Luc1fer's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by MuricaaBrah View Post
    Dafuq? This is clearly someone who has not moved on. I mean no wonder her feelings weren't progressing like his.
    Woah, no never saw that.

    Could be roll bread, but responses can still be useful for readers/discussion.
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  12. #132
    Registered User Bonesbrahh's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Luc1fer View Post
    Woah, no never saw that.

    Could be roll bread, but responses can still be useful for readers/discussion.
    I'm not trolling. I swear on my life that everything I've posted is real and has happened. It might seem troll as I write these things out because it makes everything seem obvious, but nothing was this obvious in real life as it actually happened. And I didn't go into this thinking I'd want a relationship with her. During the first month I just thought she was cute, fun, and a good f*ck. I was also talking to/seeing/f*cking other women during this time. After that first month it started becoming more and we started doing more couple-like things together and it spiraled away from me from there. She was at the top of my mind, and apparently her ex was at the top of hers.

    And yeah, I've been compiling a list of the red flags that I now see as I look back. I'll repost them:

    -The posting of salacious pictures/videos publicly on social media (mainly snapchat). She would randomly post pictures showing her ass in yoga pants. And the one video she posted was of her pole-dancing in short shorts with half her ass hanging out as she swung around the pole. She hasn't posted any of these in the last month after our "talk", but I'm sure it'll start again soon now that we're over. I even remember back when she was still with her ex before we met she would randomly post pictures showing her ass in tight pants. I think this shows that she may have some self-esteem issues and requires attention/validation from others to make herself feel attractive.

    -She told me she was drugged and raped in college, which prompted her to take a year off school. I have a lot of empathy for her here, but I'm sure this caused a lot of emotional trauma and baggage.

    -She told me her older sister has borderline personality disorder and might even be a sociopath, and said she has trauma and trust issues because her sister would do REALLY messed up things to her when they were younger.

    -The antidepressants and lorazepam. I have NO problem with these medications, but it does signify she has depression/anxiety issues she couldn't deal with without them, so her anxiety/depression must have been bad.

    -She admitted to still talking to her ex "as friends".

    -One night she was wearing a shirt that her ex gave her. And it wasn't just a normal shirt. It was a navy shirt with his last name on the back (he's in the navy). She also gave me a shirt to wear one night that he had made for her. It had a graphic of a spider she kept as a pet or something and she told me it was an inside joke between them.

    -The time 3 weeks ago when she canceled our friday date night because she said she had to babysit, then I saw snaps of her having a party at her place, which she didn't tell me about or invite me to. Her excuse being she DID babysit, and afterward a girlfriend wanted to hangout so they did, then other people got invited and it turned into a party, and she didn't invite me because "I don't really drink so she didn't think I would have fun". I found the excuse ridiculous, but had fallen for her at that point and was willing to move past it.

    -she told me she stripped at one point. She either said it was a very brief stint or she only did it like 1-2 times, but I didn't ask much about it and can't remember exactly what she said.

    -she wanted to be dominated and humiliated in bed. Like the usual rough sex, but also wanted me to call her a dirty/stupid little sl*t/wh0re/f*cktoy. Then as time went on she told me she wanted me to slap her in the face (lightly) during sex too. I actually didn't really think this was a red flag then because a lot of people are into crazy ****, but looking back combined with all the other stuff it probably was.
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    Originally Posted by JSom7 View Post
    Is it such a special kind of masochism? Live your own life. You tried it - it didn't work. Now you're just wasting your time on nothing. She too, but this is her own business. For you, this is also a personal question, but since you decided to share your story on the forum, then everyone who wants to tell their opinion.
    That guy was trolling...
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  14. #134
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    Originally Posted by Bonesbrahh View Post
    That guy was trolling...
    Oh ok, didnt realize it was that far off of what you would actually do.
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    Saw this posted on another forum pertain to rebound relationships. Read it OP.

    Imagine that, once upon a time, I nearly drowned while swimming in the ocean. Now, imagine I decide I'm ready to go swimming again a few months after that experience. When the water hits my toes, it's awesome! Ditto my shins, my thighs, my waist. Invigorating! Then a wave comes and, in ducking it, I'm a little freaked when my feet no longer can touch the ground. I try to ignore this, since I know ocean swimming is something I want from life, and so I go out a bit deeper. Alas, now all I'm thinking about is whether I might drown again. The experience of going deeper stirred up the past, eclipsing the present, letting me know that I wasn't as ready for a swim as I thought.

    Applying that metaphor to you and her? When she was shin-deep in this new relationship, everything was fine. Her near-drowning experienceโ€”i.e. her last relationshipโ€”was not so devouring. But when she went deeper, when she got more intimate with you it was just too much. Stirred up the past, eclipsed the present. She was still too freaked out about drowning to really swim, with you.
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  16. #136
    Registered User lukefaulky32's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Bonesbrahh View Post
    4 months down the f*cking drain. We were texting today and she randomly sent me this:

    "Hey.

    I have been thinking a lot about us lately, and where our relationship is headed. I'm feeling uncertain about our future, and I donโ€™t think that's a good sign. You're really special and you deserve to be with someone who is ready to give you that relationship youโ€™re looking for.

    We are a great match in many ways- you're attractive, funny, and we have fun together. But for whatever reason, I'm not feeling strongly enough about this, and I know at this point in my life that it is important to me to have that strong connection with someone. You deserve real feeling and enthusiasm and for whatever reason I just can't deliver that to you right now. I have been waiting for stronger feelings to come because we seemed compatible, but they just havenโ€™t.

    I don't want to be in your way and hold you back from you the life you will be living soon with someone who is ready for that, and knowing that's not me I think it is best to free you up. I really really struggled with this decision because I like you and don't want to hurt you. I didn't make it lightly but I feel sure it's the right thing. Iโ€™m really sorry about it. You have been very sweet to me over the past few months. You can call me to talk if you want to. I am writing this to you because I am very selfish and donโ€™t want to see you hurt. If you do need more closure though, I can talk on the phone. I wish you all the best."

    I called her after I got this and we talked for a few minutes. She essentially said that she liked me, felt we had chemistry, and blah blah blah, but she was waiting for feelings to come and they never did. She also said she feels "heartless" or like she doesn't have emotions right now.

    A few other things to note:

    -The biggest thing... We started dating pretty much immediately after her last relationship, which was a 2-3 year relationship
    -She's on lexapro (don't know for how long, but probably since before we met)
    -She had a kidney infection the past week and stopped taking her birth control last Wednesday, then just got back on it yesterday or something

    All bad signs, I know. BUT her and I had ridiculous chemistry in EVERY way and she was quickly becoming like a best friend as well as someone I was falling for, so I thought we were feeling the same and it would work. I was wrong. Apparently she never had real feelings for me (even though by her words she wanted them), all the while I'm legitimately falling in love with her. We had both agreed multiple times that we had crazy chemistry, which we also both agreed is extremely hard to find. She would also call me her boyfriend in text messages to friends (I know this because she'd text in front of me).

    Per the usual post-breakup I feel absolutely horrendous. This totally took me by surprise. I'm shocked, hurting to a point I can't even describe, and I feel like everything I was looking forward to in the near future has totally crumbled. I'm trying not to think about the good times we had, but I can't help it, and whenever I do it breaks me even further. We were supposed to hangout tomorrow, we were going to take a trip to the beach in two weeks (which I made reservations for), and she told me she would be there for me/with me when I moved (moving to a new place in the same area next month). All gone. All of it plus 4 months of time, memories, and me falling in love with her.

    This was one of the 2-3 girls EVER in 10-12 years of dating who I felt honest-to-god STRONG chemistry with. It hits even harder because I feel like I might never find this again. I also hate dating and was really happy to be out of that "game".

    I sent her this text after:

    "Hey I just wanted to say a few things that are on my mind because you said you feel heartless or like you don't have emotions right now. You told me that you're on anti-depressants. They can be great, but they also numb your emotions and make you think/feel differently than you otherwise would. Also, you said you stopped taking your birth control last week. I'm sure you already know this, but birth control messes with your hormones and starting/stopping can change the way you feel. On top of those factors, you just had a traumatic experience with that stalker guy and having this kidney infection. And lastly, I honestly don't think you gave "us" enough time. 3 months isn't even long enough to get over your ex of 2-3 years, let alone catch feelings for someone else. If you would have given us longer you might have caught feelings like I did. I'm not trying to change your mind and I respect your decision even though it crushes me, but I just wanted to make you aware of these things if you aren't already, because they may be influencing your feelings."

    It was from a 98% rational perspective. I really am not sure if it's a good thing she's breaking it off now, or if there was a chance she'd have eventually gotten feelings in the future if we kept seeing each other.

    It's all even more confusing, because a few weeks ago I sat down with her and told her if she needed/want space, or to see other people, or just to break it off or whatever--she could, and that she should do it right away. But she didn't want to. Then a few weeks later she does this.

    The best way I can sum up how I'm feeling is... Hopeless. Completely hopeless. I don't even know what to do or where to go now.
    sloots gonna sloot brah. take it as a lesson
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  17. #137
    Registered User Bonesbrahh's Avatar
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    I just made a bumble yesterday and saw her on it... Ugh
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  18. #138
    ๐Ÿ…ณ๐Ÿ…ฐ๐Ÿ†‚ ๐Ÿ…ธ๐Ÿ†ƒ Luc1fer's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Bonesbrahh View Post
    I just made a bumble yesterday and saw her on it... Ugh
    That stings... don't allow yourself to get so attached within 4 months next time.
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  19. #139
    Registered User Bonesbrahh's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Luc1fer View Post
    That stings... don't allow yourself to get so attached within 4 months next time.
    It did sting, but I didn't have a total breakdown because I know the kinda of person she is. Even is her last relationship and the relationship with me she was posting risque pics to her FB/SC story. She needs attention and validation pretty much constantly because she has low self-esteem. She could be dating/f*cking dudes from it, or she could just be using it for an ego boost. Or both. Honestly, I didn't expect her to go more than two weeks without at least starting to go out with other guys.

    All I hope is that when she goes out with these dudes she realizes the chemistry we had was much better, and when she f*cks these dudes I hope she realizes that the sex we had was much better and she was much more comfortable and turned on with me. I hope she ends up at least missing me a little bit.
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  20. #140
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    Originally Posted by Bonesbrahh View Post
    It did sting, but I didn't have a total breakdown because I know the kinda of person she is. Even is her last relationship and the relationship with me she was posting risque pics to her FB/SC story. She needs attention and validation pretty much constantly because she has low self-esteem. She could be dating/f*cking dudes from it, or she could just be using it for an ego boost. Or both. Honestly, I didn't expect her to go more than two weeks without at least starting to go out with other guys.

    All I hope is that when she goes out with these dudes she realizes the chemistry we had was much better, and when she f*cks these dudes I hope she realizes that the sex we had was much better and she was much more comfortable and turned on with me. I hope she ends up at least missing me a little bit.
    shut the **** up with that chemistry bull**** holy **** you autismo
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  21. #141
    Registered User LightsXout28c's Avatar
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    She just wasnโ€™t that into you op. Go NC and keep your dignity
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  22. #142
    Registered User iloveus's Avatar
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    Just send her this OP:














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  23. #143
    Registered User iloveus's Avatar
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    Last edited by iloveus; 09-18-2020 at 08:36 PM.
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  24. #144
    Registered User MuricaaBrah's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by LightsXout28c View Post
    She just wasnโ€™t that into you op. Go NC and keep your dignity
    She wasn't that into him, yet stayed with him for 4 months and was exclusive with him for a least half that?

    Nah. She's ****ed in the head and felt guilty that he was invested while she didn't want to get more serious. This chick is in a place where she needs to be single because she hasn't been single in a long ass time.

    Guarantee if op had met this chick when she wasn't on the rebound this would have gone differently. This topic probably would've never been made. I've heard so many stories from women about them meeting the perfect guy, but dumping him because they aren't ready for a relationship. It's nonsensical female BS
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  25. #145
    Registered User LightsXout28c's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by MuricaaBrah View Post
    She wasn't that into him, yet stayed with him for 4 months and was exclusive with him for a least half that?

    Nah. She's ****ed in the head and felt guilty that he was invested while she didn't want to get more serious. This chick is in a place where she needs to be single because she hasn't been single in a long ass time.

    Guarantee if op had met this chick when she wasn't on the rebound this would have gone differently. This topic probably would've never been made. I've heard so many stories from women about them meeting the perfect guy, but dumping him because they aren't ready for a relationship. It's nonsensical female BS
    I disagree. Rebound or not. If OP was a high value male in her eyes, she wouldnโ€™t take the risk of losing him to another woman. Facts. She just didnโ€™t see a future with OP. He was prob beta and not his true masculine self. OP most likely didnโ€™t make her pussy tingle like the chads do. It happens. Move on and learn from your mistakes op.
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  26. #146
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    Originally Posted by LightsXout28c View Post
    I disagree. Rebound or not. If OP was a high value male in her eyes, she wouldnโ€™t take the risk of losing him to another woman. Facts. She just didnโ€™t see a future with OP. He was prob beta and not his true masculine self. OP most likely didnโ€™t make her pussy tingle like the chads do. It happens. Move on and learn from your mistakes op.
    Did you read the whole topic? If he didn't make her puzzy tingle he wouldn't have been able to get her. Especially over all the other dudes and especially exclusivity.

    It is suspect that she dumped him when she was sick tho--a time when they weren't having sex.

    Also if she only got on bumble and not tinder, hinge or the other dating apps, it's very likely she's just looking for attention and an ego boost. I say this, because on bumble girls have to message first. so she can match with guys and not have to talk to anyone. It also probably means she didn't dump you for another guy that she already had in mind.
    Last edited by MuricaaBrah; 09-19-2020 at 09:57 AM.
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  27. #147
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    I've now seen her on bumble and hinge, and she posted a vid on her snap story of her in tight jeans and high heels looking hot and sticking out her ass, but it was from her camera roll a year ago. Not even new. She's obviously looking for attention again. She's also looked at the snaps I've posted to my story, which I didn't expect and I'm not sure why
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  28. #148
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    Originally Posted by Bonesbrahh View Post
    I've now seen her on bumble and hinge, and she posted a vid on her snap story of her in tight jeans and high heels looking hot and sticking out her ass, but it was from her camera roll a year ago. Not even new. She's obviously looking for attention again. She's also looked at the snaps I've posted to my story, which I didn't expect and I'm not sure why
    Just block her on social media if you're wasting energy "wondering" why she's watching your stories and analyzing what she posts.
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  29. #149
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    Originally Posted by Bonesbrahh View Post
    I've now seen her on bumble and hinge, and she posted a vid on her snap story of her in tight jeans and high heels looking hot and sticking out her ass, but it was from her camera roll a year ago. Not even new. She's obviously looking for attention again. She's also looked at the snaps I've posted to my story, which I didn't expect and I'm not sure why
    Fukkin stop it bro.

    Get angry. The chick used you and lied to you. The truth is what you thought was special was not at all for her, not the chemistry (stop saying that) not the sex, none of it.

    I know this because I've been in your shoes.

    Delete her from your life, repair and learn for the next one.
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  30. #150
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    Man itโ€™s been a while since I been in the misc. but same ole same ole. Guys give advice and guys donโ€™t listen. Always want to learn the hard way..
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