Girlfriend suddenly broke up with me today (LONG)

[smashedurgfx10]

thats life son

there are worse things to happen to you then having some broad break up with you trust me

Trust this guy. He's savage and old

[hockeyman1]

Bud lol at ur blaming text. Take a dayz rest before sending another one

[Bonesbrahh]

Inb4 op doesn't do this and messes it up

Youre not in the right frame of mind right now op. Either wait a couple of days before responding so you can think clearly or say what we're suggesting

Her: Yeah I shouldn't have started dating right away, I need time. I think I thought I was over my ex but honestly I don't think I was. I'm sorry James. I just need to be alone right now.

Me: I understand Sarah. I wish things could have been different, but we had a lot of fun together and I don't regret the time we shared. Take care

Her: We did. I don't either. You too 💗

That was the exchange. I have to say, I knew it was over, but it was really painful to see that final text come in and fully realize that this is the end.

You can make fun of me or whatever for the text I sent, but I felt that it was the most appropriate. Putting it in her head that we had a lot of fun, showing that I'm not resentful and immature even though I'm clearly in pain, and telling her to "take care"--meaning that this is end and I'm accepting it as the end.

[Imnew1]

Is this your first gf or the first girl you’ve ever truly loved or something? If so I understand, but otherwise this was just 4 months of your life and she clearly is a trainwreck and didn’t want you. Sounds like you lucked out big time vs losing a great love. Enjoy your freedom to do whatever you want and find better when you’re ready. There’s nobody worth crying over bc they willingly choose not to want to be in your life as a romantic partner anymore.

And please don’t respond to her if she reaches out months down the road or accept any bs attempts to at least keep your friendship.

[Luc1fer]

Her: Yeah I shouldn't have started dating right away, I need time. I think I thought I was over my ex but honestly I don't think I was. I'm sorry James. I just need to be alone right now.

Me: I understand Sarah. I wish things could have been different, but we had a lot of fun together and I don't regret the time we shared. Take care

Her: We did. I don't either. You too ������

That was the exchange. I have to say, I knew it was over, but it was really painful to see that final text come in and fully realize that this is the end.

You can make fun of me or whatever for the text I sent, but I felt that it was the most appropriate. Putting it in her head that we had a lot of fun, showing that I'm not resentful and immature even though I'm clearly in pain, and telling her to "take care"--meaning that this is end and I'm accepting it as the end.

She's lying to you and is rekindling with her ex. "I just need to be alone"... 99% of women never stay alone. She's almost certainly lying, and by saying you understand you're validating her lie.

I think you'll regret responding in a few weeks, but whatever, we all tend to feel emotional following a breakup.

[Leaf12]

I dated a BPD for 4 years.
Kinda sounds similar but not as bad as it can be.

BPD sloots will treat you like a king at first and then after they have you on a leash they will treat you like complete chit.
They are experts at getting what they want by manipulating you and once you catch on they will either jump ship or escalate their threats.

They do tend to keep ex boyfriends around if the ex wants anything to do with them which most of them don't... their exes run for their lives because the BPD has caused so many problems in their lives.

They are great at sex and give really good head. Pornstar type chit.

They put you on a constant rollercoaster ride where half the time you are good and then suddenly you are bad. Masters at manipulation.

Also if they know anything about you like where your parents live or where you work or anything like that they will use that against you when you break up.... I'm talking about breaking your parents car windows and spray painting their doors or calling your work 100 times with lies like claiming that you are a rapist.
They will also try to get preggo as a last resort if you show signs of getting fed up with them.

BPD sloots will try to come off as the victim all the time and they love to make threats to make you feel like chit.

Lastly BPD sloots will cheat on you and they justify this in their twisted minds... like if you fight with them and leave and ignore their texts they will head to the bar and fuk the first guy who shows any interest in them .

[Bonesbrahh]

She's lying to you and is rekindling with her ex. "I just need to be alone"... 99% of women never stay alone. She's almost certainly lying, and by saying you understand you're validating her lie.

I think you'll regret responding in a few weeks, but whatever, we all tend to feel emotional following a breakup.

It could be a total lie. I'll never know. It's not with her ex though. He moved hours away a month ago. By "alone" I think she means emotionally--i.e. not in or heading towards a relationship. I'm 100% sure that within a month she'll be back on dating apps and seeing and sleeping with other people, as I will too hopefully.

[Bonesbrahh]

I dated a BPD for 4 years.
Kinda sounds similar but not as bad as it can be.

BPD sloots will treat you like a king at first and then after they have you on a leash they will treat you like complete chit.
They are experts at getting what they want by manipulating you and once you catch on they will either jump ship or escalate their threats.

They do tend to keep ex boyfriends around if the ex wants anything to do with them which most of them don't... their exes run for their lives because the BPD has caused so many problems in their lives.

They are great at sex and give really good head. Pornstar type chit.

They put you on a constant rollercoaster ride where half the time you are good and then suddenly you are bad. Masters at manipulation.

Also if they know anything about you like where your parents live or where you work or anything like that they will use that against you when you break up.... I'm talking about breaking your parents car windows and spray painting their doors or calling your work 100 times with lies like claiming that you are a rapist.
They will also try to get preggo as a last resort if you show signs of getting fed up with them.

BPD sloots will try to come off as the victim all the time and they love to make threats to make you feel like chit.

Lastly BPD sloots will cheat on you and they justify this in their twisted minds... like if you fight with them and leave and ignore their texts they will head to the bar and fuk the first guy who shows any interest in them .

I forgot to mention it earlier, but I think she told me her older sister is BPD. And that's the sister who she said would do f*cked up sh!t to her and traumatized her and gave her trust issues.

[Bonesbrahh]

The misc is a gold mine for BPD stories.

If she's straight out of a relationship and everything is looking too good to be true then it probably is.

In the case of Op his girl is just straight up broken. No idea why he's even bothering with a reply. I would have blocked her arse the second she told me she was having doubts.

By broken what exactly do you mean?

[Leaf12]

Also the self harming is very real. When they are extremely scared they will cut themselves for attention.
I once had my ex running after me with a huge cutting knife up against her chest and she was trying to run into me to have it pushed into her.

Cops were called probably 100 times during the years. Eventually they stopped believing her after she bit off a part of my finger (srs)

Once I went running out the door and she came after me and jumped on the hood and gripped the wiper blades. I almost ran her over but luckily I didn't. But she was full of bruises and cuts. For some reason no cops were called that time but 2 hours later she was begging me to come back.

We rented a nice place and she got into a fight with the landlord and keyed the **** out of her car.

Also one night she called my parents like 100 times with some weird alter ego. Almost sounded like she was a demon.

And they stare in the mirror and call themselves ugly and dirty wh0res.

[SteadyFlexOnU]

She aint have a kidney infection she had a puzzy infection

[Luc1fer]

I once had my ex running after me with a huge cutting knife up against her chest and she was trying to run into me to have it pushed into her.

Cops were called probably 100 times during the years. Eventually they stopped believing her after she bit off a part of my finger (srs)

I can't believe you stayed with he after the first time, da fuk is wrong with you.

[Leaf12]

I can't believe you stayed with he after the first time, da fuk is wrong with you.

My mind was wrecked and it took a long time to heal it. They will change you as a person.

But now I can spot them from a mile away.

Also for the last while I couldn't get away from her and hide. She knew too much about me.
Cops didn't help either they are useless.

Now I have a friendly relationship with her parents and they told me some crazy stories. (Her parents HATE her)

[DBoyDaRealest]

It could be a total lie. I'll never know. It's not with her ex though. He moved hours away a month ago. By "alone" I think she means emotionally--i.e. not in or heading towards a relationship. I'm 100% sure that within a month she'll be back on dating apps and seeing and sleeping with other people, as I will too hopefully.

a month? bro she is staying with another guy TONIGHT and has been. They don't just chill single for a while.

once you get proof this happened or realize the truth, you'll have regret replying like you did.

[fishnbrah]

no matter how bad it hurt, should have responded with "k"

and gone nc

[Luc1fer]

My mind was wrecked and it took a long time to heal it. They will change you as a person.

One of my ex'es had BPD traits, so I got a taste. You have to be mentally strong; it's like a constant battle to maintain your sanity through the gaslighting etc. And constant walking on eggshells.

[anonymous211]

Lots of analysis as to why this happened. Could be anything man, but 4 months is not heavy investment. Sounds like you had a good time, it’s ok to mourn, don’t let the *******s tell you otherwise. But keep your head up high, things will be alright in a few months.

[Bonesbrahh]

a month? bro she is staying with another guy TONIGHT and has been. They don't just chill single for a while.

once you get proof this happened or realize the truth, you'll have regret replying like you did.

While anything is possible and I know you're exaggerating, she is still getting over a kidney infection. I think today or tomorrow is her last day of antibiotics. It's doubtful she's banging someone. Yet. Also before this I was seeing her multiple times per week. She'd have to have been a magician to fit another guy in between how much we were seeing each other and the sleepovers. I also got a look at her texts/snaps/******** messages and there was nothing sketchy. And she was calling me her boyfriend in messages. The signs were all good.

I mean she even wanted me to go through with buying her dog this Halloween costume on Wednesday. So she lets me buy it (from Amazon), then dumps me the next day? It's just so bizarre. That's why I said I didn't see warning signs... The costume, beach trip this month, helping me move next month, etc. We had all this future **** set up like everything is going great, then suddenly she breaks it off

[TheIronAsylum]

if youre not black youre actgually not allowed to bang girls or its racisss


if girls arent banging black guys they racciisssss

[4North1Side2]

I don't think so man. Anything's possible, but I got a peek into her ********/snapchat/text messages at one point and there was nothing sketchy. She was even referring to me as her boyfriend in the messages when she'd talk about me. Plus she's been very sick the past week and a half. And on top of that I gave her an out a few weeks ago, which she could have easily taken if there was another guy. She also didn't have to agree to exclusivity with me. She hasn't met anyone else.

Lol you are dumb. Denial is a mother ****er

[1320it]

You deserve so much better. She didn't even have the guts to break up with you in-person. She did it over text and acted like she was doing you a favour by saying you can call her. I know this isn't what you want to hear, but look at her actions vs her words. It will tell you all you need to know.

Now the hard part. Delete her off all your social media and block her. Never ever contact her again and mourn and do all the **** you need to do to move on. Keep moving forwards and push through. She clearly wasn't right for you. If you have an abundance mentality and not a scarcity mentality, you will feel a lot better.

[Luc1fer]

It could be a total lie. I'll never know. It's not with her ex though. He moved hours away a month ago. By "alone" I think she means emotionally--i.e. not in or heading towards a relationship. I'm 100% sure that within a month she'll be back on dating apps and seeing and sleeping with other people, as I will too hopefully.

I think you’re in denial right now, that’s pretty normal as you recoil emotionally.

“I think I thought I was over my ex but honestly I don't think I was.“ <— this is an excuse, sure there’s a possibility she isn’t back with him, but this is a standard bs breakup line for women. Really standard bs.

If she saw potential with you, she’d stay. Period. You can’t seriously believe she genuinely wants to be with you but is so incredibly mature, she’s stepping back to reflect and recover from her ex. Absolutely laughable theory.

[smashedurgfx10]

I think you’re in denial right now, that’s pretty normal as you recoil emotionally.

“I think I thought I was over my ex but honestly I don't think I was.“ <— this is an excuse, sure there’s a possibility she isn’t back with him, but this is a standard bs breakup line for women. Really standard bs.

If she saw potential with you, she’d stay. Period. You can’t seriously believe she genuinely wants to be with you but is so incredibly mature, she’s stepping back to reflect and recover from her ex. Absolutely laughable theory.

This.

Its gonna hurt op but don't sell yourself a lie.
Itll make it harder for you in the long run

Girls don't voluntarily jump ship and be alone.
They hate being alone. What makes you think yours was any different

[rikugunchusa]

didn't read. there was no "sudden" about this but speculating on why won't get you anywhere. NC and move on

[ChangeOfStyle]

Fake as fuk

She just wants to be a hoe and jump on the cawk carousel

You don't need any further reasoning as to this; she's trying to light the situation into something that it's not. She's not ready for a relationship but she's making bullchit excuses to convince herself that it's not a root issue

[Bonesbrahh]

I think you’re in denial right now, that’s pretty normal as you recoil emotionally.

“I think I thought I was over my ex but honestly I don't think I was.“ <— this is an excuse, sure there’s a possibility she isn’t back with him, but this is a standard bs breakup line for women. Really standard bs.

If she saw potential with you, she’d stay. Period. You can’t seriously believe she genuinely wants to be with you but is so incredibly mature, she’s stepping back to reflect and recover from her ex. Absolutely laughable theory.

This.

Its gonna hurt op but don't sell yourself a lie.
Itll make it harder for you in the long run

Girls don't voluntarily jump ship and be alone.
They hate being alone. What makes you think yours was any different

I think she has essentially no feelings for me (for whatever reason) and finds it pointless to continue our relationship--for both of us. No, I don't think she's incredibly mature and what you said has gone through my mind a lot. She also states herself in the breakup message that she's selfish and says that's why she didn't break up with me in person. I think she's framing the breakup as "it'll be better for you" but in reality it's for selfish reasons (like she wants to be single or simply doesn't feel like entertaining our relationship anymore). Like I said, I don't think she's just going to take time off dating. I think that when I get back on tinder in a week I'll probably see her on there.

Given the chemistry we had in every way, that we both agreed we had, and also agreed is extremely hard to find, it's still puzzling why she would do this though... I think that as much as she denied it when we were together, she DID need more time to be single and date other people since I was the first guy she was with. I do believe she isn't over her last relationship though. I believe that WAS a factor in this and IS a factor in her having no feelings/emotions.

One thing she said on the phone that I didn't mention is "this is even more difficult because we're incredibly sexually compatible", which I already knew. We had amazing sexual chemistry on top of the emotional chemistry. I mean maybe there is some maturity in her reasoning? Not much, but some. Why just give up on something really good with someone you're compatible and comfortable with to go back out into the dating world where you don't know wtf kind of people you'll meet? We talked earlier on and she said that before we were exclusive she met other people and even went on a few second dates but didn't feel any chemistry, and that it was different with me. She said everything felt natural. I'm sorry, it just seems so bizarre that someone, especially a female, would give all this up just so they can date random people again

[smashedurgfx10]

you're correct in that she's doing it for selfish reasons only. that's human nature unfortunately, your personal biases will always outweigh those of others. and so they should - why live your life to please other people?
that's an express ticket to unhappiness right there. as much as her dishonesty was illaudable, we can't fault the internal drive all of us have to pursue self serving agencies.

It's a shame she didn't see this with you, but as i mentioned before it honestly wasn't a great loss from what you've told us about her so far.
Sexual chemistry with girls is incredibly important - but you'll get that with other women as well. I have no idea why she'd mention that to you, or remind you seeing as you said you already knew it, after she'd told you she no longer wanted to see you.
Seems to me she just wanted to rub salt in the wound. Her character doesn't sit well with me at all man.

As men we are always tempted by good sex - that's one of our main motivators in life and women know this, especially the crazy ones - so they'll try and distract you with that facet so you're more willing to tolerate their bad/toxic behaviour.

I think a lot of your shock is coming from the fact you were so unprepared for what she said to you. As i said above, once you accept that people will lie mercilessly to fulfil their own needs, not least in romantic relationships, it'll become a lot clearer to you.
I'm not saying everything she told you was a lie, but clearly what you were told and her actions aren't matching. So a good proportion of it could have been. It seems that at the very least she was just seeing how it went until something better came along.

You were useful to her at the time. Maybe as a rebound, maybe as a backup for another option, we will never know.
We can only speculate, and that's the closest you'll get to closure with all but the most self aware and empathetic women in your life, of which this doesn't seem like one of them

[DrumsNotDead]

4 months, no pics.....cannot take seriously

[Luc1fer]

Given the chemistry we had in every way, that we both agreed we had, and also agreed is extremely hard to find, it's still puzzling why she would do this though... I think that as much as she denied it when we were together, she DID need more time to be single and date other people since I was the first guy she was with. I do believe she isn't over her last relationship though. I believe that WAS a factor in this and IS a factor in her having no feelings/emotions.

One thing she said on the phone that I didn't mention is "this is even more difficult because we're incredibly sexually compatible", which I already knew. We had amazing sexual chemistry on top of the emotional chemistry. I mean maybe there is some maturity in her reasoning? Not much, but some. Why just give up on something really good with someone you're compatible and comfortable with to go back out into the dating world where you don't know wtf kind of people you'll meet? We talked earlier on and she said that before we were exclusive she met other people and even went on a few second dates but didn't feel any chemistry, and that it was different with me. She said everything felt natural. I'm sorry, it just seems so bizarre that someone, especially a female, would give all this up just so they can date random people again

The fact this entire thing is so puzzling and caught you off guard is what you really need to focus on right now.

On some level, you have been duped by her narrative. I’m not saying the specific pieces are untrue, but she’s selling you a narrative and you’re confused because it doesn’t make sense.

You need to determine how to avoid falling for the next girl’s deception.

One pattern I’m noticing with you is ego fulfillment. You keep talking about how great everything was and how she verbally confirmed it. That’s something you should address because women like her will exploit it.

IT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE BECAUSE SHE DECEIVED YOU. Figure out how you won’t be deceived next time. Recognize your ego vulnerability, and focus on actions instead of words.

[Bonesbrahh]

The fact this entire thing is so puzzling and caught you off guard is what you really need to focus on right now.

On some level, you have been duped by her narrative. I’m not saying the specific pieces are untrue, but she’s selling you a narrative and you’re confused because it doesn’t make sense.

You need to determine how to avoid falling for the next girl’s deception.

One pattern I’m noticing with you is ego fulfillment. You keep talking about how great everything was and how she verbally confirmed it. That’s something you should address because women like her will exploit it.

IT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE BECAUSE SHE DECEIVED YOU. Figure out how you won’t be deceived next time. Recognize your ego vulnerability, and focus on actions instead of words.

Like what kind of actions? What could I have done to not be deceived?