Girlfriend suddenly broke up with me today (LONG)

[Legz422]

Want to know how much I was falling for this girl? I went into her medicine cabinet one night a while ago when I was spending the night at her place and found lexapro, lorazepam, marijuana (she smokes often), and valtrex. Yes, valtrex the herpes medication. And you know what? I didn't even care. That's how much I was falling for her

This has to be a roll bread.

If not, it was only 4 months. Be thankful she didn't waste years of your life just to do this. Sounds like you were a rebound. Suck it up and move on.

[sandman2019]

People are harsh, yea it was only 4 months, but if you meet someone and you have good chemistry you're into them sleeping with them and really want to keep seeing them it hurts

it took me 2 years to get over a 7 month relationship.

it hurts op.

go no contact . only thing you can do.

[smashedurgfx10]

This has to be a roll bread.

If not, it was only 4 months. Be thankful she didn't waste years of your life just to do this. Sounds like you were a rebound. Suck it up and move on.

4 months is a short time yes, but it can feel pretty intense if you have the right chemistry with the person and they come on really strong.
hence my earlier post basically telling him to not get so invested in the next girl that comes along

if you go into a relationship with your guard completely down, this is what happens.

[RTB1]

This has to be a roll bread.

If not, it was only 4 months. Be thankful she didn't waste years of your life just to do this. Sounds like you were a rebound. Suck it up and move on.

Disagree. OP is young (said only dating 10-12 years) and relationships can be more meaningful if you've not had a lot of experience. You're more likely to think the girl is special. He hasn't had that instant chemistry multiple times yet.

OP, a couple of points. You're clearly blinded by pain right now (understandable) so you're not thinking logically. If this girl had herpes and never told you, that's a huge red flag. I don't agree with calling her BPD but her lying to you about an STD is bullchit. Also as others have said the rebound thing is to be expected. I don't blame either of you for that but you have to know what you're getting into. As for her breaking up with you via text, I don't think that's necessarily a bad thing either. There's no good way to do it. I agree you should have either ignored or just said ok. You're not going to ever know the real reason why. You're never going to get closure from her. You have to find that within yourself.

If this was so out of the blue, why on earth did you tell her a while back she could break up with you? Something must have prompted that conversation.

I know with time you'll feel better and she won't seem so special. I'll also tell you I still think about girls who I had relationships with and it didn't work out. As time goes on, you learn to appreciate women for all their individual traits. As in, yes, this girl was special and you will never find another like her. HOWEVER, all the women you end up falling for will be special in their own ways and you'll have great memories and those times will end. 99% of relationships end with one person or the other not feeling it. All you can do is enjoy it in the moment. It's bittersweet but it's life man. You'll come out of this better for the experience, believe me.

[xvicknumber7x]

it doesnt matter what she said or did brah, stop putting so much value into the acts or words of a woman. thats just how she feels that day. if she severs the relationship ya just gotta move along.

happened to me last august after 2.5 years. said okay, grabbed my things and left. things can change at any moment and hopefully this helps you learn that lesson about everything in life. it's pretty liberating when you are always prepared for things to go off course. let this be a lesson brah.

[smashedurgfx10]

it's pretty liberating when you are always prepared for things to go off course. let this be a lesson brah.

this.
i try and do this. some people would call it pessimism. for me it's what keeps me grounded.

im not great it at but im getting better. the skill is in enjoying the moment, but not planning ahead for things which haven't happened yet. while simultaneously holding memories (good or bad) but not letting them affect your present

this is something girls are really sh*t at (no offence) which is why their emotions are all over the fkin place

[Imnew1]

People are harsh, yea it was only 4 months, but if you meet someone and you have good chemistry you're into them sleeping with them and really want to keep seeing them it hurts

it took me 2 years to get over a 7 month relationship.

it hurts op.

go no contact . only thing you can do.

Stop giving advice. You're far from over your chick as you create 10+ threads a week under this account and your Huramby alt. STFU pussy.

[kopikum]

4 months is NOTHING and she meet someone else

by the way, not every girl that breaks up with you must have BPD, you ****ing retards

[Imnew1]

Honestly it was only 4 months dude, now I know it feels terrible, because you can develop a lot of emotions for someone in a short period of time. So in the grand scheme of things it’s not that big of a deal. I’ll say this, that text message you sent her rationalizing was super unnecessary and only made things worse. Never do that, never try to explain to a girl or anyone for that matter why they might be feeling the way they do. The truth is she just wasn’t feeling you, and she straight up told you. You should respect her for that.

She did nothing wrong here, so many guys on here demonizing her. Let’s stop trying to diagnosis her with BPD when we don’t have the credentials for it.

I was talking to a girl I matched with on hinge during quarantine, we spoke starting from April 17th, until we met and spent 5 days together starting June 18th. I thought our time went well, could’ve been better on my part in some situations, but overall I thought it was a good experience. The day after she returned home she told me she’s just didn’t feel a connection between us. To me I was shocked cause we had a ton of sex and fun.

I just told her okay that’s fine, I understand her feelings; we haven’t spoken since. I felt terrible for like 2 weeks, by the 4th week I could care less. Now I wouldn’t even entertain a sexual relationship with her. Why? it was only like 2 months, not that big of a deal.

You’ll be fine man.

I agree with this. I did the same with my ex when I broke up with her 4 months into us dating. She was 30 and wanted marriage and kids. I just didn't feel it even though we were work friends for a year before dating and she was into me like crazy from the first month that she met me and flirted and pursued me for months. I really liked her as a person (or so I thought. Once I saw her true colors and how hateful and evil she could be.....whew) and knew she wanted marriage and kids so I felt like dating her was wrong, and I was just going to hurt somebody that I truly cared about. So I blindsided her and broke up with her the day she wanted to meet my mom because I thought it was all way too much way too soon, and it was clear our goals weren't aligned.

Could I have handled it better? Perhaps, but I at least called her vs texting her like a wimp, and took all of her abuse through text later that day and was just being nice to her the entire time while I let her get her hate out at me. Should have avoided getting back together with her 2-3 times over the next year and a half.

With all that said, that's a man breaking up with a girl they're just not feeling it with. Women have 20+ options at any point if they want. We usually don't. Like others said, I would almost certainly guess there's another guy she has more feelings for. Could be her ex and you can't compare to him at the moment because her feelings are still for him, or it could be another guy. Regardless, you should view yourself as the prize and that she lost out and you'll find better eventually. Who knows when it happens, but this girl will never respect you if you're bent and determined to let her know how much you love her, and that she didn't give it enough time, and think by keeping that on her mind that she'll re-evaluate you as an option down the road. Why be an option? Find a woman to whom you're the man she can't live without. Plus options doesn't equal somebody that they're always compatible with long term. She might be back, or you might never hear from her again. Who cares either way? This breakup by text bs that people do and think that they're doing a noble thing by writing a thoughtful note bs is some dumb ****. Have the decency to call the person or meet them in person.

Also, I don't know her but she sounds like total trash. Herpes meds, BPD meds, weed smoker......Ugghhh. That's not you're project to fix mane

[JungleJenetics]

Want to know how much I was falling for this girl? I went into her medicine cabinet one night a while ago when I was spending the night at her place and found lexapro, lorazepam, marijuana (she smokes often), and valtrex. Yes, valtrex the herpes medication. And you know what? I didn't even care. That's how much I was falling for her

Okay this isn't real.

[Legz422]

Okay this isn't real.

Exactly. That's why I said we toasting in a roll bread.

[Luc1fer]

She did nothing wrong here, so many guys on here demonizing her. Let’s stop trying to diagnosis her with BPD when we don’t have the credentials for it.

Thank you. People throw around BPD waaaayyyy too easily here. Anti-anxiety meds =/= BPD.

I read nothing much wrong with the messages. And your response seems fine. It's very difficult to really know what's really going on, and I think you actually know best OP. You seem reasonable. She might have rekindled with her ex, she might not have. Her drugs could be impacting her feelings.

My impression here, given the facts you presented, is that she is likely emotionally volatile though. Typical traits are high highs (the strong chemistry you felt), and low lows (the depression/anxiety, episodes and moods).

Did you experience any gaslighting, volatile anger, walking on eggshells or anything like that? I know it was only 3 months.

EDIT: I have only read the first few posts! Looks like I need to catch up.

[Bonesbrahh]

The reason I sat her down and had a talk a few weeks ago was because, in my mind, she was acting weird. She had posted a sexually charged pic and vid on her Snapchat story, then she told me she was babysitting Friday but I saw snap story videos of her having a party at her apartment which she didn't tell me about or invite me to. I confronted her in person the next day and we sat down and talked. She said contradictory things... She said she was hesitant to introduce me to friends and etc because she wasn't sure how serious I was, and that I didn't "text her like a boyfriend", but also said she felt like her "heart was closed". This is also when I gave her the "out" (I didn't want her to take it, but I did give it to her). A couple weeks later she introduced me to her friends though. Looking back now, it's like she was talking in circles and this wasn't fair to me. Anyways, after that talk we agreed to hangout later the same night. But a little later she texted me saying me confronting her freaked her out and that she needed space. I told her we should talk about it in person because she was going on vacation for a week the next day. Amazingly she agreed. I went over and we had a great night and I slept over, then saw her off the next morning. Everything seemed perfect after that--totally back to normal. Then she got this kidney infected last week and was really sick (but we still hungout and like I said I spent the night with her two nights in a row last weekend because she wanted me to), then a week later she dumps me.

Okay this isn't real.

It is. The chemistry was so strong that I felt like she was the one. I'm not even joking

[Bonesbrahh]

Thank you. People throw around BPD waaaayyyy too easily here. Anti-anxiety meds =/= BPD.

I read nothing much wrong with the messages. And your response seems fine. It's very difficult to really know what's really going on, and I think you actually know best OP. You seem reasonable. She might have rekindled with her ex, she might not have. Her drugs could be impacting her feelings.

My impression here, given the facts you presented, is that she is likely emotionally volatile though. Typical traits are high highs (the strong chemistry you felt), and low lows (the depression/anxiety, episodes and moods).

Did you experience any gaslighting, volatile anger, walking on eggshells or anything like that? I know it was only 3 months.

EDIT: I have only read the first few posts! Looks like I need to catch up.

No anger. I don't really know what gaslighting is tbh. A little bit of walking on eggshells maybe... We were watching the movie taken and I made a joke about one of the girls being a "dead slvt".
Sounds bad but we would make dark jokes all the time. After the movie she very seriously told me she didn't like that, and proceeded to tell me how she was drugged and raped in college. She shut down after that for a little bit, but we talked about it and she lightened back up.

Although she did tell me her ex would trivialize it and tell her to "get over it" when she told him about it. She also said he was texting another girl at one point in their relationship (precheating behavior), but they stayed together, and she broke up with him because they almost never had sex and he was moving far away and she didn't want to leave

[skinnyfat88]

I would say from a "playing the game correctly" perspective you messed up by sending that text about external factors (meds. traumatic experience) causing her to make this decision too quickly but w/e.

How often did you guys see each other?
Bit of a red flag she texted you this and didn't tell you in person or over the phone BUT you were only seeing each other a few months so w/e.
Were you guys big texters in general?
If yes, stop doing that. Just stop. We all have better things to do than text 100 times per day.

[DBoyDaRealest]

The reason I sat her down and had a talk a few weeks ago was because, in my mind, she was acting weird. She had posted a sexually charged pic and vid on her Snapchat story, then she told me she was babysitting Friday but I saw snap story videos of her having a party at her apartment which she didn't tell me about or invite me to. I confronted her in person the next day and we sat down and talked. She said contradictory things... She said she was hesitant to introduce me to friends and etc because she wasn't sure how serious I was, and that I didn't "text her like a boyfriend", but also said she felt like her "heart was closed". This is also when I gave her the "out" (I didn't want her to take it, but I did give it to her). A couple weeks later she introduced me to her friends though. Looking back now, it's like she was talking in circles and this wasn't fair to me. Anyways, after that talk we agreed to hangout later the same night. But a little later she texted me saying me confronting her freaked her out and that she needed space. I told her we should talk about it in person because she was going on vacation for a week the next day. Amazingly she agreed. I went over and we had a great night and I slept over, then saw her off the next morning. Everything seemed perfect after that--totally back to normal. Then she got this kidney infected last week and was really sick (but we still hungout and like I said I spent the night with her two nights in a row last weekend because she wanted me to), then a week later she dumps me.



It is. The chemistry was so strong that I felt like she was the one. I'm not even joking

Bro c'mon. She was never emotionally invested in this. Posting sexual pics, lying about where she was at? Dude were you even exclusive? She did you a HUGE favor by being real with you. Most sloots will not give you that much and will continue to let you shower them with affection and attention while looking to monkey branch. Consider yourself lucky.

[AdikinBawls]

It definitely sounds like she has issues, and on top of that, the fact that she was dating you immediately after a multi-year relationship essentially meant that you were destined to be nothing more than a rebound (regardless of whether she saw you as a rebound from the beginning, which is also certainly possible). It's rare that girls get completely serious with the first guy they date after a long-term relationship, especially girls that run 100% on emotion. This is largely because they have such a powerful emotional attachment to the last guy, and they're out looking for someone who gives them the same feels that their ex gave them. But their brains don't have the logic to understand that two guys can never be exactly the same, so they're almost always disappointed in the next guy they date (unless he's just overwhelmingly better in every way).

What mirincanadian said about her hitting up her ex again is very possible, but not 100% certain. What IS certain is that she was comparing you to her ex (and thinking back to how he made her feel), and you simply weren't pulling her the same way emotionally. It's also possible she met someone who is more comparable to her ex (or is better at playing her emotions) and she's going to give him a shot. In the end though, it doesn't really matter.

It'd been better if you simply ignored or wrote a simple "Cool. Good luck."

Also, this. Exactly how I would handle it. It's a 4-month relationship, and in this day and age, that's still within the "getting to know you" stage and you should have no expectations of anything progressing at this point. Sadly.

[AdikinBawls]

The reason I sat her down and had a talk a few weeks ago was because, in my mind, she was acting weird. She had posted a sexually charged pic and vid on her Snapchat story, then she told me she was babysitting Friday but I saw snap story videos of her having a party at her apartment which she didn't tell me about or invite me to. I confronted her in person the next day and we sat down and talked. She said contradictory things... She said she was hesitant to introduce me to friends and etc because she wasn't sure how serious I was, and that I didn't "text her like a boyfriend", but also said she felt like her "heart was closed". This is also when I gave her the "out" (I didn't want her to take it, but I did give it to her). A couple weeks later she introduced me to her friends though. Looking back now, it's like she was talking in circles and this wasn't fair to me. Anyways, after that talk we agreed to hangout later the same night. But a little later she texted me saying me confronting her freaked her out and that she needed space. I told her we should talk about it in person because she was going on vacation for a week the next day. Amazingly she agreed. I went over and we had a great night and I slept over, then saw her off the next morning. Everything seemed perfect after that--totally back to normal. Then she got this kidney infected last week and was really sick (but we still hungout and like I said I spent the night with her two nights in a row last weekend because she wanted me to), then a week later she dumps me.

Ok, I posted before reading this. She definitely saw you as a rebound, and wasn't expecting anything serious out of this since the beginning. Accusing you of not being serious is just her way of justifying not taking the relationship seriously herself. Girls ALWAYS find a way to pin it on the guy.

[skinnyfat88]

The reason I sat her down and had a talk a few weeks ago was because, in my mind, she was acting weird. She had posted a sexually charged pic and vid on her Snapchat story, then she told me she was babysitting Friday but I saw snap story videos of her having a party at her apartment which she didn't tell me about or invite me to. I confronted her in person the next day and we sat down and talked. She said contradictory things... She said she was hesitant to introduce me to friends and etc because she wasn't sure how serious I was, and that I didn't "text her like a boyfriend", but also said she felt like her "heart was closed". This is also when I gave her the "out" (I didn't want her to take it, but I did give it to her). A couple weeks later she introduced me to her friends though. Looking back now, it's like she was talking in circles and this wasn't fair to me. Anyways, after that talk we agreed to hangout later the same night. But a little later she texted me saying me confronting her freaked her out and that she needed space. I told her we should talk about it in person because she was going on vacation for a week the next day. Amazingly she agreed. I went over and we had a great night and I slept over, then saw her off the next morning. Everything seemed perfect after that--totally back to normal. Then she got this kidney infected last week and was really sick (but we still hungout and like I said I spent the night with her two nights in a row last weekend because she wanted me to), then a week later she dumps me.



It is. The chemistry was so strong that I felt like she was the one. I'm not even joking

I also skipped this post when I posted my last response.

Dude - she was not serious about you. Maybe it was the timing because she just got out of an LTR but it's obvious NC is the only way to make her interested in you at some point in the future but really you should be focused on moving on completely.

Also - "doesn't text like a boyfriend" would grind my gears.

[Bonesbrahh]

Little more information... When we talked that day she told me that she did babysit, but afterwards her girlfriend wanted to hangout. They hangout and other people got invited, which turned it into a party. She also texted me "hey" that night. I responded saying hey back and she never responded after that. I asked her about it and she said she was going to invite me, but decided against it because she didn't think I'd have a good time since everyone was drinking and I don't really drink. I'm not making excuses for her here--that WAS sketchy. But after our talk everything was great. And like I said a couple weeks later she actually introduced me to her best friends.

And on top of that her mom texted me earlier this week because she went to the hospital (the kidney infection) and her mom wanted to keep me updated on her status

[Bonesbrahh]

I also skipped this post when I posted my last response.

Dude - she was not serious about you. Maybe it was the timing because she just got out of an LTR but it's obvious NC is the only way to make her interested in you at some point in the future but really you should be focused on moving on completely.

Also - "doesn't text like a boyfriend" would grind my gears.

She said that I would only text her on days we would hangout and not in between. She listed that as one of the reasons why she didn't know if I was serious

[xvicknumber7x]

youre really reading way too much into stuff brah. women can love you one day and not love you the next. just take the L and don't try to justify or explain or rationalize what happened. just move on and forget about it.

[Bonesbrahh]

She just texted me responding to the message I sent her. I didn't think she was going to at this point.

"Yeah I shouldn't have started dating right away, I need time. I think I thought I was over my ex but honestly I don't think I was. I'm sorry Bonesbrahh. I just need to be alone right now."

You guys were saying I should've written something like "I understand. Thanks for all the great times and amazing memories these past few months. If you change your mind let me know. Good luck". Should I say that in response now? I feel like I should say something to act like I'm not as affected by this as I am, as well as end it on a better note than my last text

[smashedurgfx10]

She just texted me responding to the message I sent her. I didn't think she was going to at this point.

"Yeah I shouldn't have started dating right away, I need time. I think I thought I was over my ex but honestly I don't think I was. I'm sorry Bonesbrahh. I just need to be alone right now."

You guys were saying I should've written something like "I understand. Thanks for all the great times and amazing memories these past few months. If you change your mind let me know. Good luck". Should I say that in response now?

No for the love of God dont do that

Just say ok no worries and fukking nc the girl. For your sake not hers. She has a ton of red flags and isnt good for you in the slightest

You don't need this drama in your life

Stop giving yourself to her on a silver platter when she clearly doesn't feel the same way it makes you look incredibly weak. Have some standards and self respect

If youre still hanging around for this girl 'if she changes her mind what do you think that conveys to her

She doesn't want to be with you man. Step back and accept the hard truth

[Kev1972]

Just stop being emotionally needy and stop chasing her.

She might even still like you if you had good sex but you need to start acting like a man that has other options and keep her ass as a side piece. You have to display certain attributes to get her to chase you. Time for some dread game on her ass. Get some pix with a better looking girl and post them publicly on your social media. Use a relationship phrase like thanking God for bringing you together. Guarantee her interest in you will spike if you keep playing it cool.

https://tddaygame.com/dread-game/

[Bonesbrahh]

No for the love of God dont do that

Just say ok no worries and fukking nc the girl. For your sake not hers. She has a ton of red flags and isnt good for you in the slightest

You don't need this drama in your life

Stop giving yourself to her on a silver platter when she clearly doesn't feel the same way it makes you look incredibly weak. Have some standards and self respect

If youre still hanging around for this girl 'if she changes her mind what do you think that conveys to her

She doesn't want to be with you man. Step back and accept the hard truth

What about "it's ok Sarah. I understand" then I delete her number?

I'm sorry I'm just in no frame of mind to think about this from a "game" perspective. As pathetic as it is the only thing I want in this world right now is for her to want me like I do her. I realize this is not going to happen, but I can't help it

[skinnyfat88]

What about "it's ok Sarah. I understand" then I delete her number?

I'm sorry I'm just in no frame of mind to think about this from a "game" perspective. As pathetic as it is the only thing I want in this world right now is for her to want me like I do her. I realize this is not going to happen, but I can't help it

Definitely don't say "if you change your mind let me know" as that implies she still has you wrapped around her finger and can have you whenever she wants (which makes her subconsciously not want you).

"All good, I understand. We had a lot of fun. Take care."

[DBoyDaRealest]

Definitely don't say "if you change your mind let me know" as that implies she still has you wrapped around her finger and can have you whenever she wants (which makes her subconsciously not want you).

"All good, I understand. We had a lot of fun. Take care."

Either send something like this or don't reply at all.

[smashedurgfx10]

Either send something like this or don't reply at all.

Inb4 op doesn't do this and messes it up

Youre not in the right frame of mind right now op. Either wait a couple of days before responding so you can think clearly or say what we're suggesting

[savageoldman]

thats life son

there are worse things to happen to you then having some broad break up with you trust me