Ended it w/ girlfriend of 1 year

[Luc1fer]

There was a guy I was kinda suspicious about, some comments on her social media etc. I also know they had some sexual history.

I confronted her last night and point blank asked her if she had met up with him since we started in the relationship. She denied it. Repeatedly. Over and over. Very convincing.

I demanded she open her messages if she was being honest and she actually showed me. His first name wasn't correct in the contact list; she had some stupid explanation. I scrolled and saw some back and forths a couple of months after we were exclusive; I saw that she had asked to meet for drinks and they met.

She then claimed that she had forgot they met.

In March, I saw another back and forth about plans to go to a restaurant. She had just started living with me at this point (coronavirus lockdowns). The plans fell through because she was sick.

That's the end of their messages.

She then kinda admitted to meeting him, but said there was no sex. They had only had sex twice years ago. They were just friends.

I told her it was done and she has to move out immediately. It's happening now.

We were due to move into an apartment together next week; I will now be moving alone and fronting the full rent which sucks.

[spazzin]

good that u dumped her, relationships are built on honesty and she is a lying sack of chit

[Legz422]

Oh no. I'm so sorry Luci. I remember when you posted about that a while ago. Liars suck.

[Gaedj]

Welcome to the redpill community

[DBoyDaRealest]

sucks but you did good trusting your gut and asking the hard questions. Better to find out now about her then later on.

they might or might not have had sex but honestly it doesn't matter. Good job

[Luc1fer]

Oh no. I'm so sorry Luci. I remember when you posted about that a while ago. Liars suck.

Thanks, it really sucks. I didn't post about this guy before, but obviously I was generally suspicious and didn't fully trust her.

[Legz422]

Thanks, it really sucks. I didn't post about this guy before, but obviously I was generally suspicious and didn't fully trust her.

It does really suck. :/ Oh, I thought you had posted before about some guy she knew. A coworker or something? This is a different one?

[Mr Beer]

Sorry it went down like that. Respect for making the hard choices.

How did she respond, tears and gaslighting or resignation? Also where's she going? I know it's not your problem but I assume she's not sleeping on the streets tonight?

[Luc1fer]

It does really suck. :/ Oh, I thought you had posted before about some guy she knew. A coworker or something? This is a different one?

This guy seems like an old FWB type thing. But I think my instinct was on point, just directed at the wrong guy if that makes sense.

Sorry it went down like that. Respect for making the hard choices.

How did she respond, tears and gaslighting or resignation? Also where's she going? I know it's not your problem but I assume she's not sleeping on the streets tonight?

It's difficult/painful for sure. But this one is at least pretty clear cut I think.

She gaslighted a bit at first and I called her out on it. Then did it again this morning by remarking on my timing and had messaged friends saying how I was untrusting.

Now, it's more just tears and resignation. I'm sure they'll all make me out to be the bad guy, that's how it goes down. She will stay with friends.

[AdikinBawls]

I've been there, sadly, and you did the right thing. Nobody, man or woman, should be hanging out one-on-one with someone they've had history with while in a relationship. Also, if she had sex with him in the past and is still interested in seeing him, then it must not have been so bad. Even if she didn't cheat, she was definitely tempted.

Though I'm curious as to why you think she was dating you instead of him in the first place. Does it seem like he's not a relationship type of guy?

[Legz422]

This guy seems like an old FWB type thing. But I think my instinct was on point, just directed at the wrong guy if that makes sense.

Oh, that's bullchit. I'd never meet my former FWB for even a coffee if I were in a relationship with someone.

It's difficult/painful for sure. But this one is at least pretty clear cut I think.

She gaslighted a bit at first and I called her out on it. Then did it again this morning by remarking on my timing and had messaged friends saying how I was untrusting.

Now, it's more just tears and resignation. I'm sure they'll all make me out to be the bad guy, that's how it goes down.

Of course you'll be made out to be the bad guy. That's always what happens.

[Luc1fer]

I've been there, sadly, and you did the right thing. Nobody, man or woman, should be hanging out one-on-one with someone they've had history with while in a relationship. Also, if she had sex with him in the past and is still interested in seeing him, then it must not have been so bad. Even if she didn't cheat, she was definitely tempted.

Though I'm curious as to why you think she was dating you instead of him in the first place. Does it seem like he's not a relationship type of guy?

I honestly don't know, could be a lot of reasons. She said they were friends for years, then eventually had sex... seems like FWB type deal.

I don't believe anything she says now regardless so it doesn't matter, because she's proven she can lie well to me. So even on that basis, it has to end.

[Luc1fer]

Oh, that's bullchit. I'd never meet my former FWB for even a coffee if I were in a relationship with someone.

Ye I said that, and she kinda acted oblivious. I think this is her first serious relationship, but she knew my position on stuff. Hence, keeping it secret from me.

[spazzin]

I honestly don't know, could be a lot of reasons. She said they were friends for years, then eventually had sex... seems like FWB type deal.

I don't believe anything she says now regardless so it doesn't matter, because she's proven she can lie well. So even on that basis, it has to end.

she admitted to having sex with him 2 times after denying it at first, she said 2 since 1 is a dead lie and 2 sounds small and semi believable. She has def fukked him many times

[Luc1fer]

she admitted to having sex with him 2 times after denying it at first, she said 2 since 1 is a dead lie and 2 sounds small and semi believable. She has def fukked him many times

Well, she never denied having sex with him ever, just not while we were together. Hard to believe though, considering their historical FWB style exchanges.

[Gaedj]

sloots are the best liars. actually envious SRS because I hate lying so much.

Never move in with a girl while you are in a relationship. One of the worst mistakes you can make in a relationship srs.

[skinnyfat88]

She then kinda admitted to meeting him, but said there was no sex. They had only had sex twice years ago. They were just friends.

Sorry to hear but "staying friends" with someone she's had relations with in the past and meeting them in person behind your back is grounds for dismissal so I think you made the right call.

[Mr Beer]

I'm sure they'll all make me out to be the bad guy, that's how it goes down. She will stay with friends.

Yeah 100% you will be the bad guy, nothing can be done about that. Boobs before dudes.

[Luc1fer]

Sorry to hear but "staying friends" with someone she's had relations with in the past and meeting them in person behind your back is grounds for dismissal so I think you made the right call.

Exactly, it's a pretty clear call on top of the lying.

I just don't get how people can do this stuff. My guilt would eat me up inside. I need to find someone with better values.

[Legz422]

I honestly don't know, could be a lot of reasons. She said they were friends for years, then eventually had sex... seems like FWB type deal.

I don't believe anything she says now regardless so it doesn't matter, because she's proven she can lie well to me. So even on that basis, it has to end.

Exactly. Once you catch someone in a lie, it's pointless to try to make it work. You won't be able to believe anything they say again.

[AdikinBawls]

I honestly don't know, could be a lot of reasons. She said they were friends for years, then eventually had sex... seems like FWB type deal.

I don't believe anything she says now regardless so it doesn't matter, because she's proven she can lie well to me. So even on that basis, it has to end.

It was a FWB type thing when it happened to me too. Basically the type of guy that's always getting girls and doesn't want to settle down, but the girls keep in contact while dating other guys in the hope that he eventually changes his mind. Seems to be pretty common now, due to people being so well-connected in this age (phones + social media).

Anyway, really sorry to hear about this. Keep your chin up, stay positive, and keep on searching for the right girl.

[skinnyfat88]

It was a FWB type thing when it happened to me too. Basically the type of guy that's always getting girls and doesn't want to settle down, but the girls keep in contact while dating other guys in the hope that he eventually changes his mind. Seems to be pretty common now, due to people being so well-connected in this age (phones + social media).

I think some people "stay friends" with casual flings to make themselves feel better about having them ie "oh he legit values me as a friend and we just so happened to also hook up but I'm not just some booty call and I will prove it by staying friends with him after I stop putting out."

But it's a poor excuse and not worth jeopardizing relationships over.

[Gaedj]

I think some people "stay friends" with casual flings to make themselves feel better about having them ie "oh he legit values me as a friend and we just so happened to also hook up but I'm not just some booty call and I will prove it by staying friends with him after I stop putting out."

But it's a poor excuse and not worth jeopardizing relationships over.

Nah people stay friends as a backup plan.

"If my bf is being an ******* or he breaks up with me, I'm gonna go suk his dink to get back at him!"

That's the subconscious mindset that governs these dumb sloots who stay friends with their exes and FWB

[ChangeOfStyle]

That sucks man but keep your head up bro, hopefully you'll find a chick that's compatible with ya in every way mate. ****ing cheaters mate, bunch of degeenerate ****s.

All for the best tho man, better off it happening now then if you were married and had kids

[BlackScorpio91]

I honestly didn't know you had a gf but if that's the case that sucks.

[sandman2019]

Dude you're aesthetic as **** a legit 9/10

How do even you get cheated on?

WTF?????????????????????????????????????????ITS POINTLESS

[Gaedj]

Dude you're aesthetic as **** a legit 9/10

How do even you get cheated on?

WTF?????????????????????????????????????????ITS POINTLESS

It's over for you lil sandboyo. Give up on ur dream of securing a gf

[InsanePain11]

You did the right thing with strongly confronting her even though she was manipulating while acting like you were controlling. Cheaters or manipulators almost always behave that way, and try to turn things on you as if you're in the wrong. That's some teenage type of behavior there.

Keep your head up high. She can try to say whatever but deep down she will feel like sh!t that she did this, and lost someone great. Maybe not now but eventually. Not the type of girl you want in your life, so you made a great decision and will walk away with self respect intact. She was betraying you with those messages and contact with him..really low stuff there, weak integrity etc. You'll find better man!

[Luc1fer]

You did the right thing with strongly confronting her even though she was manipulating while acting like you were controlling.

Keep your head up high. She can try to say whatever but deep down she will feel like sh!t that she did this, and lost someone great. Maybe not now but eventually. Not the type of girl you want in your life, so you made a great decision and will walk away with self respect intact. She was betraying you with those messages and contact with him..really low stuff there, weak integrity etc. You'll find better man!

Thanks man, the inevitable questioning my decision is happening now.

[RonaldMcflurry]

they might or might not have had sex but honestly it doesn't matter. Good job

Most likely they did, but it doesn't matter. Simply texting someone something that you wouldn't be cool with is cheating. Period. Let that ho go. Plenty more out there.