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  1. #31
    I woke up like dis RonaldMcflurry's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by DBoyDaRealest View Post
    they might or might not have had sex but honestly it doesn't matter. Good job
    Most likely they did, but it doesn't matter. Simply texting someone something that you wouldn't be cool with is cheating. Period. Let that ho go. Plenty more out there.
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  2. #32
    Registered User Pterodactyl314's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Luc1fer View Post
    Thanks man, the inevitable questioning my decision is happening now.
    There’s nothing to question, what’s done is done.
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  3. #33
    Registered User savageoldman's Avatar
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    you did the right thing

    good for you not letting it slide
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  4. #34
    EDM since way back when Briisk's Avatar
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    Must have had a strong gut feel that something was up. I imagine if you demanded her to show the phone, and you saw nothing, she'd have all rights to gtfo the relationship. It was a gamble you did but the gut is typically correct. Lies and shet after 1 year.. that's bogus af.
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  5. #35
    King of Durotar imbored21's Avatar
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    make sure she takes her birth control pills this time
    gone
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  6. #36
    Here's beer Mr Beer's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Luc1fer View Post
    Thanks man, the inevitable questioning my decision is happening now.
    You knew something was up, meaning that this was not the only thing that gave you cause for concern, consciously or otherwise. If she had seemed completely trustworthy, you would never have gotten to this incident.
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  7. #37
    🅳🅰🆂 🅸🆃 Luc1fer's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Mr Beer View Post
    You knew something was up, meaning that this was not the only thing that gave you cause for concern, consciously or otherwise. If she had seemed completely trustworthy, you would never have gotten to this incident.
    Idk if you remember but I was on edge about a co-worker of hers before. Just never really trusted her. For good reason it turns out.
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  8. #38
    Registered User Gaedj's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Luc1fer View Post
    Idk if you remember but I was on edge about a co-worker of hers before. Just never really trusted her. For good reason it turns out.
    You were about to move in with a girl you don't even trust...?
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  9. #39
    Sry babe no cardio sloppyjoe1's Avatar
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    Hey bud, good job. Girls like to keep past interests in their back pocket, and when you broke up with her, he was probably the first dude she contacted. Probably saying bad things about you, and he will be like fuk that dude. When you get older you've seen situations play out and it becomes predictable. My question is, why didn't you kick her to the curb back in March? She obviously tried to sell the lie and realized you had proof and so she backtracked saying she forgot she met up with him. Good liars are very convincing, good that you went with your gut.
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  10. #40
    Registered User DustinTheHuss's Avatar
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    I'm sorry to hear that this happened.

    Isn't she much younger than you? I bet it's straight up immaturity on her part. Sigh.
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  11. #41
    Registered User Gaedj's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by DustinTheHuss View Post
    I'm sorry to hear that this happened.

    Isn't she much younger than you? I bet it's straight up immaturity on her part. Sigh.
    It's just being a chit person. Not about maturity.
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  12. #42
    Registered User DustinTheHuss's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Gaedj View Post
    It's just being a chit person. Not about maturity.
    I think dating someone 10+ years younger usually ends with some immature bullchit on their part. I would know since I dating younger all of the time and they pull similar bullchit on me. Ugh.

    I feel bad for OP though as the gf before this one sounded like a tough one to be around. He deserves a good quality woman.
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  13. #43
    🅳🅰🆂 🅸🆃 Luc1fer's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by DustinTheHuss View Post
    I think dating someone 10+ years younger usually ends with some immature bullchit on their part. I would know since I dating younger all of the time and they pull similar bullchit on me. Ugh.

    I feel bad for OP though as the gf before this one sounded like a tough one to be around. He deserves a good quality woman.
    Really appreciate that, I really try to do the right thing and stand by good values. I’m probably looking in the wrong place for good morals.
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  14. #44
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    Even if she is legit sorry it doesn't matter. You forgiving her will register forever in her subconscious she can get away with it in the future. She'll subconsciously respect you less too for taking her back.

    You did the right thing.
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  15. #45
    Spoon Pic Connoisseur adamsz's Avatar
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    women and monkey branching....

    that's biology unfortunately

    sucks
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  16. #46
    Registered User DustinTheHuss's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Luc1fer View Post
    Really appreciate that, I really try to do the right thing and stand by good values. I’m probably looking in the wrong place for good morals.
    Your city is a chithole for people with good morals, unfortunately. It's great to find feminists with pink hair and homeless people. It's sad.
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  17. #47
    Registered User nikonD70s's Avatar
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    Das it mane

    Sloots gon sloots
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  18. #48
    Registered User Imnew1's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by DarthCholo View Post
    Even if she is legit sorry it doesn't matter. You forgiving her will register forever in her subconscious she can get away with it in the future. She'll subconsciously respect you less too for taking her back.

    You did the right thing.
    Amen.

    I know it sucks and unfortunately this is part of life when dealing with the wrong woman of terrible moral character OP. The day you need to ask to see their phone is the day the relationship is done. No decent and confident bf is asking a decent trust worthy gf to see their phone for no good reason, and each side knows that and the guy has a natural instinct to know that their gf has been up to something if they force that conversation. A girl is either whoring around and keeping her options open, or the guy is a totally insecure beta who should be dumped as well. Either way it's over.

    In my experience women are dumb as **** at hiding cheating behavior and rules against relationships behavior on their phones and social media from their significant others, and somehow think they're really smart at it. Simple things like the phone down, or keeping it with them at all times, tilting it away from you where you can't see what they're texting or doing on instagram, etc etc., and just their overall affection and body language around you at that point. Good for you on calling her out on it and dodging a bullet. There's good women out there that don't do this ****.
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  19. #49
    Registered User RayBoccini's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Luc1fer View Post
    Thanks man, the inevitable questioning my decision is happening now.
    That's just that part of your brain that wants more dopamine hit from her.

    You made the right choice.
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  20. #50
    False Football Prophet drvillain's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Luc1fer View Post
    Idk if you remember but I was on edge about a co-worker of hers before. Just never really trusted her. For good reason it turns out.
    ALWAYS trust your instinct. It's going off to protect you. I'm proud son
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  21. #51
    Registered User SteadyFlexOnU's Avatar
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    Exclamation

    Originally Posted by Luc1fer View Post
    There was a guy I was kinda suspicious about, some comments on her social media etc. I also know they had some sexual history.

    I confronted her last night and point blank asked her if she had met up with him since we started in the relationship. She denied it. Repeatedly. Over and over. Very convincing.

    I demanded she open her messages if she was being honest and she actually showed me. His first name wasn't correct in the contact list; she had some stupid explanation. I scrolled and saw some back and forths a couple of months after we were exclusive; I saw that she had asked to meet for drinks and they met.

    She then claimed that she had forgot they met.

    In March, I saw another back and forth about plans to go to a restaurant. She had just started living with me at this point (coronavirus lockdowns). The plans fell through because she was sick.

    That's the end of their messages.

    She then kinda admitted to meeting him, but said there was no sex. They had only had sex twice years ago. They were just friends.

    I told her it was done and she has to move out immediately. It's happening now.

    We were due to move into an apartment together next week; I will now be moving alone and fronting the full rent which sucks.
    . Whats with the username? Ur just going to have bad things happen to u in like continously with u reppin that name.
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  22. #52
    Registered User Austin317's Avatar
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    Sorry to hear that man, I can’t say much that hasn’t already been said. Obviously questioning your decision is going to come up now and again but you know you’ve made the right choice with this, don’t go back and stick to what you’ve decided. Good on you for immediately cutting it off though and not giving her the opportunity to try and talk anything through, what she did is 100% dismissal with no discussions.

    What a ducking bitch she is though man. What I find weird about stuff like this is the balls on her to do that. If I was gonna meet up with a girl and I had a girlfriend I’d be looking to do it in the most secretive location ever in fear of getting caught if I were to be in a public place, I don’t get how people can do this.
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  23. #53
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    Always trust your gut. Well done OP.
    It’s gonna be tough, but stick to your principles. You can’t be with a liar. It’s that simple.
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  24. #54
    Registered User smashedurgfx10's Avatar
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    sounds about right bro.

    they will deny and bend the truth even in the face of strong evidence.

    your gut still told you something was up. good job man for following through
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  25. #55
    🅳🅰🆂 🅸🆃 Luc1fer's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Austin317 View Post
    What a ducking bitch she is though man. What I find weird about stuff like this is the balls on her to do that. If I was gonna meet up with a girl and I had a girlfriend I’d be looking to do it in the most secretive location ever in fear of getting caught if I were to be in a public place, I don’t get how people can do this.
    When I look back through my own messages for the same day that (I know of) that they met up, she even has a message to me saying "Mike says the next episode of bla is good". I think at the time I had just assumed she was messaging some friend of hers. So idk how to make sense of that... did she think it was okay to meet with him? Or just realize I wouldn't think anything of it, which I didn't.

    She had a couple of long term guy friends too, and I had no issue with them at all. They were cool, so it wasn't like I was just super paranoid about any guy.

    But I never met this guy, I never knew about the meetups (which I think were semi-regular based on one of his messages "usual at <restaurant> this week? Sorry I've been super busy").

    So in any case, she was hiding the fact she was meeting this guy from me AND lied point blank when I asked her if they had met at all. That alone is enough to end it. She admitted it was suspect, but kept saying they didn't have sex. I just said I can't believe a thing you tell me now, now that I know you're capable of lying to my face.
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  26. #56
    Registered User Legz422's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Luc1fer View Post
    When I look back through my own messages for the same day that (I know of) that they met up, she even has a message to me saying "Mike says the next episode of bla is good". I think at the time I had just assumed she was messaging some friend of hers. So idk how to make sense of that... did she think it was okay to meet with him? Or just realize I wouldn't think anything of it, which I didn't.

    She had a couple of long term guy friends too, and I had no issue with them at all. They were cool, so it wasn't like I was just super paranoid about any guy.

    But I never met this guy, I never knew about the meetups (which I think were semi-regular based on one of his messages "usual at <restaurant> this week? Sorry I've been super busy").

    So in any case, she was hiding the fact she was meeting this guy from me AND lied point blank when I asked her if they had met at all. That alone is enough to end it. She admitted it was suspect, but kept saying they didn't have sex. I just said I can't believe a thing you tell me now, now that I know you're capable of lying to my face.
    Bingo. Yep. That's what happens when you catch someone in a lie. You look back and question everything and you'd never be able to trust them again. You'd second guess everything. It's good that you're strong enough to stand your ground and break up with her.
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  27. #57
    Registered User smashedurgfx10's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Luc1fer View Post
    When I look back through my own messages for the same day that (I know of) that they met up, she even has a message to me saying "Mike says the next episode of bla is good". I think at the time I had just assumed she was messaging some friend of hers. So idk how to make sense of that... did she think it was okay to meet with him? Or just realize I wouldn't think anything of it, which I didn't.

    She had a couple of long term guy friends too, and I had no issue with them at all. They were cool, so it wasn't like I was just super paranoid about any guy.

    But I never met this guy, I never knew about the meetups (which I think were semi-regular based on one of his messages "usual at <restaurant> this week? Sorry I've been super busy").

    So in any case, she was hiding the fact she was meeting this guy from me AND lied point blank when I asked her if they had met at all. That alone is enough to end it. She admitted it was suspect, but kept saying they didn't have sex. I just said I can't believe a thing you tell me now, now that I know you're capable of lying to my face.

    Id be tempted to say they smashed on this alone

    "usual at <restaurant> this week? Sorry I've been super busy")
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  28. #58
    Misc Apocalypse canonhope's Avatar
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    you made the right decision

    your gut was true. She has a strong monkey branch characteristic. Better to end it now than years later and you're in deep.

    My ex wife tries to keep me in her back pocket lol

    And I've had tons of those feelings too about whether it was the right thing to end it or should I try to get back with her. Those feelings are natural if you've been with someone a long time. But I could nevaaaa. Only thing I really miss is half the savings that went away lmao
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  29. #59
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    Originally Posted by Luc1fer View Post
    Exactly, it's a pretty clear call on top of the lying.

    I just don't get how people can do this stuff. My guilt would eat me up inside. I need to find someone with better values.
    damn dude.
    that sucks.

    miscers need to pay attention.

    you did it right.
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  30. #60
    Starvation Mode GO! NitrogenWidget's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by skinnyfat88 View Post
    I think some people "stay friends" with casual flings to make themselves feel better about having them ie "oh he legit values me as a friend and we just so happened to also hook up but I'm not just some booty call and I will prove it by staying friends with him after I stop putting out."

    But it's a poor excuse and not worth jeopardizing relationships over.
    I don't get it.
    I pretty much put any and all women i know at arms length whether i slept with them or not when i'm exclusive with someone.
    I don't text with them or hang out alone with them either.
    sometimes i'd see them at group things at which i'm friendly but don't give them much attention other than a quick catch up.

    i'm not that guy.

    though, I have had women I used to bang living with dudes who still hit me up randomly trying to flirt and whatnot and I'm honestly turned off by it.
    i've also had women with BF's want to come "hang out" because they were bored and i'd ask if they were still with that guy and .....nothing. LOL!
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