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  1. #1
    Registered User TugOfPeace's Avatar
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    Holy fuk. This easy to get ghosted these days?

    This girl messaged me on Hinge on Sunday last week. I'd say for an Indian girl, she's a 8. As an Indian guy, I'm probably in the same range. Anyways, she messaged me first, we had some great conversation back and forth from Sunday to Thursday. Thursday, she asks if I have any weekend plans. I tell her my brother is coming up to visit, and ask if she's free next week. Yada yada we chat a little bit more, then she leaves me on read Thursday night. I was cool with that, figured she was socially intelligent and didn't want to take away time from my brother that weekend.

    I text her today, no response.

    At no point in our conversation was I beta, no neediness at all, nothing, but holy fuk. She's like 3 miles away in the city.

    She did mention she was super busy with school + work, but she was texting me all throughout the day last week.

    Is it this easy to get ghosted? They go cold THAT quickly?
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  2. #2
    Sry babe no cardio sloppyjoe1's Avatar
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    Yup, used to happen to me all the time when I was on those apps. Girls would message me, then shortly after would disappear.

    A woman's inbox on a dating app is absolutely flooded. Even the 4/10's get blasted. Most of us men feel pretty good when we have a few options going on, but imagine when you're a woman and you have a hundred options. It's so easy to dump one and see what the next ride is all about.

    Most women on dating apps are not looking for a relationship, especially during this covid crap. They're looking for quick and easy attention, which is like crack cocaine to women.
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  3. #3
    Registered User PxV's Avatar
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    Pretty much what the post above said. Women have way too many options, just don't have any expectations and you won't be deceived.
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    Registered User TugOfPeace's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by sloppyjoe1 View Post
    Yup, used to happen to me all the time when I was on those apps. Girls would message me, then shortly after would disappear.

    A woman's inbox on a dating app is absolutely flooded. Even the 4/10's get blasted. Most of us men feel pretty good when we have a few options going on, but imagine when you're a woman and you have a hundred options. It's so easy to dump one and see what the next ride is all about.

    Most women on dating apps are not looking for a relationship, especially during this covid crap. They're looking for quick and easy attention, which is like crack cocaine to women.
    Originally Posted by PxV View Post
    Pretty much what the post above said. Women have way too many options, just don't have any expectations and you won't be deceived.
    Wtf. I felt like I really vibed with this chick. How the heck do they just drop stuff so quickly?

    And to think, I've been texting a girl in Scotland who seems pretty keen on knowing me, as well as NJ.. and I'm in Illinois

    Is it pretty much the idea that with online dating, you have to act fast otherwise they lose interest? You can't take your time? Either that or be better than all her other options?
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  5. #5
    Sry babe no cardio sloppyjoe1's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by PxV View Post
    Pretty much what the post above said. Women have way too many options, just don't have any expectations and you won't be deceived.
    Yep. There's good and bad out there just like with anything. But modern times proves to be very toxic if you actually want to find somebody to settle down with and have a stable family.
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  6. #6
    Sry babe no cardio sloppyjoe1's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by TugOfPeace View Post
    Wtf. I felt like I really vibed with this chick. How the heck do they just drop stuff so quickly?

    And to think, I've been texting a girl in Scotland who seems pretty keen on knowing me, as well as NJ.. and I'm in Illinois

    Is it pretty much the idea that with online dating, you have to act fast otherwise they lose interest? You can't take your time? Either that or be better than all her other options?
    Back in May I matched with a really pretty girl who I know has tons of guys hitting her up, so I never take it seriously..but she and I talked on the phone for a few hours. Next day I text her that evening and she hits me with a "who's this"? I didn't care much because I know female nature, can never rely on them. But just thought it was dumb to say that.

    I tried a few different ways of going about it. I found that if you small talk too much or are not interesting right off the bat, you're done. So I tried being aggressive and just getting to the point and asking girls out. They'd respond curious with what the date would be, but then disappeared again. It's almost like a game where every level passed brings a new harder level. It's like you're in a job interview against 100 others. My suggestion is to detach from dating. Focus on your own life and if anything worth while comes along it will on its own. Every time I've chased a woman in my life it's always turned out to be a huge waste of time.
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  7. #7
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    thats the nature of online/app dating. Get use to it, and don't take it personally. You're already over analyzing
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  8. #8
    Registered User TugOfPeace's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by sloppyjoe1 View Post
    Back in May I matched with a really pretty girl who I know has tons of guys hitting her up, so I never take it seriously..but she and I talked on the phone for a few hours. Next day I text her that evening and she hits me with a "who's this"? I didn't care much because I know female nature, can never rely on them. But just thought it was dumb to say that.

    I tried a few different ways of going about it. I found that if you small talk too much or are not interesting right off the bat, you're done. So I tried being aggressive and just getting to the point and asking girls out. They'd respond curious with what the date would be, but then disappeared again. It's almost like a game where every level passed brings a new harder level. It's like you're in a job interview against 100 others. My suggestion is to detach from dating. Focus on your own life and if anything worth while comes along it will on its own. Every time I've chased a woman in my life it's always turned out to be a huge waste of time.
    meh. I'm 32 and single still, but I've got my chit together. problem is with COVID, I'm completely alone, I don't go out at all
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  9. #9
    Sry babe no cardio sloppyjoe1's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by TugOfPeace View Post
    meh. I'm 32 and single still, but I've got my chit together. problem is with COVID, I'm completely alone, I don't go out at all
    I know it's rough for everybody in some way, but if you can teach yourself to be comfortable alone, you're untouchable.
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  10. #10
    Registered User TugOfPeace's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by sloppyjoe1 View Post
    I know it's rough for everybody in some way, but if you can teach yourself to be comfortable alone, you're untouchable.
    problem is I've been alone for too long brah. I have no problem doing that but it's not the right way to live. I want to settle down
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  11. #11
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    Yes

    That's the nature of dating. She might already be entertaining another man (this is often the case). Just move on to the next. You're still young, plenty of time to date around. If I was a man I wouldn't settle down until I'm at least in my 40s.

    I could be really interested in a man but if he texts me too much or try to chit chat with me for too long...I get bored waiting for him to ask me on a date so I'll forget about him. You're a man, you're suppose to be masculine and go for what you want. Most people you meet aren't going to work out and that's totally fine. Don't waste brain space over it...
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    I get ghosted all the time for no reason, just basic bitches, forget them.

    Fyi i made a fake girl profile on tinder a few years ago, its ****in ridiculous for a woman on there, the entire male population swipes right for anyone over 6/10 and say **** they'd never have the balls to do IRL. Also a girl i dated recently told me she was drunk one night and paid the tinder plus to see how many matches there were beyond the 99+....

    Over 10 thousand.

    Dont lose any sleep over it bud.
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    Originally Posted by sloppyjoe1 View Post
    Back in May I matched with a really pretty girl who I know has tons of guys hitting her up, so I never take it seriously..but she and I talked on the phone for a few hours. Next day I text her that evening and she hits me with a "who's this"? I didn't care much because I know female nature, can never rely on them. But just thought it was dumb to say that.
    how do you know it wasn't a sht test or a way to tease you?

    should of hit her back with a clever jab or teased back in a funny way
    Have goodnight.
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    Originally Posted by TugOfPeace View Post
    This girl messaged me on Hinge on Sunday last week. I'd say for an Indian girl, she's a 8. As an Indian guy, I'm probably in the same range. Anyways, she messaged me first, we had some great conversation back and forth from Sunday to Thursday. Thursday, she asks if I have any weekend plans. I tell her my brother is coming up to visit, and ask if she's free next week. Yada yada we chat a little bit more, then she leaves me on read Thursday night. I was cool with that, figured she was socially intelligent and didn't want to take away time from my brother that weekend.

    I text her today, no response.

    At no point in our conversation was I beta, no neediness at all, nothing, but holy fuk. She's like 3 miles away in the city.

    She did mention she was super busy with school + work, but she was texting me all throughout the day last week.

    Is it this easy to get ghosted? They go cold THAT quickly?
    It's always something about oppurtunity

    for example, if you match and talk to a chick and you're setting something up. If it's always going to be like one week later, they just lose interest and move on to the next because you're not the only option they have as someone stated. In the same boat but I haven't been ghosted, already got her phone number. I just can't do it this week because i'm getting my motherfkn teeth pulled out so can only do it the week after

    Just find another mate but who knows, she might actually just be busy?????
    if you need someone to chat with, don't hesitate to shoot me a PM.
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  15. #15
    Sry babe no cardio sloppyjoe1's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by nettripper View Post
    how do you know it wasn't a sht test or a way to tease you?

    should of hit her back with a clever jab or teased back in a funny way
    I did treat it that way, I always give people the benefit of the doubt the first time around. I forget what I responded with but she said im at work ill text you after..never did.

    I don't care enough to chase women anymore. The prettier they are the more BS. Good looks is important for sexual attraction but beyond that there needs to be substance.
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  16. #16
    **** Love, I Want Cash. BlackScorpio91's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by sloppyjoe1 View Post
    Yup, used to happen to me all the time when I was on those apps. Girls would message me, then shortly after would disappear.

    A woman's inbox on a dating app is absolutely flooded. Even the 4/10's get blasted. Most of us men feel pretty good when we have a few options going on, but imagine when you're a woman and you have a hundred options. It's so easy to dump one and see what the next ride is all about.

    Most women on dating apps are not looking for a relationship, especially during this covid crap. They're looking for quick and easy attention, which is like crack cocaine to women.
    I have to agree with this.

    Plus it could be they either got cold feet (might not have anything to do with you but more to do with them) or maybe their ex bf or some other guy came into the picture.

    Every guy is gonna get ghosted or flaked on whether it's online or irl, EVERY guy. Yes it does suck but it is what it is. It's a numbers game so it's best to just keep on trying.

    And yes even good looking guys get ghosted and flaked on so please no "But Chad and Tyrone get all the bitches".
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    **** Love, I Want Cash. BlackScorpio91's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by sloppyjoe1 View Post
    I did treat it that way, I always give people the benefit of the doubt the first time around. I forget what I responded with but she said im at work ill text you after..never did.

    I don't care enough to chase women anymore. The prettier they are the more BS. Good looks is important for sexual attraction but beyond that there needs to be substance.
    Yeah if a woman says "I'll let you know later" or "Let me think about it" or some variation of those, that's just another soft way of saying no and rejecting you. Every situation I've been in where a woman said that they never hit me back up so I just delete their number and if they're still matched with me on a dating app, I unmatch them.
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    Originally Posted by ChangeOfStyle View Post
    It's always something about oppurtunity

    for example, if you match and talk to a chick and you're setting something up. If it's always going to be like one week later, they just lose interest and move on to the next because you're not the only option they have as someone stated. In the same boat but I haven't been ghosted, already got her phone number. I just can't do it this week because i'm getting my motherfkn teeth pulled out so can only do it the week after

    Just find another mate but who knows, she might actually just be busy?????
    Yeah I find young chicks (like early-mid 20s) if they're horny af and wanna meet up now, it's best to strike when the iron is hot as if you say "Nah not today" and offer a chance to reschedule, they're more than likely gonna ghost your ass and you're never gonna hear from them again.

    Women my age (late 20s) and older most of the time tend to not be as anal about that.
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    Sry babe no cardio sloppyjoe1's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by BlackScorpio91 View Post
    I have to agree with this.

    Plus it could be they either got cold feet (might not have anything to do with you but more to do with them) or maybe their ex bf or some other guy came into the picture.

    Every guy is gonna get ghosted or flaked on whether it's online or irl, EVERY guy. Yes it does suck but it is what it is. It's a numbers game so it's best to just keep on trying.

    And yes even good looking guys get ghosted and flaked on so please no "But Chad and Tyrone get all the bitches".
    I agree. People think chads and tyrones get all the girls online but I don't think that's true because women need that in person contact to feel a guy out. You can be the hottest dude on the online market but there's no connection when you're just conversing over text.

    Originally Posted by BlackScorpio91 View Post
    Yeah if a woman says "I'll let you know later" or "Let me think about it" or some variation of those, that's just another soft way of saying no and rejecting you. Every situation I've been in where a woman said that they never hit me back up so I just delete their number and if they're still matched with me on a dating app, I unmatch them.
    Haha yep. I really don't care if it's even a chit test, I'm not playing games. I'll shoot my shot and if it doesn't work I'm onto other things.

    Funny thing is, that girl and I matched again on a different app a few months later and she messages me saying "back for more?" I just lol'd and said "I didn't even know it was you when I swiped right, how funny." Never responded.
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    You made plans too far out in advance.
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    Originally Posted by sloppyjoe1 View Post
    I agree. People think chads and tyrones get all the girls online but I don't think that's true because women need that in person contact to feel a guy out. You can be the hottest dude on the online market but there's no connection when you're just conversing over text.



    Haha yep. I really don't care if it's even a chit test, I'm not playing games. I'll shoot my shot and if it doesn't work I'm onto other things.

    Funny thing is, that girl and I matched again on a different app a few months later and she messages me saying "back for more?" I just lol'd and said "I didn't even know it was you when I swiped right, how funny." Never responded.
    Yeah and the thing is women might have all these matches but the vast majority of guys they match with are lame af and simps (I've seen the actual messages these guys sent and it's cringe worthy) so just because they got all these matches doesn't mean they're fuking all of them. I mean I try to stand out by being direct and to the point and I'm sure you do too (I've had alot of women compliment me on how honest and blunt I am with them instead of playing games even if they reject me) but sometimes I blame the clowns online (and also the attention whores too) for making things harder than it needs to be. I've dealt with enough women that made things easy and seamless for me that if a woman makes chit difficult and is wishy washy then it's really not worth the effort.

    Plus that chick you matched with again on another app was probably an attention whore.
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    Breaker of Gains JStrez's Avatar
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    I once told a girl I wouldn't text her at all the next day because I had an 8 hour proctored training certification for work, no phone use at all or they kick you out, and she said it was cool. Class ends and I text her, and she just totally ghosted me. I eventually see her at the gym like 2 weeks later and I'm like what happened? She's like you ghosted me for the whole day after I texted you "Good Morning" while I was in the class. I told her that I had told her I had the class and she's like "it doesn't matter you should have answered". I just laughed in her face, told her good luck in life, and walked away.
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    Originally Posted by JStrez View Post
    I once told a girl I wouldn't text her at all the next day because I had an 8 hour proctored training certification for work, no phone use at all or they kick you out, and she said it was cool. Class ends and I text her, and she just totally ghosted me. I eventually see her at the gym like 2 weeks later and I'm like what happened? She's like you ghosted me for the whole day after I texted you "Good Morning" while I was in the class. I told her that I had told her I had the class and she's like "it doesn't matter you should have answered". I just laughed in her face, told her good luck in life, and walked away.
    Wow 6’3” and six figures and you get that chit.. lmfao.

    I mean I’m 5’9” and six figures as well, but the girl was 5’0” so height is irrelevant.

    I wonder if women like the one in my OP would ghost if I had my body picture up. Few to no indian dudes are in my kind of shape.All my pictures are of my face
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    it's a dating app you numbskull. You aren't friends and she doesn't know you. Why should she keep talking to you, do you think you are gods gift to Hinge? You didn't even have the nuts to meet up with her and tried to postpone for a MONTH. She would already have a new BF after a month on that app you potato.
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    Originally Posted by DBoyDaRealest View Post
    it's a dating app you numbskull. You aren't friends and she doesn't know you. Why should she keep talking to you, do you think you are gods gift to Hinge? You didn't even have the nuts to meet up with her and tried to postpone for a MONTH. She would already have a new BF after a month on that app you potato.
    Ease up on the insults.

    Several years ago when I was in my condition that's shown in my avi, that picture was up on a dating app. A girl of similar attractiveness (also Indian) messaged me. She was a fitness competitor, doctor (pulled in $500k), and also late 20s. I made her wait 6 weeks to meet me and on that 6th week I told her I'd call her. I forgot to call her and even after that, she drove up 45 mins to come see my at my place. She was making moves on me. She was the most hypergamous of the hypergamous.

    Same deal here. You don't understand what it's like for women seeking Indian guys, the ones that actually have a solid understanding of game, the ones that are shredded, and actually look good in the face, that are whitewashed, are extremely, extremely rare. My sister showed me a dating app for Indians and she swiped on nearly 200 guys in front of me, out of those 200 there were only two that were even close to looking normal.

    That's why I'm surprised.

    And for what it's worth, it's not that I didn't have the nuts to meet up with her, it's that I was out of shape. My face changes massively when I lean out.
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    Originally Posted by JStrez View Post
    I once told a girl I wouldn't text her at all the next day because I had an 8 hour proctored training certification for work, no phone use at all or they kick you out, and she said it was cool. Class ends and I text her, and she just totally ghosted me. I eventually see her at the gym like 2 weeks later and I'm like what happened? She's like you ghosted me for the whole day after I texted you "Good Morning" while I was in the class. I told her that I had told her I had the class and she's like "it doesn't matter you should have answered". I just laughed in her face, told her good luck in life, and walked away.

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    Sry babe no cardio sloppyjoe1's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by JStrez View Post
    I once told a girl I wouldn't text her at all the next day because I had an 8 hour proctored training certification for work, no phone use at all or they kick you out, and she said it was cool. Class ends and I text her, and she just totally ghosted me. I eventually see her at the gym like 2 weeks later and I'm like what happened? She's like you ghosted me for the whole day after I texted you "Good Morning" while I was in the class. I told her that I had told her I had the class and she's like "it doesn't matter you should have answered". I just laughed in her face, told her good luck in life, and walked away.
    Women logic not even once. Damned if you do, damned if you don't.
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    Originally Posted by TugOfPeace View Post
    You don't understand what it's like for women seeking Indian guys, the ones that actually have a solid understanding of game.....
    From not being able to wrap your head around ghosting after weeks of being girls emotional tampon pen pal and not meeting up, it’s you who has no understanding of game.
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    Originally Posted by akmerle View Post
    From not being able to wrap your head around ghosting after weeks of being girls emotional tampon pen pal and not meeting up, it’s you who has no understanding of game.
    Read my post again. I made a girl wait 6 weeks and banged her with zero time investment after that.

    I have a great understanding of game, in fact I’d say I did the right thing because I’m not a desperate sucker who’s going to drop all his weekend plans at the faintest whiff of pussy. Notice how she messaged first, and asked to meet over the weekend?

    I can’t wrap my mind about ghosting because it’s never happened based on how I run my game. That’s why I’m baffled.

    And it wasn’t weeks, it was 4 days of sending maybe three-five texts a day.

    Besides, why are you upset?
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    Originally Posted by TugOfPeace View Post
    Read my post again. I made a girl wait 6 weeks and banged her with zero time investment after that.

    I have a great understanding of game, in fact I’d say I did the right thing because I’m not a desperate sucker who’s going to drop all his weekend plans at the faintest whiff of pussy. Notice how she messaged first, and asked to meet over the weekend?

    I can’t wrap my mind about ghosting because it’s never happened based on how I run my game. That’s why I’m baffled.

    And it wasn’t weeks, it was 4 days of sending maybe three-five texts a day.

    Besides, why are you upset?
    Originally Posted by TugOfPeace View Post
    I matched with this girl on Sunday, she is a straight up 9/10, and we've been exchanging a few texts every night. She's legit and I really want to meet her (wife material), but the problem is I'm nowhere near the bodyfat % of my pics on the app. My face changes massively when I'm lean. Think going from a 5/10 to an 8-9/10. Not only that, I buzzed my head a while back and I need at least four-six weeks to grow it back to what's in my pics (it's already grown back a bit)

    How can I stall? The worst part about it is that she lives just two miles away.

    I'm thinking of telling her I just hit busy season with work, or that I have to travel out of state for a few weeks for work.

    I know it's a weak move, but I'd pretty much be catfishing her if I met up now. No way she'd be attracted to me. Heck, I'm even disgusted looking in the mirror. She's super busy herself so I don't think she'd take it too hard, but I don't want to ruin things. She's not a dumb girl, and may connect dots that don't exist.
    You're trying to save face by getting defensive and convincing yourself this girl you put on a pedestal is trash when in reality you likely ruined your chance due to your own insecurities (because you're out of shape), which is likely also part of the reason you put this woman on a pedestal (obviously a big no-no).

    Yeah forget about this one. Not worth stressing over but no need to convince misc et al you played this one and every other opportunity perfectly and but it just "didn't work out because she's an attention seeking online ho" or w/e you're telling yourself. Maybe that's true and maybe it isn't but you were too chicken to get your foot in the door because of what I mentioned above.

    You were doomed the moment you second guessed yourself. Chit happens man. Take the loss and get back in shape so you can get back to high confidence levels.
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