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  1. #31
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    Originally Posted by skinnyfat88 View Post
    You're trying to save face by getting defensive and convincing yourself this girl you put on a pedestal is trash when in reality you likely ruined your chance due to your own insecurities (because you're out of shape), which is likely also part of the reason you put this woman on a pedestal (obviously a big no-no).

    Yeah forget about this one. Not worth stressing over but no need to convince misc et al you played this one and every other opportunity perfectly and but it just "didn't work out because she's an attention seeking online ho" or w/e you're telling yourself. Maybe that's true and maybe it isn't but you were too chicken to get your foot in the door because of what I mentioned above.

    You were doomed the moment you second guessed yourself. Chit happens man. Take the loss and get back in shape so you can get back to high confidence levels.
    this. Just accept that you're a beta peasant and move on. Come on brah, just admit it. It's too late to act prideful.

    Luckily for you, this can be fixed quickly.


    side note: ALWAYS stay in shape (ready) so you don't have to be caught off guard in the future. If you want something, you have to take it. You can't expect to putt something on ice and have it still burning hot for you. Peace bro, and by bro, I mean never my bro bitch
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  2. #32
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    Originally Posted by TugOfPeace View Post
    Wtf. I felt like I really vibed with this chick. How the heck do they just drop stuff so quickly?
    I remember one girl in particular had let me see her inbox -- that was the first time I really understood the true dynamics of OLD between men and women. She even said she was very busy with work thus very picky so she only filtered about 100 guys per week to respond to and from those conversations she would continue dialogue with 4-5 and choose 2 to meet each week. I was fresh out of a long term relationship (pre-OLD apps) and that was the very moment I realized I was in a whole new world. Misc was right all along. If she's not responsive then that just means a better option came along. It's truly a numbers game with minimal emotions at play.
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  3. #33
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    Originally Posted by skinnyfat88 View Post
    You're trying to save face by getting defensive and convincing yourself this girl you put on a pedestal is trash when in reality you likely ruined your chance due to your own insecurities (because you're out of shape), which is likely also part of the reason you put this woman on a pedestal (obviously a big no-no).

    Yeah forget about this one. Not worth stressing over but no need to convince misc et al you played this one and every other opportunity perfectly and but it just "didn't work out because she's an attention seeking online ho" or w/e you're telling yourself. Maybe that's true and maybe it isn't but you were too chicken to get your foot in the door because of what I mentioned above.

    You were doomed the moment you second guessed yourself. Chit happens man. Take the loss and get back in shape so you can get back to high confidence levels.
    Whoa, wait a second. When did I say the girl that ghosted me was trash?

    Im not getting defensive trying to save face, if I wanted to save face I would never have made this thread in the first place.

    Some poster called me out for being beta and/or not having game, that’s what I’m defending.

    If I was beta and/or didn’t have game, the girl wouldn’t have asked to make plans in the first place.

    I made a mistake stalling but it is what it is, I never said the girl was trash. That’s weak.

    I don’t believe I said anything negative about this girl.
    Last edited by TugOfPeace; 09-01-2020 at 01:44 PM.
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  4. #34
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    Originally Posted by homersexual View Post
    I remember one girl in particular had let me see her inbox -- that was the first time I really understood the true dynamics of OLD between men and women. She even said she was very busy with work thus very picky so she only filtered about 100 guys per week to respond to and from those conversations she would continue dialogue with 4-5 and choose 2 to meet each week. I was fresh out of a long term relationship (pre-OLD apps) and that was the very moment I realized I was in a whole new world. Misc was right all along. If she's not responsive then that just means a better option came along. It's truly a numbers game with minimal emotions at play.
    Lmao. Holy fuk. I always knew women had options, but filtering through 100/week? Wowww

    2 dates a week.. 730 dates a year.. and you wonder why they end up 30 and single. Too much choice + innate indecisiveness, no wonder..
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  5. #35
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    Originally Posted by TugOfPeace View Post
    Whoa, wait a second. When did I say the girl that ghosted me was trash?

    Im not getting defensive trying to save face, if I wanted to save face I would never have made this thread in the first place.

    Some poster called me out for being beta and/or not having game, that’s what I’m defending.

    If I was beta and/or didn’t have game, the girl wouldn’t have asked to make plans in the first place.

    I made a mistake stalling but it is what it is, I never said the girl was trash. That’s weak.

    I don’t believe I said anything negative about this girl.
    You might not be beta over all, but you are acting beta. Trying to postpone a date for being out of shape and thinking in 3 weeks you'll magically look so much better is the softest chit I've heard. Getting defensive when people criticize you is beta.

    Making posts wondering why girls are ghosting is beta. It's like you just discovered tinder in 2014. We've been ghosting chicks and have BEEN ghosted by chicks 1000 times since MySpace and Facebook days bro. It happens.
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  6. #36
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    I think making this thread implies some negativity towards her (ie cold and heartless for next-ing you so fast) but my bad if I assumed you explicitly said anything about her and you didn't.

    The humble thing to do would've been to make an update in the other thread about how you missed your chance and she has appeared to move on. If you'd been in a place where you felt better about yourself, you likely wouldn't have stalled and rather taken the initiative to meet up.

    I'd also say if she suggested meeting up and you were busy, you should've set a specific date the following week to meet up, thus making her feel like meeting her was a priority to you and not just an option.

    Small chance she replies to you still though and is just thinking things over and giving you the same treatment you gave her.
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  7. #37
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    Originally Posted by DBoyDaRealest View Post
    You might not be beta over all, but you are acting beta. Trying to postpone a date for being out of shape and thinking in 3 weeks you'll magically look so much better is the softest chit I've heard. Getting defensive when people criticize you is beta.

    Making posts wondering why girls are ghosting is beta. It's like you just discovered tinder in 2014. We've been ghosting chicks and have BEEN ghosted by chicks 1000 times since MySpace and Facebook days bro. It happens.
    I lose about 12lbs in 3 weeks on a decent PSMF. That takes me down to the low teens in bodyfat. Believe it or not, it makes a huge difference in my face.

    I don't look at life in terms of alpha/beta, I just live it. I made the thread because, being completely honest, I've never been ghosted in this manner. Any time a girl and I have this level of rapport, we've met, even if it took a while. That is what surprises me.

    Getting defensive when people criticize you is not weak behavior, it's called standing up for yourself.

    Originally Posted by skinnyfat88 View Post
    I think making this thread implies some negativity towards her (ie cold and heartless for next-ing you so fast) but my bad if I assumed you explicitly said anything about her and you didn't.

    The humble thing to do would've been to make an update in the other thread about how you missed your chance and she has appeared to move on. If you'd been in a place where you felt better about yourself, you likely wouldn't have stalled and rather taken the initiative to meet up.

    I'd also say if she suggested meeting up and you were busy, you should've set a specific date the following week to meet up, thus making her feel like meeting her was a priority to you and not just an option.

    Small chance she replies to you still though and is just thinking things over and giving you the same treatment you gave her.
    I think out of any post in this thread, this one has cleared things up completely. I looked back at what I told the girl; she asked me if I had plans for the weekend, I said yea, and then countered and asked whether weekdays or weekends are preferable for her. It implied that I had the intent of making plans, but I didn't actually make any plans, or even give a hard date on when I would make the plans. She told me when she would be available and a few texts later, stopped responding (I perceived it as not wanting to take my time away from my sibling).

    She probably, exactly as you said, felt that she was an option, or that I had no intent of meeting her. A guy who's actively seeing numerous women would have said the same exact thing, so she probably thought I might have been one of them, or that I didn't plan to meet. Hence, the ghosting.

    Fuark.

    I was aware of what I was doing when I sent that response (being vague, despite giving her a legitimate excuse), showing intent to meet in the future, but was not aware of how it came off.

    That girl's a smart one.
    Last edited by TugOfPeace; 09-01-2020 at 02:46 PM.
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  8. #38
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    thats not even ghosting, thats flaking, and yes it happens to everyone. It means she found someone else she would rather go out with
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  9. #39
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    got to strike while the iron is hot my man and meet up during that sunday-thursday period. Lesson learnt
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  10. #40
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    Originally Posted by TugOfPeace View Post
    This girl messaged me on Hinge on Sunday last week. I'd say for an Indian girl, she's a 8. As an Indian guy, I'm probably in the same range. Anyways, she messaged me first, we had some great conversation back and forth from Sunday to Thursday. Thursday, she asks if I have any weekend plans. I tell her my brother is coming up to visit, and ask if she's free next week. Yada yada we chat a little bit more, then she leaves me on read Thursday night. I was cool with that, figured she was socially intelligent and didn't want to take away time from my brother that weekend.

    I text her today, no response.

    At no point in our conversation was I beta, no neediness at all, nothing, but holy fuk. She's like 3 miles away in the city.

    She did mention she was super busy with school + work, but she was texting me all throughout the day last week.

    Is it this easy to get ghosted? They go cold THAT quickly?
    chad swooped her up since u didnt . rip
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  11. #41
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    Originally Posted by BlackScorpio91 View Post
    I have to agree with this.

    Plus it could be they either got cold feet (might not have anything to do with you but more to do with them) or maybe their ex bf or some other guy came into the picture.

    Every guy is gonna get ghosted or flaked on whether it's online or irl, EVERY guy. Yes it does suck but it is what it is. It's a numbers game so it's best to just keep on trying.

    And yes even good looking guys get ghosted and flaked on so please no "But Chad and Tyrone get all the bitches".
    Pretty sure a 6’5 with 9/10 face and high status won’t ever get ghosted
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  12. #42
    **** Love, I Want Cash. BlackScorpio91's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by alphatan View Post
    Pretty sure a 6’5 with 9/10 face and high status won’t ever get ghosted
    Of course he would...for someone who's more appealing than him in some way.
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  13. #43
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    Originally Posted by TugOfPeace View Post


    I think out of any post in this thread, this one has cleared things up completely. I looked back at what I told the girl; she asked me if I had plans for the weekend, I said yea, and then countered and asked whether weekdays or weekends are preferable for her. It implied that I had the intent of making plans, but I didn't actually make any plans, or even give a hard date on when I would make the plans. She told me when she would be available and a few texts later, stopped responding (I perceived it as not wanting to take my time away from my sibling).

    She probably, exactly as you said, felt that she was an option, or that I had no intent of meeting her. A guy who's actively seeing numerous women would have said the same exact thing, so she probably thought I might have been one of them, or that I didn't plan to meet. Hence, the ghosting.

    Fuark.

    I was aware of what I was doing when I sent that response (being vague, despite giving her a legitimate excuse), showing intent to meet in the future, but was not aware of how it came off.

    That girl's a smart one.
    dude. you don't and didn't owe her anything. why shouldn't you be a guy who is dating other people? she should be an option to you up until that point you become exclusive. fully srs. and even then you need to keep her on her toes.
    if you're high value that's exactly what you WOULD be doing. that's intrinsically known and a girl isn't gonna ghost you for that, in fact she'll respect you more for it. as much as she will protest to the contrary


    over analysis of this kind isn't necessary. girls do this. i've experienced it, i think almost everyone has. that's just life in the current dating market. from what you've said, i can't see anything you did wrong unless it was the subtle nuances in the way you spoke to her she didn't like. but you were saying she was responsive, so i can't see it being that.

    she could have just been looking for some action that weekend, and you weren't available for her. it could really be that simple and now she can't be bothered anymore.
    it really doesn't sound like anything youve done, and you not making concrete plans with her shouldn't cause her to ghost you. don't lower your value - own it, and own your plans and your schedule. stop making excuses for her poor behaviour

    all of this said, neither of you owe each other anything. common courtesy is massively lacking in 2020. it is what it is. but you've never even met, whatever it is she perceived you did (or she just found someone she likes more) that's what happens in this day and age. just don't doubt yourself is what im saying
    Last edited by smashedurgfx10; 09-06-2020 at 05:05 AM.
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  14. #44
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    Originally Posted by smashedurgfx10 View Post
    dude. you don't and didn't owe her anything. why shouldn't you be a guy who is dating other people? she should be an option to you up until that point you become exclusive. fully srs. and even then you need to keep her on her toes.
    if you're high value that's exactly what you WOULD be doing. that's intrinsically known and a girl isn't gonna ghost you for that, in fact she'll respect you more for it. as much as she will protest to the contrary


    over analysis of this kind isn't necessary. girls do this. i've experienced it, i think almost everyone has. that's just life in the current dating market. from what you've said, i can't see anything you did wrong unless it was the subtle nuances in the way you spoke to her she didn't like. but you were saying she was responsive, so i can't see it being that.

    she could have just been looking for some action that weekend, and you weren't available for her. it could really be that simple and now she can't be bothered anymore.
    it really doesn't sound like anything youve done, and you not making concrete plans with her shouldn't cause her to ghost you. don't lower your value - own it, and own your plans and your schedule. stop making excuses for her poor behaviour

    all of this said, neither of you owe each other anything. common courtesy is massively lacking in 2020. it is what it is. but you've never even met, whatever it is she perceived you did (or she just found someone she likes more) that's what happens in this day and age. just don't doubt yourself is what im saying
    Wouldn't surprise me if she was looking for a hookup. She mentioned drinking in her bio and we talked about alcohol quite a bit. She's out of town now based on her location so who knows.

    Strike while the iron is hot.. could never be more true in this case.

    I'm convinced I did everything right, making myself available at the drop of a hat just because she wants to meet is kind of a sucker's move. I showed no beta characteristics or neediness at all, literally played it as well as a guy could. Either she wanted to hookup that weekend or a better guy slipped into her DMs.


    Only reason I'm responding is in response to you btw.
    Last edited by TugOfPeace; 09-06-2020 at 05:07 PM.
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    Originally Posted by TugOfPeace View Post

    I'm convinced I did everything right.
    I feel like the two threads you made about this girl proves you didn't. If you were that confident you wouldn't have needed to ask the misc about it.

    But maybe it wouldn't have mattered anyways. You'll never know.
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    Originally Posted by skinnyfat88 View Post
    I feel like the two threads you made about this girl proves you didn't. If you were that confident you wouldn't have needed to ask the misc about it.

    But maybe it wouldn't have mattered anyways. You'll never know.
    absolutely right brah, you've convinced me i'm a beta cuck. gonna go LDAR now and fap with my tears as lube
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    Originally Posted by TugOfPeace View Post
    Wtf. I felt like I really vibed with this chick. How the heck do they just drop stuff so quickly?

    And to think, I've been texting a girl in Scotland who seems pretty keen on knowing me, as well as NJ.. and I'm in Illinois

    Is it pretty much the idea that with online dating, you have to act fast otherwise they lose interest? You can't take your time? Either that or be better than all her other options?
    That’s incredibly frustrating, and disrespectful imo.

    It blows our mind, but we aren’t women. To us men it’s a complete mindfuk waste of time, but to women it’s a win - she got an endorphine rush from the attention, and then moved onto the other 50 active chats.

    The game is rigged, and like another poster suggested you must always just assume they will ghost at any point, then invest your own time accordingly.
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    Originally Posted by homersexual View Post
    I remember one girl in particular had let me see her inbox -- that was the first time I really understood the true dynamics of OLD between men and women. She even said she was very busy with work thus very picky so she only filtered about 100 guys per week to respond to and from those conversations she would continue dialogue with 4-5 and choose 2 to meet each week. I was fresh out of a long term relationship (pre-OLD apps) and that was the very moment I realized I was in a whole new world. Misc was right all along. If she's not responsive then that just means a better option came along. It's truly a numbers game with minimal emotions at play.
    Yup, I’ve seen their apps too. To even make it to the first date with a cute chick, you’re doing really really well.

    It’s truly comical when women act like they’re players, and not sluts.

    We’re literally not playing the same game. And it isn’t 80/20 rule, it’s closer to 95/5.
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    Originally Posted by TugOfPeace View Post

    2 dates a week.. 730 dates a year..
    wut?
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    Retired at 42 wave_length's Avatar
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    OP, have you ever tried this? Is it still a thing?

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    Originally Posted by wave_length View Post
    OP, have you ever tried this? Is it still a thing?

    im unsure as to how real that show really is

    one of the guys is an absolute incel but rich AF - because of that his family has proposals all the time for cute girls and he keeps saying no

    another guy (the fat american dude) is the epitome of a blue pilled beta phaggot. it just seems like another reality TV show for me with all different personalities together

    one of the girls is a model, came runner up in miss (whatever state she is from) - yet she needs a matchmaker to find her a date? what?
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  23. #53
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    Originally Posted by TugOfPeace View Post
    absolutely right brah, you've convinced me i'm a beta cuck. gonna go LDAR now and fap with my tears as lube
    What's so hard to admit about making a mistake once in a while?

    You obviously do fine in general. It was clear you weren't in your usual/most confident state of mind when you made the other thread thus success was less likely from the get go.
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    Originally Posted by TugOfPeace View Post
    This girl messaged me on Hinge on Sunday last week. I'd say for an Indian girl, she's a 8. As an Indian guy, I'm probably in the same range. Anyways, she messaged me first, we had some great conversation back and forth from Sunday to Thursday. Thursday, she asks if I have any weekend plans. I tell her my brother is coming up to visit, and ask if she's free next week. Yada yada we chat a little bit more, then she leaves me on read Thursday night. I was cool with that, figured she was socially intelligent and didn't want to take away time from my brother that weekend.

    I text her today, no response.

    At no point in our conversation was I beta, no neediness at all, nothing, but holy fuk. She's like 3 miles away in the city.

    She did mention she was super busy with school + work, but she was texting me all throughout the day last week.

    Is it this easy to get ghosted? They go cold THAT quickly?
    As bad as it is from my experience writing very limited messages is the way to go,whenever you give a bit of attention they stop caring,also get to the point of meeting up,if they aren't keen they are prob just using you for there ego/attention
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    Same happened to me last week brah. Vibing with a young lady. Even slept over and didn't push further when she said no. Sent her some pictures from my job of bloody towels from a trauma. Then she just flipped her ish. Totally disappeared from sight. Called and got a "I'll call back, getting tatoo'd". Nothing since last week.

    I understand this happens. Just baffles me how they can completely negate history of before. I.e. the dates, the convos, laughs, connection on certain topics etc etc. Stuff is really crazy when one thinks about it. I did push back on her mention of the "wage gap" before the ghosting happened. Maybe that was the catalyst? Fkn lel.

    To wrap up op: They are not meant to be understood, just accepted.
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    Originally Posted by Lastrepbrah View Post
    Same happened to me last week brah. Vibing with a young lady. Even slept over and didn't push further when she said no. Sent her some pictures from my job of bloody towels from a trauma. Then she just flipped her ish. Totally disappeared from sight. Called and got a "I'll call back, getting tatoo'd". Nothing since last week.

    I understand this happens. Just baffles me how they can completely negate history of before. I.e. the dates, the convos, laughs, connection on certain topics etc etc. Stuff is really crazy when one thinks about it. I did push back on her mention of the "wage gap" before the ghosting happened. Maybe that was the catalyst? Fkn lel.

    To wrap up op: They are not meant to be understood, just accepted.
    Whilst I understand your point, sending bloody towels pics even if they're from your job isnt gonna get the pussy wet

    You gotta filter what you send with girls. Cant just send em any sh*t like you would one of the bros
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  27. #57
    Sry babe no cardio sloppyjoe1's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Luc1fer View Post
    That’s incredibly frustrating, and disrespectful imo.

    It blows our mind, but we aren’t women. To us men it’s a complete mindfuk waste of time, but to women it’s a win - she got an endorphine rush from the attention, and then moved onto the other 50 active chats.

    The game is rigged, and like another poster suggested you must always just assume they will ghost at any point, then invest your own time accordingly.
    Two of the greatest strengths a man can have is indifference & solitude. If men could control their emotions and their urges, they wouldn't put up with the endless amount of BS that women throw at you. Solitude for being comfortable with being alone, having more important things to do that are rewarding.
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    Originally Posted by smashedurgfx10 View Post
    Whilst I understand your point, sending bloody towels pics even if they're from your job isnt gonna get the pussy wet

    You gotta filter what you send with girls. Cant just send em any sh*t like you would one of the bros
    Yeah that's what I realized. I just really enjoy the trauma aspect of my job. So I Thought I'd share what I experience as she shared me screens of her work. Then she became condescending IMO with a "I told you I don't like that". I responded telling her I honestly forgot. Which I did since we talked about a wide range of topics that night and the next day when we woke up. We got along well from what I gathered. Just strange that that's all disappearing takes. I want to reach out again, but I don't think doing would help anything. Even talked about going to the Renaissance Festival together. Oh well
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  29. #59
    **** Love, I Want Cash. BlackScorpio91's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by sloppyjoe1 View Post
    Two of the greatest strengths a man can have is indifference & solitude. If men could control their emotions and their urges, they wouldn't put up with the endless amount of BS that women throw at you. Solitude for being comfortable with being alone, having more important things to do that are rewarding.
    Exactly.

    You can't let women disrespect you like flaking or ghosting or telling you "I think we should talk more on here" while she's meeting another guy on the same day.

    I used to give women a second chance if they were to flake if they seemed to flake for a valid reason and they apologized and wanted to reschedule and if she flaked a second time or just ghosted, I just charged them to the game as in I deleted their number and unmatch them if we met on a dating app and act like they never existed.

    Over a period of months, I've been gradually getting to the point if a woman were to flake and even if she gave a valid excuse and offered to reschedule, I automatically charge her to the game anyway.

    Yes it can be frustrating and annoying but the best thing to do is to just move on and find other women instead of giving these women all these chances. Dwelling on it will just make you more bitter and angry and if a woman is disrespecting you like that, it's best to just ignore the fuk out of her if you see her in public and act like she never existed.

    I know women get flaked on too but not nearly as much as us guys but it's still fukery for everyone.
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  30. #60
    Sry babe no cardio sloppyjoe1's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by BlackScorpio91 View Post
    Exactly.

    You can't let women disrespect you like flaking or ghosting or telling you "I think we should talk more on here" while she's meeting another guy on the same day.

    I used to give women a second chance if they were to flake if they seemed to flake for a valid reason and they apologized and wanted to reschedule and if she flaked a second time or just ghosted, I just charged them to the game as in I deleted their number and unmatch them if we met on a dating app and act like they never existed.

    Over a period of months, I've been gradually getting to the point if a woman were to flake and even if she gave a valid excuse and offered to reschedule, I automatically charge her to the game anyway.

    Yes it can be frustrating and annoying but the best thing to do is to just move on and find other women instead of giving these women all these chances. Dwelling on it will just make you more bitter and angry and if a woman is disrespecting you like that, it's best to just ignore the fuk out of her if you see her in public and act like she never existed.

    I know women get flaked on too but not nearly as much as us guys but it's still fukery for everyone.
    And we don't even know if a valid excuse is really valid, we're just giving the benefit of the doubt. In reality most excuses in these situations are probably not valid. If someone plans on doing something and wants to do it, they will. People will show you what their priorities are and it's up to you to act accordingly. Most younger women are glued to their phones not doing much these days so I really don't know what excuse they would have anyways?
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