My Brother in law is scheduled to be removed from life support pending some legal/admin bs. Do I send flowers now or do I wait?
Sorry to be a bummer but I am genuinely clueless and something tells me sending flowers while he still lives is somehow wrong?
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Results 1 to 15 of 15
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02-20-2024, 08:48 AM #1Registered User
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Weird etiquitte situation, please sound off.
RWGFY
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02-20-2024, 09:00 AM #2High Plains Lifter
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Sincere condolences. Just my opinion, wait.
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02-20-2024, 09:02 AM #3Registered User
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ThanksOriginally Posted by Mark1T
RWGFY
"I'd rather go down the river with seven studs than with a hundred shytheads"
- COL Charles Beckwith
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02-20-2024, 09:58 AM #4maybenotabot
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I'm with Mark although maybe consider sending a fine bottle of spirits now.
Deep condolences at this somber time, brother.
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02-20-2024, 10:04 AM #5Master Roshi
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Sorry to hear the news.
I would think the flowers would be in his memory, and since he still lives, possibly inappropriate. I would wait, personally.
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02-20-2024, 10:58 AM #6Registered User
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No flowers now, tbh flowers later isn't that important either. Be emotionally supportive of your sister and her family both now and later.
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02-20-2024, 11:03 AM #7Registered User
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Wait until the funeral arrangements are done. Usually the surviving members of the family say something like "No flowers but donations in lieu to some sort of charity (that they name) in his honor would be appreciated."
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02-20-2024, 11:15 AM #8Registered User
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This is a tough situation all-around. I’m experiencing something similar with a family-member in a very terminal situation. Despite the inevitable outlook, I refuse to speak about them as if they’re already deceased.
Out of sheer respect, or the potential for a miracle to take hold, I will not cast them aside while they’re still living.
So hold off on any flowers, imoLast edited by Kylehero; 02-20-2024 at 12:44 PM.
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02-20-2024, 12:55 PM #9Registered User
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I sent Chinese food. Delivered every day at 4pm for the next 3 days. Enough for them to eat it every meal for a week.
RWGFY
"I'd rather go down the river with seven studs than with a hundred shytheads"
- COL Charles Beckwith
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02-20-2024, 01:25 PM #10Registered User
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I would not send anything. Just let your brother/sister know you're there for them. Just listen and don't offer any advice. People sometimes think they need to find the right words and you never will. Just be a good listener.
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02-20-2024, 01:45 PM #11Crawling back under rock
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Condolences, sad to hear about your B.I.L.
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02-20-2024, 01:58 PM #12I lift therefore I am
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Sorry to hear this. I think the most important thing is to let family know you are there for them during these tough days.
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02-21-2024, 12:49 AM #13I'm a Swifty Now
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Dang, sorry to hear this man.
Condolences, I think waiting would be best and I also think that you ordering Chinese food for them was amazing. Very nice touch. Well done. All the best to everyone during this difficult time.Air Force Veteran 1976 - 1999 - Cannabis Enthusiast since the 1960's
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02-21-2024, 04:47 PM #14Jacques Rhott
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Sad situation, but IMO flowers are for the family.Originally Posted by eomrat
So... "send it.""Do you think SHE actually felt like that was a sexual thing he was doing? She's like 6. Only an actual p3do would think that she thought he was groping her, too."
"Not that it's impossible to touch a minor inappropriately, but it is true that a 6 year old girl will not recognize someone putting a hand on their chest as groping, whether it is inappropriate or not."
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https://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=182007113&p=1671975503#post1671975503
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02-22-2024, 08:28 AM #15Registered User
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Don't know that I have any advice, but I had a friend/colleague who was battling cancer and kept us updated. Then last month he said there was nothing more they can do and they were putting him into hospice care. What do you say? I think I just said "I'm so sorry". We all had to figure out a way to say "sucks that you're going to die, you've been awesome". So awkward. And then he did pass away a couple weeks ago.
My brother is a pastor who does lots of funerals. He somehow became the on-call pastor for those who don't actually have a church. He says he can make a long list of stupid things people say at funerals. Everybody feels awkward and doesn't know what to say. About all you can say is "I'm sorry" or say something nice about the deceased. Instead people try to say something inspiring or that downplays the death and they say something exceedingly stupid and painful like "at least you have other children" or something.
Again, no advice, but I get the discomfort of the situation.
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