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  1. #1
    Registered User Itsoverboyosx's Avatar
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    Dating older woman, other stuff

    So I met this woman on Tinder, for starters I am early 20s and she is her early 30s. I genuinely like her and we have been on 7 dates already, within the timespan of 3 weeks. We have had sex and all, but it's definitely not been the type of situation where like from the start there was talk about sex and that has always been the main component or anything, like we actively go on dates and all that stuff. First of all I was wondering, regardless of what she has personally said about this situation, do you think it's likely that a woman in her early 30s is actually taking me serious in terms of dating? Or do you think that she in reality just sees this as something casual? I have brought up in the past on here that I even dislike getting anywhere near this stage to begin with, because I get super attached to begin with, even more so when we have actually had sex for the first time.

    Secondly, how would I go about bringing up if she has been seeing other people at the same time? This is another thing that would make me super sad, and something which I realize myself isn't fair. I honestly do not like dating nor casual sex, even though I have a super high sex drive, just because of what I mentioned earlier with me getting very attached, very fast, same goes for dating. I have never dated more than one person at a time, but I realize that people now are dating a lot of people at the same time, and it's just something I don't feel comfortable with, since I like focusing on one person at a time.

    I have had situations in the past, where a few dates in I find out that she has been seeing someone else at the same time without mention it, and it hurts me so much and makes me lose complete interest, obviously this is not something I actually ever end up bringing up, and when I mention that I become attached I don't mean like in some super weird way, but more so that I become way more talkative, think about said person more during the day, and my overall happiness level goes from like 40% to 99%. So yeah, basically my other question is just how I would go about asking if she has been seeing someone during this time? Would it be fine to just ask this question straight up?

    Also I really I may sound insecure from what I am saying, but it's a problem which I have had since I have been young and actively have been trying to fix without any results.
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  2. #2
    ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) AdikinBawls's Avatar
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    What are your exact ages ffs? If it's 21 and 33 for example, no she's not taking you seriously. If it's 24 and 30, then she might, yes.

    Pretty much only read the first paragraph btw, I couldn't get myself to read the rest of that drivel.
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  3. #3
    Registered User Itsoverboyosx's Avatar
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    I am 23 and she is 33
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    ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) AdikinBawls's Avatar
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    Ok, then do you have a good job? Your own place and car? If yes to all those things, then maybe. But I'd think that 10 years is too much of an age difference for her to want you in a serious relationship. You need to just go with the flow, enjoy it while it lasts, and not worry so much when it ends. You're too young to be worried about a serious relationship right now, especially with a 33 year old. I mean, just imagine, in seven years you'll be in your prime and she'll be 40. Do you really want that?
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  5. #5
    Registered User Itsoverboyosx's Avatar
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    Itsoverboyosx is offline
    Originally Posted by AdikinBawls View Post
    Ok, then do you have a good job? Your own place and car? If yes to all those things, then maybe. But I'd think that 10 years is too much of an age difference for her to want you in a serious relationship. You need to just go with the flow, enjoy it while it lasts, and not worry so much when it ends. You're too young to be worried about a serious relationship right now, especially with a 33 year old. I mean, just imagine, in seven years you'll be in your prime and she'll be 40. Do you really want that?
    I got a job and my own place. I don't have a car, but having a car is not really an important aspect in Sweden as it seems to be in America, in regards to dating. I don't even have a driver's license. I see what you are saying though. I wish I could be fine with just going with the flow, but I just don't work like that, which I sort of mentioned. I just get very attached and start imaginging future and such, very early on.
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  6. #6
    Registered User AceRok's Avatar
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    1. You need to figure out what kind of relationship (not just with this girl) you want and are prepared for, because it sounds like you want something serious but are afraid of commitment (commitment of your feelings to one person and risking it, is also commitment). Which makes sense that you have commitment issues at your age.

    2. Because you don't know what you want, it doesn't really sound like you lead the conversation in any of the dates in a way that allows you to gauge what she wants and let her know what you want.

    3. Maybe pickings for men are slim in Sweden. If so, she may actually want you for something serious, but here in the US if a woman her age put the age range that low she is either desperate or just wants a fling.

    4. Maybe dating apps are limited in Sweden, but here in the US Tinder tends to be more for casual relationships vs other dating apps. I'm not sure if her profile said anything about what she was looking for and what yours said.

    5. Don't bring any of this stuff up. It is way too late for that. You need to see where she takes the conversations and if she brings up things that gives you clues that she wants something serious. She has to be the one to bring up the topic of being exclusive.
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  7. #7
    Registered User MrMummyou's Avatar
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    Why dating post wall 33 year old women who is a DECADE older than you when you can **** girls your own age which are way hotter and can potientially be serious relathionship,trust me in ten years you will be at your peak sexual market place value and she'll be a 43 yeard old women.
    think for yourself what to do and you know the answer.
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  8. #8
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    better to find one that doesn't need it

    Originally Posted by Itsoverboyosx View Post
    So I met this woman on Tinder, for starters I am early 20s and she is her early 30s. I genuinely like her and we have been on 7 dates already, within the timespan of 3 weeks. We have had sex and all, but it's definitely not been the type of situation where like from the start there was talk about sex and that has always been the main component or anything, like we actively go on dates and all that stuff. First of all I was wondering, regardless of what she has personally said about this situation, do you think it's likely that a woman in her early 30s is actually taking me serious in terms of dating? Or do you think that she in reality just sees this as something casual? I have brought up in the past on here that I even dislike getting anywhere near this stage to begin with, because I get super attached to begin with, even more so when we have actually had sex for the first time.

    Secondly, how would I go about bringing up if she has been seeing other people at the same time? This is another thing that would make me super sad, and something which I realize myself isn't fair. I honestly do not like dating nor casual sex, even though I have a super high sex drive, just because of what I mentioned earlier with me getting very attached, very fast, same goes for dating. I have never dated more than one person at a time, but I realize that people now are dating a lot of people at the same time, and it's just something I don't feel comfortable with, since I like focusing on one person at a time.

    I have had situations in the past, where a few dates in I find out that she has been seeing someone else at the same time without mention it, and it hurts me so much and makes me lose complete interest, obviously this is not something I actually ever end up bringing up, and when I mention that I become attached I don't mean like in some super weird way, but more so that I become way more talkative, think about said person more during the day, and my overall happiness level goes from like 40% to 99%. So yeah, basically my other question is just how I would go about asking if she has been seeing someone during this time? Would it be fine to just ask this question straight up?

    Also I really I may sound insecure from what I am saying, but it's a problem which I have had since I have been young and actively have been trying to fix without any results.
    Neah, I just choose women that i already like.
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  9. #9
    Registered User DustinTheHuss's Avatar
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    You probably like her because she's more mature than girls your age and has her chit together.

    Just keep going with the flow and see how it goes. There's no need to bring up being exclusive yet.
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