Happily married brahs? Any Wedding regrets or pro-tips to share?

[Drew23]

So how did you guys decide on a guest list for those with a small wedding?

I’m not a wedding person, and every time I think about having to have one one day... it stresses me out. Most of the stress is I don’t want anything bigger than 80-100 (it will be my day, I want to know everyone that is there, and know them well enough to not be annoyed if they get **** faced drunk). But I’m Asian so immediate aunts uncles and their kids alone for just my side is like 100 already.

Did you have to invite some relatives but not all? How did that work out when they found out their sister is invited but they’re not?

You pretty much have to draw a line and say, immediate family but no cousins at all. Otherwise, your best bet is to keep it very small, fewer than 25 people and just your best friends, parents, grandparents and siblings.

[stevebec]

Kind of sorry it was so remote (Tuvalu) so almost none of my friends or family from the US could attend, but really no way around that since my wife was from there and I was living there at the time, so it would have been a long trip for somebody, no matter where we did it. My parents did host a reception for us when we got to the US, so people who couldn't make it to the wedding could come. Other than that, it was a hell of a party and everyone had a great time.

Second waiting a while to have kids. We waited a year, but that had her getting pregnant right after we got back to the US, so she was adjusting to the US while on pregnancy hormones, which was no fun for either of us.

[Aristotelian]

So how did you guys decide on a guest list for those with a small wedding?

I’m not a wedding person, and every time I think about having to have one one day... it stresses me out. Most of the stress is I don’t want anything bigger than 80-100 (it will be my day, I want to know everyone that is there, and know them well enough to not be annoyed if they get **** faced drunk). But I’m Asian so immediate aunts uncles and their kids alone for just my side is like 100 already.

Did you have to invite some relatives but not all? How did that work out when they found out their sister is invited but they’re not?

Honestly, I wanted a guest list of 300, it is in my "culture" to have large-ish weddings. But for my wife this was anathema. I didn't get her point at the beginning but, if you see how I described our wedding in post 9 ITT I have no regrets. It was so intimate. All the guests talking to each other, playing games, dancing, or outside, everyone from around the world just having a blast in the environment we created.

How we got there? It was hard for her to convince me, but then I realized just how "not fun" weddings with 400 guests and the like are. I have been to too many like that, and feel sorry for the bride usually. She sold me on the "small & intimate" idea (50 people or so max) and then we picked the proper setting for it...I'd recommend smaller weddings over larger ones to anyone.

[jamalfudge]

So how did you guys decide on a guest list for those with a small wedding?

I’m not a wedding person, and every time I think about having to have one one day... it stresses me out. Most of the stress is I don’t want anything bigger than 80-100 (it will be my day, I want to know everyone that is there, and know them well enough to not be annoyed if they get **** faced drunk). But I’m Asian so immediate aunts uncles and their kids alone for just my side is like 100 already.

Did you have to invite some relatives but not all? How did that work out when they found out their sister is invited but they’re not?

We sent invitations to everyone we could think of knowing we wouldn't get a lot of attendees. But my sister had her wedding on the beach and was very specific in limiting her invitees to mainly immediate relatives. More than one way to go about it.

[bigcat3655]

No regerts.

17 years now. Tiny cheap wedding in my wife's grandparents garden. Broke college kid maturing my high school sweetheart who had graduated one month prior. Left two nights later to move a few states away for a job.

I think one of the reasons it's worked us that we built everything we have together. Neither of us had jack chit.

Her grandma died last week so all of our wedding pics in her grandma's garden are nice memories

[Silencespeaks]

So how did you guys decide on a guest list for those with a small wedding?

I’m not a wedding person, and every time I think about having to have one one day... it stresses me out. Most of the stress is I don’t want anything bigger than 80-100 (it will be my day, I want to know everyone that is there, and know them well enough to not be annoyed if they get **** faced drunk). But I’m Asian so immediate aunts uncles and their kids alone for just my side is like 100 already.

Did you have to invite some relatives but not all? How did that work out when they found out their sister is invited but they’re not?

Yeah I think you have to draw the line according to degree of relation. Like only invite your parents and siblings. No extended family beyond that.

If you cherry pick which aunts to include that is not going to go over well lol.

[JUGGERNAUT1333]

Don't blow a ton of money. We originally had a big event planned which would have costed a fair amount of money. (actual wedding venue, open bar, inviting friends/family we have seen like once in the last 10 years). My mom ended up passing away 9 months or so before we planned to marry. Really change our outlook. We cancelled the big venue and cut our guest list down to close family and people we actually talk to regularly. Did an outdoor wedding at a close friend of mine's lake house that had a party deck. Had it catered, photographer, ect.

Total ended up costing a little over 5K. Easily the best decision we ever made. Had a great day.

[I3igAl]

The best center piece is a mirror under a cheap bowl with a beta in it and floating candles.

Relatively low cost and very unique.



(also just divorced after 12 years... lol so can't say I am happily married, but it is still a great choice)

I hope you mean a betta not a beta.

[78novacaine]

I hope you mean a betta not a beta.

Nope. He took actual Miscers, drowned them and used their rotting corpses as decorations for his special day.

[ChelshireCat]

Nope. He took actual Miscers, drowned them and used their rotting corpses as decorations for his special day.

That’s pretty alpha tbf

[Silencespeaks]

Pro tip. Don’t marry her if she’s not happy with just marrying you. If she’s dead set on having some expensive ordeal and huge rock on her finger then it’s prob going to be a very rough go.

Another pro tip. Throughout the marriage communicate. Don’t let things build up inside that will eventually lead to resentment. This also helps her as much as helps you and will keep things mostly level headed.

Pro tip 3. Wait several years before having children. Children bring change and no matter what stage of life your in they will change your relationship. If your marriage isn’t extremely solid it can be a very bad ending because having a child will test your marriage to great lengths.

About to be 18yrs married here.

Yeah I’ve been hearing people say how kids test a marriage and my counselor has said that the vast majority of marital counseling clients are couples in the first year of having a baby.

But I think kids actually strengthen a marriage because both parents are then basically tied down and will be less likely to leave and more likely to work things out. Have been thinking this through and actually regret not having kids to try to save my marriage. Idk maybe it would have worked and then would’ve been worth it.

[IronILLinois]

SS flocks to every marriage thread like flies flock to a pile of dog chit. sad.

[Silencespeaks]

SS flocks to every marriage thread like flies flock to a pile of dog chit. sad.

Yeah because I’m not over my divorce.

Idk if I’ll ever get over it. And I don’t think this is normal btw.

[bench900]

Pro tip: Don't leave for your honeymoon the morning after your wedding.

Do it the next day after. It was nice to not have to worry about waking up early and making it to the airport the next day. Instead we slept in and got another chance to see some our out of town guests at the brunch or other events. Some of them we've not seen since then in person.

As someone said enjoy the food.

Getting ready to celebrate 19 years later this month!