Should I break up with my gf (30) for being a brat?

[vanballmoos]

Okay so it’s my girlfriends 30th birthday in a few days and unfortunately my grandfather got really sick and my mom wants me to come home just in case he passes away. She’s back in the office full time so she can’t come with me.

A little backstory, admittedly I haven’t been the best boyfriend. I’ll just get angry and shut down and won’t talk to her for weeks. Well I did this about a month ago. She called me to ask what sides she should bring to dinner. I don’t know why but I just thought she had attitude so I just hung up on her and didn’t talk to her for about 3 weeks. I contacted her last week and I was asking her what she wanted for her birthday. Then I found out I would be missing her birthday because of my grandfather. I left yesterday morning to go be with my family (they live several states away). Before I left she said, “you haven’t put any thought into my birthday have you? You’re asking me what I want days before so like everything else you just haven’t put in any effort.” I told her I couldn’t help that I can’t be here to which she replied, “she said it’s not that, you have to be with your family so you can’t help that. It’s that you disappeared for weeks so I expected you to have put in a lot of effort and if you’re asking me days before what I want that means you haven’t thought about this. It’s about effort.”

She called me later to apologize saying that she’s harboring a lot of resentment but she shouldn’t have brought it up because I should be focusing on being with my family right now.

I respect the apology but she was just a brat for getting upset about her birthday when I have someone that I care about dying. It was incredibly selfish. Now it has me questioning how things would be with her long term. Should I be concerned?

[mcboo2]

Okay so it’s my girlfriends 30th birthday in a few days and unfortunately my grandfather got really sick and my mom wants me to come home just in case he passes away. She’s back in the office full time so she can’t come with me.

A little backstory, admittedly I haven’t been the best boyfriend. I’ll just get angry and shut down and won’t talk to her for weeks. Well I did this about a month ago. She called me to ask what sides she should bring to dinner. I don’t know why but I just thought she had attitude so I just hung up on her and didn’t talk to her for about 3 weeks. I contacted her last week and I was asking her what she wanted for her birthday. Then I found out I would be missing her birthday because of my grandfather. I left yesterday morning to go be with my family (they live several states away). Before I left she said, “you haven’t put any thought into my birthday have you? You’re asking me what I want days before so like everything else you just haven’t put in any effort.” I told her I couldn’t help that I can’t be here to which she replied, “she said it’s not that, you have to be with your family so you can’t help that. It’s that you disappeared for weeks so I expected you to have put in a lot of effort and if you’re asking me days before what I want that means you haven’t thought about this. It’s about effort.”

She called me later to apologize saying that she’s harboring a lot of resentment but she shouldn’t have brought it up because I should be focusing on being with my family right now.

I respect the apology but she was just a brat for getting upset about her birthday when I have someone that I care about dying. It was incredibly selfish. Now it has me questioning how things would be with her long term. Should I be concerned?

You aren't BF/GF lol. That or you have an extremely dysfunctional relationship already

[shmobin]

You sound like two loser ass children pretending to be adults.

[skinnyfat88]

A little backstory, admittedly I haven’t been the best boyfriend. I’ll just get angry and shut down and won’t talk to her for weeks. Well I did this about a month ago. She called me to ask what sides she should bring to dinner. I don’t know why but I just thought she had attitude so I just hung up on her and didn’t talk to her for about 3 weeks.

Biggest red flag in the story and it's on you.

Break up with her if you're not feeling it but #1 priority should be changing your toxic habits.

[Zackad]

You sound like two loser ass children pretending to be adults.

this lmao

she seems perfectly in her right to harbor the belief she does, may have been an inopportune time to bring it up considering your family but she's entirely correct.

You sound like the brat in this situation, shutting down communication entirely when you get a little bothered by her.

[drvillain]

she apologized, and was pretty reasonable about why she realized she was irrational. If you don't like her all that much then cut it off, or seek therapy

[jebrooks1988]

this lmao

she seems perfectly in her right to harbor the belief she does, may have been an inopportune time to bring it up considering your family but she's entirely correct.

You sound like the brat in this situation, shutting down communication entirely when you get a little bothered by her.

The fact that she realized it probably wasn’t the best time and apologized for it makes her 1000% not a loser. she handled things much better than a lot people because many would’ve dropped OP.

[Zackad]

The fact that she realized it probably wasn’t the best time and apologized for it makes her 1000% not a loser. she handled things much better than a lot people because many would’ve dropped OP.

yup. she's displaying a level of self awareness a lot of people never even reach.

OP on the other hand...not so much. or even a little bit.

[MrMummyou]

Didn't read lol

[Luc1fer]

I just thought she had attitude so I just hung up on her and didn’t talk to her for about 3 weeks.

....
I respect the apology but she was just a brat for getting upset about her birthday when I have someone that I care about dying. It was incredibly selfish.

wow, you're even lying and contradicting yourself in this post.

You appear to be leveraging your grandfather's situation to take a morally superior position.

[AceRok]

OP, you're an a-hole. End this horrible relationship. Work on your anger management and emotional issues. Srs.

Most women care about special dates (birthdays, anniversaries, valentines, etc) and wanting love an affection from your boyfriend on those dates is not being a brat. 30 is considered a milestone birthday.

A good relationship is based on love, communication and respect. All of which you are strongly lacking and failing to provide.

[LSauce]

I hope your gf finds someone better.

[DanielleGreen]

I hope your gf finds someone better.

This^

[Vertigo5891]

Op is a flog