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  1. #1
    Registered User vanballmoos's Avatar
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    Should I break up with my gf (30) for being a brat?

    Okay so it’s my girlfriends 30th birthday in a few days and unfortunately my grandfather got really sick and my mom wants me to come home just in case he passes away. She’s back in the office full time so she can’t come with me.

    A little backstory, admittedly I haven’t been the best boyfriend. I’ll just get angry and shut down and won’t talk to her for weeks. Well I did this about a month ago. She called me to ask what sides she should bring to dinner. I don’t know why but I just thought she had attitude so I just hung up on her and didn’t talk to her for about 3 weeks. I contacted her last week and I was asking her what she wanted for her birthday. Then I found out I would be missing her birthday because of my grandfather. I left yesterday morning to go be with my family (they live several states away). Before I left she said, “you haven’t put any thought into my birthday have you? You’re asking me what I want days before so like everything else you just haven’t put in any effort.” I told her I couldn’t help that I can’t be here to which she replied, “she said it’s not that, you have to be with your family so you can’t help that. It’s that you disappeared for weeks so I expected you to have put in a lot of effort and if you’re asking me days before what I want that means you haven’t thought about this. It’s about effort.”

    She called me later to apologize saying that she’s harboring a lot of resentment but she shouldn’t have brought it up because I should be focusing on being with my family right now.

    I respect the apology but she was just a brat for getting upset about her birthday when I have someone that I care about dying. It was incredibly selfish. Now it has me questioning how things would be with her long term. Should I be concerned?
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  2. #2
    Registered User mcboo2's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by vanballmoos View Post
    Okay so it’s my girlfriends 30th birthday in a few days and unfortunately my grandfather got really sick and my mom wants me to come home just in case he passes away. She’s back in the office full time so she can’t come with me.

    A little backstory, admittedly I haven’t been the best boyfriend. I’ll just get angry and shut down and won’t talk to her for weeks. Well I did this about a month ago. She called me to ask what sides she should bring to dinner. I don’t know why but I just thought she had attitude so I just hung up on her and didn’t talk to her for about 3 weeks. I contacted her last week and I was asking her what she wanted for her birthday. Then I found out I would be missing her birthday because of my grandfather. I left yesterday morning to go be with my family (they live several states away). Before I left she said, “you haven’t put any thought into my birthday have you? You’re asking me what I want days before so like everything else you just haven’t put in any effort.” I told her I couldn’t help that I can’t be here to which she replied, “she said it’s not that, you have to be with your family so you can’t help that. It’s that you disappeared for weeks so I expected you to have put in a lot of effort and if you’re asking me days before what I want that means you haven’t thought about this. It’s about effort.”

    She called me later to apologize saying that she’s harboring a lot of resentment but she shouldn’t have brought it up because I should be focusing on being with my family right now.

    I respect the apology but she was just a brat for getting upset about her birthday when I have someone that I care about dying. It was incredibly selfish. Now it has me questioning how things would be with her long term. Should I be concerned?

    You aren't BF/GF lol. That or you have an extremely dysfunctional relationship already
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  3. #3
    Registered User shmobin's Avatar
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    You sound like two loser ass children pretending to be adults.
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  4. #4
    Registered User skinnyfat88's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by vanballmoos View Post
    A little backstory, admittedly I haven’t been the best boyfriend. I’ll just get angry and shut down and won’t talk to her for weeks. Well I did this about a month ago. She called me to ask what sides she should bring to dinner. I don’t know why but I just thought she had attitude so I just hung up on her and didn’t talk to her for about 3 weeks.
    Biggest red flag in the story and it's on you.

    Break up with her if you're not feeling it but #1 priority should be changing your toxic habits.
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  5. #5
    Keanu Reeves Checking In Zackad's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by shmobin View Post
    You sound like two loser ass children pretending to be adults.
    this lmao

    she seems perfectly in her right to harbor the belief she does, may have been an inopportune time to bring it up considering your family but she's entirely correct.

    You sound like the brat in this situation, shutting down communication entirely when you get a little bothered by her.
    "So there I am sitting in the waiting area of the hair salon with my niece and Keanu Reeves walks in. I was nervous as ****, but too scared to say anything to him. Then my niece started crying, and I’m trying to quiet her down because I don't want to bother him. Pretty soon he walks over and asks what's wrong. I replied that she was probably hungry. He put down his magazine, picked up my niece, and lifted up his shirt, and breastfed her right there in the salon. Chill guy, really nice about it."
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  6. #6
    Banned drvillain's Avatar
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    she apologized, and was pretty reasonable about why she realized she was irrational. If you don't like her all that much then cut it off, or seek therapy
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  7. #7
    Registered User jebrooks1988's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Zackad View Post
    this lmao

    she seems perfectly in her right to harbor the belief she does, may have been an inopportune time to bring it up considering your family but she's entirely correct.

    You sound like the brat in this situation, shutting down communication entirely when you get a little bothered by her.
    The fact that she realized it probably wasn’t the best time and apologized for it makes her 1000% not a loser. she handled things much better than a lot people because many would’ve dropped OP.
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  8. #8
    Keanu Reeves Checking In Zackad's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by jebrooks1988 View Post
    The fact that she realized it probably wasn’t the best time and apologized for it makes her 1000% not a loser. she handled things much better than a lot people because many would’ve dropped OP.
    yup. she's displaying a level of self awareness a lot of people never even reach.

    OP on the other hand...not so much. or even a little bit.
    "So there I am sitting in the waiting area of the hair salon with my niece and Keanu Reeves walks in. I was nervous as ****, but too scared to say anything to him. Then my niece started crying, and I’m trying to quiet her down because I don't want to bother him. Pretty soon he walks over and asks what's wrong. I replied that she was probably hungry. He put down his magazine, picked up my niece, and lifted up his shirt, and breastfed her right there in the salon. Chill guy, really nice about it."
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  9. #9
    Registered User MrMummyou's Avatar
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    Didn't read lol
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  10. #10
    🅳🅰🆂 🅸🆃 Luc1fer's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by vanballmoos View Post
    I just thought she had attitude so I just hung up on her and didn’t talk to her for about 3 weeks.

    ....
    I respect the apology but she was just a brat for getting upset about her birthday when I have someone that I care about dying. It was incredibly selfish.
    wow, you're even lying and contradicting yourself in this post.

    You appear to be leveraging your grandfather's situation to take a morally superior position.
    𝕮𝖍𝖆𝖘𝖊 𝖆 𝖈𝖍𝖊𝖈𝕶, 𝖓𝖊𝖛𝖊𝖗 𝖈𝖍𝖆𝖘𝖊 𝖆 𝖇𝖎𝖙𝖈𝖍
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  11. #11
    Registered User AceRok's Avatar
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    OP, you're an a-hole. End this horrible relationship. Work on your anger management and emotional issues. Srs.

    Most women care about special dates (birthdays, anniversaries, valentines, etc) and wanting love an affection from your boyfriend on those dates is not being a brat. 30 is considered a milestone birthday.

    A good relationship is based on love, communication and respect. All of which you are strongly lacking and failing to provide.
    Last edited by AceRok; 08-02-2020 at 07:58 AM. Reason: spelling
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  12. #12
    Registered User LSauce's Avatar
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    I hope your gf finds someone better.
    Don’t lift
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  13. #13
    Registered User DanielleGreen's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by LSauce View Post
    I hope your gf finds someone better.
    This^
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  14. #14
    Registered User Vertigo5891's Avatar
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    Op is a flog
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