Anybody else dealing with long term apathy?

[Supaduck0]

I have been apathetic for years now. It started when my Mother died age 14, my school grades went from A to C grade, I never enjoyed socializing, I stopped caring much about anything at all. I did drugs, but I quit that now. I am trying to stop drinking, but underlying that there's definitely a weird apathetic feeling and loss of interest in life. It's not depression; I don't feel sad, just like I've seen beyond life or humanity and haven't got the ability to feel passion or enthusiasm for life. I haven't socialized in over a year, I had one friend up until over a year ago, before that it's been like 7 years since I had a genuine social circle etc.

I would change it but I don't know how; I've tried, the gym and going to social events but on some level everything seems hollow and empty and I feel like this is what life is going to be like and it's unchangeable. Sorry to make a downer post but I'm just curious if anybody else has felt the same vibe.

[hoganrulz]

Yeah, that's depression. You're not uber enlightened. You're depressed.

[orangetide]

Here you thought you were alone but youve been a part of the depression club this entire time

[KathleenRyan]

I know that feel OP. Try to find a friend.

If possible in our current COVID world, find something you enjoy that has a community (IRL) behind it that you can start to engage with. Meet people through common interests.

[eod8989]

I feel the same. I don't socialize with anyone and i have lost my personality and just feel numb all the time. Only time i don't is when i lift or right after or when i fap/drink coffee. I can be in a normal mood and still feel nothing. I can't find a purpose in anything either. How can someone be happy if they don't have any friends, can't have sex, aren't respected at their job etc?

I also feel like i've done everything a million times. There's no way to be happy when you are always alone. There is just nothing to talk about though. Even if i was feeling ****ing amazing there is nothing to talk about browsing the internet and doing my hobbies is the only thing i like.

[Blazenwave]

it is depression, as others have stated.

put yourself out there and you will realize nothing matters, but in a good way. if you embarrass the chit out of yourself, wouldn't it feel good to feel embarrassment? better than feeling nothing.

[RealLifeAlpha]

Try to find something you want to get better at, and progress at it:

-A career / profession
-A hobby / sport
-A relationship (do you want a family someday?)
-Fitness(???)



I know that what really helps me is focusing on achieving goals / milestones. Financial, material, professional, relationships.

Might not work for everyone.

Chin up brah, your whole life can change in the course of a couple of years if you put in a little bit of effort.