I think I'm about to get in trouble...

[badbl00d]

Last week I was filing up my water jug in the cafeteria while a few coworkers(Some aquatic, some not) were finishing up their break and catching up on internet gossip. So while I'm in there the topic is Lizzo getting kicked out of her her Airbnb for excessive partying/noise is brought up. So the current social climate dictated that somehow it would be turned into a racism issue.

I giggled and said "It probably wasn't her color so much, as it was him being worried about the structural integrity of his home.".

This was Thursday. Took Friday off, and I just got an internal memo from HR wanting to speak with me tomorrow morning.

Should I just start looking for a new job now?

[nothingshocking]

Come to Chicago, I'll hire you bro

[MuzzieChik786]

Ouch, RIP Opie.

Better walk in there with a game plan on explaining what happened.

[Ironmanlet]

Meh, just understand the equal opportunity policy.

Demographics like race, sex, gender etc are usually protected from discrimination.

Obesity does not usually fall into the protected categories. You should know that policy prior to the meeting.

[jeshelton]

Nah brah you're black you're exempt from getting fired.

Unless Lizzo is also black.

I think that's how this works.

[TaeBoNinja]

Deny Deny Deny

[Uhyeahokay]

How fat are your co workers?

That's the snitch.

[badbl00d]

Come to Chicago, I'll hire you bro

Say the word and I'm on my way

Ouch, RIP Opie.

Better walk in there with a game plan on explaining what happened.

That's the plan for the night. Make sure I have all my I's dotted and T's crossed. This is my first time ever dealing with HR so hopefully that counts for something.

Meh, just understand the equal opportunity policy.


Demographics like race, sex, gender etc are usually protected from discrimination.

Obesity does not usually fall into the protected categories. You should know that policy prior to the meeting.

I've never dealt with HR...Guess I'll be brushing up on policy tonight.

Nah brah you're black you're exempt from getting fired.

Unless Lizzo is also black.

I think that's how this works.

She is. She's also a feminist and huge supporter of BLM. Tours over.

[BraneyGumble]

Ngl would have probably cracked a joke like that.


Hope they won't fuk you over, keep us updated on your progress.

[headturner1]

Wtf is a lizzo?

[OffwhiteBrah]

What kinda of party do you have to throw to get kicked out of an airbnb ? Must be some excessive shiit

[drvillain]

all male coworkers?

edit: nvm they were talking about lizzo, it couldn't have been. You should have known better OP

[TypeNirvash]

[potbellymadar]

Wtf is a lizzo?

[ScottTil]

Just walk in and right away say " so you want to get rid of me because im black?!"

[BraneyGumble]

Wtf is a lizzo?

The football field sized poster girl for HTC.

[badbl00d]

Deny Deny Deny

Alright...Just call me Dikembe Mutombo from here on out

How fat are your co workers?

That's the snitch.

It was 5 at the time, and I'm thinking it's the skinniest of the group. She's so woke and offended by everything. Her favorite line is "So...Did you hear about...?" The two heavier women are more like mother hen types...They're kind of bitchy, but good at their jobs so people leave them alone. Well except one of them who can't seem to stay off the toilet.

[JUGGERNAUT1333]

I'm missing the part where you said anything wrong OP?

Were you implying the structural integrity of the home was in jeopardy because she's the size of Jupiter? If that's the case just play dumb and say " I was referring to property damage from all the partying, why are you trying to fat shame Lizzo, HR person?"

[MuzzieChik786]

It's her thyroid you hateful beast!

[MikeLowrrrey]

This is what happens when you don't have a good side income or side business. Now you gotta suck it up like a good boy and ask them for forgiveness. Such is life of a male in 2020

[jeshelton]

Gone are the days where fat Lizzo could have said "squuuuuuze me? The fuk you just say?" and you have a conversation about the theory of relativity.

Instead, this is an HR related claim/offense.

just lul.

[badbl00d]

Ngl would have probably cracked a joke like that.


Hope they won't fuk you over, keep us updated on your progress.

I've been fraternizing with you degenerates for so long your quick wit is starting to rub off on me. I will...I'll definitely know something this time tomorrow.

What kinda of party do you have to throw to get kicked out of an airbnb ? Must be some excessive shiit

a big girl party

all male coworkers?

edit: nvm they were talking about lizzo, it couldn't have been. You should have known better OP

I should have...It was just wrong place, right time. It's usually not in my character, but I was in one of those moods.

Just walk in and right away say " so you want to get rid of me because im black?!"

If they wanna go low, gotta go lower, right?

[OntheClockNE]

Would have laughed with you in break-room. Hope it goes well for you, boyo.

[ChelshireCat]

I'm missing the part where you said anything wrong OP?

Were you implying the structural integrity of the home was in jeopardy because she's the size of Jupiter? If that's the case just play dumb and say " I was referring to property damage from all the partying, why are you trying to fat shame Lizzo, HR person?"

This right here!

Turn it around on them!

[badbl00d]

I'm missing the part where you said anything wrong OP?

Were you implying the structural integrity of the home was in jeopardy because she's the size of Jupiter? If that's the case just play dumb and say " I was referring to property damage from all the partying, why are you trying to fat shame Lizzo, HR person?"

I think I'm going to play the aloof angle. It's been a rough last few days, so of course I should have no idea of what they're talking about.

[miscHodor]

OP, if you're black you might be good. I'd go ahead and come out of the closet or go full tranny to get one more SJW box checked. Every little bit helps.

[GiveMeTheD]

Unless I am really good friends with a female work colleague, I am not taking the piss out of their looks/weight.

I just speak like a robot to sloots in works, never know when they'll take offence

[miscHodor]

Damn, that's one more big bitch.

[badbl00d]

Would have laughed with you in break-room. Hope it goes well for you, boyo.

Thanks brah. One guy did laugh, but the other went full on beta cop out basically laughing into his cup.

This right here!

Turn it around on them!

So should I go Aloof card or Race card? I mean I could probably parlay the Race card into a promotion of some chit.

[78novacaine]

Tours over unless you throw out the black card brah, go in there rocking some African tribal garb and no chance in Hell can they fire you.