Is there anyone here that wont touch a girl if you know shes banging someone else?

[user3657]

If shes dating multiple people, open about ****ing other dudes etc.

My friends dont see anything wrong with it but I just think its degrading on the guys part. Like that is all you can find?? How do you know she didnt just come straight from another dudes place?

thoughts?

[drvillain]

unless you're exclusive, I would assume there is someone else... cause at the end of the day, you DON'T know that she didnt just come straight from another dudes place. I don't care how innocent she comes off, or what she tells you. A lot of people are capable of lying straight to your face

[user3657]

unless you're exclusive, I would assume there is someone else... cause at the end of the day, you DON'T know that she didnt just come straight from another dudes place. I don't care how innocent she comes off, or what she tells you. A lot of people are capable of lying straight to your face

I get this. and ok with it. its like an unwritten law.

But this chick opened to me that she is hitting like everything on the block and she has a BF and told me shes happy she just wants side pieces. I think thats ****ing sick? My friends are saying who gives a **** she is offering pussy and to take it, if not give them her number lol.

[drvillain]

I get this. and ok with it. its like an unwritten law.

But this chick opened to me that she is hitting like everything on the block and she has a BF and told me shes happy she just wants side pieces. I think thats ****ing sick? My friends are saying who gives a **** she is offering pussy and to take it, if not give them her number lol.

well yeah that's a whole different situation. Shes scum and you're partaking in scum activities if you oblige. Not only is it scumy, but its also risky & dangerous if you get caught lol. Not worth it.

I've seen it all though, sloots gon sloot, so this isnt surprising. A lot of people (men & women) seem to be cheating these days

[Jasonw1178]

Just banging it's one thing but not getting serious with a girl who's seeing other guys.

[smashedurgfx10]

unless you're exclusive, I would assume there is someone else... cause at the end of the day, you DON'T know that she didnt just come straight from another dudes place. I don't care how innocent she comes off, or what she tells you. A lot of people are capable of lying straight to your face

100% this

assume she is banging other dudes, because she probably is.

always lmfao when a girl (who im not exclusive with) tells me she isn't seeing anyone else. just lmfao. lies, lies, lies. when she disappears for a few hours on a friday night, and she expects me to believe she's seeing her friends. just lmao, no sweetie, you're at a guy's house getting railed and trying to lie to my face about it so i still text you. and just to be clear - she isn't doing anything wrong, except for lying to me. if she didn't tell me full stop, or told me the truth i'd have 10x more respect for her

even if you're in a relationship, a girl is getting texts from other guys and if the opportunity is good enough she'll act on it

[LtGoose]

Women aren't logical dishwashers so always assume they are lying

[smashedurgfx10]

Women aren't logical dishwashers so always assume they are lying

this is also decent advice. i usually assume girls are lying about topics relating to men/intimacy, or at least telling half truths.

but it becomes extremely sad when you realise just how many lies there are.

both sexes lie to further their own agenda - that's nothing new, but im convinced women do it more than men because they want to keep all their options around, whereas men would rather put 100% effort into pursuing new pussy.
once they've gone off whatever girl they were into before it's done in their mind, and deception is just extra effort that they can't afford

[drvillain]

this is also decent advice. i usually assume girls are lying about topics relating to men/intimacy, or at least telling half truths.

but it becomes extremely sad when you realise just how many lies there are.

both sexes lie to further their own agenda - that's nothing new, but im convinced women do it more than men because they want to keep all their options around, whereas men would rather put 100% effort into pursuing new pussy.
once they've gone off whatever girl they were into before it's done in their mind, and deception is just extra effort that they can't afford

women are very good at leaving information out so they can tell themselves that they didnt lie. The good thing is that if you experienced enough and something doesnt feel right, you can find out the truth over time.

[smashedurgfx10]

women are very good at leaving information out so they can tell themselves that they didnt lie. The good thing is that if you experienced enough and something doesnt feel right, you can find out the truth over time.

completely agree
its more of an ego thing with them. 'im not a bad person because i didn't technically lie'
they concoct an elaborate fantasy in their heads from which they always emerge the saint, regardless of the reality

[NitrogenWidget]

I get this. and ok with it. its like an unwritten law.

But this chick opened to me that she is hitting like everything on the block and she has a BF and told me shes happy she just wants side pieces. I think thats ****ing sick? My friends are saying who gives a **** she is offering pussy and to take it, if not give them her number lol.

groce.
that's a cum dumpster.

[NitrogenWidget]

100% this

assume she is banging other dudes, because she probably is.

always lmfao when a girl (who im not exclusive with) tells me she isn't seeing anyone else. just lmfao. lies, lies, lies. when she disappears for a few hours on a friday night, and she expects me to believe she's seeing her friends. just lmao, no sweetie, you're at a guy's house getting railed and trying to lie to my face about it so i still text you. and just to be clear - she isn't doing anything wrong, except for lying to me. if she didn't tell me full stop, or told me the truth i'd have 10x more respect for her

even if you're in a relationship, a girl is getting texts from other guys and if the opportunity is good enough she'll act on it

when they feel the need to hit me up with some nonsense after 10 on a Friday about what they did that night when I wasn't even looking for them.
annoying as fuk really.

it's like "Zomg! i forgot to text the 3 guys i met online this week because joe was balls deep in me for two hrs. I better just make some stupid chit up about watching a movie at home alone then go put a bag of frozen peas on my sore puss."

[smashedurgfx10]

Paranoia is strong itt

you have more to lose assuming the girl you're seeing is being an innocent little angel while you're away, which in all likelihood isn't the case if you aren't in a relationship.

it's better to assume the worst scenario, and prepare yourself accordingly.

[drvillain]

Life is chit philosophy

This is why you’re (generic) not happy or capable of a decent relationship

you haven't been in the dating game for a long time. Things have changed due to accessibility. No one owes us a damn thing without a mutual exclusive tag or some sort of agreement. The absolute worst thing anyone can do is assume exclusivity.

[Legz422]

Paranoia is strong itt

Exactly what I was thinking. It's one thing to keep your eyes open for red flags, but to distrust everyone of the opposite gender? Yeah, that's not it. At some point you need to put some trust into someone until they give you a reason not to trust them. Not everyone is a liar. I know I'm not. It would be really insulting to me if someone consistently insinuated that I was lying to them.

you haven't been in the dating game for a long time. Things have changed due to accessibility. No one owes us a damn thing without a mutual exclusive tag or some sort of agreement. The absolute worst thing anyone can do is assume exclusivity.

This is why I won't have sex with someone who's having sex with others. It's something that will be discussed before we have sex.

[drvillain]

Exactly what I was thinking. It's one thing to keep your eyes open for red flags, but to distrust everyone of the opposite gender? Yeah, that's not it. At some point you need to put some trust into someone until they give you a reason not to trust them. Not everyone is a liar. I know I'm not. It would be really insulting to me if someone consistently insinuated that I was lying to them.

This is why I won't have sex with someone who's having sex with others. It's something that will be discussed before we have sex.

I wouldn't label it as distrusting. It's just without a discussion, I can't expect you to do anything.

I think being clear about what you expect from someone before you have sex is fair, but a lot of young adults don't have that discussion. It happens, but not often.

Then change it

Expect it

Aren’t you worth it

The more you put up with chit the more you get it

Rather than confronting, you’re accepting and slagging off the opposite sex

But what if I don't want to be exclusive? I think your perspective is as a woman that is use to, or is most comfortable in a relationship.

For the men that want to be exclusive, I think they should withhold the urge to have sex until his potential partner prompts a discussion of some kind.

[AlBHappy]

With the access today, assume they are.

I've been out of the game for a long time and happily married. But when you have adult children, it's good to be up to date.

I don't think its paranoia, I think it's a fact. Look at all the ghosting. For women it's like shopping for a tie. So many options.

The Kungflu has hurt the cause. You can't go out and meet people.

[smashedurgfx10]

With the access today, assume they are.

I've been out of the game for a long time and happily married. But when you have adult children, it's good to be up to date.

I don't think its paranoia, I think it's a fact. Look at all the ghosting. For women it's like shopping for a tie. So many options.

The Kungflu has hurt the cause. You can't go out and meet people.

Well said, and agreed.

There is simply too much supply these days. There's always a more attractive prospect waiting right around the corner

You could be an 7/10, decent career, great personality, and youd get trumped by a 8/10 who is also hitting her up

It definitely isn't paranoia. Its being realistic

[AlBHappy]

You say that but in your youth you probably had a fair few flings, not hating so did I, never more than 1 at a time though

There were pubs and clubs and trips, places where you can meet random strangers everywhere. There’s no exponential growth in the number of people you can shag just cos dating apps open the field to greater distances.

We had the expectation that if you agree to go out, there is only you until you say nope not working

The fact you now need to have a conversation to ensure your date isn’t dipping in someone else’s pot is corrupt in modern society - disposability

^^^^^^^^^Agree 100%^^^^^^^^^^^

You articulated this perfectly. Disposability. In a bar there is a finite amount of people to meet in that location. Online you could be anywhere.

[smashedurgfx10]

The fact you now need to have a conversation to ensure your date isn’t dipping in someone else’s pot is corrupt in modern society - disposability

that conversation is required nowadays, because there are simply so many options at your fingertips - no one wants to settle for one person, but i will say this is exaggerated in women purely because they have more options to choose from. i believe social media and online dating has brought out the worst in people; men AND women.

Our controversial but innate ability to lie to others for our own gain (something we learnt early on in childhood) has been really exemplified in the realm of intimate relationships and intersexual dynamics because of the aforementioned mediums, whereby it's just so easy to procure more sexual opportunities. Because of this one tends to fail in seeing the good right in front of you, and we give up at the first sign of an incompatibility instead of working through it.

also, I for one am not hating on a gender - im just saying its absurd to assume women are only sleeping with you, because more often than not they wont be, for the reason above - so you'd save yourself a lot of heartbreak by not kidding yourself

[drvillain]

DrVillain you’re probably right I am comfortable in relationships,

But if you’re playing the field I don’t think you get to slag off an entire gender cos you are targeting women who do the same

Because you may grow out of that sowing your oats phase, and so may they (contentious on misc)

I agree with you on all accounts. I don't hate women at all, so perhaps it isn't fair of me to say sloots gon sloot when men sloot as well. I'm also damn near out of the sowing oats phase as well, but I still just think you have to have a different mindset & reality check these days.

--
also in perfect timing, this morning I woke up to a confirmation on social media that I am a side dude. I've intentionally cut every woman but this one off lately (because I'm highly attracted to her. would never date) but my belief that there is likely someone else in the picture has saved me from any potential pain & suffering.

[Fang2]

I wouldn't care, unless she was a massive whore ridden with STDs.

[drvillain]

Can you say what you’ve seen on social media?

And have you had the exclusive talk you seem to require?

She sent a message a few days ago letting me know she's going out of town to hang out with her family, but wants to see me when she gets back.

Then this morning, she has a photo in her story of her face timing some guy with the caption asking for him to come visit.


I don't see her as the type to be tied down to 1 man, so there has never been any talk of exclusivity, and I don't expect it from her. She gets a little territorial over me in public but she knows that isn't her place.

[Legz422]

DrVillain you’re probably right I am comfortable in relationships,

But if you’re playing the field I don’t think you get to slag off an entire gender cos you are targeting women who do the same

Because you may grow out of that sowing your oats phase, and so may they (contentious on misc)



You say that but in your youth you probably had a fair few flings, not hating so did I, never more than 1 at a time though

There were pubs and clubs and trips, places where you can meet random strangers everywhere. There’s no exponential growth in the number of people you can shag just cos dating apps open the field to greater distances.

We had the expectation that if you agree to go out, there is only you until you say nope not working

The fact you now need to have a conversation to ensure your date isn’t dipping in someone else’s pot is corrupt in modern society - disposability

Yup, it's pretty disheartening and sucks to be single now when I grew up with that mindset. I've never been one to be having sex with more than 1 man at a time, as I am definitely a one man woman. When I'm with someone I'm into, I could not care less about anyone else.

^^^^^^^^^Agree 100%^^^^^^^^^^^

You articulated this perfectly. Disposability. In a bar there is a finite amount of people to meet in that location. Online you could be anywhere.

And yup. This too.

[newbuck]

No, just like others ITT have said assume they are, and you should be as well until talks of exclusivity happen.
Women have access to dozens of local guys in the area from their fingertips and imore often than not it is Naive and foolish to think that you are the only one a woman is talking to in this day and age, especially with younger women.

[Konrai]

If I know she is still actively with another man, nope not interested, not trying to catch the honey tip.

[SpainWithNoS]

That would be pathetic behaviour. If it was strictly a FWB where you ONLY Meet up for sex then i guess i would be ok.

But imagine taking a girl out on a date, seeing a movie with her, or even going out for a walk with her (Not having sex every time) whilst she goes to a random chad's house and has sex with him, but it's okay because you are not exclusive. That is just cuck behaviour. I know a guy in this situation and it's sad. He is dating a girl for over 6 months, takes her out for dinners and dates but she also (probably) bangs other dudes who put in 0 work.

Such is life in the dating world in 2020,

A girl has

a) The guy who does everything for her and treats her like queen
b) the chads she can bang when she wants
c) the simps/betas that shwer her in compliments on social media

lmfao.


Imagine you're a guy right and you have a girl tht takes you out and you can **** with but dont really like her so you just ride with it, then you have hot girls you can **** when you want if you get bored of your first girl then you have a tonne of girls hitting

[SweetDreamz]

I don't understand where this expectation of your date only talking/seeing you comes from. There will always be competition, what makes you so special that someone who has a lot of options will drop everyone else for you? Knowing that most new people you meet are not commit-able d/t lack of chemistry/values ect; it would be foolish to put all your eggs in one basket.

I don't care if the guy I go out with is seeing multiple girls. Until he asks for exclusivity I'm going to assume he's not serious about me so I'm not wasting any time on him.

[dolvioblue]

If I am not emotionally invested in here I don’t care at all. Why would I?

[Silencespeaks]

Exclusivity is ofc always preferred but not always attainable.

Even in relationships and marriage btw.