Reply
Page 1 of 3 1 2 3 LastLast
Results 1 to 30 of 88
  1. #1
    Registered User AshkenaziJew's Avatar
    Join Date: Jun 2020
    Age: 50
    Posts: 49
    Rep Power: 0
    AshkenaziJew has no reputation, good or bad yet. (0) AshkenaziJew has no reputation, good or bad yet. (0) AshkenaziJew has no reputation, good or bad yet. (0) AshkenaziJew has no reputation, good or bad yet. (0) AshkenaziJew has no reputation, good or bad yet. (0) AshkenaziJew has no reputation, good or bad yet. (0) AshkenaziJew has no reputation, good or bad yet. (0) AshkenaziJew has no reputation, good or bad yet. (0) AshkenaziJew has no reputation, good or bad yet. (0) AshkenaziJew has no reputation, good or bad yet. (0) AshkenaziJew has no reputation, good or bad yet. (0)
    AshkenaziJew is offline

    I've got the dreaded oneitis

    Long story short, I'm 30 and have been seeing this girl who's 28 and just out of a LTR (which she ended). We've hungout like 8-10 times and gone on a couple dates. I have low-key feelings for her. Not like in love or anything crazy, but am starting to care about her beyond just wanting to use her as a fuktoy. Not sure of her feelings, and since she's just getting out of a relationship it's probably not the best situation to get myself into, but it is what it is.

    I would assume she's talking to other guys (not sure how seriously), but not sure if she's been dating/fuking anyone else. It would be fair if she did though--she obviously doesn't owe me anything since we aren't exclusive. With that, I've been trying to keep my guard up and talk to other girls, but it feels awkward since I've got feelings for someone else. At the same time, I'm pretty mentally fuked when it comes to dating because of how many bullchitters there are out there, and I'm always thinking "hmm I wonder if she's going to flake this time and it's going to start going downhill"--because that's what always ends up happening.
    Reply With Quote

  2. #2
    Registered User iiSteve's Avatar
    Join Date: Jan 2013
    Posts: 192
    Rep Power: 219
    iiSteve will become famous soon enough. (+50) iiSteve will become famous soon enough. (+50) iiSteve will become famous soon enough. (+50) iiSteve will become famous soon enough. (+50) iiSteve will become famous soon enough. (+50) iiSteve will become famous soon enough. (+50) iiSteve will become famous soon enough. (+50) iiSteve will become famous soon enough. (+50) iiSteve will become famous soon enough. (+50) iiSteve will become famous soon enough. (+50) iiSteve will become famous soon enough. (+50)
    iiSteve is offline
    Find a lowkey way gauge how she feels? Let’s be honest around mid 20s to 30s, people are inclined to want an actual relationship.
    You don’t want her feelings to fizzle out so don’t take forever homie.
    Reply With Quote

  3. #3
    Registered User AshkenaziJew's Avatar
    Join Date: Jun 2020
    Age: 50
    Posts: 49
    Rep Power: 0
    AshkenaziJew has no reputation, good or bad yet. (0) AshkenaziJew has no reputation, good or bad yet. (0) AshkenaziJew has no reputation, good or bad yet. (0) AshkenaziJew has no reputation, good or bad yet. (0) AshkenaziJew has no reputation, good or bad yet. (0) AshkenaziJew has no reputation, good or bad yet. (0) AshkenaziJew has no reputation, good or bad yet. (0) AshkenaziJew has no reputation, good or bad yet. (0) AshkenaziJew has no reputation, good or bad yet. (0) AshkenaziJew has no reputation, good or bad yet. (0) AshkenaziJew has no reputation, good or bad yet. (0)
    AshkenaziJew is offline
    Originally Posted by iiSteve View Post
    Find a lowkey way gauge how she feels? Let’s be honest around mid 20s to 30s, people are inclined to want an actual relationship.
    Yeah I'm ready for one considering I've never dated anyone past 6 months. She definitely like me, but she's also just out of a relationship, so I can't tell where she's at with getting into another one or even if she can develop feelings for someone else so soon.
    Reply With Quote

  4. #4
    Registered User sandman2019's Avatar
    Join Date: Jul 2019
    Age: 50
    Posts: 3,290
    Rep Power: 6948
    sandman2019 is a name known to all. (+5000) sandman2019 is a name known to all. (+5000) sandman2019 is a name known to all. (+5000) sandman2019 is a name known to all. (+5000) sandman2019 is a name known to all. (+5000) sandman2019 is a name known to all. (+5000) sandman2019 is a name known to all. (+5000) sandman2019 is a name known to all. (+5000) sandman2019 is a name known to all. (+5000) sandman2019 is a name known to all. (+5000) sandman2019 is a name known to all. (+5000)
    sandman2019 is offline
    go no contact asap. oneitis will ruin ur life. I'm still struggling with it a year later and its only now I feel better because I cant remember my oneitis that well anymore.
    * hide in my car on saturday night so my ant farm think i have a social life crew *
    * clown world crew *
    * Can't get a better girl than my oneitis crew*
    * Feel depressed that I can't remember my oneitis crew *
    Reply With Quote

  5. #5
    Registered User AshkenaziJew's Avatar
    Join Date: Jun 2020
    Age: 50
    Posts: 49
    Rep Power: 0
    AshkenaziJew has no reputation, good or bad yet. (0) AshkenaziJew has no reputation, good or bad yet. (0) AshkenaziJew has no reputation, good or bad yet. (0) AshkenaziJew has no reputation, good or bad yet. (0) AshkenaziJew has no reputation, good or bad yet. (0) AshkenaziJew has no reputation, good or bad yet. (0) AshkenaziJew has no reputation, good or bad yet. (0) AshkenaziJew has no reputation, good or bad yet. (0) AshkenaziJew has no reputation, good or bad yet. (0) AshkenaziJew has no reputation, good or bad yet. (0) AshkenaziJew has no reputation, good or bad yet. (0)
    AshkenaziJew is offline
    Originally Posted by sandman2019 View Post
    go no contact asap. oneitis will ruin ur life. I'm still struggling with it a year later and its only now I feel better because I cant remember my oneitis that well anymore.
    Lol I know how you're feeling, but you gotta take chances sometimes
    Reply With Quote

  6. #6
    LOL no Rabbitjb's Avatar
    Join Date: Apr 2016
    Posts: 25,636
    Rep Power: 312787
    Rabbitjb has a reputation beyond repute. Second best rank possible! (+100000) Rabbitjb has a reputation beyond repute. Second best rank possible! (+100000) Rabbitjb has a reputation beyond repute. Second best rank possible! (+100000) Rabbitjb has a reputation beyond repute. Second best rank possible! (+100000) Rabbitjb has a reputation beyond repute. Second best rank possible! (+100000) Rabbitjb has a reputation beyond repute. Second best rank possible! (+100000) Rabbitjb has a reputation beyond repute. Second best rank possible! (+100000) Rabbitjb has a reputation beyond repute. Second best rank possible! (+100000) Rabbitjb has a reputation beyond repute. Second best rank possible! (+100000) Rabbitjb has a reputation beyond repute. Second best rank possible! (+100000) Rabbitjb has a reputation beyond repute. Second best rank possible! (+100000)
    Rabbitjb is offline
    Try telling her you don’t wanna see anyone else and see where this relationship goes

    Is she a nice ashkenazi girl?
    Reply With Quote

  7. #7
    Copeaesthetic HangingChad's Avatar
    Join Date: May 2018
    Posts: 298
    Rep Power: 1888
    HangingChad is just really nice. (+1000) HangingChad is just really nice. (+1000) HangingChad is just really nice. (+1000) HangingChad is just really nice. (+1000) HangingChad is just really nice. (+1000) HangingChad is just really nice. (+1000) HangingChad is just really nice. (+1000) HangingChad is just really nice. (+1000) HangingChad is just really nice. (+1000) HangingChad is just really nice. (+1000) HangingChad is just really nice. (+1000)
    HangingChad is offline
    Originally Posted by AshkenaziJew View Post
    We've hungout like 8-10 times and gone on a couple dates. I have low-key feelings for her. Not like in love or anything crazy, but am starting to care about her beyond just wanting to use her as a fuktoy. Not sure of her feelings, and since she's just getting out of a relationship it's probably not the best situation to get myself into, but it is what it is.
    Yeah if you've only been out twice then sounds like your feelings may be ahead of where you are in the relationship. That's always a risk when you start out as friends and then it turns into something more. Don't know for sure if that's what happened here but interesting you've hung out a lot without dating much. Anyway, I would not bring it up to her. I'd line up other women and spend time dating them so you've got that abundance mentality going on. That's the cure for oneitis. If you still feel like she's that amazing in the context of other girls you're pulling, then revisit but let her take the lead on relationship talk. Since she's just out of an LTR you definitely risk scaring her by going DTR. Two dates is early days, just enjoy the ride.
    物の哀れ
    Reply With Quote

  8. #8
    Registered User AshkenaziJew's Avatar
    Join Date: Jun 2020
    Age: 50
    Posts: 49
    Rep Power: 0
    AshkenaziJew has no reputation, good or bad yet. (0) AshkenaziJew has no reputation, good or bad yet. (0) AshkenaziJew has no reputation, good or bad yet. (0) AshkenaziJew has no reputation, good or bad yet. (0) AshkenaziJew has no reputation, good or bad yet. (0) AshkenaziJew has no reputation, good or bad yet. (0) AshkenaziJew has no reputation, good or bad yet. (0) AshkenaziJew has no reputation, good or bad yet. (0) AshkenaziJew has no reputation, good or bad yet. (0) AshkenaziJew has no reputation, good or bad yet. (0) AshkenaziJew has no reputation, good or bad yet. (0)
    AshkenaziJew is offline
    Originally Posted by HangingChad View Post
    Yeah if you've only been out twice then sounds like your feelings may be ahead of where you are in the relationship. That's always a risk when you start out as friends and then it turns into something more. Don't know for sure if that's what happened here but interesting you've hung out a lot without dating much. Anyway, I would not bring it up to her. I'd line up other women and spend time dating them so you've got that abundance mentality going on. That's the cure for oneitis. If you still feel like she's that amazing in the context of other girls you're pulling, then revisit but let her take the lead on relationship talk. Since she's just out of an LTR you definitely risk scaring her by going DTR. Two dates is early days, just enjoy the ride.
    Thanks. By a couple "dates" I mean gone out for dinner or whatever, but by "hangout" I mean we've "netflix'd and chilled".

    I'm trying to talk to other girls on dating apps and sh!t, but it's a pain in the ass and like I said feels weird because I'm digging someone else already. I'm trying not to bring up "exclusivity", but damn I hate it when I like someone and don't know how they really feel.
    Reply With Quote

  9. #9
    LOL no Rabbitjb's Avatar
    Join Date: Apr 2016
    Posts: 25,636
    Rep Power: 312787
    Rabbitjb has a reputation beyond repute. Second best rank possible! (+100000) Rabbitjb has a reputation beyond repute. Second best rank possible! (+100000) Rabbitjb has a reputation beyond repute. Second best rank possible! (+100000) Rabbitjb has a reputation beyond repute. Second best rank possible! (+100000) Rabbitjb has a reputation beyond repute. Second best rank possible! (+100000) Rabbitjb has a reputation beyond repute. Second best rank possible! (+100000) Rabbitjb has a reputation beyond repute. Second best rank possible! (+100000) Rabbitjb has a reputation beyond repute. Second best rank possible! (+100000) Rabbitjb has a reputation beyond repute. Second best rank possible! (+100000) Rabbitjb has a reputation beyond repute. Second best rank possible! (+100000) Rabbitjb has a reputation beyond repute. Second best rank possible! (+100000)
    Rabbitjb is offline
    I like you

    I like you too / I’m not there yet / yeah this isn’t working for me


    Man up and you’ll know
    Reply With Quote

  10. #10
    Copeaesthetic HangingChad's Avatar
    Join Date: May 2018
    Posts: 298
    Rep Power: 1888
    HangingChad is just really nice. (+1000) HangingChad is just really nice. (+1000) HangingChad is just really nice. (+1000) HangingChad is just really nice. (+1000) HangingChad is just really nice. (+1000) HangingChad is just really nice. (+1000) HangingChad is just really nice. (+1000) HangingChad is just really nice. (+1000) HangingChad is just really nice. (+1000) HangingChad is just really nice. (+1000) HangingChad is just really nice. (+1000)
    HangingChad is offline
    Originally Posted by AshkenaziJew View Post
    Thanks. By a couple "dates" I mean gone out for dinner or whatever, but by "hangout" I mean we've "netflix'd and chilled".

    I'm trying to talk to other girls on dating apps and sh!t, but it's a pain in the ass and like I said feels weird because I'm digging someone else already. I'm trying not to bring up "exclusivity", but damn I hate it when I like someone and don't know how they really feel.
    Ah ok cool, good that you've done the N&C a few times. Wasn't sure if you meant hungout in a group.

    Yeah, it's a tough call man. Her coming out of an LTR is a big deal--that changes everything. You're very likely a rebound but there's the chance for something more. Just talking to women on apps probably isn't going to distract you and yeah it's a time suck but if you can motivate yourself to go out with them you might meet a couple who keep you entertained.

    If it's really killing you, and you just need a yes/no then by all means go for it just be prepared for the consequences. Sometimes a guy needs to do that to get over a girl he's got no real shot with. In your case, sounds like things are going well and you could potentially wreck it. When I was separated I met a girl who was also separated. Both of us were coming out of LTRs...she wanted to go exclusive and said she'd wait for me, it'd be fine if I wanted to see other women. I was way too eager, said I would do the same. **** you not, everything changed after that DTR talk and not for the better.
    物の哀れ
    Reply With Quote

  11. #11
    Registered User AshkenaziJew's Avatar
    Join Date: Jun 2020
    Age: 50
    Posts: 49
    Rep Power: 0
    AshkenaziJew has no reputation, good or bad yet. (0) AshkenaziJew has no reputation, good or bad yet. (0) AshkenaziJew has no reputation, good or bad yet. (0) AshkenaziJew has no reputation, good or bad yet. (0) AshkenaziJew has no reputation, good or bad yet. (0) AshkenaziJew has no reputation, good or bad yet. (0) AshkenaziJew has no reputation, good or bad yet. (0) AshkenaziJew has no reputation, good or bad yet. (0) AshkenaziJew has no reputation, good or bad yet. (0) AshkenaziJew has no reputation, good or bad yet. (0) AshkenaziJew has no reputation, good or bad yet. (0)
    AshkenaziJew is offline
    Originally Posted by Rabbitjb View Post
    I like you

    I like you too / I’m not there yet / yeah this isn’t working for me


    Man up and you’ll know
    I'm worried this is going to scare her off. Or at the very least put me at a "power" disadvantage (I hate games but we can't ignore them).

    Originally Posted by HangingChad View Post
    Ah ok cool, good that you've done the N&C a few times. Wasn't sure if you meant hungout in a group.

    Yeah, it's a tough call man. Her coming out of an LTR is a big deal--that changes everything. You're very likely a rebound but there's the chance for something more. Just talking to women on apps probably isn't going to distract you and yeah it's a time suck but if you can motivate yourself to go out with them you might meet a couple who keep you entertained.

    If it's really killing you, and you just need a yes/no then by all means go for it just be prepared for the consequences. Sometimes a guy needs to do that to get over a girl he's got no real shot with. In your case, sounds like things are going well and you could potentially wreck it. When I was separated I met a girl who was also separated. Both of us were coming out of LTRs...she wanted to go exclusive and said she'd wait for me, it'd be fine if I wanted to see other women. I was way too eager, said I would do the same. **** you not, everything changed after that DTR talk and not for the better.
    The one thing that's a positive is that SHE is the one who ended her previous relationship and isn't "hurting" at all (her words). But yeah, I feel like bringing it up is going to make it less fun for her if we're not on the same page, and she's going to lose interest. Or she's just going to be turned off altogether by me bringing it up.

    She also did something a little weird today.. I snapchatted her at noon telling her to come to my place, then I'd drive us for our date tonight, then she hit me up on facebook saying her phone died this morning. Thing is, she opened my snap.. How do you open a snap if your phone is dead? I mean, she didn't flake (yet at least), and agreed to me picking her up instead, but it seems odd. Planning on asking her about it in person.
    Reply With Quote

  12. #12
    LOL no Rabbitjb's Avatar
    Join Date: Apr 2016
    Posts: 25,636
    Rep Power: 312787
    Rabbitjb has a reputation beyond repute. Second best rank possible! (+100000) Rabbitjb has a reputation beyond repute. Second best rank possible! (+100000) Rabbitjb has a reputation beyond repute. Second best rank possible! (+100000) Rabbitjb has a reputation beyond repute. Second best rank possible! (+100000) Rabbitjb has a reputation beyond repute. Second best rank possible! (+100000) Rabbitjb has a reputation beyond repute. Second best rank possible! (+100000) Rabbitjb has a reputation beyond repute. Second best rank possible! (+100000) Rabbitjb has a reputation beyond repute. Second best rank possible! (+100000) Rabbitjb has a reputation beyond repute. Second best rank possible! (+100000) Rabbitjb has a reputation beyond repute. Second best rank possible! (+100000) Rabbitjb has a reputation beyond repute. Second best rank possible! (+100000)
    Rabbitjb is offline
    Snapchat works on pc, Mac etc

    I wouldn’t interrogate her on little details like that

    That can only seem ...odd
    Reply With Quote

  13. #13
    Registered User AshkenaziJew's Avatar
    Join Date: Jun 2020
    Age: 50
    Posts: 49
    Rep Power: 0
    AshkenaziJew has no reputation, good or bad yet. (0) AshkenaziJew has no reputation, good or bad yet. (0) AshkenaziJew has no reputation, good or bad yet. (0) AshkenaziJew has no reputation, good or bad yet. (0) AshkenaziJew has no reputation, good or bad yet. (0) AshkenaziJew has no reputation, good or bad yet. (0) AshkenaziJew has no reputation, good or bad yet. (0) AshkenaziJew has no reputation, good or bad yet. (0) AshkenaziJew has no reputation, good or bad yet. (0) AshkenaziJew has no reputation, good or bad yet. (0) AshkenaziJew has no reputation, good or bad yet. (0)
    AshkenaziJew is offline
    Originally Posted by Rabbitjb View Post
    Snapchat works on pc, Mac etc

    I wouldn’t interrogate her on little details like that

    That can only seem ...odd
    Really? I thought the only way to do it was to use an emulator like bluestacks on PC, which she wouldn't know how to do. How do you get snapchat on PC?

    But you're right I probably shouldn't ask.
    Reply With Quote

  14. #14
    LOL no Rabbitjb's Avatar
    Join Date: Apr 2016
    Posts: 25,636
    Rep Power: 312787
    Rabbitjb has a reputation beyond repute. Second best rank possible! (+100000) Rabbitjb has a reputation beyond repute. Second best rank possible! (+100000) Rabbitjb has a reputation beyond repute. Second best rank possible! (+100000) Rabbitjb has a reputation beyond repute. Second best rank possible! (+100000) Rabbitjb has a reputation beyond repute. Second best rank possible! (+100000) Rabbitjb has a reputation beyond repute. Second best rank possible! (+100000) Rabbitjb has a reputation beyond repute. Second best rank possible! (+100000) Rabbitjb has a reputation beyond repute. Second best rank possible! (+100000) Rabbitjb has a reputation beyond repute. Second best rank possible! (+100000) Rabbitjb has a reputation beyond repute. Second best rank possible! (+100000) Rabbitjb has a reputation beyond repute. Second best rank possible! (+100000)
    Rabbitjb is offline
    Why wouldn’t she be able to download through bluestacks? Or if she has an iPad just download as an iPhone app ?

    Point is that you’re focusing on a small detail that you think you’re catching her out in a lie when there could be a reason for it, at this stage it would be more normal to brush it off

    Particularly if you don’t want her to know you like her, like her
    Reply With Quote

  15. #15
    Copeaesthetic HangingChad's Avatar
    Join Date: May 2018
    Posts: 298
    Rep Power: 1888
    HangingChad is just really nice. (+1000) HangingChad is just really nice. (+1000) HangingChad is just really nice. (+1000) HangingChad is just really nice. (+1000) HangingChad is just really nice. (+1000) HangingChad is just really nice. (+1000) HangingChad is just really nice. (+1000) HangingChad is just really nice. (+1000) HangingChad is just really nice. (+1000) HangingChad is just really nice. (+1000) HangingChad is just really nice. (+1000)
    HangingChad is offline
    Originally Posted by AshkenaziJew View Post
    I'm worried this is going to scare her off. Or at the very least put me at a "power" disadvantage (I hate games but we can't ignore them).
    100%. It's not "games", just how attraction works.

    Originally Posted by AshkenaziJew View Post
    The one thing that's a positive is that SHE is the one who ended her previous relationship and isn't "hurting" at all (her words). But yeah, I feel like bringing it up is going to make it less fun for her if we're not on the same page, and she's going to lose interest. Or she's just going to be turned off altogether by me bringing it up.

    She also did something a little weird today.. I snapchatted her at noon telling her to come to my place, then I'd drive us for our date tonight, then she hit me up on facebook saying her phone died this morning. Thing is, she opened my snap.. How do you open a snap if your phone is dead? I mean, she didn't flake (yet at least), and agreed to me picking her up instead, but it seems odd. Planning on asking her about it in person.
    In the example I gave you, both me and her were the ones to end our relationships. It's definitely a + that your girl is the one who ended hers. Still, when you get out of LTR you have a lot of freedom (not just the freedom to see other people, I'm talking about all of it) and it can be intoxicating. You don't want to come across as stifling that.

    As for the whole Snapchat thing, I think you're way overthinking it. Who cares? She made the effort to reach out to you and confirmed the date tonight. I wouldn't bring it up at all. What would be the point? With you talking about her potentially flaking too it sounds like self-sabotage or that you're expecting things to not work out. Just have fun in the moment and keep it light.
    Last edited by HangingChad; 06-27-2020 at 02:38 PM.
    物の哀れ
    Reply With Quote

  16. #16
    Registered User AshkenaziJew's Avatar
    Join Date: Jun 2020
    Age: 50
    Posts: 49
    Rep Power: 0
    AshkenaziJew has no reputation, good or bad yet. (0) AshkenaziJew has no reputation, good or bad yet. (0) AshkenaziJew has no reputation, good or bad yet. (0) AshkenaziJew has no reputation, good or bad yet. (0) AshkenaziJew has no reputation, good or bad yet. (0) AshkenaziJew has no reputation, good or bad yet. (0) AshkenaziJew has no reputation, good or bad yet. (0) AshkenaziJew has no reputation, good or bad yet. (0) AshkenaziJew has no reputation, good or bad yet. (0) AshkenaziJew has no reputation, good or bad yet. (0) AshkenaziJew has no reputation, good or bad yet. (0)
    AshkenaziJew is offline
    Originally Posted by Rabbitjb View Post
    Why wouldn’t she be able to download through bluestacks? Or if she has an iPad just download as an iPhone app ?

    Point is that you’re focusing on a small detail that you think you’re catching her out in a lie when there could be a reason for it, at this stage it would be more normal to brush it off

    Particularly if you don’t want her to know you like her, like her
    Originally Posted by HangingChad View Post
    100%. It's not "games", just how attraction works.



    In the example I gave you, both me and her were the ones to end our relationships. It's definitely a + that she's the one who ended hers. Still, when you get out of LTR you have a lot of freedom (not just the freedom to see other people, I'm talking about all of it) and it can be intoxicating. You don't want to come across as stifling that.

    As for the whole Snapchat thing, I think you're way overthinking it. Who cares? She made the effort to reach out to you and confirmed the date tonight. I wouldn't bring it up at all. What would be the point? With you talking about her potentially flaking too it sounds like self-sabotage or that you're expecting things to not work out. Just have fun in the moment and keep it light.

    Just found it weird that she opened my snap, then responded on facebook instead of snapchat, and didn't explain anything beyond her phone "died". But you all are right. Thanks.
    Reply With Quote

  17. #17
    Registered User BourgeoisBrah's Avatar
    Join Date: Apr 2015
    Age: 30
    Posts: 615
    Rep Power: 1935
    BourgeoisBrah is just really nice. (+1000) BourgeoisBrah is just really nice. (+1000) BourgeoisBrah is just really nice. (+1000) BourgeoisBrah is just really nice. (+1000) BourgeoisBrah is just really nice. (+1000) BourgeoisBrah is just really nice. (+1000) BourgeoisBrah is just really nice. (+1000) BourgeoisBrah is just really nice. (+1000) BourgeoisBrah is just really nice. (+1000) BourgeoisBrah is just really nice. (+1000) BourgeoisBrah is just really nice. (+1000)
    BourgeoisBrah is offline
    All you gotta do is keep setting up hangouts. Asking her to be exclusive and all the other dumb chit is pointless. She’ll do that eventually.

    If I’ve ever had to ask a girl out it’s usually been a denial. Every relationship I’ve ever had the girl cracks and asks “what are we?”
    Reply With Quote

  18. #18
    Registered User dontstopbelief's Avatar
    Join Date: May 2019
    Age: 50
    Posts: 1,169
    Rep Power: 3449
    dontstopbelief is a glorious beacon of knowledge. (+2500) dontstopbelief is a glorious beacon of knowledge. (+2500) dontstopbelief is a glorious beacon of knowledge. (+2500) dontstopbelief is a glorious beacon of knowledge. (+2500) dontstopbelief is a glorious beacon of knowledge. (+2500) dontstopbelief is a glorious beacon of knowledge. (+2500) dontstopbelief is a glorious beacon of knowledge. (+2500) dontstopbelief is a glorious beacon of knowledge. (+2500) dontstopbelief is a glorious beacon of knowledge. (+2500) dontstopbelief is a glorious beacon of knowledge. (+2500) dontstopbelief is a glorious beacon of knowledge. (+2500)
    dontstopbelief is offline
    She's recently out of a LTR? Tread very carefully with feelings OP, she's likely wanting time away from relationships and just needs sex.
    Reply With Quote

  19. #19
    Registered User AshkenaziJew's Avatar
    Join Date: Jun 2020
    Age: 50
    Posts: 49
    Rep Power: 0
    AshkenaziJew has no reputation, good or bad yet. (0) AshkenaziJew has no reputation, good or bad yet. (0) AshkenaziJew has no reputation, good or bad yet. (0) AshkenaziJew has no reputation, good or bad yet. (0) AshkenaziJew has no reputation, good or bad yet. (0) AshkenaziJew has no reputation, good or bad yet. (0) AshkenaziJew has no reputation, good or bad yet. (0) AshkenaziJew has no reputation, good or bad yet. (0) AshkenaziJew has no reputation, good or bad yet. (0) AshkenaziJew has no reputation, good or bad yet. (0) AshkenaziJew has no reputation, good or bad yet. (0)
    AshkenaziJew is offline
    Date last night went well. Then we worked out together today at my dad's house (home gym is there). We're also are planning on going to Dave & Buster's Saturday. But she's getting a new mattress tomorrow (big deal for her since she's been sleeping on her couch), so I was planning on hitting her up tomorrow saying we should workout Tuesday, grab dinner, then "break in" her new mattress.
    Reply With Quote

  20. #20
    Here's beer Mr Beer's Avatar
    Join Date: Nov 2004
    Location: In the bar
    Posts: 33,547
    Rep Power: 92719
    Mr Beer has a brilliant future. Third best rank! (+40000) Mr Beer has a brilliant future. Third best rank! (+40000) Mr Beer has a brilliant future. Third best rank! (+40000) Mr Beer has a brilliant future. Third best rank! (+40000) Mr Beer has a brilliant future. Third best rank! (+40000) Mr Beer has a brilliant future. Third best rank! (+40000) Mr Beer has a brilliant future. Third best rank! (+40000) Mr Beer has a brilliant future. Third best rank! (+40000) Mr Beer has a brilliant future. Third best rank! (+40000) Mr Beer has a brilliant future. Third best rank! (+40000) Mr Beer has a brilliant future. Third best rank! (+40000)
    Mr Beer is offline
    Agree with rabbit, just say you like her and want to be gf/bf. You're already banging her so it's not a crazy escalation.
    I will read and review 100 books this year: https://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=176675491

    “Many religions now come before us with ingratiating smirks and outspread hands, like an unctuous merchant in a bazaar. They offer consolation and solidarity and uplift, competing as they do in a marketplace. But we have a right to remember how barbarically they behaved when they were strong and were making an offer that people could not refuse.”
    Reply With Quote

  21. #21
    Registered User AshkenaziJew's Avatar
    Join Date: Jun 2020
    Age: 50
    Posts: 49
    Rep Power: 0
    AshkenaziJew has no reputation, good or bad yet. (0) AshkenaziJew has no reputation, good or bad yet. (0) AshkenaziJew has no reputation, good or bad yet. (0) AshkenaziJew has no reputation, good or bad yet. (0) AshkenaziJew has no reputation, good or bad yet. (0) AshkenaziJew has no reputation, good or bad yet. (0) AshkenaziJew has no reputation, good or bad yet. (0) AshkenaziJew has no reputation, good or bad yet. (0) AshkenaziJew has no reputation, good or bad yet. (0) AshkenaziJew has no reputation, good or bad yet. (0) AshkenaziJew has no reputation, good or bad yet. (0)
    AshkenaziJew is offline
    Originally Posted by Mr Beer View Post
    Agree with rabbit, just say you like her and want to be gf/bf. You're already banging her so it's not a crazy escalation.
    She's like a month out of her previous LTR though. I just feel like it's too soon unless she asks me first. If she wasn't just out of a relationship I probably would've already told her I wanted to be exclusive.
    Reply With Quote

  22. #22
    Registered User Legz422's Avatar
    Join Date: Sep 2017
    Age: 51
    Posts: 22,009
    Rep Power: 254412
    Legz422 has a reputation beyond repute. Second best rank possible! (+100000) Legz422 has a reputation beyond repute. Second best rank possible! (+100000) Legz422 has a reputation beyond repute. Second best rank possible! (+100000) Legz422 has a reputation beyond repute. Second best rank possible! (+100000) Legz422 has a reputation beyond repute. Second best rank possible! (+100000) Legz422 has a reputation beyond repute. Second best rank possible! (+100000) Legz422 has a reputation beyond repute. Second best rank possible! (+100000) Legz422 has a reputation beyond repute. Second best rank possible! (+100000) Legz422 has a reputation beyond repute. Second best rank possible! (+100000) Legz422 has a reputation beyond repute. Second best rank possible! (+100000) Legz422 has a reputation beyond repute. Second best rank possible! (+100000)
    Legz422 is online now
    Originally Posted by AshkenaziJew View Post
    She's like a month out of her previous LTR though. I just feel like it's too soon unless she asks me first. If she wasn't just out of a relationship I probably would've already told her I wanted to be exclusive.
    If you're having sex, you always have the right to ask about exclusivity. People have the right to keep themselves safe from STDs and there's nothing wrong with that. Doesn't mean you have to jump right into a real relationship though. Could still just hang out and take the relationship thing slower.
    Unapproved sig line
    Reply With Quote

  23. #23
    Registered User AshkenaziJew's Avatar
    Join Date: Jun 2020
    Age: 50
    Posts: 49
    Rep Power: 0
    AshkenaziJew has no reputation, good or bad yet. (0) AshkenaziJew has no reputation, good or bad yet. (0) AshkenaziJew has no reputation, good or bad yet. (0) AshkenaziJew has no reputation, good or bad yet. (0) AshkenaziJew has no reputation, good or bad yet. (0) AshkenaziJew has no reputation, good or bad yet. (0) AshkenaziJew has no reputation, good or bad yet. (0) AshkenaziJew has no reputation, good or bad yet. (0) AshkenaziJew has no reputation, good or bad yet. (0) AshkenaziJew has no reputation, good or bad yet. (0) AshkenaziJew has no reputation, good or bad yet. (0)
    AshkenaziJew is offline
    Originally Posted by Legz422 View Post
    If you're having sex, you always have the right to ask about exclusivity. People have the right to keep themselves safe from STDs and there's nothing wrong with that. Doesn't mean you have to jump right into a real relationship though. Could still just hang out and take the relationship thing slower.
    That's actually a really good point. We've been having sex without a condom (she's on birth control) and neither of us have brought up the other partners conversation. I'm not sure if this means that she assumes there's already some exclusivity, or she's just... More wild than I think and isn't worried about catching STDs.

    Honestly, I kinda don't even want to know if she's sleeping with other guys because it's going to bother me at this point and probably ruin it for me. I know that seems fuked up considering she's free to do what she wants since we aren't exclusive, but still. Thinking about someone I like getting banged by other dudes in between seeing me isn't a pleasant thought.
    Last edited by AshkenaziJew; 06-28-2020 at 06:18 PM.
    Reply With Quote

  24. #24
    Registered User Legz422's Avatar
    Join Date: Sep 2017
    Age: 51
    Posts: 22,009
    Rep Power: 254412
    Legz422 has a reputation beyond repute. Second best rank possible! (+100000) Legz422 has a reputation beyond repute. Second best rank possible! (+100000) Legz422 has a reputation beyond repute. Second best rank possible! (+100000) Legz422 has a reputation beyond repute. Second best rank possible! (+100000) Legz422 has a reputation beyond repute. Second best rank possible! (+100000) Legz422 has a reputation beyond repute. Second best rank possible! (+100000) Legz422 has a reputation beyond repute. Second best rank possible! (+100000) Legz422 has a reputation beyond repute. Second best rank possible! (+100000) Legz422 has a reputation beyond repute. Second best rank possible! (+100000) Legz422 has a reputation beyond repute. Second best rank possible! (+100000) Legz422 has a reputation beyond repute. Second best rank possible! (+100000)
    Legz422 is online now
    Originally Posted by AshkenaziJew View Post
    That's actually a really good point. We've been having sex without a condom (she's on birth control) and neither of us have brought up the other partners conversation. I'm not sure if this means that she assumes there's already some exclusivity, or she's just... More wild than I think and isn't worried about catching STDs.
    If you're having unprotected sex I'd get on that talk ASAP. If she's out there having sex with a bunch of guys you're at risk. F having sex with someone who's sleeping around. Not worth it. Even using a condom doesn't protect against herpes or HPV.
    Unapproved sig line
    Reply With Quote

  25. #25
    Copeaesthetic HangingChad's Avatar
    Join Date: May 2018
    Posts: 298
    Rep Power: 1888
    HangingChad is just really nice. (+1000) HangingChad is just really nice. (+1000) HangingChad is just really nice. (+1000) HangingChad is just really nice. (+1000) HangingChad is just really nice. (+1000) HangingChad is just really nice. (+1000) HangingChad is just really nice. (+1000) HangingChad is just really nice. (+1000) HangingChad is just really nice. (+1000) HangingChad is just really nice. (+1000) HangingChad is just really nice. (+1000)
    HangingChad is offline
    Originally Posted by AshkenaziJew View Post
    Date last night went well. Then we worked out together today at my dad's house (home gym is there). We're also are planning on going to Dave & Buster's Saturday. But she's getting a new mattress tomorrow (big deal for her since she's been sleeping on her couch), so I was planning on hitting her up tomorrow saying we should workout Tuesday, grab dinner, then "break in" her new mattress.
    Great that the date went well! Not sure about trying to see her for three out of four days. Sat into Sun, then again Tues with only Monday off, right? Everyone's got their own styles but if you could come across as clingy. As far as attraction goes, I think letting the anticipation build only helps it get stronger. To each his own though.

    I agree with the posts above about discussing partners. If you're not using a condom you should have that talk. I wouldn't do it in a passive way but be assertive and voice your expectations/boundaries. For me, if I'm having unprotected sex with a woman I expect her to only be doing that with me and I would make that clear. It doesn't mean we're bf/gf, she can still talk to other guys or whatever.
    物の哀れ
    Reply With Quote

  26. #26
    Registered User AshkenaziJew's Avatar
    Join Date: Jun 2020
    Age: 50
    Posts: 49
    Rep Power: 0
    AshkenaziJew has no reputation, good or bad yet. (0) AshkenaziJew has no reputation, good or bad yet. (0) AshkenaziJew has no reputation, good or bad yet. (0) AshkenaziJew has no reputation, good or bad yet. (0) AshkenaziJew has no reputation, good or bad yet. (0) AshkenaziJew has no reputation, good or bad yet. (0) AshkenaziJew has no reputation, good or bad yet. (0) AshkenaziJew has no reputation, good or bad yet. (0) AshkenaziJew has no reputation, good or bad yet. (0) AshkenaziJew has no reputation, good or bad yet. (0) AshkenaziJew has no reputation, good or bad yet. (0)
    AshkenaziJew is offline
    Originally Posted by HangingChad View Post
    Great that the date went well! Not sure about trying to see her for three out of four days. Sat into Sun, then again Tues with only Monday off, right? Everyone's got their own styles but if you could come across as clingy. As far as attraction goes, I think letting the anticipation build only helps it get stronger. To each his own though.

    I agree with the posts above about discussing partners. If you're not using a condom you should have that talk. I wouldn't do it in a passive way but be assertive and voice your expectations/boundaries. For me, if I'm having unprotected sex with a woman I expect her to only be doing that with me and I would make that clear. It doesn't mean we're bf/gf, she can still talk to other guys or whatever.
    You're not wrong. When I first start seeing someone I usually try to only see them once a week, which was what we did early on too. The last couple weeks we've seen each other twice a week though. And I just figured the natural progression (from fuk buddy to more relationshippy) would be to do more "regular" and non-sexual things together--like how we worked out together yesterday for a couple hours and that was it. During our workout yesterday I also offered to help her move the mattress, which is supposed to come today, into her 5th floor apartment if she needed help, but the shipment company will probably do it. I kinda expect that once she gets the mattress set up today she'll send me a pic of it all excited, and it would be fairly easy (and hopefully not clingy) to say something like "nice! we should test it out tomorrow night ". Then the next time we'd see each other would be saturday for dave & busters.

    Kinda dread having that partner talk.. I mean, it could be as easy as her saying she's not seeing anyone else, but it could also be as bad as her saying she is seeing other people, me asking how many, and it's Bob, Jim, Joe, Ted, Brad, etc. That would be a bit of a crushing blow at this point and I'd have to take a couple steps back from her and re-evaluate things if she wasn't willing to be exclusive. I'm half-assed talking to other women on dating apps just to keep some options open so I'm not beaten AND alone in case things suddenly go downhill, but it still feels weird.
    Reply With Quote

  27. #27
    Registered User skinnyfat88's Avatar
    Join Date: Apr 2014
    Location: Canada
    Age: 32
    Posts: 3,053
    Rep Power: 10909
    skinnyfat88 is a splendid one to behold. (+10000) skinnyfat88 is a splendid one to behold. (+10000) skinnyfat88 is a splendid one to behold. (+10000) skinnyfat88 is a splendid one to behold. (+10000) skinnyfat88 is a splendid one to behold. (+10000) skinnyfat88 is a splendid one to behold. (+10000) skinnyfat88 is a splendid one to behold. (+10000) skinnyfat88 is a splendid one to behold. (+10000) skinnyfat88 is a splendid one to behold. (+10000) skinnyfat88 is a splendid one to behold. (+10000) skinnyfat88 is a splendid one to behold. (+10000)
    skinnyfat88 is offline
    I think the exclusive talk is totally justifiable if you're sleeping together without protection. Hypothetically speaking, if she's not willing to commit to only sleeping with one person w/o protection you prob have your answer right there as to whether or not she's "relationship material."
    Reply With Quote

  28. #28
    Registered User waymoreflythanu's Avatar
    Join Date: Mar 2012
    Age: 32
    Posts: 249
    Rep Power: 446
    waymoreflythanu has a spectacular aura about. (+250) waymoreflythanu has a spectacular aura about. (+250) waymoreflythanu has a spectacular aura about. (+250) waymoreflythanu has a spectacular aura about. (+250) waymoreflythanu has a spectacular aura about. (+250) waymoreflythanu has a spectacular aura about. (+250) waymoreflythanu has a spectacular aura about. (+250) waymoreflythanu has a spectacular aura about. (+250) waymoreflythanu has a spectacular aura about. (+250) waymoreflythanu has a spectacular aura about. (+250) waymoreflythanu has a spectacular aura about. (+250)
    waymoreflythanu is offline
    Trust your gut man, for real. Sure you can take people's advice on here about being exclusive and ****, but honestly man I think you should trust your gut and keep things chill. Let her bring it up IMHO

    How your acting with her is fine, but I'm willing to bet at some point she's gonna pull back on you, cancel a date or stop communication a little. Which is fine if you pull back too, don't chase her.
    Reply With Quote

  29. #29
    Registered User AshkenaziJew's Avatar
    Join Date: Jun 2020
    Age: 50
    Posts: 49
    Rep Power: 0
    AshkenaziJew has no reputation, good or bad yet. (0) AshkenaziJew has no reputation, good or bad yet. (0) AshkenaziJew has no reputation, good or bad yet. (0) AshkenaziJew has no reputation, good or bad yet. (0) AshkenaziJew has no reputation, good or bad yet. (0) AshkenaziJew has no reputation, good or bad yet. (0) AshkenaziJew has no reputation, good or bad yet. (0) AshkenaziJew has no reputation, good or bad yet. (0) AshkenaziJew has no reputation, good or bad yet. (0) AshkenaziJew has no reputation, good or bad yet. (0) AshkenaziJew has no reputation, good or bad yet. (0)
    AshkenaziJew is offline
    UPDATE:

    Took all advice into account about us not using condoms, feels, etc. and ended up telling her we should talk about "what we're doing"--are we FWB, dating, or is this a rebound. She said she "likes where we are" and she's not sleeping with anyone else currently, which I do believe. But I also took this as she might be talking to/randomly going on dates once in a while with other people. It's also obvious she doesn't want to rush into anything serious given that she's just out of a LTR. Understandable. I didn't try to go into any more detail with the talk. She actually seemed even more cuddly/lovey-dovey than usual after that talk. Maybe she had the same thing on her mind.

    I'm going to continue talking to other women, but just casually (to protect myself) and won't actually meetup with anyone unless our "relationship" takes a sharp decline, which I know it could given the situation.
    Reply With Quote

  30. #30
    Football Prophet drvillain's Avatar
    Join Date: Jan 2010
    Posts: 35,843
    Rep Power: 173616
    drvillain has a reputation beyond repute. Second best rank possible! (+100000) drvillain has a reputation beyond repute. Second best rank possible! (+100000) drvillain has a reputation beyond repute. Second best rank possible! (+100000) drvillain has a reputation beyond repute. Second best rank possible! (+100000) drvillain has a reputation beyond repute. Second best rank possible! (+100000) drvillain has a reputation beyond repute. Second best rank possible! (+100000) drvillain has a reputation beyond repute. Second best rank possible! (+100000) drvillain has a reputation beyond repute. Second best rank possible! (+100000) drvillain has a reputation beyond repute. Second best rank possible! (+100000) drvillain has a reputation beyond repute. Second best rank possible! (+100000) drvillain has a reputation beyond repute. Second best rank possible! (+100000)
    drvillain is online now
    Originally Posted by AshkenaziJew View Post
    UPDATE:

    Took all advice into account about us not using condoms, feels, etc. and ended up telling her we should talk about "what we're doing"-
    -are we FWB, dating, or is this a rebound. She said she "likes where we are" and she's not sleeping with anyone else currently, which I do believe. But I also took this as she might be talking to/randomly going on dates once in a while with other people. It's also obvious she doesn't want to rush into anything serious given that she's just out of a LTR. Understandable. I didn't try to go into any more detail with the talk. She actually seemed even more cuddly/lovey-dovey than usual after that talk. Maybe she had the same thing on her mind.

    I'm going to continue talking to other women, but just casually (to protect myself) and won't actually meetup with anyone unless our "relationship" takes a sharp decline, which I know it could given the situation.
    I haven't read a single post ITT except for this... Who the hell told you to ask her this?!? wat in gods name?!

    edit: Ok read the OP...

    Based on the info you already had... you should know the answer to your AWFUL question already. She just got out of a LTR. Why would she want to rush into another one? Not only did you demasculate yourself by asking this, but you also revealed that you are way too invested into this. What if she just wants someone to have fun with? Why can't you just let things naturally progress? If she likes you and thinks highly of you, SHE will be the one asking that question.


    I'm sorry for not seeing this thread earlier OP... whoever told you to ask that question has failed you.

    2nd edit: Looks like it was female miscers..
    Ohio State buckeyes & Atlanta Falcons
    Reply With Quote

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts