When you see your ex settle for someone not as good as you...Do you get confused? By not as good as you, I mean not kind/smart/rich/funny/classy/good-looking/talented (all at once).
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06-12-2020, 08:58 AM #1Banned
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When you see your ex settle for someone not as good as you...
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06-12-2020, 09:08 AM #2Registered User
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Lol, you have overvalued yourself.
She left you to marry him, he's obviously the winner here so that makes you the loser. Regardless of the material things you have.Thus let me live, unseen, unknown;
Thus unlamented let me die;
Steal from the world, and not a stone
Tell where I lie.
2/17/15 - Dunk Tank Results: 15% bf (Omron said 18.6%) - 123.4 lbs LBM
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06-12-2020, 09:11 AM #3Banned
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Actually, on the contrary, I think I dodged a bullet.
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06-12-2020, 09:21 AM #4Registered User
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Then what are you whinging about?Originally Posted by PeopleOfTheSun
You should be rejoicing and never bring her up again. Yet you make at least two threads a week related to your ex. lol.Thus let me live, unseen, unknown;
Thus unlamented let me die;
Steal from the world, and not a stone
Tell where I lie.
2/17/15 - Dunk Tank Results: 15% bf (Omron said 18.6%) - 123.4 lbs LBM
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06-12-2020, 09:27 AM #5Banned
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Just because I dodged a bullet, doesn't mean I'm over my ex. Why the heck are you shaming me for making threads about my ex? A lot of people on this forum make threads about their exes too. Some of us just want some insight so we can slowly get closure. You saying that I am not good enough for my ex isn't helping, because I never asked your opinion on if I was good enough for my ex. That I already know, and I don't need YOU to make assumptions.
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06-12-2020, 09:32 AM #6Banned
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Based off your post history, she didn't settle. Your ego is laughable and you'll stay single until you realize you aren't as wonderful as you think you are.
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06-12-2020, 09:35 AM #7Banned
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Jesus, I can't believe you two are trying to gaslight me. No comment.
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06-12-2020, 09:39 AM #8Banned
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Dude. Grow up and get off the poor me trip. If you were as great as you think you are, you wouldn't have an ex. You walk on the same ground as everyone else so accept the fact that you aren't on a pedestalOriginally Posted by PeopleOfTheSun
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06-12-2020, 09:47 AM #9Banned
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I never said that you should pity me for any reason because I don't think of myself as a victim. I just want to know if anyone else here is confused about being traded for someone else who clearly isn't up to the standard you set.
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06-12-2020, 10:19 AM #10Never accept defeat!
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Women date drug dealers, guys with criminal records, guys who actually beat their girlfriends etc.
Don't try to make sense of who a woman dates after you. It's irrelevant.
It's also not a competition between you and the next 100 guys she'll be hooking up with.
Focus on yourself, keep your head up and keep moving forward instead of looking backward.Cobra Kai never dies!
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06-12-2020, 10:30 AM #11Banned
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Thanks backinthegymbro for the great response! Now I have a question. What if the roles are reversed? Why do some guys date beneath their ex?
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06-12-2020, 10:50 AM #12Registered User
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What makes you think she settled for someone that isn't better than you?
If she see's something in him that makes her happy than that's all that matters.
This upgrade/downgrade stuff screams insecurity.
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06-12-2020, 11:02 AM #13Banned
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I have my reasons to believe that my ex's new partner isn't as good as me. I rather not say why on a forum because I don't want to possibly list traits that someone out there might catch on that it's me. Anyway, I don't think I'm insecure. I think I just have OCD about my ex because I have OCD-like symptoms with people that I date(d).
Anyway, I kind of want someone to answer my last question. I want to know why some guys date down. I like to see insight from all different angles so that I can put together better conclusions.
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06-12-2020, 11:07 AM #14Registered User
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Too answer your question, no I don't get confused. They probably have qualities/traits that are attractive that I don't have.
Thats the reason you see a lot of people with others you would not expect them to be with.
Status/security doesnt mean **** if your spouse isn't happy.
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06-12-2020, 11:17 AM #15Banned
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Thank you Beararms. The answer I was looking for just came to me from your post. My ex's new partner does indeed have something beautiful that I don't have. I won't say what it is, but I know that I'd rather not have that beautiful trait.
I'm happy with the qualities that I have and would rather be me.
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06-12-2020, 12:20 PM #16Registered User
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Every minute you waste thinking about what could've been is a lost opportunity of what could be. Perhaps get out of the past and live in the now to correct whatever shortcomings you have that caused her to leave you.Originally Posted by PeopleOfTheSun
Not once have I seen you mention why anyone would want to be with you.
x2Originally Posted by Iceman1800
Thus let me live, unseen, unknown;
Thus unlamented let me die;
Steal from the world, and not a stone
Tell where I lie.
2/17/15 - Dunk Tank Results: 15% bf (Omron said 18.6%) - 123.4 lbs LBM
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06-12-2020, 12:27 PM #17Keanu Reeves Checking In
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Why are you so concerned with who people date?Originally Posted by PeopleOfTheSun
People date others for a myriad of reasons, there's no template to it. You don't know the full story and likely never will."So there I am sitting in the waiting area of the hair salon with my niece and Keanu Reeves walks in. I was nervous as ****, but too scared to say anything to him. Then my niece started crying, and I’m trying to quiet her down because I don't want to bother him. Pretty soon he walks over and asks what's wrong. I replied that she was probably hungry. He put down his magazine, picked up my niece, and lifted up his shirt, and breastfed her right there in the salon. Chill guy, really nice about it."
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06-12-2020, 12:27 PM #18Registered User
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Obviously he is better than you for her. Donesn't mean he should be better over all. If you lose someone that doesn't view you as a prise - it's not much of a lose anyway.
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06-13-2020, 01:57 AM #19Banned
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I know that feeling man. my ex is dating a balding red neck looking dude. such is life.
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06-13-2020, 08:42 AM #20Transracial gigaTyrone
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Everyone leaves because they thought they could do better.
You probably believed that they could not.
If they settle with someone lower, it means you were right. They also realized they were wrong that they could do better, that realization may only be a subconscious realization. Women have a very strong ability to lie to themselves and live in what is basically a super cope reality. So they probably have 10 levels of mental gymnastics telling themselves how they are doing better with whatever alcoholic loser with a criminal record they are with now but deep down know they will never do better than you and made a bad decision.
If this was only a girlfriend and not an ex wife then you should be super happy she didnt take half your chit with her and is sharing half your life's earnings with whatever reject she has chosen as her cope mate.
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