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  1. #1
    Registered User Dale1988's Avatar
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    Why do normal girls not date muscular men long term?

    While muscles attracts whores for either short term or long term relationships. Normal girls do not seem to care and seem to avoid dating muscular men.
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  2. #2
    Here's beer Mr Beer's Avatar
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    I will read and review 100 books this year: https://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=176675491

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    I could answer this but you won’t like it
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    Quarantined Finja Cass40's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Rabbitjb View Post
    I could answer this but you won’t like it
    I can do it.


    Women don't usually like men that care about vanity, or be too into their own looks because it's not a masculine trait.

    We do love psychopaths though, so sometimes they do care about appearance like American Psycho way, but you have to be dominant to pull it off.

    Ok...the last part was not what Rabbitjb woulda said but hey I have to put my own flair to things to spice things up..
    I would like to talk to the manager
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    Oh I dunno ..strong points on vanity and obsession, also lack of relaxed fun

    I appreciate the way you neatly sidestepped the fact that bodybuilders generally look like meatheads and you simply don’t expect them to be bright or witty, so they have to work extra hard to be charming / prove their intellectual / social / moral worth

    Not saying it’s fair but it’s true

    There’s a difference between good physique to women and good physique to bodybuilders (in general there are always exceptions)

    For you

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  6. #6
    Registered User Dale1988's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Rabbitjb View Post
    Oh I dunno ..strong points on vanity and obsession, also lack of relaxed fun

    I appreciate the way you neatly sidestepped the fact that bodybuilders generally look like meatheads and you simply don’t expect them to be bright or witty, so they have to work extra hard to be charming / prove their intellectual / social / moral worth

    Not saying it’s fair but it’s true

    There’s a difference between good physique to women and good physique to bodybuilders (in general there are always exceptions)

    For you

    yeah seems like if you have a bodyuilder physique they assume you try to hard and are a wierdo.

    If you are an average guy with tiny muscles but muscles your probably better off
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  7. #7
    Registered User sandman2019's Avatar
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    I don't know man two problems

    1 - if you have a good physique you will attract narcissistic girls (my experience) who are no good.

    2 - I feel like girls deep down don't want a long term partner who is way better looking then them. I had this experience my last girlfriend would always abuse me and insult me. I think it's because she didn't like how much "better" I was than her. Now she is dating an ugly guy who looks like crap but I bet she feels more comfortable with him.


    so al lin all, being jacked and aesthetic can be bad for relationships. It also makes girls insecure as ****

    I've slept with 10+ girls and I swear 80% of them have felt insecure with me. Saying "how do you get abs" and they always point to htei stomacah and ****. it makes them insecure and uncomfortable. Allbeit, I bang 4-6/10s. Maybe a 7+/10 wouldn't care.

    just my 2 cents.
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  8. #8
    Registered User Dale1988's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by sandman2019 View Post
    I don't know man two problems

    1 - if you have a good physique you will attract narcissistic girls (my experience) who are no good.

    2 - I feel like girls deep down don't want a long term partner who is way better looking then them. I had this experience my last girlfriend would always abuse me and insult me. I think it's because she didn't like how much "better" I was than her. Now she is dating an ugly guy who looks like crap but I bet she feels more comfortable with him.


    so al lin all, being jacked and aesthetic can be bad for relationships. It also makes girls insecure as ****

    I've slept with 10+ girls and I swear 80% of them have felt insecure with me. Saying "how do you get abs" and they always point to htei stomacah and ****. it makes them insecure and uncomfortable. Allbeit, I bang 4-6/10s. Maybe a 7+/10 wouldn't care.

    just my 2 cents.
    Yeah I feel most relationships I've been in girls would discourage me hitting the gym lots and taking cell tech.
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  9. #9
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    It's called LOA

    Law of Attraction

    Look into it and you shall be set free.
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  10. #10
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    Originally Posted by Cass40 View Post
    I can do it.


    Women don't usually like men that care about vanity, or be too into their own looks because it's not a masculine trait.

    We do love psychopaths though, so sometimes they do care about appearance like American Psycho way, but you have to be dominant to pull it off.

    Ok...the last part was not what Rabbitjb woulda said but hey I have to put my own flair to things to spice things up..
    What if you look good and lift weights out of wanting to do it for yourself and being as healthy as possible?

    Right now I feel like I put off a lot of women because I feel like they judge me for those very same reasons you describe.

    "Never judge a book by its cover" applies here. Its really frustrating me lately. As an introverted guy it makes my situation even worse. I suppose its a product of the society we live in these days.
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  11. #11
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    Originally Posted by sandman2019 View Post
    I don't know man two problems

    1 - if you have a good physique you will attract narcissistic girls (my experience) who are no good.

    2 - I feel like girls deep down don't want a long term partner who is way better looking then them. I had this experience my last girlfriend would always abuse me and insult me. I think it's because she didn't like how much "better" I was than her. Now she is dating an ugly guy who looks like crap but I bet she feels more comfortable with him.


    so al lin all, being jacked and aesthetic can be bad for relationships. It also makes girls insecure as ****

    I've slept with 10+ girls and I swear 80% of them have felt insecure with me. Saying "how do you get abs" and they always point to htei stomacah and ****. it makes them insecure and uncomfortable. Allbeit, I bang 4-6/10s. Maybe a 7+/10 wouldn't care.

    just my 2 cents.
    It’s simply not the fact that a male can be better looking partner, it’s the vanity, narcissism and put me on a pedestal attitude that comes with it

    Just like you wouldn’t be happy long term with a woman who thinks of nothing but her appearance, why would a woman be happy with a man who is taking an almost feminine position

    Your ex was probably trying to knock you down a peg or two, not justifying it but that’s probably where it came from

    Cos deep down we really don’t want our men to be that concerned with how they look ..there’s enough pressure on women to be physically appealing why would we want our menfolk giving off the same vibe?

    Just my 2 cents
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  12. #12
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    Protip, the more time she thinks you spend in the gym the less attracted she is. Play it off as good genetics instead of tryhard 5 day a week gym routines, and try to not talk about the gym at all.

    I cucked myself quite hard by doing that in the past. Significantly worse to talk about it if you’re DYEL in her eyes
    What people lack in genetics they can make up for in dedication

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    Originally Posted by Rabbitjb View Post
    It’s simply not the fact that a male can be better looking partner, it’s the vanity, narcissism and put me on a pedestal attitude that comes with it

    Just like you wouldn’t be happy long term with a woman who thinks of nothing but her appearance, why would a woman be happy with a man who is taking an almost feminine position

    Your ex was probably trying to knock you down a peg or two, not justifying it but that’s probably where it came from

    Cos deep down we really don’t want our men to be that concerned with how they look ..there’s enough pressure on women to be physically appealing why would we want our menfolk giving off the same vibe?

    Just my 2 cents
    HBBs want someone with high SMV and who she thinks doesn’t have to strive to maintain it so much
    What people lack in genetics they can make up for in dedication

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  14. #14
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    Originally Posted by trapspot View Post
    HBBs want someone with high SMV and who she thinks doesn’t have to strive to maintain it so much
    That’s the key though

    For men it has to look effortless, otherwise it’s unattractive
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  15. #15
    Registered User imbeingcereal's Avatar
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    It's because outside of the misc and the idiots that unnecessarily start **** at bars, nobody cares about "how hard I'm mogging you" in real life. There's definitely some innate attraction to muscular guys from the cavemen era, which is why you still see girls fawning over them in bars, but there's no guarantee they'll keep the girl long-term if their personality consists of TUT and macros recommendations.

    Also, the bar for being considered muscular/fit isn't as high as the misc thinks it is. Dudes like Zac Efron are considered "big" by most girls. As long as you're lean (say <15% and can see outline of abs in most lighting) and touch weights occasionally to not look like a skeletor distance runner, you'll check the body category for all girls outside of instagram booty models.
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    Registered User Legz422's Avatar
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    I'm not into the big bodybuilder juiced up look, but I do like muscles and I have no problem with a guy working hard for a good physique. I work hard for mine, why would I judge someone else for doing the same? Now would I want someone who's obsessed and can't take a day off or won't go out and have fun? Of course not, but you can have a balance and look great.

    Originally Posted by imbeingcereal View Post
    It's because outside of the misc and the idiots that unnecessarily start **** at bars, nobody cares about "how hard I'm mogging you" in real life. There's definitely some innate attraction to muscular guys from the cavemen era, which is why you still see girls fawning over them in bars, but there's no guarantee they'll keep the girl long-term if their personality consists of TUT and macros recommendations.

    Also, the bar for being considered muscular/fit isn't as high as the misc thinks it is. Dudes like Zac Efron are considered "big" by most girls. As long as you're lean (say <15% and can see outline of abs in most lighting) and touch weights occasionally to not look like a skeletor distance runner, you'll check the body category for all girls outside of instagram booty models.
    Last paragraph is true. I prefer the lean natty otter mode look.
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  17. #17
    Registered User Voidgaze's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Rabbitjb View Post
    That’s the key though

    For men it has to look effortless, otherwise it’s unattractive
    That seems really unfair for below average men who have to put in some kind of noticable effort just to get some female attention. But life isn't fair I suppose.
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    Registered User Legz422's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Voidgaze View Post
    That seems really unfair for below average men who have to put in some kind of noticable effort just to get some female attention. But life isn't fair I suppose.
    I don't think there is anything wrong with putting in noticeable effort as long as you have a life balance and aren't obsessed.
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    I don't think the average 'normal type' of girls is unattracted to muscles at all. Most normal girls are usually just more cautious because of the prejudice towards people who are very muscular.

    But if you play your cards right you can very easily overcome this brah

    Originally Posted by trapspot View Post
    Protip, the more time she thinks you spend in the gym the less attracted she is. Play it off as good genetics instead of tryhard 5 day a week gym routines, and try to not talk about the gym at all.

    I cucked myself quite hard by doing that in the past. Significantly worse to talk about it if you’re DYEL in her eyes
    Much like discussing cars, politics, and finances talking about the gym constantly is not appreciated, discuss these topics with guys lmao
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  20. #20
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    Originally Posted by Voidgaze View Post
    That seems really unfair for below average men who have to put in some kind of noticable effort just to get some female attention. But life isn't fair I suppose.
    Putting in the effort is totally fine. That’s what both genders do to be fair, you think all the pics of girls they slaver over didn’t take effort ?

    Just don’t bang on about it
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  21. #21
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    Tbh, women can be very intimidated by huge muscles, srs, I'm pretty big and when women see me they have this look like they are thinking ''that man can rip my limbs apart with his bare hands, he's scary, too big, too much physical strength'' and it's true, also we can appear to be the ''angry'' type, the type that can get angry easily, and be filled with rage, possibly even able to kill someone with our bare hands. The truth is, women dgaf about guys like me, with huge muscles
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    Registered User Voidgaze's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Rabbitjb View Post
    Putting in the effort is totally fine. That’s what both genders do to be fair, you think all the pics of girls they slaver over didn’t take effort ?

    Just don’t bang on about it
    Fair enough.

    As for female effort, yeah I totally notice the use of filters, and angles. Too much of it is off putting, so I guess I can understand how overcompensating can be unattractive.
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    Originally Posted by Voidgaze View Post
    Fair enough.

    As for female effort, yeah I totally notice the use of filters, and angles. Too much of it is off putting, so I guess I can understand how overcompensating can be unattractive.
    That’s fakery like the million and one photos, then the filtering and shopping that both men and women seem to do nowadays

    The effort comes from hair salons, home treatments, hair removal, skincare, make up, clothes, manicures, pedicures - all that stuff takes time and expense which is why a whole heap of us just don’t bother unless we are “treating or pampering ourselves” (yeah, we’ve managed to convince ourselves these things are treats despite the pain)

    On top of the joint gender areas of diet, exercise, skincare, teeth care
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    It really doesn't even matter honestly. The personality that comes with bodybuilding may be a turn off to some women. But the physique itself is not. On the contrary, it's not like a huge upside either - just a bonus.
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    Bodybuilders are attractive to crazy women with huge red flags. It is shown over and over on this forum. Throw in illegal drugs and you get a huge destruction of relationships.
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    Originally Posted by Hardlifter9 View Post
    It really doesn't even matter honestly. The personality that comes with bodybuilding may be a turn off to some women. But the physique itself is not. On the contrary, it's not like a huge upside either - just a bonus.
    Theres a limit particularly with over developing arms and lats before a negative correlation starts to happen for most women tbh
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    Originally Posted by Rabbitjb View Post
    Theres a limit particularly with over developing arms and lats before a negative correlation starts to happen for most women tbh
    Yeah probably. But overall I think it just doesn't make a huge difference either way.
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    Originally Posted by Hardlifter9 View Post
    Yeah probably. But overall I think it just doesn't make a huge difference either way.
    Just avoid the “meathead” stereotype
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    I see a lot of stereotypes being tossed around in this thread... meathead , self obsessed etc. etc.. etc...

    How about the fact that most women aren't worth putting my training on hold for.. just having a vagina doesn't mean you earn that number 1 spot in my life. And this for a fact pissed off most women I dated. And funny enough most guys I know who have a substantial amount of LBM , who at a glance would likely get labeled a "meathead" are college educated.

    But end of the day.. muscle or not... looks will only get them to bite , longterm your personality is what is going to keep them there. even if you offer to wash their panties on your abs
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    Originally Posted by 1slo5oh View Post
    I see a lot of stereotypes being tossed around in this thread... meathead , self obsessed etc. etc.. etc...

    How about the fact that most women aren't worth putting my training on hold for.. just having a vagina doesn't mean you earn that number 1 spot in my life. And this for a fact pissed off most women I dated. And funny enough most guys I know who have a substantial amount of LBM , who at a glance would likely get labeled a "meathead" are college educated.

    But end of the day.. muscle or not... looks will only get them to bite , longterm your personality is what is going to keep them there. even if you offer to wash their panties on your abs
    You don’t think that’s how women feel about “most men”

    Or gay men feel about “most men”

    Or lesbians ....well you get the point
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