TTT VI - Quarantine Edition - Sex-nuts and Ret*rd Strong

[Vexidi]

An All or Nothing situation. No separation to work on it.

At this point you shouldn't give a fuk about her demands and do what you feel YOU need to do. If you separate and she immediately wants a divorce instead of working it out then it's prob meant to be.

[jamalfudge]

Tough day. Didn't sleep all night. Broke the news about the rental and that I wanted to separate and try. She demanded no separation, divorce or stay. Now I am waffling. Sucks.

Stick to your guns man. She needs to know she can't use anybody as a doormat.

Don’t see how you guys day drink
The minute my blood alcohol starts to drop, it’s instant coma mode for me

Guess the secret is, don’t let it drop

Dunno how it all works but yeah if I stop drinking for an hour or so while day drinking I'll usually crash early in the evening. The hard part was last spring lockdown, start drinking early and not stopping until normal time.

We also got in the habit of getting McDonald's breakfast every Sunday. During first part of lockdown, wife would go grocery shopping early Sunday and bring back breakfast. Never got out of that habit. Been wondering where the extra cals have been coming from over the last 6-10 months and finally realized the other day it's the McMuffins.

[TXBuddy]

if you told her you need time to separate , moved into rental, you think she’s serving you with papers?
Don’t know if she’s a big talker/bluffer

Not sure. She doesn't have a ready attorney. I do. She IS a bluffer, but I take it every single time. Mainly because it's serious business.

At this point you shouldn't give a fuk about her demands and do what you feel YOU need to do. If you separate and she immediately wants a divorce instead of working it out then it's prob meant to be.

It's just tough because she made a new years resolution to be better and give me a break. This week she has really been nice, it's been great. But i had already leased the house and had to say something, so she feel slighted. I am just Skeptical Hippo like usual. Now I am up against the wall. I would like to counter with a separation again this evening; see if she bites this time.

[Fawnl]

TX, I think if she wants to work on it, she will. If you going to the rental so that no one gets hurt and stops the fights from escalating is what you need, do it. You’re not going to another woman, you’re going to find peace for fukk sakes.

Eng, there is a conference today at 3. But no, they are not going back. The whole thing is orchestrated. At first during the pandemic, maybe they didn’t know, but they sure as hell do now and this has been planned since November. Somehow, now, the kids are getting infected and at risk. All because of holiday gatherings the transmission rates went up 116% in kids in Ontario. The kids were all together before that too?! But “the schools being open was not a risk and there was very little transmission in the classroom”. It’s such a crock.

[TXBuddy]

TX, I think if she wants to work on it, she will. If you going to the rental so that no one gets hurt and stops the fights from escalating is what you need, do it. You’re not going to another woman, you’re going to find peace for fukk sakes.

Wish I could explain more here.

[twovalvekid]

If she's so hard and dug on on ultimatums....oof :-/

[litljay]

Tx - wish I had the perfect words of wisdom for you, but I don't. Hang in there man with whatever decision you make.

does it get in the wife’s blood stream faster that way? That’s some freaky stuff Jay

Please tell me you are trolling...and know what a "finger" measurement is.

Happy Birthday, J!!

Thanks Bitty.

Happy birthday buddy!!!!

We are believers in “is it 12 o’clock yet”. Day drinking is my preferred time to drink but then I stop... not sure why that is. At least it was when I drank a lot. Matt is drinking ALOT these days. Especially whisky. Which is fairly new for him. Since rona started I guess. But he will go through a 60 in a week.

Thanks Fawn. Love to day drink. I guess I have it down to a science now with how much/fast I drink. Can go from afternoon to evening easily. Though, after I eat something substantial, the beer has to stop and I switch to a vodka drink of some kind (red bull, tonic, or something). When it get close to bed time, it's a whiskey. Currently have a bottle of Pendelton Rye I'm sipping on. It's ok. Don't know if I'll buy it again.

Happy Bday J!

Thanks JR

[engj]

Eng, there is a conference today at 3. But no, they are not going back. The whole thing is orchestrated. At first during the pandemic, maybe they didn’t know, but they sure as hell do now and this has been planned since November. Somehow, now, the kids are getting infected and at risk. All because of holiday gatherings the transmission rates went up 116% in kids in Ontario. The kids were all together before that too?! But “the schools being open was not a risk and there was very little transmission in the classroom”. It’s such a crock.

How long have yours been out?

Ours went back first week of September, and then we shut down one week early for holidays with 1 week of home school the other side of the break.

We have another press conference this afternoon to get the update, on paper we should be opening restaurants and schools back up Monday.

[Vexidi]

It's just tough because she made a new years resolution to be better and give me a break. This week she has really been nice, it's been great. But i had already leased the house and had to say something, so she feel slighted. I am just Skeptical Hippo like usual. Now I am up against the wall. I would like to counter with a separation again this evening; see if she bites this time.

Tough situation to be in. I wouldn't let a short stint of niceness or her words sway your course though. Seems like there is a pattern of this. Good luck man.

[5x10]

Lol, I know what a finger is Jay

....so does my wife

[TBO1313]

Not sure. She doesn't have a ready attorney. I do. She IS a bluffer, but I take it every single time. Mainly because it's serious business.

It's just tough because she made a new years resolution to be better and give me a break. This week she has really been nice, it's been great. But i had already leased the house and had to say something, so she feel slighted. I am just Skeptical Hippo like usual. Now I am up against the wall. I would like to counter with a separation again this evening; see if she bites this time.

If you've already leased the house you are at the point of no return. Remember this isn't the first time she's promised to do better. Call her bluff and make her be the one to file. I'm usually not a fan of separations but I don't think you have another choice and she needs to know you are ded srs about the way she treats you. Hopefully after a few months she'll realize what she's losing and makes a permanent change for the better

[Fawnl]

How long have yours been out?

Ours went back first week of September, and then we shut down one week early for holidays with 1 week of home school the other side of the break.

We have another press conference this afternoon to get the update, on paper we should be opening restaurants and schools back up Monday.

Our lockdown started on Dec 26. So they went to school until Dec 18. Then we were told they go back Jan 11 (5 days online learning). Now we are being told they will be off for the full lockdown, until Jan 25.

What did your press conference day? Are they going back?

[TXBuddy]

We are discussing the Separation now, gently. She is concerned about the "grey area". Will I be talking to other girls, etc..ugh. I don't intend to because that's not the point, but I hate being put against the wall. I would be ok if she accepted a coffee or lunch...to see how it felt. But I know she would not reciprocate the sentiment. I hate that she is being so difficult when I spelled out the opportunities it could provide. I need space to reflect. Need to learn to respond to her without cursing and name calling, I have to re-train. I want to eventually ask her to lunch or a date. etc...I'm trying to be positive, she is offering up all the negatives.It's kind of infuriating.

[engj]

Our lockdown started on Dec 26. So they went to school until Dec 18. Then we were told they go back Jan 11 (5 days online learning). Now we are being told they will be off for the full lockdown, until Jan 25.

What did your press conference day? Are they going back?

Just went live.

Kids go back to in-person class Monday, restaurants takeout only for 2 more weeks.

[Vexidi]

bobs

[Vexidi]

Looks like we're gonna get some snow on Sunday night/Monday morning. First time in 5 years or so.

[Fawnl]

We are discussing the Separation now, gently. She is concerned about the "grey area". Will I be talking to other girls, etc..ugh. I don't intend to because that's not the point, but I hate being put against the wall. I would be ok if she accepted a coffee or lunch...to see how it felt. But I know she would not reciprocate the sentiment. I hate that she is being so difficult when I spelled out the opportunities it could provide. I need space to reflect. Need to learn to respond to her without cursing and name calling, I have to re-train. I want to eventually ask her to lunch or a date. etc...I'm trying to be positive, she is offering up all the negatives.It's kind of infuriating.

That would be really frustrating. The grey areas are really important as well though, to discuss and communicate thoroughly about. You have to be on the same page in this. And if your page is an actual separation, where you live different lives and date other people, she needs to understand that and you need to make that clear. I get the frustration in her bringing up the negatives but they do need to be discussed or you aren’t going to make any progress. I’m glad you guys are communicating about it. That’s a step in the right direction in itself. Just you getting to tell her your needs is great because she doesn’t sound like she listens much.

[litljay]

Happy Friday geezers. Thanks for the bobs vex. Sorely needed in here.

Wifey got a bunch of groceries to keep me busy on the griddle this weekend. Smash burgers are on the menu. Along with some fried rice of some sort. Not sure if we'll just to chicken again or try some other protein. I may eat the leftover rib eye for breakfast tomorrow morning.

[Fawnl]

Looks like we're gonna get some snow on Sunday night/Monday morning. First time in 5 years or so.

Sweet bobs. 5 years of no snow? Gross. How do you skidoo?

[TBO1313]

Looks like we're gonna get some snow on Sunday night/Monday morning. First time in 5 years or so.

We're supposed to get some at the same time. Hopefully its cold enough for snow and isn't freezing rain. The worst weather imaginable is 35 degrees with driving rain and high winds. We've had some snow but the last big accumulation was early January about 5 years ago. The airport was closed when me and the wife were heading back and had to rent a car in Houston, map out a path down I 10 to go south of the snow and then drive up so we'd only have about 60 miles worth of frozen over roads. It was wild lol. This was when I first found out that deep east Texas was a pretty cool place

[Vexidi]

Sweet bobs. 5 years of no snow? Gross. How do you skidoo?

We don't ski-doo, we sea-doo. Long time between snows around here. There was something like a 10 year stretch of nothing back when I was a kid so any time it snows even a little bit everything shuts down and people lose their minds.

We're supposed to get some at the same time. Hopefully its cold enough for snow and isn't freezing rain. The worst weather imaginable is 35 degrees with driving rain and high winds. We've had some snow but the last big accumulation was early January about 5 years ago. The airport was closed when me and the wife were heading back and had to rent a car in Houston, map out a path down I 10 to go south of the snow and then drive up so we'd only have about 60 miles worth of frozen over roads. It was wild lol. This was when I first found out that deep east Texas was a pretty cool place

Yeah that chit is the absolute worst. I like it around here, its not what people think of when they think of Texas.

[bitty_bish]

That would be really frustrating. The grey areas are really important as well though, to discuss and communicate thoroughly about. You have to be on the same page in this. And if your page is an actual separation, where you live different lives and date other people, she needs to understand that and you need to make that clear. I get the frustration in her bringing up the negatives but they do need to be discussed or you aren’t going to make any progress. I’m glad you guys are communicating about it. That’s a step in the right direction in itself. Just you getting to tell her your needs is great because she doesn’t sound like she listens much.

What Fawn said.

[5x10]

That would be really frustrating. The grey areas are really important as well though, to discuss and communicate thoroughly about. You have to be on the same page in this. And if your page is an actual separation, where you live different lives and date other people, she needs to understand that and you need to make that clear. I get the frustration in her bringing up the negatives but they do need to be discussed or you aren’t going to make any progress. I’m glad you guys are communicating about it. That’s a step in the right direction in itself. Just you getting to tell her your needs is great because she doesn’t sound like she listens much.

I don’t get seeing other people while separated
Might as well divorce if that’s the plan

[TBO1313]

I don’t get seeing other people while separated
Might as well divorce if that’s the plan

Same. If other people are being seen its over.

[GarthVader]

First painting of the new year.

[Fawnl]

I don’t get seeing other people while separated
Might as well divorce if that’s the plan

I think in some circumstances, it’s the first step to divorce. In others, it’s a step in realizing what you wanted was right there the whole time. The whole “grass is always greener” “you don’t know what you have until it’s gone”. I know a lot of people who have separated, lived their own lives and ended up back together. Self discovery and reflection can put you in some pretty interesting places. You can lose a lot of who you are as a person to marriage. I know I did. Matt and I never separated but i was one step away from walking out that door. I guess Matt thought that I would just always be there and that’s not reality.

It’s certainly not black and white... that could be a deal breaker for you/your wife and not a deal breaker for another couple. That’s why that aspect of separation needs to be discussed...

[gixxer0.6g]

We got dumped on late fall but that's been it which really sucks because tracking elk ain't easy without some fresh snow.

Can't ice fish either because if there is ice its way too thin to walk on.

Might have to take up video games like the rest of you nerds

[Fawnl]

We got dumped on late fall but that's been it which really sucks because tracking elk ain't easy without some fresh snow.

Can't ice fish either because if there is ice its way too thin to walk on.

Might have to take up video games like the rest of you nerds

We are having a less than snowy/cold winter, too. There is some snow.. but not enough for trails to be open. But there IS enough for animal tracks! Matt says there is a tonne of deer tracks, coyote, rabbits, and he thinks wolves. The prints are as big as my Newfs. And we have porkies out there that he found in a tree. Can you eat porkies? I’m jealous of your gutting/skinning skills. I don’t know how to do that yet. I don’t think I’m going to like it, to be honest...

[TXBuddy]

I think in some circumstances, it’s the first step to divorce. In others, it’s a step in realizing what you wanted was right there the whole time. The whole “grass is always greener” “you don’t know what you have until it’s gone”. I know a lot of people who have separated, lived their own lives and ended up back together. Self discovery and reflection can put you in some pretty interesting places. You can lose a lot of who you are as a person to marriage. I know I did. Matt and I never separated but i was one step away from walking out that door. I guess Matt thought that I would just always be there and that’s not reality.

It’s certainly not black and white... that could be a deal breaker for you/your wife and not a deal breaker for another couple. That’s why that aspect of separation needs to be discussed...

Agreed. This is also a test of her respecting my boundries as well as me reducing anxiety and self help. She is already trying to influence me buying less furniture and taking less stuff since I seems too permanent. Also inquiring about an end date. I will let the therapist address those.

[bitty_bish]

I don’t get seeing other people while separated
Might as well divorce if that’s the plan

I see your point, but, it is actually a great way to actually see that the grass isn't greener.

Doesn't really sound like TX is really interested in dating. He seems to need space...I actually think his wife does too.