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  1. #211
    Registered User Holyfenix's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by DillFunk View Post
    tl;dr

    but what kind of cuck throws a fit over partner's past?

    they've only got themselves to blame
    Dude tried to do his due diligence but she lied about it, he had slept with multiple partners and knew she had too, but sounds like she held A FUK TON back including getting gangbanged. The town slut wanted prince charming and knew the only way it was happening was if she lied.

    I feel bad for the dude. Hope he straight up ghosts her.

    Also would love to see the comment section, I bet its absolutely disgusting.
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  2. #212
    Registered User meanstringbean's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Jestbrah View Post
    Wont disagree on misc standards, but I could see this not being an "end the engagement" offense if she didnt hide it but regrets doing it and has no contact with the men from those days. Being engaged and staying in contact with people you used to fuk is trashy and not behavior I would accept in an engagement. One you accept a proposal, you stop talking to people you ****ed, you are vowing to marry a person for the rest of your life there is no room for former **** buddies in there.

    Having a past is a separate issue which some people can overlook and some can not, but still keeping contact with them is a current moral issue showing lack of moral progression.


    facebook friend =/= maintain contact. I am facebook friends with tons of girls Ive been with because we added each other years ago when seeing each other, but dont contact each other any more. Going through and deleting someone is just a waste of time and petty


    if she was still in contact with them then would agree 100%
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  3. #213
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    Originally Posted by Holyfenix View Post
    Dude tried to do his due diligence but she lied about it, he had slept with multiple partners and knew she had too, but sounds like she held A FUK TON back including getting gangbanged. The town slut wanted prince charming and knew the only way it was happening was if she lied.

    I feel bad for the dude. Hope he straight up ghosts her.

    Also would love to see the comment section, I bet its absolutely disgusting.
    Link to the post? Or we can't link to reddit from here. In to read comments too.
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  4. #214
    Cynic Voidgaze's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by ko300zx View Post
    Miscer: If she stays friends with them on FB, she's a whore.

    Miscer: If she deletes them and tries to hide it...also a whore.

    Miscer conclusion: All women are whores.
    I can't even disagree with that. Misc loves to hate women, and water is wet.

    Originally Posted by Jestbrah View Post
    Wont disagree on misc standards, but I could see this not being an "end the engagement" offense if she didnt hide it but regrets doing it and has no contact with the men from those days. Being engaged and staying in contact with people you used to fuk is trashy and not behavior I would accept in an engagement. One you accept a proposal, you stop talking to people you ****ed, you are vowing to marry a person for the rest of your life there is no room for former **** buddies in there.

    Having a past is a separate issue which some people can overlook and some can not, but still keeping contact with them is a current moral issue showing lack of moral progression.
    Sums up my thoughts perfectly.

    Imagine if your girls old fuk buddy is liking all of her chit on IG. Nope.
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  5. #215
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    The fiance is realizing what the four dudes on facebook are saying every time she posts a picture of the two of them.

    No way the relationship survives this.
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  6. #216
    but please, call me chr- KILLdante's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by lmfaooooooooooo View Post
    There are other studies that show the opposite.

    http s://ifstudies.or g/blog/counterintuitive-trends-in-the-link-between-premarital-sex-and-marital-stability

    Either way something like this is so biased from self reporting, you have to go with basic logic here. If a sloot has had thousands of dicks, that leaves thousands to compare to. The chance yours is the best she's ever had will be quite slim. And it can cause problems because people do compare prior partners with current ones.

    There is also the simple fact that if sex is no longer viewed as an act of love, but rather just a physical action for recreation, the promiscuous person is FAR more likely to cheat.
    Oh no honey.

    That's literally my article and it proves my point lmao.

    Do you know what counterintuitive means?
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  7. #217
    Registered User KingofLifts's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by KILLdante View Post
    How are you not linking the two? You're comparing being called insecure to being slut shamed. The two are completely different. One is based off of, once again, falsehoods and uncertainties while the other is based off of societal pretenses that can result in societal punishment. I suggest you read the paper again so you can see how incredibly dense your comparison is.

    No one is shaming the guy here. Not even me. If anything I'm shaming his inability to talk with his s/o of 2 years.
    They are different in details same in form... Shaming. If slut shaming implies a woman is "less" of a woman, then shaming a man for being "insecure" implies he is less of a man. Those both result in societal punishment. Are insecure men attractive or admired...?

    How are those completely different? We're not talking about the validity of slut shaming... we're talking about shaming in general.

    If you are against slut shaming, you MUST be against shaming a man for his so-called insecurities. You can't have it both ways.

    I read the paper. You still haven't replied... Are the women (who enforce 'slut shaming' stronger than the men do) insecure as well?
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  8. #218
    Registered User Suit's Avatar
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    ITT: People still defend someone who lied in order to start a relationship. Lied. Dishonest. Willing omission of information. That is all it takes to say bye.

    Retards still more worried about past sex life instead of dishonesty and lies.
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  9. #219
    Never Registered TBO1313's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by ko300zx View Post
    Seems you missed the point of that post...but appreciate the recap on the other 200.
    What was the point of the post? To show that she was in a no win situation?

    He was gonna find out and leave her eventually but if he had found out earlier it would've saved everyone time and embarrassment

    She screwed up when she decided to "live her best life". Her best hope now is to let guys know earlier and try and convince them that she regrets it and has changed. Its just like drug addicts who've recovered you don't make excuses for yourself you admit what you did was wrong and try to be better
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  10. #220
    Registered User Holyfenix's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Suit View Post
    ITT: People still defend someone who lied in order to start a relationship. Lied. Dishonest. Willing omission of information. That is all it takes to say bye.

    Retards still more worried about past sex life instead of dishonesty and lies.
    This guy gets it. Is riding the cock carousel a great trait in a partner? No. But it would be somewhat hypocritical to pass on a girl who has had multiple partners if you are a guy who has smashed his way through an entire female college population.
    The problem is she had a convo with her fiancé early on in the relationship about their sexual pasts and she omitted a HUGE part of it, including getting dicked down by 4 guys at once.

    Link to the reddit thread. Its locked now though

    https://www.reddit.com/r/relationshi..._college_days/
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  11. #221
    Registered User Jestbrah's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by meanstringbean View Post
    facebook friend =/= maintain contact. I am facebook friends with tons of girls Ive been with because we added each other years ago when seeing each other, but dont contact each other any more. Going through and deleting someone is just a waste of time and petty


    if she was still in contact with them then would agree 100%
    if you can ask your girl if she is still facebook friends with the 4 dudes who gangbanged her years ago in college and she can answer "all of them" without having to check facebook or say " I am not sure I may be with some of them", the chances she never checks back on them or reminisces and looks at their pics is pretty slim.
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  12. #222
    but please, call me chr- KILLdante's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by KingofLifts View Post
    They are different in details same in form... Shaming. If slut shaming implies a woman is "less" of a woman, then shaming a man for being "insecure" implies he is less of a man. Those both result in societal punishment. Are insecure men attractive or admired...?

    How are those completely different? We're not talking about the validity of slut shaming... we're talking about shaming in general.

    If you are against slut shaming, you MUST be against shaming a man for his so-called insecurities. You can't have it both ways.

    I read the paper. You still haven't replied... Are the women (who enforce 'slut shaming' stronger than the men do) insecure as well?
    You're stuck on this "shaming him for being insecure". No one is doing that. My first comment literally says "understandable".

    And let's not act like the societal stigma of being called insecure is anywhere on the level of being called a slut. You legit want this dude to be some sort of victim so bad and it's hilarious.

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  13. #223
    mic dropper pondus_levo's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by ko300zx View Post
    Miscer: If she stays friends with them on FB, she's a whore.

    Miscer: If she deletes them and tries to hide it...also a whore.

    Miscer conclusion: All women are whores.
    Right. All women are whores. They just need to be honest about it and let us make an informed decision.
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  14. #224
    Registered User TurbanMon's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by KILLdante View Post
    dude is insecure but it's understandable

    he probably thinks gangbang = more likely to cheat



    lmao what a god awful comparison

    scared of an exorcism? fukking lel. don't forget the boogeyman and the damage santa did to the chimney too.

    man, i'm sure even guys who are fine with their partners having high kill counts would draw the line at 4 way gang bang if they found out lol
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  15. #225
    Registered User KingofLifts's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by KILLdante View Post
    You're stuck on this "shaming him for being insecure". No one is doing that. My first comment literally says "understandable".

    And let's not act like the societal stigma of being called insecure is anywhere on the level of being called a slut. You legit want this dude to be some sort of victim so bad and it's hilarious.
    It's the entire attitude of being called "insecure" for something "understandable." Insecure isn't a positive moniker, even if it's understandable. How do you not understand that?

    Your last point is debatable... We can wait for some more academic articles..

    Like slut's are the true victims here.. comon brah give us a break
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  16. #226
    EDM since way back when Briisk's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Jestbrah View Post
    One you accept a proposal, you stop talking to people you ****ed, you are vowing to marry a person for the rest of your life there is no room for former **** buddies in there.
    Nobody has respect for anyone other than themselves anymore. I can do anything and talk to anyone I want.. I have my rights hurdur. Respect is the number one thing in a relationship.. respect each others well-being, goals and decisions. If your view of respect doesn't align with your partners, its over. If she still talks/has communication with her past partners because she doesn't see it as a sign of disrespect, while you do, might as well end it.

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  17. #227
    Registered User ko300zx's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Jestbrah View Post
    Wont disagree on misc standards, but I could see this not being an "end the engagement" offense if she didnt hide it but regrets doing it and has no contact with the men from those days. Being engaged and staying in contact with people you used to fuk is trashy and not behavior I would accept in an engagement. One you accept a proposal, you stop talking to people you ****ed, you are vowing to marry a person for the rest of your life there is no room for former **** buddies in there.

    Having a past is a separate issue which some people can overlook and some can not, but still keeping contact with them is a current moral issue showing lack of moral progression.
    Staying in contact with someone is quite a bit different than just being friends with someone on FB. I've accepted friend requests from old friends and haven't communicated with them after the fact. I get them all the time, and accept them, but I don't even use FB other than to see pics of my niece and nephew my brother posts. I'm just browsing posts but I only saw that the guy brought up being "friends on FB." If there was more to it and she was always talking with them, different story, but either way, I don't think communicating with someone you've slept with is a deal breaker. Depends on the circumstances (individual, not this story in particular).
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  18. #228
    Registered User Jestbrah's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Briisk View Post
    Nobody has respect for anyone other than themselves anymore. I can do anything and talk to anyone I want.. I have my rights hurdur. Respect is the number one thing in a relationship.. respect each others well-being, goals and decisions. If your view of respect doesn't align with your partners, its over. If she still talks/has communication with her past partners because she doesn't see it as a sign of disrespect, while you do, might as well end it.

    1- Respect
    2- Communication
    3- Honesty
    yup, simple boundary setting. Everyone is ENTITLED to their own boundaries, but you are not entitled to your partner accepting them. Sure some people want non-monogamous relationships or open relationships or relationships that have a dont ask dont tell rule for cheating, but thats not everyones boundaries and if your partners and yours differ, you either come to agreeable terms or split up. People who are too immature to discuss boundaries, address them, or come to terms with them deserve whatever happens. As a mature adult who has experienced relationships you should know the early stages are all about learning boundaries with your partner.
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  19. #229
    but please, call me chr- KILLdante's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by KingofLifts View Post
    It's the entire attitude of being called "insecure" for something "understandable." Insecure isn't a positive moniker, even if it's understandable. How do you not understand that?

    Your last point is debatable... We can wait for some more academic articles..

    Like slut's are the true victims here.. comon brah give us a break
    It's not as bad because you can always alleviate the social stigma attached to being insecure. Hence the reason I said "understandable".

    Now, look through this thread's replies. You really believe you can alleviate the social stigma around being called a slut? Even in 2020? C'mon man.

    To rely to your bolded yes. I'm almost 100% sure I agree with the notion that being nonpermissive stems from being insecure in some way.
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    Originally Posted by TurbanMon View Post
    man, i'm sure even guys who are fine with their partners having high kill counts would draw the line at 4 way gang bang if they found out lol
    And there is only 3 holes so what do you think that 4th guy was doing? Guarantee there are some blurry pics or video of her being stuffed.
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  21. #231
    World Warrior TypeNirvash's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by KILLdante View Post
    You're stuck on this "shaming him for being insecure". No one is doing that. My first comment literally says "understandable".

    And let's not act like the societal stigma of being called insecure is anywhere on the level of being called a slut. You legit want this dude to be some sort of victim so bad and it's hilarious.

    edit*- will reply to bolded in a sec. mid game right now
    So here's the thing; if the biggest thing for a man is his confidence, stability, and masculinity... Is it not a HUGE dig on him to undermine that masculinity by labeling him insecure? I agree, maybe it's not exactly on the same level.

    And look, man, I always er on the sexually liberal side of things. But if your description of your sex life is as follows:
    "College was just one big party, and I can't recall how many people I've had sex with nor can I even pick them out of a lineup... Sprinkle in a gangbang, too."

    Can we at least call a spade a spade? If that's not the behavior of somebody with fairly loose sexual morals, I suppose nobody has sexually loose morals.


    Like, look, I get it, you can change, as a person. Your values can shift for the better, and that's totally alright. But don't tell me that you think lying about it is a perfectly acceptable alternative. After all, you should NEVER lie to your partner about things like that if you want to build a stable and healthy relationship.

    Let's be real talk with each other.
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    Registered User proteinsnake's Avatar
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    You know, I actually feel bad for this chick. It's super normalized these days to be a complete sloot, especially in college. Nobody tells these young girls that there is going to be re-percussions later on in life for acting like that.

    Just listen to her say "IT WAS COLLEGE" as if that makes it okay, because that's what she hears every other sloot say.

    She could actually be a good girl, just the society we live in is poison.
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    Registered User meanstringbean's Avatar
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    Love the “but it’s college!” As if a couple random hookups and nights of beer pong that most experience equates to not remembering (or choosing not to remember) any of it
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    World Warrior TypeNirvash's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by proteinsnake View Post
    You know, I actually feel bad for this chick. It's super normalized these days to be a complete sloot, especially in college. Nobody tells these young girls that there is going to be re-percussions later on in life for acting like that.

    Just listen to her say "IT WAS COLLEGE" as if that makes it okay, because that's what she hears every other sloot say.

    She could actually be a good girl, just the society we live in is poison.
    You always know what you're doing isn't a good idea when you're doing it, even if it feels good. And while I always er on the side of sexual liberation, there's a limit. We can sit there and talk about the excuses we run in our head, and the mental gymnastics we play... But in all seriousness, we all know that "It was college" is a fairly weak excuse given that the purpose of college is not getting gangbanged.

    On the topic of excuses, though... Pretty much all of them are always weak when you really think about them.

    My favorite is "Everybody else is doing it." Because it's so laughably bad.
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  25. #235
    Registered User proteinsnake's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Holyfenix View Post
    This guy gets it. Is riding the cock carousel a great trait in a partner? No. But it would be somewhat hypocritical to pass on a girl who has had multiple partners if you are a guy who has smashed his way through an entire female college population.
    The problem is she had a convo with her fiancé early on in the relationship about their sexual pasts and she omitted a HUGE part of it, including getting dicked down by 4 guys at once.

    Link to the reddit thread. Its locked now though

    https://www.reddit.com/r/relationshi..._college_days/
    You want to feel proud to have snagged your girl, if literally every dude and his brother has ravaged her holes there's nothing to be proud of. She's obviously easy to obtain and literally any dude with a decent jawline could go balls deep if he wanted to, so the fact that she "chose" you means nothing - cause you were just next in line.
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    Registered User Lowkick's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Pqlamzn View Post
    A male turning down sloots HEAVILY increases his value in the eyes of women with high standards just as it increases the value of a woman in the eyes of a high value male to turn down every random guy that wants to fk you.
    I agree with this and to be fair this is something which is not covered much at all.

    Also;
    if this story was real I'd go NC asap.

    I already draw the line at 7 ≃+ sexual partners but just lol at getting gangbanged by 4 willingly;
    you're basically trash to me at that point.

    Actions have consequences bimboes.
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  27. #237
    Registered User Jestbrah's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by ko300zx View Post
    Staying in contact with someone is quite a bit different than just being friends with someone on FB. I've accepted friend requests from old friends and haven't communicated with them after the fact. I get them all the time, and accept them, but I don't even use FB other than to see pics of my niece and nephew my brother posts. I'm just browsing posts but I only saw that the guy brought up being "friends on FB." If there was more to it and she was always talking with them, different story, but either way, I don't think communicating with someone you've slept with is a deal breaker. Depends on the circumstances (individual, not this story in particular).
    Like I said, based on OP, she was able to immediately say "yes all of them". She knew even YEARS later she was still friends with the four dudes she had a gang bang with. If I had any remorse or regret for the situation or cared about my partners feelings, my response would not be "yes all of them" nor would I most likely even recall immediately if I was still friends with someone I banged years ago and have had no further communication with, I would have to go back and check or think hard if I had ever seen them post something.
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  28. #238
    Registered User proteinsnake's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by TypeNirvash View Post
    You always know what you're doing isn't a good idea when you're doing it, even if it feels good. And while I always er on the side of sexual liberation, there's a limit. We can sit there and talk about the excuses we run in our head, and the mental gymnastics we play... But in all seriousness, we all know that "It was college" is a fairly weak excuse given that the purpose of college is not getting gangbanged.

    On the topic of excuses, though... Pretty much all of them are always weak when you really think about them.

    My favorite is "Everybody else is doing it." Because it's so laughably bad.
    Yeah, of course it's still her responsibility but you have to consider how powerful herd mentality can be. If she happened to make friends with a bunch of girls who were sloots, it convinces you that that's actually what's normal and everyone else is just a prude. You're hanging out with other guys in college who are obviously HAPPY that you're a sloot because then they get to smash.

    It's not until you get out of college and away from those people that you realize the world isn't like that. It's the same way any kind of brainwashing works.

    If she shows that she regrets doing that and that she feels bad about it, i'd say there is hope for redemption depending on a lot of variables.
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    Originally Posted by KILLdante View Post
    It's not as bad because you can always alleviate the social stigma attached to being insecure. Hence the reason I said "understandable".

    Now, look through this thread's replies. You really believe you can alleviate the social stigma around being called a slut? Even in 2020? C'mon man.

    To rely to your bolded yes. I'm almost 100% sure I agree with the notion that being nonpermissive stems from being insecure in some way.
    Agreed, insecure people can become confident. And yes, we are all trying hard to alleviate the stigma around being called a slut. Hence, Amber Rose's slut walk.. so on. The point im trying to make is that questioning your partners sexual permissiveness is now an "insecure" act.. Why in God's name is that insecure? Don't people have the choice to be picky? And why do we have to shame them for that?

    It's also just an assumption that the fiance in question thought that the women would be unfaithful due to her past. We don't know that. Maybe he just lost respect for her. Maybe in his worldview, have a foursome is an undignified act. Are we to still shame him for being "insecure"? Isn't that us just enforcing our relative moral code onto him? Isn't that what slut shaming is as well? An enforcement of our relative moral code onto a so called slut?

    Yet we don't shame women for being insecure when they enforce slut shaming standards... why?

    My point is, and has always been, it's unfair to call this dude or any other dude insecure for his preferences, if and only if you are against slut shaming.
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  30. #240
    WOATbrah of peace :) sooby's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by luxury91 View Post
    She was in college. She's horny. Men are horny. It was more than (I'm assuming) a decade ago. How she is now is not how she was ten years ago, if she decided to get gang banged today it would be a different story but you can't judge someone from something she did long time ago. The only wrong thing she did was not being honest.
    People don't change that easily and there is such things as red flags. An employer probably won't risk hiring somebody with a murder conviction from 10 years ago. Maybe he turned a new leaf and maybe he's a nice guy but why take that risk when there's plenty of other people. Just like in this situation, why risk marriage, then divorce, half of your chit taken when you can probably find another girl. The girl wasn't exactly upfront about her past as well. It took a drunk BF and even when the word was out she was very vague like "it was a blur" or "I don't know". Either she was just lights out drunk, legit couldn't keep track of the guys she's fuked or is still trying to deflect. Probably a combination of the 3. And either way fukn lol at wifeing up somebody like that and lol at the college excuse. She probably should have been up front from the start about her past sex life and it probably wouldn't have been as bad. If she was single and fuking guys every now and then fine, but the fact that she hid this, still deflected once she got exposed, doesn't remember chit and probably got gangbanged fukn lmao ... yeah.
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