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Thread: Bf drama

  1. #1
    Registered User RoxyFoxy22's Avatar
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    Bf drama

    Ok, so most of you know about the last thread. I gave him the money I owned (15k) and decided to stop the equal splitting. He got mad because he said he will have another lifestyle and the relationship will completely change, because he is no longer affording to keep up with me. I am not a spender, but when I want something I can afford it without consequences or thinking too much.

    I decided to ignore his convo tries to make me split again the earnings, but he got distant and cold. I am not chasing anybody so I was like ok, fine.
    Time passes by, he goes back home(another country) to buy a newer, bigger apartment in another city and we are living separately again, there is a cold sore on his tongue, got some things from the pharmacy and treated it, but that sore is never healing. I call some friends that are docs, send them pics and they all recommend seeing a lab to get tissue out of the tongue, one of them said it looks like oral cancer.

    I tell him, he starts to be angry and I understand it, terrible news to admit that you possibly have that. However, even though our relationship is going down the drain I add him again back in business so he makes enough money to support the treatments without looking at his savings account, he gets in 1 week the salary he had before meeting me. He does not appreciate it one bit, also not the fact that I make all the calls and doc appointments and it is pretty hard actually during corona, in a 3rd world country etc. He also told me indirectly that if I do not go with him to the docs (I need to go back to my native country for this) he will sit inside the house and rot.

    He has a sister that does not talk to him (I think his behaviour is the reason why) and who I think will not give a fuk about his disease. His parents passed long ago, other relatives or good friends to take care of him - non existent. My family and friends do not want to hear about risking my own health for his, especially since none of them like him. Everybody says that he is around for the money only and that I used to date guys who I'd insult by comparing to him (which is in many aspects true).

    I see a psychiatrist for my perfectionism -warrior syndrome behaviour too and her answer was - you are only responsible for your own life, you are not his babysitter, you need to solve your issues, please stop solving other's people problems.
    I do not know what to do, I feel that it would talk loud about me if I would leave him now, since the entire relationship was mostly drama anyway. Second, I also do not feel that he deserves my help, he is very rude and disrespectful and also tried to imply that I am the cause of his illness, because I stressed him.


    If you answer this thread please do it seriously, the only reason why this is not on reddit is because he lurks it.

    Cliffs: OP gave bf 15k as promised and cut him off
    Bf is suspect of oral cancer and gets very angry
    Op gets him back in her business so he can get rid of the financial worry
    Bf does not want to take treatment and go to docs by himself, also he is very disrespectful+selfish
    OP needs to travel back to another country risking her health cuz corona
    OP feels he is not appreciating anything she does for sick Bf
    OP does not want to leave him sick, but also does not want his disrespectful azz
    Bf tells OP she is the reason why he is sick because she is a stress factor
    Op asks for serious answers only
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    Registered User tripod29's Avatar
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    Cliffs of cliffs?
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    owed or owned?

    also, yes....cliffs
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    Cliffs: OP gave bf 15k as promised and cut him off
    Bf is suspect of oral cancer and gets very angry
    Op gets him back in her business so he can get rid of the financial worry
    Bf does not want to take treatment and go to docs by himself, also he is very disrespectful+selfish
    OP needs to travel back to another country risking her health cuz corona
    OP feels he is not appreciating anything she does for sick Bf
    OP does not want to leave him sick, but also does not want his disrespectful azz
    Bf tells OP she is the reason why he is sick because she is a stress factor
    Op asks for serious answers only
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    Registered User RoxyFoxy22's Avatar
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    Guys, I feel that I am a bish if I get rid of him now, but he is not making it easy to help him. He is very selfish and disrespectful for someone who depends on my help. I don't know what to do .
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    Registered User Vrykul's Avatar
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    I dont know whats there to think about. He's blaming you for his cancer, thats an immediate NC from me

    I can't stand irrational people. But knowing who the OP is, this story is probably half fake to make OP look good
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    Cool

    Perfectionism warrior syndrome lmfaooo

    I would love to have u as a psychiatric patient u believe anything lmfao. Ur prolly bpd anyway thats why u stayed in this relationship so long. Bpd an narcs go together like pb n jelly. Crazy ass hors
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    Shudnt you be dressed like a muslim woman begging near an offramp?
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    Leave him alone & sort your chit out. In the previous thread you pretty much told everyone that he is a useless kent and now you are running after him paying for his medical bills etc.

    Math doesn't add up sista
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    Originally Posted by Vrykul View Post
    I dont know whats there to think about. He's blaming you for his cancer, thats an immediate NC from me

    I can't stand irrational people. But knowing who the OP is, this story is probably half fake to make OP look good
    His parents died and I think it affected him, all his life he lived alone in his house and had relationships that were pretty long, he also confessed that he was the troublemaker in all of the relationships and I am the worst gf he had, the rest of them were so much more submissive I guess. For me, it also looks like NC but if I do not help him, he will not ask for help. This is my only concern, if I am not a good match for him, I do understand it, but why is he not caring about his own health so I can move on ?

    Originally Posted by SteadyFlexOnU View Post
    Perfectionism warrior syndrome lmfaooo

    I would love to have u as a psychiatric patient u believe anything lmfao. Ur prolly bpd anyway thats why u stayed in this relationship so long. Bpd an narcs go together like pb n jelly. Crazy ass hors
    I am a perfectionist and I also help people instead of helping myself first. I do not suffer from bpd and you should not put diagnostics online like a moron with no degree in mental health.

    Originally Posted by 3basic5me View Post
    Shudnt you be dressed like a muslim woman begging near an offramp?
    Go away

    Originally Posted by azzspankr View Post
    owed or owned?

    also, yes....cliffs
    He worked with me and I had to pay him half, that's what I mean.

    Originally Posted by tripod29 View Post
    Cliffs of cliffs?
    I'm sorry, I can't do it shorter if you want to understand the situation
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    TLDR - OP has herpes
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    Originally Posted by Schnitzl View Post
    Leave him alone & sort your chit out. In the previous thread you pretty much told everyone that he is a useless kent and now you are running after him paying for his medical bills etc.

    Math doesn't add up sista
    It is very common for me to get mad at people I see as useless kunts, but still help them. I am still angry at who he is, but still down to help him. This is the warrior syndrome actually and it comes from some traumatic event, usually childhood. In my case, it happened when my father passed and my mom who had to raise children alone couldn't afford psychological support. I can afford it now and it made me realize thousands of things about myself and I am also on the right track.

    But I will always be the kind who also helps people who do not deserve help, maybe, or who do not want help. This is not going to be changed in few years of therapy. I also don't want something bad to happen to him.
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    Question

    This is VERY similar to what I went through with my ex-wife. I was never able to solve the problem either but maybe you could help me/we both can be helped if I post about it here? The problem was money of course but you see I gave her the money I owned her and decided to stop the equal splitting. She got mad because she said she will have another lifestyle and the relationship will completely change, because she is no longer affording to keep up with me. I am not a spender, but when I want something I can afford it without consequences or thinking too much.

    I decided to ignore her convo tries to make me split again the earnings, but she got distant and cold. I am not chasing anybody so I was like ok, fine.
    Time passes by, she goes back home(another country) to buy a newer, bigger apartment in another city and we are living separately again, there is a cold sore on her tongue, got some things from the pharmacy and treated it, but that sore is never healing. I call some friends that are docs, send them pics and they all recommend seeing a lab to get tissue out of the tongue, one of them said it looks like oral cancer.

    I tell her, she starts to be angry and I understand it, terrible news to admit that you possibly have that. However, even though our relationship is going down the drain I add her again back in business so she makes enough money to support the treatments without looking at her savings account, she gets in 1 week the salary she had before meeting me. She does not appreciate it one bit, also not the fact that I make all the calls and doc appointments and it is pretty hard actually during corona, in a 3rd world country etc. She also told me indirectly that if I do not go with her to the docs (I need to go back to my native country for this) she will sit inside the house and rot.

    She has a sister that does not talk to her (I think his behaviour is the reason why) and who I think will not give a fuk about her disease. Her parents passed long ago, other relatives or good friends to take care of her - non existent. My family and friends do not want to hear about risking my own health for her, especially since none of them like her. Everybody says that she is around for the money only and that I used to date guys who I'd insult by comparing to her (which is in many aspects true).

    I see a psychiatrist for my perfectionism -warrior syndrome behaviour too and her answer was - you are only responsible for your own life, you are not her babysitter, you need to solve your issues, please stop solving other's people problems.
    I do not know what to do, I feel that it would talk loud about me if I would leave her now, since the entire relationship was mostly drama anyway. Second, I also do not feel that she deserves my help, she is very rude and disrespectful and also tried to imply that I am the cause of her illness, because I stressed her.


    If you answer this thread please do it seriously, the only reason why this is not on reddit is because she lurks it.

    Cliffs: OP gave bf 15k as promised and cut her off
    Gf is suspect of oral cancer and gets very angry
    Op gets her back in his business so she can get rid of the financial worry
    Gf does not want to take treatment and go to docs by himself, also she is very disrespectful+selfish
    OP needs to travel back to another country risking his health cuz corona
    OP feels he is not appreciating anything he does for sick Gf
    OP does not want to leave her sick, but also does not want her disrespectful azz
    Gf tells OP he is the reason why she is sick because he is a stress factor
    Op asks for serious answers only

    Wat do???
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    Take him to a snowy place. Problem solved.

    Srs though, the relationship isn't working. Cut your losses, get out, start your own business.
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    1. Cut him off and move on and forget he exists. Who cares what people think. Plus they all hate him anyway. And if anyone has an excuse you have a thousand good excuses for breaking it off.

    2. I agree with what the other person said. It sounds like you have BPD. As someone who has dated a girl with OCD + BPD you probably have stressed him the f*ck out. That said, it didn't cause him to get sick. He just knows what to say to bother you.

    Good luck. Get a new counselor to talk to.

    Perfectionist warrior syndrome...
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  16. #16
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    You sound toxic for each other tbh. Nice you want to help him but surely he has family or other close friends that would help him too. You already tried to help him right? He didn’t appreciate it so that’s it, you did your part but don’t string him along, that’s not cool either.
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    Originally Posted by tripod29 View Post
    Cliffs of cliffs?
    OP got the herpes from a client and passed it to her bf and now he's pissed
    #chaga_gangsta
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    Typical woman who thinks she's the special one that will finally change a man. You love drama and negativity and will end up broke, pregnant and full of stds.
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    Sounds like you passed on HPV to him from cunnilingus

    https://www.newsweek.com/hpv-oral-se...er-risk-686645
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    it's time for you to leave the relationship. For his sake and yours make the cut deep, swift, and decisive. Then move on and NC him.
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    Originally Posted by elterrible987 View Post
    TLDR - OP has herpes
    This is not true.

    Originally Posted by MuzzieChik786 View Post
    Take him to a snowy place. Problem solved.

    Srs though, the relationship isn't working. Cut your losses, get out, start your own business.
    This is what I know I should do.

    Originally Posted by J411 View Post
    1. Cut him off and move on and forget he exists. Who cares what people think. Plus they all hate him anyway. And if anyone has an excuse you have a thousand good excuses for breaking it off.

    2. I agree with what the other person said. It sounds like you have BPD. As someone who has dated a girl with OCD + BPD you probably have stressed him the f*ck out. That said, it didn't cause him to get sick. He just knows what to say to bother you.

    Good luck. Get a new counselor to talk to.

    Perfectionist warrior syndrome...
    My psychiatrist is one of the best and you should not give diagnosis online as a non-medical worker. I do not take this seriously, but some people do. It is called the warrior syndrome, not the perfectionist warrior syndrome. Perfectionism is another issue, separately.

    Originally Posted by JaymzJ View Post
    You sound toxic for each other tbh. Nice you want to help him but surely he has family or other close friends that would help him too. You already tried to help him right? He didn’t appreciate it so that’s it, you did your part but don’t string him along, that’s not cool either.
    He has no family and no friends that would help him with that kind of help. His parents passed away and due to his behaviour, his sister is not talking to him for years already. I do not mind about the relationship, it is already clear that I am not happy and he is not happy too, but the fact that he put it like that '' if you do not help me and come with me to the docs, I'll simply rot'' makes it difficult.

    Originally Posted by iloveus View Post
    So you're Captain Save A Bro?
    Probably.

    Originally Posted by jamalfudge View Post
    OP got the herpes from a client and passed it to her bf and now he's pissed
    Not true.

    Originally Posted by homersexual View Post
    Typical woman who thinks she's the special one that will finally change a man. You love drama and negativity and will end up broke, pregnant and full of stds.
    Don't you read ? I don't want to change him or him as a boyfriend, I want him to live and to take care of himself so I can take care of my life.

    Originally Posted by AlBHappy View Post
    Sounds like you passed on HPV to him from cunnilingus

    https://www.newsweek.com/hpv-oral-se...er-risk-686645
    I thought about this, but it is not possible. I lost my virginity very late and before losing it I vaccinated for HPV 3 times, for 9 roots of the virus
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  23. #23
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    Originally Posted by sowilson View Post
    it's time for you to leave the relationship. For his sake and yours make the cut deep, swift, and decisive. Then move on and NC him.
    I had a convo with him today after typing this thread, so I sent him the doctors names and phone numbers. HE said not to type them anymore cause he will clear the chat anyway and not use any of it. I offered to call and let him now for this week, but he said not to.

    Basically he will stay with the cancer which manifests as loss of tissue until it will spread even more. I don't know who to call and tell that he needs help.
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    Do you need a silent partner for your business?

    Asking for a friend.
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    Originally Posted by RoxyFoxy22 View Post

    Bf tells OP she is the reason why he is sick because she is a stress factor
    Projecting this onto you is a humongous red flag.
    100% grounds to go NC.
    Probably should only consider sticking around if you two go to counseling immediately.
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    I read about half of this and got bored. You described your BF as a loser that you don't have a future with in a relationship or in business. So what's to discuss? What advice what you give someone who typed that out?
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    Op since you like to be helpful, can you give me 2 or 3k euros?
    Thks in advance!
    Xoxo
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    Originally Posted by AlBHappy View Post
    Do you need a silent partner for your business?

    Asking for a friend.
    Haha, no thanks.

    Originally Posted by skinnyfat88 View Post
    Projecting this onto you is a humongous red flag.
    100% grounds to go NC.
    Probably should only consider sticking around if you two go to counseling immediately.
    He wouldn't accept it, we live in 2 diff countries and he should go to another type of dr. I don't know how to tell him to go to the dr.

    Originally Posted by Mr Beer View Post
    I read about half of this and got bored. You described your BF as a loser that you don't have a future with in a relationship or in business. So what's to discuss? What advice what you give someone who typed that out?
    Help him, finding a solution that he gets help. I'm not comfortable with someone who is going to rot inside the house having cancer.

    Originally Posted by Hnbn1 View Post
    Op since you like to be helpful, can you give me 2 or 3k euros?
    Thks in advance!
    Xoxo
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    You can't make him do something he doesn't want to do. He's a grown man and if he's that immature that he won't see the Drs regarding possible cancer, there is nothing you can do. You tried. There's nothing more you can do. Cut your losses.
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    Originally Posted by RoxyFoxy22 View Post
    This is not true.

    I thought about this, but it is not possible. I lost my virginity very late and before losing it I vaccinated for HPV 3 times, for 9 roots of the virus



    Its entirely possible. The vaccine is for some but not all strains. Its entirely possible you have HPV and not just herpes.
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