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Thread: Hey

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    Registered User NateFerland's Avatar
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    Hey

    Meh. I'm not gonna post a picture, rather a short story. Well as best I can perhaps.
    I'm Nate. I'm 23. Been diagnosed with severe depression, but I avoid hospitals etc. I have a med, does somewhat help.

    Since the end of october I've been alone at home, left my job in january because I couldnt take going and going to the dr. and things were never better. I felt like a burden and waste of time for all who cares. I never fully bought the concept of losing one's mind. But staying home for so long avoiding going out because I don't want people to see me, seeing my inboxes completely empty always.

    I, was empty for the most part, just empty, in some sort of limbo. Now I feel some pain coming by, and I don't have the strength yet to do anything about it. I've countless ressources I aquired over the years from the best mentors out there yet I apply none of them. What's the point if I don't see no one, no purpose nor reason to sleep or wake up? Guys, laugh or call me troll, I could care less and will move on, but right now I think I'm seriously losing it alone. I've had the stuff happen, Break up with my best friend of 7 years, we met in high school and dated for a long time. I really lost myself a long time ago, and people who say they want the best for me today and support me, theyre words and theyre not around at the end of the day. yet they say i shouldnt do this alone because im known to do all by myself

    ( got me nowhere here heh. )

    Anyway I'm aware this is all over the place, it's, my mind is quite weird at the moment. I barely eat, sleep somewhat, I stay indoors all the time. I, this I can't.

    I want help if I can get any, I know nothing about training, I used to be quite an okay runner, going out after months of doing nothing and I can still manage 7km by will but Im dead for too long after. the abs and arms have always been most intimidating kind of pain to me, i dont know why. Legs I felt hell and theyve always got stonger as I ran or did whatever. Arms feel weaker as far as tolerance for pain goes, same as back and abs etc.

    Thanks for listening to my weird rambling I guess. I feel quite hollow and yet know it's my fault. I just can't find a reason to do anything. Figured talking about me for the first time on something I know would help was worth a shot, heh.

    * Sigh *

    Thanks again,
    Nate
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