Is it normal to find dating frustrating ?

[chadboy18]

I’m using Tinder since yesterday, I have zero matches so far…wtf, I’m a good looking guy…

So, I guess I have to pay Tinder Gold or plus or whatever in order this thing to work, am I right?

[swoleyo]

Oh ye, super difficult to find any woman of quality nowadays. The good ones are swiped up quickly, the rest perpetually hang out on dating sites.

You gotta get lucky and catch them in a small window of time. Also, more likely to find quality people outside of dating apps and doing other activities/hobbies.

This man speaks the truth. I found a halfway descent girl and dated her for a couple years. I came back and noticed the same girls on these dating sites. They just gained a couple pounds and the list of qualities they wanted in a man expanded.


Most of the girls you find on dating sites are going to be damaged goods.

A big mistake a lot of us made was ****ing around when we were younger. The older you get the harder it becomes to find a quality girl. The good ones get snatched up and you're left with trash.

Getting laid becomes easier but it's not much of a consolidation prize for not having a descent life partner.

[trapspot]

I’m using Tinder since yesterday, I have zero matches so far…wtf, I’m a good looking guy…

So, I guess I have to pay Tinder Gold or plus or whatever in order this thing to work, am I right?

- Good looking guy
- No avi

Pick 1

[StrawberryTaco]

u gotta hav game i liv in my van n i hav no probs with ladies . i picked dis chic up at planetfitness. .. a solid 6 n let her come 2 me by treating her lik a 3 . chics r more interested if u treat em half as hot they b . feel me ,? u gotta giv em freedom 2 , u know they lik cats a cat doesn wanna b trapped u jus let it go n it will come back 2 u when it wants to be pet again n wonder y ur not calling

[aherpderp]

A big mistake a lot of us made was ****ing around when we were younger. The older you get the harder it becomes to find a quality girl. The good ones get snatched up and you're left with trash.

This
I fell for the misc meme.
perhaps it was actually true pre 2012

but after 2012, the best bet to find a quality woman was to get her when you were young. sure it might not work out.

but there are few attractive quality women who are older, almost every guy is going to be trying to lock her down.
its like a reverse chad effect. maybe 1% of women older than 2 are attractive and have good values, but 90% of guys will be searching for her.
Sure you can go for younger girls when you're older, but after a certain point it gets weird and you're not gonna get as many opportunities to meet her cause you're not at uni or highschool etc.

maybe things will be different after 2020

[chadboy18]

This
I fell for the misc meme.
perhaps it was actually true pre 2012

but after 2012, the best bet to find a quality woman was to get her when you were young. sure it might not work out.

but there are few attractive quality women who are older, almost every guy is going to be trying to lock her down.
its like a reverse chad effect. maybe 1% of women older than 2 are attractive and have good values, but 90% of guys will be searching for her.
Sure you can go for younger girls when you're older, but after a certain point it gets weird and you're not gonna get as many opportunities to meet her cause you're not at uni or highschool etc.

maybe things will be different after 2020

This is true. You can’t easily find a quality woman especially when you’re in your late 30’s and you don’t have any social circle. All the decent women in terms of looks and personality are already taken, are either married or in long term relationships.

On the other hand, there is a classical myth which indicates that many beautiful women after riding the CC are ready to settle in their 30s with the beta provider. This is not accurate, because these women once they hit the wall in most cases have double standards, they still want the looks but now they want and money, status and stability as well. They want an attractive guy who can provide, trust me all want exactly the same guy, the ‘’attractive provider’’.

But…having insane standards, for their age, most of these women will never find what they really want, and in their late 30’s or early 40’s will settle with the beta provider, an average looking or below average looking dude who can provide…A lot of them will remain unmarried, because they don’t want to lower their standards.

[1320it]

You should focus on yourself OP. You are clearly not ready to be with someone.

[Drago1985]

This man speaks the truth. I found a halfway descent girl and dated her for a couple years. I came back and noticed the same girls on these dating sites. They just gained a couple pounds and the list of qualities they wanted in a man expanded.

I have noticed the same phenomenon. Some have been there for YEARS.

[sandman2019]

I have noticed the same phenomenon. Some have been there for YEARS.

Yes, I made a thread about it yesterday, saw my ex on tinder last night lol.

God dam I miss smashing her. It's so hard for men to get decent women . Unless you're a real chad. Literally got to do so much for a chance with a 5/10 it's just not worth it. Having a gf who I was attracted to was awesome, plowing her, cuddling her, lying on the couch then start phucking etc. Feels like a dream it was that long ago. But dam some other lucky dude gets to experience her and I just go to fap each day and "focus on myself" hoping to get a girl as good as her in the future. **** me mean. Wish I never met her.

[RagnarChadbrok]

Almost all young guys are frustrated with dating. You will be up until you find the girl you want to stay with (please make sure you're very selective and cautious when picking her lmao)

[EctoPlasmic217]

i feel my mindset and perspective on it has changed over the years, but what i don't like about it, is that the way it looks like, guys, men, have to know all of these god damn social behaviors or certain social abilities, social dynamics, conversation and social skills, certain things that are behavioral based, women for the most part, just have to be attractive, and they already have like 3 to 5 dates lined up already. Thats not something that requires skill, strategy, learning behaviors, etc.

[randomuser12345]

Question is how can you not find dating frustrating if you aren't chad? You are just perfectly normal guy: have good job, few friends, take care of your appearance but still not good enough for majority of girls. Makes you feel miserable cos you don't even know what is wrong. And guess what? Nothing is wrong, you just not a chad. So you really can't do much about your looks, you can only make more money. Will it give you happiness knowing the same girls wouldn't give you time of day when you weren't rich but suck some guys dick just beacause he is tall?
I mean when you are walking outside and see some young guy 6'4'' full head of hair. Probably he is fking every girl that flaked or ghosted you. That's life.

[cannon300]

I just want a girlfriend who is fit, small, short, and sexy like my ex.

Therein lies your problem OP, you need to stop comparing every girl you meet to your ex. It’s no wonder you find dating frustrating. I don’t think you’re ready to be in a relationship again yet, I know it’s not what you want to hear but you need to focus on yourself and don’t even think about dating for a while. What’s the rush?

Personally, I‘ve been out of a relationship for 6 months and don’t give a chit about dating anymore. I’m quite happy focusing on myself, hobbies, work etc. If a girl comes along great, but it’s just a bonus. I think you need to realise your happiness in life shouldn’t primarily come from a girl, she should just add to it.

And I refuse to use dating apps, for me most girls on them are either attention seekers, damaged goods or flakey, none of which are good qualities. I would much rather run into a girl naturally.

[EctoPlasmic217]

"Normally, you are the one who has to begin the initial conversation or interaction; you are the one who starts touching her, who takes her number, who calls her up, who tells her where to meet you for a date, who initiates a hug the next time you see her, who takes her to a café or whatever the place is, who touches her hand across the table, who goes in for the first kiss, who leads her home, who undresses her, and so on through the many small steps all the way into bed.

You are responsible for making things happen since you are the male, so advancing is all on your shoulders. Whenever you feel you are not getting anywhere with a woman, or that things are moving slowly, it is because you are not advancing. If you ever catch yourself thinking something such as, “I am not getting anywhere with this girl,” or “I do not know if she likes me,” then it is time for you to make a move.

She will not do it, not even if she wants you, and if she does make a move then she is seducing you, not the other way around. If you are thinking, “Well, but if she wants me, why doesn’t she make a move?” it means you do not understand women very well, what they want, or that you as a male are expected to act like a male — and that she is thinking the exact same thing.

All over the world, females grow more frustrated by the day because males they know are interested in them are afraid or do not know how to show it by making a move. Many males lose women because they fail to make a move when they have the chance. When you do have the chance but do not take it, the woman is thinking “Why isn’t he doing anything?” because her mindset does not include the option of doing something herself. She will start thinking that you do not like her, or she will park you in her let’s-just-be-friends spot and look for a real man.” W. Anton

that sums it up, dead on there.

[devopsengineer]

It is extremely frustrating.

[PepperedAngus]

Its frustrating... and today more than usual because Hinge decided to crash and log me out and now it wont log me back in.

Finding a true match is very difficult and frankly, alot of luck.

[EctoPlasmic217]

It is extremely frustrating.

it gets even more annoying when people say that women need to learn it, or that women need to have skills, my mindset, perspective on that is:

how so? The way it looks like, guys, men, have to know or learn how to do: approach, walk up to women and open our mouth, begin the interaction or start an interaction first, make the conversation or interaction interesting, pretty much if an interaction goes poorly, it's always the man's fault, lead the interaction, flirt and tease, be challenging, be confident or have confidence, pass her ****-tests, ask her out, call or text first, plan and set up the dates, go in for the first kiss, lead or take the lead, have leadership, have a mission or purpose, and probably many other things either I don't know or forgot to mention.

Women just have to go out and show up or simply just be there, and be attractive, that requires no skill or no strategy, that's not something that's behavioral-base or takes practice, training, trial and error, it looks like, everything simply "just happens" for them.

and whenever people say "thats the way it is", that irritates me even more.